Daily Weird #24 The cross-eyed opossum

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An opossum is an opossum, is an opossum. Unless it’s a cross-eyed opossum, then it’s a star!

Heidi the cross-eyed opossum lives at the Leipzig Zoo in Germany. Heidi has a facebook page, YouTube videos, and a following that would make Dave Barry jealous. Why? Because she’s fat, and she’s cross eyed. If only I had known.

I have a lot in common with Heidi. Heidi is originally from North Carolina. I used to live in North Carolina. Heidi is overweight and currently on a diet. Hey, me too! Heidi is little. I’m short! Heidi is cross-eyed. I can cross my eyes.

I’m not going to say I’m jealous of Heidi, but with around 150,000 friends on facebook alone…. Ok, I’m jealous. I’d like to see her keep up a “poking” contest with them all, though! “Make sure and wish all your “friends” happy birthday, Heidi. Oh, and don’t forget to send them all stuff for Mafia Wars and their dang ol’ farms!”

Good luck with that.

So, Heidi is a star. She has traveled across the Atlantic Ocean, from a place where the people add extra syllables to their words, to a place where they take syllables off of their words, and clear their throats every time they speak. I’m sure it’s been tough on the girl. No wonder she’s gained weight. She’s stress eating.

Opossums, like women over 40, have almost zero chance of losing weight. Unlike women over 40, however, opossums that are overweight tend to go cross-eyed and have people fawn over them. Also unlike women over 40, opossums rarely reach the age of 4. I guess I can give Heidi some slack. She’s around 2 now; she’ll most likely die soon.

Heidi is also a member of an elite group. At least, she was a member of an elite group over here in North America. Heidi is a marsupial. That means she’s from Mars, and has an ail that stands straight up. Ok, it doesn’t mean that, but how cool would that be? No, I don't know what an "ail" is, I'm assuming it's how they say "tail" in Martian.

Opossums are the only marsupials here in North America. The only ones. We don’t have any others. My question is this. If opossums are the last of the marsupials, why do we keep squishing them on the highway? Shouldn’t we at least give them the same courtesy as deer, and put up a crossing sign? The sign would read, "Roadkill, next two miles".

Heidi is cute. There’s no denying it. The person who runs her over in the road one day will be very sad.

Good luck Heidi, seriously, you're going to need it.

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Comments 29 comments

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Funny stuff!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Will- Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment! I'm actually on my way over to your hubs!! See you there!


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

When Heidi gets on the cover of Vogue,then I'll have to friend the cutie on Facebook.;)


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

The opossum is kind of cute and probably can only see out of one eye.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

@Mentalist- Vogue actually contacted her, but they wanted her to show a little more fur than she was comfortable with.

@Pamela- you're just trying to make me feel better about her fame, aren't you. You are so kind. :)


Pcunix profile image

Pcunix 5 years ago from SE MA

The poor thing looks terribly confused. I can empathize.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

You are def on a roll, Sue-girl. This was all very cute - funny, too.

Loved your comparison to Heidi. You mean you have little pointed black furry ears, too? Wow!

And I know exactly why her eyes got crossed. It's from stress! Really! She got stressed trying to figure out what 'rot arn' in North Carolina-ese really means. :)

And thanks for the video - made my day.


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

Facebook friends are not "real" friends, are they now, and seriously, you'd be happy with people checking you out because you are fat and cross-eyed.

(If that were the case, I'd be an unstoppable babe magnet...)

And the Germans have seriously questionable taste, they believe David Hasselhof is a rock star...


DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA

Sue,

Laughed a bunch over this one and realized we are both Carolina girls...me South, you North! I should have known!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA

Howdy Sueroy - Love that possum. Wouldn't want to waste it on any possum stew. Eyes are way too cool to cook the thing.

Gus :-)))


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

@Punix- I can picture you empathizing. lol! I'm pretty sure Reilly is cross-eyed as well!

@Drbj- You are not only wise, but apparently a psychic; I do, indeed have pointed black ears. They aren't furry, but I keep hoping.

Nice "accent writing", I lived in North Carolina long enough to know you are right on the money! Thanks for the laugh- and the lesson in writing southern!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

@Chris- you never fail to leave me laughing! You should work on that babe-magnet thing, eat a few more pizza's and keep your eyes crossed, you may be on to something!

Just saying "David Hasselhof" leaves me in stitches! I'm still laughing- and it's an hour later!

@Diy- thank you so much for stopping by! The Carolina's rock! I knew there was a reason I liked you!! :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Gus- I'm pleased to know you didn't look at Heidi and see "Lunch" across her forehead! If you like, I can find an ugly possum to cook up and send your way!


Esmeowl12 profile image

Esmeowl12 5 years ago from Sevierville, TN

LOVED IT! Made my day. Thanks.


amanda_rose profile image

amanda_rose 5 years ago from NewJersey

hahahaa awww


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

Hahaha, the things that become famous over night, makes you wonder what you did wrong. :P


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

@Esmeowl- Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and read, and comment! You made my day right back!

@Amanda- yeah, it kind of does make you laugh and coo at the same time! Thanks so much for stopping by and laughing with us!

@Qudsia- You hit the nail on the head! I'm so jealous I could spit! I've been overweight and slightly cross-eyed for a while now, and NOTHING! It's totally not fair! :)


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK

Hilarious and yet strangely a commentary on modern times where a cross eyed opossum can still bring out the weirdness-seeking humanity.

They queued to see the 'elephant-man' now they are flocking on facebook for the corr-eyed opossum.

Love your work- its laugh out loud funny!

'I'm fixin' to go in a minute, 'cos they be actin' silly, them yonder NC opossum lovahs...' did I get it right?


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Docmo, shoog, you shur'nuff did. :)

I thanks ya fer yer mighty kind comments, and yep, this here world shur is crazy!


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 5 years ago from Nashville, TN

Great one 333. You never disappoint.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Thanks Stan, that means a lot coming from you! :)


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

I love this story. Thanks for share with us. Good work, my friend. God bless you. Take care!

Prasetio


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Prasetio- you have a way of commenting that always makes me smile. Thank you for your kind words!

I'm on my way to your hubs here in a bit, I'm behind in reading.. and I always love the way you find the most beautiful and uplifting things to write about!!


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

Thanks for the smiles! Polly


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Pollyannalana- thanks for coming by and leaving a comment! I love your name. I said it out-loud three times, just because it's fun!


Silver Poet profile image

Silver Poet 5 years ago from the computer of a midwestern American writer

Anyone who has ever kept chickens will resent opossums. If one ever opens a mouthful of fangs at you, you'll see what I mean!

Humorous hub. :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Silver Poet- there's an angle I hadn't considered. The cuteness is disguising a deadly villain. Sneaky little opossum!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I love Dave Barry! Ha! The opposum is awfully cute too - so I don't feel bad that he has 140,095 more friends than me:)

Hi sueroy and Chelsea!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 4 years ago from Indiana Author

I do. I'm incredibly jealous. Seriously.

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