10 Reasons Cats Love Us More Than Dogs
As promised, if somewhat belatedly, the time has come for a little hub about cats. It seems that hubpages teems with dog lovers, and, while there have been a smattering of cat comments along the way, it became clear that cats are simply not well represented here. In the name of fairness, I thought a cat hub should be done.
Many people assume that, because dogs are so warm and affectionate and display intelligence of a man-like variety, they must love their owners more thoroughly and genuinely than cats do. Many suggest that cats are aloof and that they only marginally bond with their owners, if at all. It is often asserted that any affection displayed by a cat is instinctual pride-like behavior and that such "affection" is rooted to food drives and nothing more. Well, I for one, being dispassionate about the subject, can approach this issue with my typical analytical distance and scientific objectivity, which I did already, before sitting down to write this, so here is what I found:
Cat's love their owners much more than dogs are even remotely capable of doing, and they show it all the time. The simple truth is, cat's love is so enormous people don't even realize just how vast it is. It's like trying to look at a huge mural on a wall while standing with your nose pressed against the paint. You have to stand back to see. I, however, with my extreme pedantry and universe encompassing didacticism, have discovered what many have not: the ten reasons why a cat's love is better than a dog's.
You'll notice you need one of these for a dog, but no such thing for a cat.
1. Display of Affection
No animal is more affectionate than a cat. Many dog lovers don't appreciate the kind of affection that cats give because, well, they are dog owners and therefore require that their pets slather them in buckets of frothy goo as a display of love.
Cat's on the other hand show their affection in so many other ways. The first and most obvious is the willingness to use the catbox, which I have discussed before in another hub, so I won't belabor it here. Simply put, the outright readiness to make their owner's life more bearable by making their... deposits... in a box is evidence of their love.
On the other hand, dog owners have to force their dogs stop doing their business everywhere with all kinds of troublesome training tricks. House training a dog is an endless, horrifying chore that can take months and even years to finally figure out, involving newspaper and expensive pet crates and sometimes even electric collars to shock poor poochy when he poops. But not cats. They love us and will go make doo-doo in the sand.
- - The moment you walk inside... WHAM! --
"Here kitty, kitty. Come on. Come on, kitty, come to mommy snookie wooky..."
2. Cat’s Give Us Our Space
Unlike a dog, who will run at you and ram his muzzle into your crotch like you're wearing Alpo underwear the moment you walk through the door, a cat loves you enough to let you have your space.
Cats understand how important your personal time is. And while many think cats are fickle and cold because they ignore you and won't come to you no matter how much you call or coo at them in that cute baby voice while waggling their favorite toy and trying to get their attention so you can play with them finally after your long hard day... they are not actually ignoring you at all. What's really happening is that your cat is so smart it actually understands when you need some personal time, even when you don't think you do. Especially then. You only THINK you want to play with your kitty right now, but the truth is that you don't. Kitty is blowing you off out of love. Cats have this special chemical scent gland thing that enables them to detect your too-much-companionship-already threshold and so they ignore you no matter how much you wish they would come snuggle in your lap. Be thankful and recognize what kitty does for you.
3. Cats Are Fun to Bathe
Bathing a cat is very simple. A few licks and it's done. Granted, if you have an outdoor cat the cockleburs and the ticks are a problem, but, beyond a few tongue abrasions and the occasional lyme disease, giving a cat a bath is easy and a great way to bond with your pet. Bathing dogs is nowhere near as easy. First off, dog fur tastes really bad (this will be discussed more thoroughly in item number six), so you have to put them in a tub or use a hose, which they enjoy. It is this enjoyment that is the problem.
Dogs are entirely too spastic to be allowed that much water in proximity to human beings, and the inevitable outcome is that the bather is completely soaked by the bathee by the time the project is complete. This romping deluge is very annoying and proves that a cat's love is definitely greater than a dog's simply out of thoughtfulness and respect. Cats will never get you wet. In fact, they love you so much they won't let you get them anywhere near a tub or a garden hose. Try it sometime and you will see how hard your cat fights to protect its love for your staying dry. Cats let you keep it simple, no water required, and you can even bathe them while watching TV. Who needs popcorn when you've got kitty sitting there?
4. Cats Love You Enough to Eat Mice
Admit it, even you don't love yourself enough to do that. In fact, you don't love anyone that much, do you? I know I don't.
Now, it could be argued that dogs would eat mice for you if they could, but the truth is, they don't. They're either too busy eating the newspaper or your shoe to bother with mice, or else they're just too impatient to stalk mice successfully. Maybe they're just too slow, who knows. But a cat will eat mice for you to show you the nature of its love. Not only will it eat mice for you, it will eviscerate them horribly and spread some of their twisting little mouse guts all over the house in a display of love that anyone can appreciate. God knows how much I love finding a token of my cat's adoration when I'm walking around barefoot in the night. That is just love right there.
5. Cats Love You Enough to Prevent Injury
Speaking of barefoot in the night, that's another way to know how much your cat really loves you. See, a dog might love you enough to bark if there's a robber in your house, but that's about all a dog will do. Sure, it's very nice that Rover cares about your life and property, but he doesn't care about the little things. True love is in the details.
See, people think that cats throw up all the time because they have disgusting hairballs that choke them up and make them hork. But that's not why at all. They puke all over the carpet because they love you and are concerned about your health. Why, when you wake up in the middle of the night and make your way in the darkness towards the bathroom, you could easily trip and hurt yourself in the delirium of being parted from your dreams. But you don't because dear kitty has left a nice wad of vomit to snap you entirely awake.
-- Thoughtfulness in action --
Some cats prefer to leave you a nice fresh one, all warm and steamy oozing between your toes. Other cats go for the time-released cold goo and choose to puke long before you wake up - think how much planning that requires. Either way, the feel of that thoughtful little gob mooshing against your feet is just another way to be sure that your cat loves you very much and wants to prevent you from bumping into something in the night. Love of that magnitude cannot be easily dismissed.
6. Cats Love You and Want You to Be Fashionable
Everyone knows that cats are very cool. They are. You've heard the expressions "Cool Cat" and "Catlike Grace" a zillion times. But nobody ever says, "Cool Dog" or "Doglike Dignity." I mean, if someone tells you that you have doglike dignity, well, it's not a compliment, that's all I'm saying. Maybe take the lampshade off your head. But cats are cool. And they don't want the people they love to be uncool so they try to help us out. Particularly in the area of fashion.
Unfortunately cats can't speak human languages so they have no way to tell us that our clothing choices look like crap. But they can communicate in their way, which is why they shed all over the furniture. All that fur stuck to your butt and all down the backs of your nice black pants is really a feline way of saying, "Darling, please, that outfit is awful. Go upstairs and try again."
Now I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "Hey, my dog sheds too. Maybe he loves me after all."
Nope, you're wrong. I mean, he might love you, but he ain't showing you by shedding all that nasty hair. Dogs shed because they like to roll in disgusting stuff like dead animals and garbage heaps. Dogs shed because they get tired of how revolting their coat smells after a while and figure if they dump it on the couch eventually you'll vacuum all that stuff up. And they're right, you do, so, who's doling out the love now? So, while you can see how easy it might be to believe your dog is trying to help you out, he isn't. It's true that both animals shed, but only a cat is doing it out of love.
7. Cats Help You Keep Your Home Décor Looking Fresh
This is another area where people easily confuse dog actions with those of cats. You see, cats destroy your furniture for much the same reason they shed the fur that gets on your clothes. The reason old Pussycat pops out his claws and frappes your upholstery is not because he is a horribly un-trainable monster in need of a swift kick. No. It's because he, being a suave and dignified animal of grace, has realized well before you have that some particular piece of furniture has gone fashionably out of date. Even if it is brand new - in fact, particularly if it is brand new - cats will share their aesthetic expertise with you and show you their opinion with their sharply critical claws. Your cat knows that you will hold onto that sofa for several years to come, no matter how much contemporary style has changed, and so he makes the sacrifice of incurring your wrath by ripping that terrible thing up until it becomes too embarrassing for you to keep. Think about how much this cat loves you if he is willing to risk being tossed outside or squirted with your little water bottle just to keep you from looking foolish to your guests. How much more devotion do you deserve?
8. Your Cat Loves You Enough to Endure Your Monster Children
That's right, as if the last seven items were not enough, he does. Your kids are so mean to that poor bastard. He gets his tail pulled, his face mashed, his fur twisted, and he gets kicked and stepped on all the time. They tie noisy plastic bags to his tail and they put scotch tape on his paws. His ears get poked, his coat gets rubbed against the grain, and how hard do your kids laugh when they catch him drinking out of the toilet all the time? How humiliating for him. Poor kitty is thirsty and doesn't want that two day old water that you left him lukewarm in the kitchen in his bowl, and what does he get for taking a little initiative and getting some that's fresh? Mockery. That's what he gets. He is laughed at for making accommodations for someone else's laziness.
Now, again, it may be that some dog people out there are saying, "Well, my dog drinks out of the toilet too, and my kids laugh at him all the time." And, yes, again technically you are right. But you see, dogs drink out of the toilet for the same reason they roll in the dead animals they find. Because dogs are gross. They drink out of the toilet for the same reason your kids always laugh. Because it's funny. And it IS funny, but it is not a display of canine love. That's my point.
9. Your Cat Loves you Enough to Purr
That's right, they do. What's more pleasant than a nice soft kitty purring in your lap, its little belly rising and falling with the sweet subtle sound of contented love? I'll tell you, there's not much. I mean, there's stuff that's nicer to have in your lap, particularly for us men, but, this is not the hub to go into that, so we'll leave it at purring being very nice. But what does your dog do? Pant and loll his tongue over your leg like a limp slice of warm wet ham? Yeah, that's nice. And could Fido get a tic-tac over here? What the hell did he just eat?
10 Your Cat Loves You Enough to Show You The Way Philosophically
That's right, you heard it, they do. I took a metaphysics class once and in it we discussed the nature of free will. It's complicated so I won't go into it here, but as part of it the issue of cats and dogs came up. The point was mainly one of intelligence, and it was determined (by the more numerous and vocal dog people) that dogs have intelligence while cats have only instinct to guide their ways. The dog people concluded, therefore, that dogs have free will and cats do not. However, in a stroke of genius, the professor (a cat person) quoted some philosopher who said on that regard, "While dogs may have free will, cats actually use it." So, whether or not they "have" it, cats live it. How's that for philosophy?
Raphael originally painted the "School of CAThens" but dog owners were a powerful lobby and so they made him repaint this work.
So, cats win. And it is in this way that cats once again prove their love by choosing through their free will to continue living with us despite our not appreciating how clever and profound their love really is; they know we are standing too close to the painting to see. But they don't judge us. They teach us through their actions and through application of philosophy. The facts are obvious and glaring for anyone willing to look at them and see. Again, I hope that dog people will understand I mean no slight to their happy, boisterous pets. It's just that justice needed to be done for all those kitties out there who get a bad rap. Their massive intelligence is simply too profound and under-the-radar for most pet owners to realize.
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