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T. von Monocle profile image

T. von Monocle

Joined 6 years ago from The British Empire

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It is I, Toppington von Monocle.

If I may quote Catullus, "Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo".

In the interests of educating young men in how to pursue a young lady in a gentlemanly fashion, I have published a series of articles that gives tips, tricks and wise advice. The adventure used to start at Lesson One: Eight Best Places To Meet Girls but unfortunately the powers-that-be thought that it was crap and they've unpublished it. Not to worry, I'm trying to figure out ways to improve it so it meets the sites criteria, in the meantime be a good chap and jump straight to  Lesson Two: Six Never Fail Opening Lines and Six Always Fail Opening Lines

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  • Books, Literature, and Writing (11)
  • Education and Science (2)
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  • Liquors
    0

    Liquors

    5 years ago

    Whiskey, gin, and vodka are the most common liquors produced from grain. Whiskey is usually made from barley, oats, rye, corn, wheat,

  • Gaius Valerius Catullus
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    Gaius Valerius Catullus

    6 years ago

    Gaius Valerius Catullus (circa 84 B.C. to circa 54 B.C.) was a Roman poet, whose love lyrics served as models for later European poets. There is little certain knowledge of his life. According to ancient sources, he was...

  • What is Snuff?
    0

    What is Snuff?

    6 years ago

    Snuff is a pulverized form of tobacco that is either inhaled through the nose or chewed. It is made mainly from heavy-bodied grades of dark, fire-cured tobacco leaves and stems. The preparation may be moist or dry, the...

  • The Independent Order of Odd Fellows
    2

    The Independent Order of Odd Fellows

    6 years ago

    The Independent Order of Odd Fellows is a secret, fraternal society with a world membership of about 1,200,000. The general administration of its laws is designated by the generic term Odd Fellowship. The origin of the...

  • Rum
    1

    Rum

    2 months ago

    Rum is a name which has been, used loosely as a term for strong drink of any kind, pertains correctly only to alcoholic liquor made from sugarcane. This plant, of Asian origin, was brought to the West Indies in 1493 by...

  • Brandy
    1

    Brandy

    2 months ago

    Brandy is an alcoholic liquor distilled from wine or, in the case of the various fruit brandies, from fermented fruit juice. Fruit brandies are usually identified by the name of the fruit- for instance, apple brandy or...

  • History of Fencing
    0

    History of Fencing

    6 years ago

    The art of fencing assumed importance after the introduction of gunpowder in the 14th century. Since the medieval heavy armor could not withstand gunfire, it was discarded, and the sword became the standard weapon in...

  • Tobacco Pipes
    2

    Tobacco Pipes

    6 years ago

    Cigars, cigarettes, and tobacco pipes have formed but slightly varying aspects of one activity: that of smoking a fragrant herb, both for the comfort it affords and for the occupation it provides. And, one suspects,...

  • What is Hedonism?
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    What is Hedonism?

    6 years ago

    Hedonism is the philosophical view that pleasure is the ultimate good for man. It is also a psychological theory that pleasure motivates human actions. It is not an insult to be used at me by my father. According to...

  • Liqueurs
    0

    Liqueurs

    2 months ago

    A liqueur is a sweetened alcoholic drink that is flavored with fruit or herbs. Liqueurs, particularly those flavored with fruit, are also known as cordials. Liqueurs are pleasant to drink, and many of them have a...

  • Gin
    2

    Gin

    6 years ago

    My dear Aunt Beatrice was a fan of the old gin and tonic. She'd carry a hip flask of it with her wherever she went so she could suckle on it any chance she'd get. When I was a choir boy I'd see her belt down a slug...

  • Lesson Ten: Begging For A Second Date
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    Lesson Ten: Begging For A Second Date

    6 years ago

    The measure of your success as a pick-up artist is not whether you can get a girl to go out with you; it is whether you can get a girl to go out with you again. When a girl likes you, she will give you gifts and iron...

  • Lesson Nine: How To Get A Goodnight Kiss On The First Date
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    Lesson Nine: How To Get A Goodnight Kiss On The First Date

    6 years ago

    Getting a goodnight kiss on the first date is important. Because on the next date, you can skip the preliminaries and get right down to heavy fondling. But there is more to getting a kiss than just puckering up and...

  • Lesson Eight: How To Get Rid Of A Girl During Sex
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    Lesson Eight: How To Get Rid Of A Girl During Sex

    6 years ago

    What if you pick up a girl, are having your way with her, then lose interest? I know this sounds crazy, but it happens. Suppose you're just not compatible sexually. Suppose she turns you off. Suppose she won't make...

  • Lesson Seven: How To Get Rid Of A Girl After Sex
    0

    Lesson Seven: How To Get Rid Of A Girl After Sex

    6 years ago

    What if you pick up a girl, have your way with her, then lose interest? I know this sounds crazy, but it happens. Suppose you're just not compatible sexually. Suppose she turns you off. Suppose she wants to marry...

  • Lesson Six: Ten Things You Should Never Say On Your First Date
    1

    Lesson Six: Ten Things You Should Never Say On Your First Date

    6 years ago

    Suppose you have managed to pick up a girl. Here are 10 things you should never say to her on your first date, unless you also want it to be your last date. If you want it to be your last date, these are wonderful...

  • Lesson Five: What If The Girl Has A Boyfriend?
    0

    Lesson Five: What If The Girl Has A Boyfriend?

    6 years ago

    Sometimes when you are trying to pick up a girl, a bad thing happens. This bad thing is called a boyfriend. He may suddenly appear while you are laying some suave moves on the girl, or he may be waiting back at the...

  • Lesson Four: Where To Never Take A Girl Once You Have Picked Her Up
    1

    Lesson Four: Where To Never Take A Girl Once You Have Picked Her Up

    6 years ago

    Some guys are lucky. They drive big mobile homes outfitted with waterbeds and mirrored ceilings and hot tubs and wet bars. Where to take girls when they pick them up is usually no problem, unless the girl happens to be...

  • Lesson Three: Where To Take A Girl Once You Have Picked Her Up
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    Lesson Three: Where To Take A Girl Once You Have Picked Her Up

    6 years ago

    Life is very complicated. Once you have picked a girl up, you are still faced with the problem of where to take her. You may have ideas of your own of course, but I usually ask myself the Three Key Questions. 1. Am...

  • Lesson Two: Six Never Fail Opening Lines and Six Always Fail Opening Lines
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    Lesson Two: Six Never Fail Opening Lines and Six Always Fail Opening Lines

    6 years ago

    It is important when you are trying to pick up a girl to make a good first impression. You can do this by dressing neatly, brushing your teeth three times a day, and letting her know that you have the sexual tools of a...

  • Lesson One: Eight Best Places To Meet Girls
    0

    Lesson One: Eight Best Places To Meet Girls

    6 years ago

    If you want to pick up a girl, you have to go where girls are. Girls are everywhere. Just before you leave your house, lean out of the window and shout, "Don't move girls. Here I come!" 1. Look first in places...

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