8 Ways You Can Encourage Your Child

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By Hope Wilbanks



Children need a lot of support and encouragement. As they grow, they develop their own thoughts and opinions. It is important to remember that as a parent, you should encourage and promote this individuality, not squash it.

The world is changing so fast that kids rarely have the opportunity to just be kids anymore. They face and deal with rising peer pressure from all over the place. Frustration and discouragement can set in quickly, if we as parents aren't watchful.

Here are a few ways you can encourage your child in any situation. Try these, then post a few of your own tips for encouragement in the comments below.

1. "Job well done!" So many times we give our children responsibilities, like chores, but forget to let them know when they've done a great job. Our children need to hear those words of encouragement, especially from their parents, when they've done a nice job.

2. "Thank you!" Just as they need to hear when they've done something good, kids also need to hear their parents say thanks, too. Hearing that positive reinforcement will make them proud of the good things they've done, and excited to do even more.

3. "I understand." All too often kids turn to their friends or peers with their problems. And even worse, many kids simply stuff their feelings and problems deep down inside and don't talk to anybody at all about what's bothering them. Sometimes a kid just needs a parent who is willing to listen and be understanding. Simple understanding provides the encouragement a child needs to learn how to problem-solve.

4. "I'm sorry." Believe it or not, apologizing to your child can be very encouraging. When your child can see you be willing to be humble enough to apologize for something you did wrong, they'll know that it's okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them.

5. "I was wrong." Despite what you might think, your children also need to know that you aren't right all the time. They need to know that adults don't have all the answers either, and that sometimes you do or say things that are wrong. When you're wrong, admit it.

6. "I love you." No matter how young or old your child is, they're never too old or young for you to tell them you love them. Give them a big bear hug and tell them how much you love and appreciate them. Then watch their whole attitude change right before your eyes. Your love will provide the encouragement they need in those crucial moments of sadness or discouragement.

7. "I'm always here for you." Something I tell my daughter often is that no matter how bad things are, or how terrible something is she's done, she can always come to me and talk to me about it. Your children need to know that you'll always be there for them, regardless. It provides encouragement for them to reach out to you, instead of lying or hiding things from you. It also lets them know that your love is deeper than anything else in this world.

8. "Let's have some fun!" Finally, one of the best ways to encourage your child is to get out with him/her and just have some fun. Ask what he/she wants to do. Let your child's imagination take charge and get out and have some fun together.


Comments

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Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
4 months ago

Communication is so important. Nice hub.

In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse  says:
4 months ago

I think that as we practice these simple statements on younger children, they will just be a part of how we come to raise teens. Good advice. Thank you.

Hope Wilbanks profile image

Hope Wilbanks  says:
4 months ago

Thanks Stacie! Glad you enjoyed it. :)

@In The Doghouse: I totally agree!

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove  says:
4 months ago

I'd like to add "Listen to your child."  One of the greatest kinds of encouragement a child, or anyone for that matter, can have is the respect of being listened to. And that's not as easy as it sounds. "Active listening" is a place to start, and there are many resources in the library and on the Internet to help guide the way.

Well done, Hope.

Hope Wilbanks profile image

Hope Wilbanks  says:
4 months ago

So very true, Sally! Thanks!

monitor profile image

monitor  says:
4 months ago

In reading your article I began to think, "this is so simple" yet if it is so simple why is it that so few people seem to be activley employing these encouragments. Well said hope, I for one will be paying much more attention to encouaring children from this day on.

mon.

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove  says:
4 months ago

Just a comment, monitor...people don't employ these encouragements, because these encouragements were never given to them as children, and because, whether we like it or not, for too many people, it is "me" first. All of the ways to encourage your child that Hope lays out require that the adult places the child before the adult and not the other way around.

Hope Wilbanks profile image

Hope Wilbanks  says:
4 months ago

@monitor: Thanks! I agree with you. I think we get so busy these days that we forget about the "simple" things. :)

@Sally: So true! And again, I think we need to just slow down and think about our kids sometimes and put everything else on the back burner.

I've noticed that when I deny my kids attention (while I'm writing and working), they nag at me A LOT. But when I step away from the computer and give them just 10-15-30 minutes of my undivided attention, they quickly grow tired of me. :) It's not always in what you can buy or give them, but in them knowing that you are there for them. Sometimes just spending a few mintues with them, talking with them, encourages them more than anything else.

mrs know it all profile image

mrs know it all  says:
4 months ago

Another good one, Hope, and another way I see how our values are in line. I couldn't agree more, with you and comments from monitor and sally - the psychological health of our children is something our parents just weren't aware of. It is so difficult to work against what we know, and takes a great deal of patience and strength. I work hard at this every day, some days better than others, as it sounds like you do, too. That "I'm sorry" and "I was wrong" is so important on those not-so-good days (I'm having one today!) ha. ;)

I don't want to be obnoxious and keep plugging my site, but it seems appropriate on this one: if you have time, check out my site tomorrow (http://onestopmommyshop.com) as we will be doing an activity called "stop and listen" that is greatly related to what we are talking about.

You are quickly becoming one of my favorites here.

Hope Wilbanks profile image

Hope Wilbanks  says:
4 months ago

I'll try to make time to check out your site this evening. Thanks!

stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68  says:
4 months ago

I love this Hub, Hope! So true, everything you said. I'm a Mom of 4 and I can keep this as a good reminder. Thumbs up.

Hope Wilbanks profile image

Hope Wilbanks  says:
4 months ago

Thanks, stephhicks68! Glad you enjoyed. :)

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