Julie DeNeen Interviews CarlySullens
How a resilient art therapist, mother, and advocate turns lemons into lemonade
I notice you write about some difficult topics like adoptive reunions, abuse, c-sections, etc. How have those Hubs been received and what do you hope to communicate with your writing?
People search for and need information on life’s difficulties just as much as they need a recipe for a chicken casserole. I write on these topics because I am a clinician, specifically an art therapist, and am privileged daily to be a witness to the resiliency and beauty of the human experience growing from tragedy.
It is normal for society and people to push away that which makes them uncomfortable. However, it is just as important for people to be given words and resources, like an informative Hub, when something tragic happens. This acknowledgement promotes compassionate understanding. Once the tragedy is named and understood and the feeling you are not alone is experienced, most people begin to feel lighter and brighter. Abuse, birth trauma, death, grief, loss, difficult relationships, traumatic adoption experiences, and reunions happen. My top ten Hubs cover subjects on grief and loss, complicated emotions in adoption reunions, trauma, difficult relationships, and treating head lice. My most popular Hub,
What To Write In A Sympathy Card: An Inside Look On Words of Comfort, receives over 150 page views a day.
I loved your Hub on Head Lice. You took a topic that can be humiliating and made it fun and even a bit humorous. Explain to me the process writing that Hub and how Emma benefited from being involved.
I get a call from the school one day notifying me to pick up my 7-year-old daughter because she has head lice. Knowing my daughter is terrified of bugs; I wondered on the way to the school how I could make this treatment process less scary for her. While I was going through ideas in my head, I thought, since I have to deal with this I might as well write a Hub. After doing tons of research on how to treat head lice, I learned the current toxic treatments are no longer affective on lice because they have build a resistance to the toxic chemicals. Furthermore, the chemicals in lice products are extremely dangerous and banned in most countries. I read many different web pages trying to understand lice, how to treat lice and how to prevent lice.
I realized as a parent and Hub writer, how much I appreciate the caliber of Hubs providing in-depth information when you are dependent on it. I wanted to create a high quality Hub on how to treat head lice, offering all the information a parent would need so they do not have to spend hours scouring the Internet.
My daughter loves being animated and so I suggested we make a video to help out other girls and boys who will have to deal with this too. Although I was not aware of it then, this process helped her become detached from her own fright of lice. Instead of, we are treating Emma’s head lice, it became we are treating head lice that just so happened to be in Emma’s head. This removed some of the stigma, fear, and resistance I expected and transformed the ordeal into a fun and powerful bonding experience. What most people do not know, is that I edited well over an hour of video footage of Emma talking about the process of treating head lice.
Can you explain your journey into writing? Was this something you always enjoyed doing?
Unlike most HupPages authors, I grew up hating the writing process.
I have a learning disability. English was not my favorite subject. I would almost fail spelling every year. Reading was a chore. I would be tutored in the summers and this created an even more hatred for English as it took my free time away. My self-esteem tanked because of reading and writing.
I am a natural artist and visual learner. Art was my escape and oasis. Art was my language. When I was about to graduate from high school, I didn't know if I wanted to be a therapist or artist. Then someone showed me a news article on art therapy. I knew at 18 what I was going to be, and never regretted my decision. I was accepted into a local state college that had a rare undergraduate Art Therapy program. At that time there was only two in the country.
To be an art therapist, you need to get your master's degree. I knew my dream was very competitive and I had to work extremely hard. I learned to really apply myself to read and write from Jungian psychology, Joseph Campbell's work, and art history. Finally, words were no longer letters of struggle for me; instead they began to be symbols of valuable information. Although it took me twice as long to write a paper or finish required reading for a class, I was learning and striving. I savored the knowledge that was coming from my books.
In the middle of grad school I was in a fatal car accident. I almost died and broke most of the bones on the left side of my body. It took me two years to learn how to walk again.
Once I recovered, I needed to go back to finish my master's degree so I could fulfill my dream of being an art therapist. I was suffering from physical pain and posttraumatic stress. In my final year and I had to write my master’s thesis. So I wrote my thesis on trauma and art therapy.
It was through my research, reading, and writing I realized I was healing myself through knowledge. When my thesis was completed I was in a much better state of mind, not as fearful of driving or having PTSD symptoms.
Though at first my nemeses, words became my healing medicine.
When you aren't writing, what takes up most of your time?
I am blessed to have a full life. I do not know what boredom is anymore.
I work part time as an art therapist with adults who are suffering from mental illness, addiction or both.
I also have a husband, two kittens a dog and two amazing children, Emma age 7 and Corey age 10.
I am constantly making art in some way.
I also spend a good majority of my time being an advocate and spokesperson with you, Julie, helping others understand complicated adoption reunions (for those who do not know, Julie and I have co-created a blog, forum and website about Genetic Sexual Attraction or GSA). GSA is a very real complicated phenomenon that happens when two family members are separated during their developmental informative years and reunite in adulthood.
When these ‘strangers’ finally meet, their brain does not register a family member, they register a stranger that has a title of ‘brother, sister, mother or father.’ As a result, sometimes, unexpected appealing desires, an attraction to a kin member that is involuntary and becomes overwhelming with intimacy initiates GSA. I continue to write about and be a spokesperson for this very taboo and most often traumatic experience. I believe if people are educated about GSA before they reunite and supported through the adoption reunion process, then the tragedy of GSA destroying family bonds, which frequently happens, can be eliminated.
What is the one thing you've taken away (so far) about writing for the Internet? What has been easy and most difficult?
There is a sense of pride and community when writing on the Internet. The HubPages community has been a great place to develop as a novice writer. I feel empowered by my fellow Hubbers as well as challenged in a positive way. What has been most difficult is finding the time to read and comment on others' Hubs. What has been easy is being accepted as a writer when I never identified myself as one. Because of HubPages, I can proudly say I am a writer!
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