10 Good Reasons to Have a Gorilla as a Pet

Feast your eyes on the majestic gorilla
Feast your eyes on the majestic gorilla

DON'T JUDGE ME FOR LOVING GORILLAS

I am an animal-lover. With the exceptions of dangerous animals with no feelings for human beings, I love them all. Dogs, cats, ponies, rhinos, lions and even the majestic gorilla. I am not writing this to confess some hidden-shame at my admiration for gorillas, it is just a matter of how God made them so powerful and yet so deep in their thinking in calculating of the ways of life that escape us mortals.

I love the expressions on their faces when they are sitting in the sun dwelling on whatever gorilla's dwell on and the way the males exhibit their dominance over the gorillas in their band and when their show of power is over, the dominant gorilla instantly returns to his deep thinking. Amazing is the best adjective I can use in describing gorillas.

In times past, I have begged my wife to let me buy a baby gorilla, tame it, and name him, "Archie," so he and I could be best friends and he could accompany me wherever I went. This was in the time I was healthy and able to work. But, with my wife being the more-sensible of the two of us, I gave up on my wanting a gorilla for a pet. So much for my wanting to not be a part of the crowd.

What a time!

Gorillas are thinking animals.
Gorillas are thinking animals.

A Bit About Gorillas

  • Gorillas constitute the eponymous genus Gorilla, the largest extant genus of primates by physical size. They are ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous apes that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The genus is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of a human, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees (including bonobos).
  • Gorillas' natural habitats cover tropical or subtropical forests in Africa. Although their range covers a small percentage of Africa, gorillas cover a wide range of elevations. The mountain gorilla inhabits the Albertine Rift montane cloud forests of the Virunga Volcanoes, ranging in altitude from 2,200–4,300 metres (7,200–14,100 ft). Lowland gorillas live in dense forests and lowland swamps and marshes as low as sea level, with western lowland gorillas living in Central West African countries and eastern lowland gorillas living in the Democratic Republic of the Congo near its border with Rwanda.

Source: Wikipedia

"Can I come home with you and be your pet?"

Gorilla Monsoon, legendary professional wrestler and former announcer for WWE
Gorilla Monsoon, legendary professional wrestler and former announcer for WWE

NOW FOR THE "MEAT" OF THE STORY

Simply put. I do not like the feeling of not getting the last word in a marital discussion and little does my wife realize that I am doing this piece not to get even with her, but to prove that “I” did have a legitimate argument for wanting a gorilla as a pet.

The title of this hub is lovingly-named:

10 Good Reasons to Have a Gorilla as a Pet

10.) NO WORRIES ABOUT BULLIES – when you have a gorilla as a pet for what self-respecting bully would dare tangle with any gorilla?

9.) A LEARNING EXPERIENCE—is what you get when you and a gorilla are close friends. Just ask Jane Goodall, who spent years living and studying gorillas. Her best-selling book, “Gorillas in The Mist,” revealed so much of what I am writing about. Gorillas are not only very powerful, but as interesting as the most-intelligent human being, according to Goodall.

8.) GORILLAS EAT SO MUCH – that you can lose weight so much easier. Now that idea comes with a price. Have you priced how expensive 300 pounds of fresh meat costs per day? I confess. I had much keep my weight than try to scrape-up that much cash.

7.) GORILLAS ARE GOOD TEACHERS—in the area of self-defense. What I mean to say is that if you and a gorilla become best friends, he will surely be grateful enough for his food and home that he will be glad to teach you how to defend yourself.

6.) AT HALLOWEEN – what better way to scare the life out of your practical-joking pals than have “Archie” to stand behind your shrubbery and when your joker friends approach your front door to get free treats plus pull a joke on you, have “Archie” to growl and walk out from behind the shrubbery? Nuff said.

5.) GORILLAS MAKE GREAT – conversation pieces. Imagine that one Sunday your pastor and his wife are to have lunch with you. He is new to your church and does not have a lot to say to you for he is not well-acquainted with you and your family. Upon arriving at your home, he is startled by “Archie” who is asleep in your front yard in is hammock. This new pastor will not have the willpower to not ask you, “Brother Ken, what is that gorilla doing in your front yard?” Of course, to make him comfortable, I will reply, “He appears to be napping,” and the pastor will relax and have a good time.

4.) GORILLAS ARE NOT—as aggressive as once thought. So when your young nieces, nephews and cousins visit your home, they will not pose a threat to “Archie,” who has been raised very gentle from a baby and he should get a thrill from playing with these young kids.

3.) GORILLAS MAKE GOOD—vehicles to make quick-friends with neighbors who have just moved into your neighborhood. The most-civil neighbor, like the new pastor, cannot resist asking, “Mister, may I ask what that beautiful gorilla is doing in your front yard?” And yes, I will reply with a snappy-quip, “He appears to be doing some weed-eating,” and I have made a new neighbor and friend.

2.) NO ROAD-RAGE—when you own a gorilla. Think of it. When you and the wife go on a Saturday outing and run into a traffic-jam up ahead caused by some lazy jerks who think they own the road, just take the gorilla with you and walk up to their car and ask, “My friend, ‘Archie,’ and me wonder if you could just move so we can get through?” Then watch the cars part like Moses and The Red Sea.

1.) GORILLAS DO NOT— start useless arguments or act superior to humans, so that in itself makes the perfect reason for having a gorilla as a pet.

QUESTION: does any of my nice followers have an extra $200,000.00 laying around that I can borrow for the cost of “Archie,” his food and clothing for one year?

I promise to pay you back.

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Comments 14 comments

PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 23 months ago from Florida

Hi,

Happy New Year, and I do not want one for a pet. Thanks for supporting my writing since we began on HubPages.

I hope we will have a great year in 2015 on HubPages for all.

Thanks,

Your Friend,

Bobbi Purvis


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 23 months ago from Planet Earth

Hi, Kenneth - I'm not sure my Homeowners' Association has a "Gorillas are Okay" clause, but I will check.

Nope - I don't think they allow it. They do appeal to me slightly more than tarantulas do (but tarantulas are WAY far down on the list).


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 23 months ago from Planet Earth

Rats - my fingers got away from me! I'm just foolin' with you - a really dear friend of mine (also a dear coworker) loved gorillas - he had all sorts of pictures and stuffed animals. So they have a sweet place in my heart, too!


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 23 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Never thought about having a gorilla. Four kids cost about the same to feed and are just as scary.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 23 months ago from Queensland Australia

I would love a gorilla Kenneth. Watch the movie "Gorillas in the Mist " with Sigourney Weaver. I have a small stuffed gorilla with boxing gloves somewhere..but we live on a 40 acre property so I'm sure there is plenty of room to have a gorilla or two. Am I mistaken or is this the second hub you have written about wanting a pet gorilla? I seem to remember one from a year or two back. Voted up...it was fun.


bibliopola profile image

bibliopola 23 months ago from Istanbul

Why not? I watched a documentary of Dian Fossey and liked it very much. I would like to go to Ruanda one day too. Seeng Gorillas in their natural habitat would be great.

Happy new year.


DeborahNeyens profile image

DeborahNeyens 23 months ago from Iowa

Love this! I used to live within walking distance of the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago, and I often found myself at the gorilla house. I think I had a crush on one of them.


sachin001 profile image

sachin001 23 months ago from India

This is just awesome, I never ever thought of this or whether any can keep a gorilla as a pet. Really loved reading the hub.


peachpurple profile image

peachpurple 23 months ago from Home Sweet Home

you sure are funny, i doubt the zoo would let you have one gorilla


clivewilliams profile image

clivewilliams 23 months ago from Nibiru

i have a gorilla..................but his stuffing came out a year ago and i have not put them back in..................lol


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 23 months ago from Victoria, Australia

Funny! But I'm wondering - did you manage to get in that last word?


vkwok profile image

vkwok 23 months ago from Hawaii

I'm more of a puppy person myself.


Brite-Ideas profile image

Brite-Ideas 23 months ago from Toronto, Canada

lmao! Done. I want one too now. Instead of riding a bike or driving my car, I can just hop on it's shoulders and it can swing from tree to tree to get me to the store! I like it.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 23 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Brite-Ideas,

Brilliant ideas you have about owning a gorilla. Well, I need not use the word "own," but mentor. And the gorilla would love having you sit on his or her shoulders and carry you from tree to tree to the mall or grocery store.

And talk about a sight! I say go for it.

vkwok,

Puppies are very nice also. Which animal makes you happy. Thanks for your input.

BlossomSB,

Wonder no more. No, I did not. Thanks a bunch for your comments. I appreciate you a lot.

clivewilliams,

Hi. And you got me good. Your first phrase, "I own a gorilla," got me quickly. I believed it was a live gorilla. Then I read the rest of your comment which I appreciate.

Peachpurple,

You are correct. I could not do with just one gorilla to "mentor." I would need three and form a real "Nairobi Trio," made famous by comic legend, Ernie Kovaks. Thanks so much for stopping by.

Hello, sachin001,

It is a tough choice whether or not to mentor a gorilla, but if one has the means--food, housing, etc., why not? I appreciate your visit.

Deborah Neyens,

By your comment of thinking you had a crush on a gorilla, that means you are a gorilla fan like me. Woooeee! What a blessing to meet another gorilla fan. Thank you for your special comment.

Bibiliopola,

Thank you for the nice visit to my "Gorilla Kingdom." Gorillas are extremely-intelligent and fun to watch. Thanks for visiting with me and have a Great New Year.

Hi, Jodah,

You have me over a barrel. I do not remember the first gorilla hub. But I will check my back files as soon as I can. Thanks, dear friend for the comment and visit.

I LOVE YOU ALL AND WISH YOU ALL A GREAT NEW YEAR.

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