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Joined 5 years ago




Married three times:twice to the same man, Mom-of-three, Bachelor's degree in dental hygiene with a minor in healthcare administration, rental manager, wanna-be-writer, Poet, phylosopher, go getter-that's me!

In my first marriage I became me! (second marriage even more me and 3rd marriage the best me) I met the man at 17 and did not date anyone else.  I moved out of my mom's house at 19 and went of to college.  I married at 21 years old, and chose not to have a child until almost graduating from hygiene school.   I was 8 months pregnant when I graduated with a Bachelor's degree and cum laude(good grade point average) and survived a horrible 3 months of constant  and unpredictable gut-wrenching, teeth-clenching, violent, uncontrollable, throwing-up, I had ever experienced.  I  survived falling asleep at the wheel when driving, and horrible nausea ;yet, I managed to pass my day-long board and clinical exams.  To this day, I have no Idea how I did it.  Other than I prayed daily to make it through each day. 

I was twenty five when I graduated.  I went from-working 6pm to midnigh; going to school 8am-to-4pm;  graduating, giving birth; taking my state law-exam three days after giving birth-to staying at home for three months with a tiny, baby girl, born jaundiced and suffered from constant cholic.

I went from being constantly busy to staying at home all day! and knew nothing about being a MOM! I was not ready.  I had decided to have this child, because I had been married 4 years and thought it was time.  It was a mental thing. I didn't have that motherly instinct others feel. The whole pregnancy and mother thing was a SURPRISE! It definitely wasn't exactly as easy as everyone made it seem, or I thought it would be.  I will write about my pregnancy and mother-experience hopefully later in another hub.

Two days after my daughter was born my first husband drove us home.  Sadly that's when I found out he was addicted to drugs  (painkillers) as far as I knew at that time. Later-on I found out it was many other things.  My life spiralled into a new experience as a mom, and a new experience as a co-dependent and wife to an addict.  This was followed by many years of addiction/recovery meetings, rehab, denial and aggression from his family, and eventual separation and divorce.His life resulting in prison and deportation.  By the age of 30 I felt like I had lived a hundred years.  I had been through so much, I didn't think it was possible to go through any more--BUTT I HAVE.  I will also  hopefully make time later to write a hub in more detail about drug addiction.

 I lasted in the marriage almost ten years, with the mind-set that you don't get divorced, you just aren't supposed to.  I didn't want to be divorced like my parents.  Yet; when I finally did it, I felt liberated.  I felt free; a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders.   I didn't have to carry this other person and his issues on my shoulders anymore.  I also had the opportunity to do something I never did before.  I DATED!!

My parents were very strict so I had never had the chance to date, and no one had ever taught me how.  Like I said I met my husband at 17 years-old and later married him at 21.  I had never really dated.  Before that, it had all been teenage-flirting and such...not real dating.  Again, hopefully, I will write a hub about my dating experience, my mistakes; my second daughter; the lessons I learned, my second husband(true love I thought) my third husband(the same as the 2nd), My son(my miracle), and how I came to be the Crazy-mom-of 3.

When I was younger, before my experience with addiction I was shy and quiet.  I never talked to anyone about my problems, worrries or concerns.  I kept everything to myself.  I was physically, emotionally and verbally shy.  I did not like to be touchy or be touched.  After all the education, recovery and addiction classes; after giving birth three times; surviving dating, and exercising my faith and religious beliefs through it all...


Many of the things I write are gonna be brutally honest and prehaps outright embarrassing, but it is real. Life is real and I am living it.  Hopefully, perhaps someone else can learn something from mine, and be...somehow in someway inspired.

I have many things to write, but I am mom FIRSTt and FOREMOST so it will take some time.  Keep your  eyes on me. I do, apologize for mispellings and such. Time is short and precious, but I hope my messages come across.


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