The Magic Bullet Blender

This blender has no connection beyond the name to the magic bullet that cured syphilis, which was made into a movie in 1940 entitled: Dr. Erlich’s Magic Bullet. It starred Edward G. Robinson, Ruth Gordon and that famous gypsy, Maria Ouspenskaya. Nor is their any link to the silver bullets known to kill werewolves when they are foolish enough to look the other way. It is just an easy blender to operate, if not the easiest culinary gadget-makers have come up with so far. How does it work, you may ask. Well, here goes.

First of all, unlike other blenders, there are no buttons to press and no complicated manuals to read. You will, however, have to force yourself to make an operational decision or two. Simply place one of the “Bullet Cups” or “Party Mugs” as they are sometimes referred among secret revelers, on the high torque power base. Then press and viola! It is done; so sayeth ye.

Within the span of ten seconds, with no effort or cleanup you can create party dips like salsa and guacamole, frozen cocktails, pasta sauces and decadent desserts like creamy chocolate mousse or frosty milkshakes. (You might as well just slap them straight onto your thighs and buttocks. After all, that’s where they’re destined for anyway.)

The secret to the Magic Bullet’s time saving efficiency concerns something known as the “cyclonic cutting zone process.” The specially designed blade and unique bullet-shaped design automatically circulates food with so much force that any job can be performed in 10 seconds or less.

Mastering the two Magic Bullet Blender techniques are very simple. The Lock On Mode (hands free) is used to blend all kinds of foods until they achieve a smooth consistency. This technique works well with creamy dishes such as mousse, smoothies and frozen cocktails. The Pulsing Technique fares best with chunky dishes such as egg salad or guacamole. Pulsing does require one hand to tap down on the cup and the other to apply counter-clockwise pressure to the cup.

The Magic Bullet Blender marks an important concept in culinary preparation, namely the saving of labor and that elusive commodity referred to as time. This machine is so handy that is unlikely it will live anywhere else but on the kitchen counter where you can always get to it at a moment’s notice.

What more could anyone ask from a blender?