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Angel Van Atta

Joined 21 months ago from Delhi, California




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I am a homeschooling, conservative libertarian, agnostic, fun loving mother of two and wife of one. I very much believe in equality and family and acceptance and love. I wish that we lived in a world where true peace was obtainable for all people, no matter their religion, race, sexual orientation or political beliefs. I wish that we lived in a world where man didn't have to fear other men.

I love to cook! I love to shop! I love to watch my children learn something new! I'm trying to be a runner, and getting better every time. One day I want to just run. Just feel the wind rushing against my face and the freedom that comes with the knowledge that just my feet can take me anywhere! I love the idea that at any time I place my hand on the door and take that step out into the world that it could lead me anywhere. That the world is big and exciting and waiting! But I'm also a little bit afraid of that. And that fear makes me sad.

I want to sew. I want to create. I want to make something beautiful and fun and maybe useful with my own two hands. Something that I could give to someone that would put a smile on their face and a little happy spot in their heart.

I make silly cat videos on YouTube and am addicted to Clash of Clans. I'm not always the best speller and only put shoes on when it's a necessary thing, socially speaking. I love chickens and think that they make the greatest pets, and buying eggs makes me sad, but I sometimes buy them anyway.

I love board games and rpg's. They are like a passion. Any new game I try I fall in love with. From Monopoly to Ticket To Ride. I collect them and cherish them as much as I cherish my books. Stephen King was more like a father to me than my real one. Not that I ever met the guy, but his books were my world, his characters, my friends. Growing up was hard for me, but I always found comfort in the pages of books, and my favorite places to escape were usually his.

Holidays are very important to me! I make sure that we celebrate as many of them as we can!!! The Great Pumpkin comes on Halloween Eve, bringing candy and treats. The Leprachauns come on St. Patricks Day Eve, playing tricks on us, turning our milk green and hanging our underoos from cieling fans and making giant pyramids out of our canned veggies. The Easter Bunny fills giant baskets with chocolate goodies and Santa!!!! Christmas is full of lights and hot cocoa and music and smiles and presents and stockings full of candy!

I've been married for 15 years. I was 19 and he was 22. Kinda love at first site. His hands... his hands are what I fell in love with first. They are big and strong and gentle. And his eyes are kind. He's the first man that ever made me feel safe and valued. He's the first man that ever truly loved me back. He's amazing. I am lucky. He's my best friend. My everything. My always.

My daughter has this rare condition called Trichotillomania. It presents itself usually in adolescents. It's this crazy thing that causes uncontrollable urges to pull out your hair. Think about that. Think about the hell that must be. Not that I'm asking for sympathy for her, because, she's amazing and perfect and awe inspiring. But the thought of not being able to control something that seems so simple. To be forced to pull out your own hair. The feelings of rage and hate and self loathing that could so easily swallow you up because you are doing something that you don't want to do, but you just can't stop. And people ask why. People stare. People say like it's the easiest thing in the world, "Just don't do it." But it's not easy. It's impossible. We're lucky so far, though. Some people pull from their scalps, leaving bald spots and thin spots, places that would make it so hard for her in social situations. We're lucky because so far she only pulls from her brows and lashes. Sometimes she's had none, and that's when it's scary because that's when it could spread. But we decided to not let Trich define us. It's a dark passenger, maybe, but it's not who she is, or what she is. We've taken the pressure off of her and don't try to stop her from pulling like so many parents do. We've tried to reinforce that she's not doing anything wrong because she can't stop, she can't not pull, and her pulling is so much less. She mostly has eyebrows all the time now, and that's a huge improvement and that's all we can ask for. Because in the end, it doesn't matter how much hair is on her head, but how much she values herself that's important. We don't want her to see a failure when she looks in the mirror. We want her to see what we see. A beautiful, amazing, smart, funny, incredible person who is going to do great things in this life.

My son is also great. He was born with his father's uncanny ability to just know how stuff works. He's super into making videos and also runs his own YouTube channel. He's tall and handsome and can cook and whoever lands him one day (hopefully after college) is going to be a lucky person indeed.

And that's pretty much it. I guess I can add that I love movies, Disneyland and eating all the foods, but, really, who doesn't? ;) If you've made it this far you deserve a prize, but the only one I have to give is my gratitude. Thanks for reading a little bit about who I am, and I hope that your day is a bright one.

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