Letting Your Pet Go

Cinnamon Loved the Snow

The deeper the snow, the better.
The deeper the snow, the better. | Source

A Personal Account

I know I am in good and grand company with this topic. Everyone who has to face the decision to let a pet go endures emotional pain. If some say they don’t, then they are probably just putting on a brave face. I wonder who has gathered statistics about the numbers of pet owners in the US, in other countries, in the world, who face this decision daily, weekly, monthly, yearly? Are there hundreds per day, thousands per week, tens of thousands per month, millions per year?

I have been blessed with cats and a dog who enjoyed a good life with me, lived to relatively old ages, but who also came to a point where I had to decide their ultimate fates. Just me, not the vet, not my child, not my friends, not my relatives. Just me.

A Lonely Place

That’s a lonely and frightening place. No matter the support I receive from all whom I love and respect and admire, I am still left with signing my name to the agreement to euthanize. In that simple pen stroke of my signature, I terminate a life.

The euthanasia agreement, clipped together with x-ray results and doctor’s notes, was before me on the day that my old dog Cinnamon, an 80-pound Golden Retriever, was in critical condition.

She had started the day just fine, eager to go out for her morning walk, where she peed and pooed as usual. One hour later, she refused her breakfast and laid down on the floor, panting. It was warm in the house and it was also the changing of the seasons, so I didn’t think too much of her refusal to eat or of the panting.

A short half-hour later, as I worked in my office, I heard a deafening crash coming from the dining room. Racing in there, I found Cinnamon pinned underneath an overturned chair, her face smashed to the wall, unable to move, surrounded by glass shards coming from the door of the dining room hutch which she had fallen into. I could see that Cin could not navigate her way around a place that had always been comfortable to her. This peaceful place had turned into a perilous obstacle course and a harbinger of death.

A Glorious Cat, My Teacher, Ed

Photo by Sally's Trove
Photo by Sally's Trove

Trusting in Others and in Yourself

An hour later, after rushing Cin to the emergency clinic, my daughter and I were told by the vet that Cinnamon most likely had a tumor which caused a rupture to her liver, that her heart was enlarged and surrounded by fluid, and that it was questionable that surgery could repair the damage. If it did, then there was still the question of whether the tumor was cancerous, and therefore needing chemotherapy, and whether there was a tumor in her heart as well. Given the condition of her heart, enlarged and surrounded by fluid and the questionable outcome of emergency surgery, her chances of ever having a good life after surgery were slim to none.

Cinnamon was an oldie, Goldie retriever, approaching her 11th year. Some Goldens live longer; most don’t. It was her time.

That’s so hard to face, that it was her time. I wanted her to live forever with me. How irrational is that? My conscious mind knows the reality, but my emotions long for something else.

The vet did not lie, and my daughter held my hand through this painful decision. I put my trust in them.

My decision to let Cin go then and there, in the emergency clinic, after she had been so much herself in the morning, was agonizing. In such a short time, she was here and then she was gone. But I could not, would not, prolong her life for the sake of my need to have her with me, or because I doubted what medical professionals said to me. I had done that with my awesome cat, Ed, whose life met an agonizing end two years ago, because I had my own misguided hope that I shouldn’t have. I thank Ed for showing me the wisdom to be able to let Cinnamon go. He, as Cinnamon, was a great teacher.

Cinnamon, at Peace

Photo courtesy of Annemaeve
Photo courtesy of Annemaeve

The Spirit of the One You Love

Today, two days after her passing, I still start at noises in and around the house that remind me of her. Children from next door going in and out the house; Cin loved those children and they loved her. A creaking as the house breathes in the changing season; Cin would have heard that, and her ears would have perked. I still wake up in the morning and think, “Time for Cin’s walk.” But there is no Cin. I go to the refrigerator and take out makings for breakfast and catch my thoughts as they wonder why she isn’t there beside me looking for a treat.

It will take some time to get these day-to-day habits and associations about Cinnamon in a comfortable emotional place. For some time, I will have a brain-space that tells me she is still here and needs to go for a walk, or that it’s her dinner time. I’ll hear a creak in the house or the laughter of the children next door, and I will expect Cinnamon to be here to perk her ears up and ask to go engage. I will wake up in the morning, head toward the kitchen, and expect to see her smile and wagging tail. I can see this vividly, at this moment. I think that means that she is here with me, but in a manifestation other than that of a living, furry dog. She is in my heart forever.

Meanwhile, I know that my emotional experience of Cin in my delayed acceptance of her passing is a connection I need to have with her, right now, as she is crossing rainbow bridge.

To read about Cinnamon and her love of snow, please look here.

More by this Author


Comments 120 comments

kowality profile image

kowality 6 years ago from Everywhere

They are a huge part of our lives. Such a heartbreaking decision to make. Cinnamon sure is a cutie pie. Thank you for sharing Sally. Mischelle and I must also look at this situation.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Kowality, thank you so much for your reading and commenting. My heart is with you as you look at what is happening in your life. No matter what happens, know that our pets are our teachers. This thought is what gets me through difficult times.


kgnature profile image

kgnature 6 years ago from North Carolina

I admire you for making a difficult decision in a timely manner. My biggest regret in life is that I made my Pumpkin suffer longer than she should have by refusing to make the right choice, and placing my needs above hers. It was 10 years ago, but I'm still haunted by her suffering.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

kgnature, I understand what you are saying. What you did is what I did with my kitty, Ed. But he taught me that there can be another way, which I discovered with Cinnamon. Maybe it takes two times to understand. My heart is with you.

Pumpkin not only forgives you, but loves you. You did the best you could do, and she knows that. Our pets are always, always, forgiving.

I wish people would step up to that forgiveness platform.

Many hugs to you.


thevoice profile image

thevoice 6 years ago from carthage ill

terrific terrific touching hub my died year ago thanks


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 6 years ago from India

ST...my heart goes out to you. Words are inadequate at times like these, aren't they? Many hugs!


frogyfish profile image

frogyfish 6 years ago from Central United States of America

Thank you for releasing Cin to peace. That picture is so comforting even in its sadness. And peace to you - you did the right thing! Thank you for sharing your love and companionship.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

thevoice, my heart is with you. Your pet died a year ago, but I know and you know that the soul lives still within you. I have to keep coming back to the idea that our pets are our teachers. Big hugs to you.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

FP, yes, at times like these, words can fail. I am surprised that I got these words out. Please know that I am wrapped in your hugs. You are such a dear to me in so many ways.


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

frogyfish, I am glad you see that picture for what it is, comforting and sad. Some would say macabre, and that would be true, too. Macabre in the Victorian tradition of casket photos. But Cin found her peace there in that moment, and my daughter captured it. Creepy, but real. Thanks so much for your always insightful comments.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Oh Sally, I am so sad for you, as not only have I had to make this painful decision more than once, but I also worked at a vets and saw many others have to make it also. All I can say in comfort is that to end a pet's suffering this way is the ultimate and final act of love you can show to them, a respectful death, no pain and no lingering suffering such as us humans so often have to go through because this choice is not available to us. My heart goes out to you, but know that you did the right thing and will be reunited with Cin one day.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Misty, your comment touches my heart. When I made the decision to let Cin go, I had a silent wish that someone would do that for me if I were in similar straits. There's something wrong with our laws here that won't allow us to do that.

Cin went within 15 seconds of administering the drug. There was no pain in the going. In those seconds, the horrible fate that could have awaited her evaporated forever.

I so admire the vet professionals who care for us humans as well as our animals at a time like this. Respect, dignity, caring...all were there. Plus the ultimate kindness of being able to make it all end.

Let's make a robust toast to those vet practices who make things a little easier amidst the pain.


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

Dear, dear Sally's Trove - such a tough decision and yet it's got to be done. Many hugs - I'm sure it's hard but they leave so many precious memories behind to warm up the lonely days!


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

It is always very draumatic when you loose a pet. You have written a fantastic hub.


proudgrandpa 6 years ago

Hello my friend,

I share your sadness and celebrate the fact that you loved Cin with every ounce of your being. You loved her enough to let her go when it was important to her.

I am struck by several things in your hub; first the person at your side was your very special friend and daughter Anne, second I love the picture of Cin with her nose to the wind and snow on her fur, a true Lab in all of her glory, and finally and maybe most important, the depth of your grief is actually a measure of the depth of your love for your companion/teacher of 13 years.

You have a kind heart and you and Cinnamon was lucky to have each other. NEIL


annemaeve profile image

annemaeve 6 years ago from Philly Burbs

Oh, Mama. I hope that writing this helped you as much as I know reading this will help others.

Cin was the bestest dog, and the perfect companion for you.

And you're right, that picture isn't completely creepy, and I'm glad you have it to keep and to share.

Love you, love your hubs.


BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

This was so devasting a few years back that I have decided not to have pets for awhile. All my life, I grew up around dogs, cats, and yes many others and how can you not adore them - I always feel this is our purpose on earth - to take care of all the animals.

But the last time I was alone and that made it so difficult because I had to make some quick decisions. Fortunately, I have a vet nearby and she was so compassionate.

So now friends and neighbors here in NYC are all getting together to agree to be there for a friend or neighbor in need. Just a phone call and we will come and assist you or even make the arrangements for you - should you need to remove yourself.

We truly have to think of ways to handle our grief. Death is natural - but it is much easier if we understand it and share it.

You're right - we are often, or someone we know is often faced with these end of life decisions.

Thanks for a hub that will remind us to prepare. I'm proud of my NYC friends and neighbors.


Smireles profile image

Smireles 6 years ago from Texas

Thank you for this wonderfully expressive hub. We had to have our chocolate lab Bo put to sleep after a serious illness and it was one of the hardest things we have ever done. Even after ten years we still miss him. He was a good dog and loved!


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Shalini, it's a mystery. Something to do with love and loss. We humans would not be human if we didn't recognize both. It's too soon now to have pleasant memories...but soon I will, just as I do now of my teacher, Ed. Always, thanks for your wonderful words.

Hello, hello, I am always glad to see you. I'm glad you found this Hub worthwhile.

Neil, you gave me something so valuable in your comment, that the depth of my grief is a measure of the depth of my love. Thank you so much for that, my friend. I have yet to reconcile all my feelings about Cin. She came to me only 4 years ago, and although she was a beautiful lady delighting in humans at all times, I felt I never connected with her the way some people do with pets. But now that I look back and consider your comment, perhaps the two of us, Cin and I, were just a bit reserved with each other, true to our "lady" qualities. I have no doubt that she was bonded to me; what I did doubt, while she was alive, was that I was bonded to her. Now that she's gone, and I feel her loss so deeply, I understand how close I was to her without realizing it fully at the time. You are such a dear.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

No, annemaeve, the photo is not creepy. I'm so glad you took those shots that day.

Writing this has helped me, and I share your hope that it will help others.

Whatever would I have done without you that day? You are my precious, precious daughter, friend, and strength.


billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

A great hub - we have lost two of our little mates over the past few years and it is very sad given the companionship but in both cases their lives weren't what they were and I think they are truly happier now. often with pets people just keep them going thinking of themselves rather than the animal. It is hard letting go of that there is no doubt.


FlyingPanther profile image

FlyingPanther 6 years ago from here today gone tomorrow!!

Sally. I will dearly miss Cin she was a great friend to me. I enjoyed having her in my life. I hope writing this hub help you in some ways.Many hugs to you my dear friend and I love you always...

FlyinPanther


rebel'splace 6 years ago

Sally I am so sorry for your loss.She was an awesome dog and a beautiful spirit.I hope that the days get easier for you truly. You will be in my thoughts for I have been there too!As sad as it is to have to let go,you know you are doing it for them. I am sorry for it to have to happen but in return you did the right thing for her.She is at peace and not suffering!!!!!!!!!!Best wishes to a recovery for you.I was pleased to have known her!!!!!Hang in there!


Jaspal profile image

Jaspal 6 years ago from New Delhi, India

I am so sorry to hear about Cinnie passing on. There is no doubt you took the right decision.

It is very hard to come to terms with the loss of one's most loved companion and the emotional hurt caused by having to take the tough decision.

I am hurting, sitting so far away, even though I did not know Cinnie half as well as you did. So I can well understand how you must feel.

Please take care of yourself ...


trish1048 profile image

trish1048 6 years ago

My dear friend,

It goes without saying my heart is with you. I regret that I haven't been able to visit over the past months, however, I will forever remembe Cin placing herself beside me so I could pat her back. How she loved that :)

I agree with BkCreative, that it is our purpose, or one of our purposes here on earth, to take care of the animals. As you know, I've shared my life with many furry friends. It still breaks my heart to this day that I no longer have them. My precious cat Odie was the one that didn't allow me to be with him in his last moments. He chose, instead, to go outside one day, and I never saw him again, till one day the following year, I found his remains in my shed. I have heard, many times, that animals will do that. Just go off somewhere to die.

PS: I'm sure you know, even though you gave me instructions on how many treats Cin was allowed to have at a time, that I always gave her a few more :)

I am glad you found it within yourself to get this hub out, so soon after your loss. It's good, and it's part of your healing process.

Love you.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

BkCreative, this community spirit that you write of is rare in places.

Although my daughter more than stepped up to the plate that day, we could have used the help of more hands for such a big dog. Getting Cinnie from the house to the car and then into the car, was no small feat. I applaud my daughter for her awesome positive spirit and determination, but extra caring help would have been greatly appreciated.

In our community, we have not had a conversation about pet support in crisis. Thank you so much for sharing your community involvement. It's a model well worth emulating.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Smireles, I am so glad you shared about Bo. The pain of losing a pet may diminish over the years, but it never goes entirely away.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

billyaustindillon, you bring up something so important. It is always our decision as pet owners to shape the future for our pets, but I'm not so sure vet practices help us with that.

They give us their professional opinion and they are definitely compassionate (perhaps even more so than human doctors), but in the end, they will seldom advise when it comes to euthanasia. It is very hard for us pet people who are not vets to understand the pain our pets are experiencing...they may whimper or hide, and thus we may miss these signals because they are often subtle.

I am very grateful for this ER vet who cared for Cin that day. She is a Goldie person. My daughter asked her point-blank what would she do if this was her dog. The vet put her head down and closed her eyes, and thought for a very long time. When she looked up, she said, "I would let my dog go." This was such a gift to us. She was honest, and that told us the enormity of the situation.

Thank you so much for sharing the story of your two mates. You helped them end their pain.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

FlyingPanther, I am so glad we chatted on the phone today. I will hold very close to me the joy you and Cin had with each other when you visited. Your clipping her leash to her collar, her wagging her tail, and her dragging you off the porch in her eagerness to get going. These are beautiful images. They help ease the pain.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

rebel'splace, I am smiling as I read your words. You knew this gracious lady, and I am so glad she knew you.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Trish, I always knew you gave her more treats than I allowed. That's you, and that was Cin. Two wonderful hedonists. Far be it from me to break up the clandestine relationship between the two of you. Thank you, my dear friend, for everything.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Jaspal, I know how precious to you your dogs have been and are. Thank you for your kind words and for your sharing in my loss.


sabu singh profile image

sabu singh 6 years ago

It is such a huge shock to learn this tragic news about Cin, ST. My heart goes out to you. I know Cin was such a wonderful companion to you. Her picture in the snow last winter is so vivid in my mind's eye.

While mourning her loss, we must try and remember the good times spent with her too. A small smile may light up.


patspnn 6 years ago

they are like family and when they go they leave a whole in your heart and soul. Remember the good times and remember it was better to have met her than not have known her at all.


borge_009 profile image

borge_009 6 years ago from Philippines

Thanks sally for this inpsiring hub. I know what you have been through after what happened. I have experienced this too. Thanks.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Dearest Sabu, your words mean so much to me. I've been struggling to erase the vivid picture of the aftermath of the fall into the glass that preceded her death; it is so much on my mind. But with your kind and hopeful words, I will try to conjure up that image of her being so happy in the snow, and of her taking too many treats from Trish, and of FlyingPanther taking her on happy walks, before I conjur up the pain and confusion and fear. Thank you so much, my friend.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

patspnn, thank you so much for your loving words. I learned so much from Cinnamon, and I must think of that first. It was indeed so much better to have met her.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

borge_009, it means so much to me to hear that others go through the same pain. Not, of course, that I would wish this pain on anyone, but that is what I am left with, and it is good to know I am not alone. Hugs to you and your departed pet who brought you so much joy.


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 6 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Oh, I'm so sad for you I know how you're feeling. I had to make the same decision not so long ago for my best friend. I'm crying here right now for your loss and again for mine. My dear, we know it was the right decision in our heads but in our hearts...

Doubts still haunt me at times. Then I have to scold myself because I'm just being selfish. I have to remember her as she was and consider myself so lucky to have had such a super duper friend for almost 13 years.

My thoughts and best wishes to you

Zsuzsy


ethel smith profile image

ethel smith 6 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

We are facing this again in the near future. Deep down you know it is the kind and proper choice but of course we all feel like murderers.

Remember the great life you gave her and that when the time was right you unselfishlessly let her go.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Zsuzsy, thank you so much for sharing about your best friend. She is in my heart with Cin.

When grief is fresh, we think it belongs only to us. But through this exchange here on HP, and with friends and relatives, there is great comfort in knowing that others go through the same thing...our heads tell us the right thing to do, but our hearts will feel pain for a long time, perhaps forever. There will always be this conflict between sustaining and ending a life when we bring animals into our hearts.

Many hugs to you, dear Zsuzsy Bee.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Ethel, I am so sorry you have to face this decision again. Yes, we have to put our own needs aside in order to do what is best for our pets...we don't want them to live in pain.

I don't feel like a murderer; I feel I did a kindness, even though it pained me horribly.

I wish euthanasia were an option for people. The act, with the dying person's consent, would be the "kind and proper choice", and the label of "murderer" would be replaced with "humanitarian".

I wish you the best in your upcoming decision. I know you will do the right thing for your pet. I admire you so much for bringing animals into your life, when you know their lives will end before yours. You are strong and loving.


Darlene Sabella profile image

Darlene Sabella 6 years ago from Hello, my name is Toast and Jam, I live in the forest with my dog named Sam ...

Wonderful hub, yes we do learn many things from our pets, they are always waiting with open arms, they are kinder in heart and soul then humans. Thank you, thumbs up...


Lisa HW profile image

Lisa HW 6 years ago from Massachusetts

Sally's Trove, this is, needless to say, an excellent Hub. I'll be honest. I could only skim it, because I've spent the last two days knowing that my son's 9(almost 10)-year old cat must lose her eye in surgery tomorrow. She has a tumor on her eye, and the only choices weren't great ones (needless to say). I've been a mess, going through all the issues - what if it comes in the other eye, etc. I've tried closing one of my own eyes to see how bad it may be for her. It's just awful.

Hopefully, I guess, she'll be sort of OK living with one eye. He's an adult, and we're not people who tend to be very "comfortable" (for lack of a better word) with euthanizing (and I'm just now getting over losing my own 15-year-old cat a few years ago).

Maybe I shouldn't comment on here tonight, while I haven't yet been able to "come to some kind of place" about the eye thing; but I guess I needed to.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Lisa, I'm glad you did comment. One thing that's been so striking for me here about this Hub is the caring that's come through all these comments. When we face difficult times with our pets, all it takes is a little reaching out in this community to know that you are not alone. I don't think this outpouring of empathy and sympathy makes the grief any easier, but it does affirm the goodness and togetherness that are there to help us if only we ask.

You bring up another excellent point. When a loved pet is in trouble or dies, it affects many people, not just the owner. I learned this so poignantly when Cin died. My grief was so intense that it took me a while to see that same intensity of grief in my mother, my daughter, my close friends. Her passing affected them all very deeply.

I wish you and your son and kitty well. I wish her a speedy recovery and hope that she will adapt to having only one eye more easily than you can imagine.


SandyMcCollum profile image

SandyMcCollum 6 years ago

Poor Sally! I've faced this decision - one year I faced it three times. We have always had a menagerie of pets, and now is no different. I did learn, though, not to get all your pets at once. They tend to get old and die at once, too.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Sandy, my heart goes out to you...facing this decision three times in a year. I've had to do it only three times in about 5 years. And that's enough for me not to want any pets any more.

I admire your loving and caring for a menagerie. For me, Cin was the last. I will enjoy pets through my friends and family, sort of like being the grandparent who gets to enjoy the kids and spoil them rotten but who also doesn't have ultimate responsibility for them.

I'd love to spoil your pets! :)


Barbara Kay profile image

Barbara Kay 6 years ago from USA

We just went through this with our Springer Spaniel, only I

haven't been brave enough to write about it just yet. I feel for you and cried along with your story.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Barbara, thank you so much for sharing. My heart goes out to you. I think the writing did help, not only in terms of expressing feelings, but also because of the kindness and caring of all those who commented. All things in their time...you'll know when the time is right for writing.


Art 4 Life profile image

Art 4 Life 6 years ago from in the middle of nowhere....

I am facing this with my red doberman male, Moose...he turned 11 in Feb. and has cancer..he has always been my heart, and I have doodles of him when he was younger on my hubpage...my utmost condolences to you with your Golden...I cried reading your story...thanks for sharing


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Thank you so much for leaving your thoughtful comment, Art 4 Life. I am glad you have your wonderful Moose from a youngster, and for so long. And I am also glad you pointed me to your doodles of him. Your love for him shines.


GmaGoldie profile image

GmaGoldie 6 years ago from Madison, Wisconsin

I was blessed with two gorgeous Goldens - nothing better - I have the fondest memories - oh, how I miss them! Lost at 12 and I know many live beyond that but I figured every day over 10 years was a blessing. They were big - 90 lbs and thin - very tall - could put their head on the kitchen table. Thank you for sharing a difficult time.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

GmaGoldie, thank you so much for sharing your story.

My Goldie's head could not rest on the kitchen table; she was not that tall, perhaps petite and a bit stocky, actually. 80 pounds and bright red fur.

I so see the image of your precious dogs. I know the eyes. I can just see your Goldies with those eyes as they flop their lower jaws on the table top.

I think they are all in a good place, together.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

Hi, I am so sorry about your lovely dog. I lost my sheba about ten years ago, and even now I see her laying in the hallway with the vet asking me that same horrible question. When I walk through the park, I call it sheba's park even now. You did the right thing. As I did. But it does hurt. My brother is still grieving over his dog Tim, who went five years ago. It is funny how animals get into our hearts like this. Nell


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Nell, you are so right about how they get into our hearts. Cin was the only dog I ever had (except for a beagle puppy I had for only two days when I was 12). Like you with Sheba, I will always associate Cin with certain people, places, and things...and when I am reminded of her, even though it hurts, I also know that she is right here with me, in my heart and mind. Thank you so much for sharing about Sheba and Tim.


billy sidhu profile image

billy sidhu 6 years ago

Dear Sally- it was tragic hearing of the loss of Cin. I lost two of them Dusty a cocker spaniel who was my shadow and Lizzie a beautiful golden retriever-they took away all of my heart and some of my soul. my heart ( i think a lil bit is left over) goes out to you.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Dearest Billy, thank you so much for your beautiful comment. I believe you have plenty of heart--our pets whom we love teach us so much about heart. They give all of theirs, showing us that we can give all of ours, and more.

Lizzie and Dusty are in my heart now, as I see Cinnie's smile which was nothing but joy at the most simple things in life, like engaging with children or having a treat or getting her belly rubbed. If I could find that unbounded joy that she did in those simple things, I would be very happy indeed. I'd like to think I'm on that path, because of her.


mwatkins profile image

mwatkins 6 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC

Had to stop reading your hub to digest everything you wrote. We have a little doggie who is nearing her time and it breaks my heart. She is nearing 11 years, but her quality of life compared to the robust, energetic dog she was, is simply not there anymore. Thank you!


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

mwatkins, thank you so much for sharing. I do hope this Hub and the thoughtful, caring comments readers have left help you through this difficult time. One thing for sure, you will always know that you gave your little doggie a wonderful life. She is very lucky to have your love and caring.


Amie 6 years ago

Thank you so much for sharing. It touched a place in my heart that I am having a hard time dealing with. My baby girl kitty, Roxy, is 8 & she was diagnosed with an inoperable tumor. In my heart, I know that the time is quickly coming when I will have to make that decision... but oh how I wish otherwise. Thank you for reminding me that I don't feel anything unusual.


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Amie, thank you so much for sharing. You have company; don't ever think you don't.

I visited your awesome blog and read your latest post about Roxy.

It's hard to know the right time to make the fnal decision. I'd like to say that Roxy will let you know, but that's not always so. Our pets can't tell us how they feel in ways that we easily understand. The decision to end the pain will always be difficult.

My heart is with yours.


Amie 6 years ago

Thank you so much for your wonderful words. I know that no one can shoulder this pain or make this decision for me, but it's comforting to feel the many others who have had to do this behind me. I know the pain of the decision will one day fade & I will be left with the wonderful love Roxy & I shared. I look forward to that day... almost as much as the one where I see her again.

Hugs to you!


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2besure 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

OMG, this has to be so difficult. I still can't watch Marley and Me a second time. I just cried so. You are a good mom to love Cin enough, to let her go.


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

2besure, thank you so much for reading and leaving your kind comment. As for Marley, I read the book and simply could not muster the courage to see the movie.

Cin was the third pet I had to let go in the last five years. Each loss was heartbreaking, but I did learn lessons, as I mentioned. With Cin, thanks to what I learned from my cats Pepper and Ed, I did not hesitate in making the decision.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

We tried to put off the invitable by having the vet call at the house to inject our 12 year old St Bernard every three days with something that appeared to revive him for a while, but it was all down hill. The vet eventually said that it would be cruel to extend his life further and we agreed to the final injection. The children were crying for a week... You have our sympathy...


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Thank you for sharing, DG. My heart goes out to you and your family, too. The passing of a loved pet is so hard to accept, no matter whether we know the end is coming or the end slams us suddenly with the totally unexpected. I don't think there's any way to emotionally prepare for this.


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prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

Cinnamon is a QT, we love animals as they become like our children, it is agonizing to let them go, HUGS my dear, Maita


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Thank you for the hugs, Maita. I surely do miss her.


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mulberry1 6 years ago

I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet, and to have to make that decision is tough. She was lucky to have you, just as you were lucky to have her. Dogs are wonderful, and Goldens are among the best of them.


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

TY, Mulberry, with all my heart. You know Goldens. They've got this thing about their eyebrows, almost a kind of Groucho Marks display. I was lucky to see her brows go up and down and sideways. Some dogs move their heads into attention, perking up ears and cocking their heads, but my dog just used her eyebrows. I think you know what I mean.


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PegCole17 6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Sally - When you left that beautiful comment on my Ode to Dolly last year I knew it was only a matter of time before you faced the same thing. I'm so sorry for your loss. Reading this brings back pain and joy; the last tragic moments and the many memories of her time here. I couldn't help but shed tears for you.

We are blessed by God with the loan of his dear creatures. They're left in our care to test our depth of our love and compassion, but only for a short while until they're called home. It's an awesome and sobering responsibility to make these kind of decisions. My heart goes out to you. The pictures of Cin are beautiful and you've expressed this part of life with clarity and reverence.

I hope you change your mind about not getting any more dogs. Even those who stay with us just a short while enrich our lives and leave us with more good memories than those last agonizing moments at the end. My list grows with each loss and yet I'm renewed with a volume of love from my newest adopted puppy who knows nothing of the sadness. Hugs to you, dear one.


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Peg, thank you so much for leaving this heart warming comment. I remember Dolly. And now maybe Cinnamon and Dolly meet at Rainbow Bridge.

You are so right, we are given a short time with them, but they enrich our lives in the now but also into the future.

My daughter called me yesterday and said, "I know your feelings about bringing another animal into your life. I have a rescue kitty who needs a home. Just checking to see if your position is the same."

God bless my awesome daughter. No guilt-tripping, no sad stories. But the answer is the same. I will not adopt a pet.

What I would like to do, when I'm ready, is become a foster "parent". I think I'd do really well with dogs or cats in need of temporary care while they wait for adoption. I'm looking into this.

I so admire your spirit, Peg.


Nevada Logan profile image

Nevada Logan 6 years ago from USA

This is always so hard. We had 4 Shepherds in our lives we had to let go and it just crushes one's spirit. Although their memory will never be forgotten, it can be very hard but it is for the best. They seem to know when to let go, why is it that we struggle so?


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Nevada, thank you for your thoughtful comment. But I'm kind of speechless regarding your question, and that is a bit unusual for me. If I can collect words later, I'll come back with another comment, but meanwhile, perhaps another soul would like to field the question.


World-Traveler profile image

World-Traveler 6 years ago from USA

I have had to let many pet friends go. Over 100 blue blood racing homing pigeons, a Blue Tick hound dog, Tiger the cat (similar in color to your cat above), another cat- this one named White One (the cat was pure white), a beagle hunting dog, two white doves, four fantail pigeons and a few more, including goldfish and a turtle (when I was young). Each loss was a heartbreak. I understand.

Fortunately I have never owned a horse. To have to watch a horse die would be unbearable.


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

World-Traveler, thank you for your kindness in sharing your losses. The greatest comfort in losing my pets has been hearing the experiences of others, such as yourself, thus knowing I am not alone.

Although I have never owned a horse, I worked as a volunteer with a special horse named Sugar, a therapy horse for those with disabilities. I think of her as my teacher, because her sweetness helped me deal with my fear of horses, which I had developed many years earlier after a fall. I was not there when Sugar died, but the next day I saw the broken wall at the barn where the hauler had misjudged his task, causing her body to collide with the wall. That sight was heartbreaking.


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DzyMsLizzy 6 years ago from Oakley, CA

Hi, Sally's Trove--

Just discovered your hubs today,and this is such a heartbreaker. I've been there myself, and it is never easy. It is the price we pay, I suppose, for allowing into our lives companions with lifespans so much shorter than our own; it is a tragedy which will repeat itself.

That said, how can we not allow these wonderful furry beings into our lives--those who are so full of unconditional love and willing companionship? We need them as much as they have come to rely on us.

When the circle is broken, it hurts deeply, and leaves a hole in our hearts forever.

Yet, in the end, it is the memory of that love and companionship that gives us peace and comfort.

Cinnamon now flies free, whole and happy across the Rainbow Bridge.


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

DzyMsLizzy, thank you for your beautiful words.

No, it is never easy, as you well know.

I so admire those who continue to invite animals into their lives, knowing that the association is not for the length of the life of the human. I can't take that heartbreak again, but I love, admire, and respect all who can.

Thank you for your warm and caring comment. I am a believer of Rainbow Bridge. Cin is there and her gifts to me will live in me forever.


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d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south

I liked your hub. And reading all the comments above there is little more i can add. I have done hub tributes to 3 of my cats i lost last year and i know what you went through. I have another to do on the dog i lost, but it is still too upsetting to think about what he went through and the ending. He was the first dog i ever owned. Now maybe i will get the strength to do a tribute to my friend, and celebrate his life instead of mourning his passing.


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Sally's Trove 5 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Celebrating his life also includes mourning. It will be a long time before a little noise in the house or an ad on TV does not bring pangs to the heart. Celebration of the good things helps, but it does not remove the sadness right away...only over time.

Thank you so much for your comments from the heart. Going now to read about your kitties.


Sharon 4 years ago

I read your post while researching "letting go of a pet." While it's been several months for you, I'm now facing this decision. I have promised my lovely little dog that I will never let her linger in pain or suffering. Your post has helped me greatly with a most difficult decision. And your photo of Cinnamon at peace is a lovely remembrance for you. Many thanks.


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Dear Sharon,

My heart is with you and your little dog while you make this decision. I'm glad you found this article and that it gives you some strength or information or courage to deal with what is in front of you and your pet.

It's been a year and a half since Cinnamon passed. I still hear her in the house from time to time, and when I do, I know that she still lives in my heart, in my mind, in me. She was a beautiful lady who taught me much. This is what your little dog will bring to you. But I am also grateful that I could help her end her pain in the most kind, loving, and humane way I could. Frankly, Sharon, I would like to see the day that humans are treated so compassionately at the inevitable ends of their lives.

I am a believer in Rainbow Bridge...I believe we will all meet again. You will find your peace, and I send you and your cherished dog many hugs. ~Sherri


Sandy T. 4 years ago

It has been two weeks ago since I lost my heart's treaure, Java. She was the most beautiful pug in the world. She was 13 and a half, but she looked great. I had been noticing a change here and there, but, was in denial. That Sat. morning, I fixed her eggs, gave her favorite treats, cut up baby carrots, and left for work. Four hours later when I tired to open the door, I found she had laid up against the door and had passed away. She was waiting for me, because she never laid at that door. I cannot get over her not being with me. Talk about a breaking heart, I feel mine in pieces, I can't sleep, and I am so lonely. She was my sunlight, and I want to see her face again. I think it was her heart, because the vet said, two days before that it was beating too fast. I ran with her all her life, I guess that kept her here with me longer. But, I ran the other night for the first time without, and cried all through town. I loved your Cin story, as well as the others. You feel all alone out here, until you read others have and do feel the pain. I can't wait to see her again at Rainbow Bridge.


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Sandy T, I'm so glad you found this article and shared your experience. You are not alone, and by telling your story you help others know they are not alone either. I can see Java and Cin and all the other loved pets mentioned in these comments gathered at Rainbow Bridge, letting us all know that things are exactly the way they should be: that they are in the next phase, and it is a good one. ((((Sandy T and Java))))


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Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I've never lost a pet, but I've had friends that have. They were heartbroken and devastated and I felt for them. This is a beautiful tribute to your pet. I did lose a few goldfish, but haven't we all.


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

I think goldfish and dogs and cats will all go to the same place, that being the same place we go. :) The hurt and loss are only on this plane. It will be different on the next one.


KDuBarry03 4 years ago

Thank you for sharing this heart touching expression with us. I am sure Cinnamon is at peace. Thank you for releasing her :)


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

KDuBarry03, thank you so much for your kind words. :)


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dear Sally,

We had to make this most difficult decision 3 years ago this September. There is not a day that I do not think of some goofy or loving thing my boy did.

You wrote a beautiful tribute to your fur angel.

I am so glad you believe in the Rainbow Bridge. Now Alvin and Cin are paling around, until we see them again. Love, Maria


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

What a heartbreaker! My husband was a Veterinarian, and I helped him in our animal clinic. I would see the heartbreak of people who had to let their beloved pets go. I had to assist Doc through my tears.

I can't help but wonder if you ever got another dog?

Beautiful, but sad Hub. I voted it up, etc. and I will share your story.


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christin53 4 years ago from UK

So sorry to hear about Cinnamon. I know all too well how difficult it is to make that decision as I have had to do that with two of my cats. We know it's for the best but it doesn't make it any easier.


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AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

I cry with you! I will have to make this decision in the not too distant future and I hope I will be strong enough to do it when the time comes.


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ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Sally,

Well great...I'm just a mess now as I type this. I had a 14-year old Golden named Sonic that suffered a stroke shortly before I had to make that sad choice. Like Cinnamon, one day (about two months later), I found him panting and unable to move. His patent doggy smile was gone and I knew I had to make that decision. That was six years ago and it still kicks me in the stomach when ever I think of him. I miss him a lot.

Thomas


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moonlake 4 years ago from America

We had to make that decision a few months ago and it was not easy. Our Reno was just fine as far as mind and the way he acted. He was having problems just getting around his back legs were going and we often had to help him up. We finally decided it was time and it was hard to do that. We had hoped he would have passed on his own but that just did not happen. He was 14.

I'm so sorry about your Cinnamon. I know it was very hard for you. We never stop missing them.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Oh how my heart aches for you. Indeed that place of painful choices is awful and lonely. Knowing we are doing the right thing is not easier on the heart. I hope you are finding some peace now. I also believe we shall see our fur-babies again. Bless you.


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

Sherri, very sad story but you'll always have Cinnamon in your heart. My dog when I was growing up died at the age of 14. I was about 26 so it is a long time ago but i still think of him often and of how he was a huge part of my life - that last trip to the vets never leaves your memory unfortunately/ Me and my mom took him and then we had to stay away from one another at home - it was too upsetting. When I think of him now, I still smile.


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

Hi Sally, boy, I've got misty eyes reading your loving tribute and memory of your beautiful Cinnamon...I do know how you feel and felt; I've been there so many times with a sweet animal companion; at that last moment. A hard decision but, one made from complete love...unselfish, caring, feeling and necessary. I love the truth and sweetness, vulnerability and kindness in this story of you and Cinnamon. RIP to Mr. Ed, too. Both beautiful companions.


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coffeegginmyrice 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

This made me cry and cry. I have a medium size cockapoo, our dear little bear at home and I don't want him to grow old, if only this could be possible. I am sharing your hub. Thank you for sharing to all of us a very touching story. Cinnamon will always be looking down at you for animals have their places in heaven too!


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ananceleste 4 years ago from California

Hi Sally's Trove ,

Your heart breaking hub has opened old wounds about our old family pet,Sabrina. She came to our family when my mom had my youngest brother. She was a majestic dalmatian. We loved her so much, as we grew up together. 19 years passed by, she was VERY old. Blind and had a number of aliments including lack of mobility. Still, I swear she smiled.

One night, I received a call from my mother to come over. ( We grew up , got married, moved on) It was almost midnight, and my siblings and I met at the house. Sabrina was struggling to move and was breathing funny. There we where, arguing, fighting, over to whether or not to take her to our vet to euthanize her.

My children were confused and devastated. My oldest ( 9 yrs old then) started to cry and calling those in favor of ending her life, murderers. I

knew she was suffering.As a nurse, I was the only one there that could see it. But still, there was a very selfish desire on my part to not let them do this. But my mother was right, when she said that it was her dog. Needless to say that night, everyone left bitter and angry. Personally I could not handle it, so I left.

Sabrina died two weeks later, she went to sleep to never wake up. I was out of state when my sister called. It was devastating for all. She lived with us for almost 20 years, and maybe she held on so long because she knew that she was an important part of our lives. Since then I have issues letting go of my pets. I am afraid of going through that again. We

have a kitten now, and we spoiled him to death. Letting go is a process that takes time. It has been hard...


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Maria, I love the idea of Cinnamon and Alvin palling around. I believe that all creatures, and for that matter, all matter, are intertwined and life as we know it is only one aspect of that intertwining. We will see them again. Thank you for your beautiful comment. ~Sherri


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

mary615, I so admire you and your husband. I do not have whatever it takes to help others through the pain of letting their animals go. My daughter has been my strength, my enormous support, when my pets have had to be released. You, your husband, my daughter, and the compassionate veterinary professionals I've had the privilege to know are heroes in my heart.

Cinnamon came to me as an older dog. I'd never had a dog before (except for a brief few days when I was very young). She taught me so much, perhaps a subject for another hub, for which I am eternally grateful. However, I will not have a dog again, nor a cat. Not a fish, either. I don't ever want to go through that pain of losing a loved pet again.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and for sharing. :)


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

@christin53, yes, you are so right. Knowing it's for the best does not make it easier. Thank you for your heart-felt comment. :)

@AudreyHowitt, I'm so sorry you have to make this decision. My heart goes out to you. I think the best words I can offer to you are that you will be making the right decision for your pet. I also hope that you will have someone there to support and comfort you, as I have my daughter and the caring and compassion of my vet practice. :)


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Thomas, your comment touched me deeply. Writing this hub was painful, and now, with all the recent comments, I'm reliving the pain. I know what you mean by feeling kicked in the stomach. But I also think it's a good thing to be able to look back, not at the pain, although the pain of letting a pet go will always accompany our memories of that wonderful pet, but at the beauty and worth our pets gave us. Sonic's "patent smile", although gone on that day, will live in your heart forever, and that's the beautiful gift you received.

Sonic at 14 lived a long life for a Goldie. And his life was good, very, very good, because of you. I don't know your thoughts about Rainbow Bridge, but I'm seeing Sonic there with Cinnamon and Maria's Alvin, and all the others, and Sonic IS wearing that patent smile.

Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. Others will find kind company in your words.


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

@moonlake, you made the right decision. You know and I know that animals don't communicate their pain to us, as we would and could one human to another. But Reno must have been in horrible pain. Truly, I wish we humans were allowed to exercise this act of kindness on each other. He needed help to pass on, and you were there for him. No, we never stop missing them, but again, I'm repeating myself, we will all meet again. :)

@Hyphenbird, you have expressed so eloquently what this hub was about - the loneliness of making this decision and that we will see these loves of ours again. Bless you. :)


iamakid profile image

iamakid 4 years ago from Philippines

I haven't had a pet in my entire life. I'm 20 now but still i'm scared to dogs. But this one made me think to have one, i really want to experience the magic a pet does in one's life :)


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Icematikx 4 years ago from United Kingdom, Staffordshire

Excellent hub. I have two dogs myself and I'd hate to see them go!


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afriqnet 4 years ago from Nairobi Kenya

I found your Hub moving, I am very attached to my Dog and loosing him would be such a huge loss. I take good care of him and ensure he is in good health. Thank you for sharing


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

@Hyphenbird, thank you for your kind and caring words. There is comfort in knowing that others understand.

@Jools99, Julie, you are so right: that last trip to the vet never leaves your memory. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Yes, they are in our hearts, and as with you about your loved dog, thoughts of Cinnamon make me smile, and I think they will forever. :)


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Lucky Cats, thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. You've been there, too. I admire so much that you continue to take animals into your life. That's something I will never do again. The pain of losing them does not and can not be put aside to the joy I have while I have them. I know you understand.


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

coffeegginmyrice, thank you for your very endearing words. You share this love of animals, as so many here do. We don't want to see them reach the ends of their days. But they will...and then we have to cope. I wish you and your cockapoo a rich life together, and I do believe we will all meet again. :)


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

ananceleste, thank you so much for sharing your story about Sabrina. It's amazing that she lived to such an age, a testament to having been so very well cared for, so very loved.

No, the pain of loss does not go away quickly, and I share with you the desire to never go through it again. I've lost four cats and Cinnamon through the years, and that is quite enough for me. :) I wish you and your kitten all the joy in the world, and keep spoiling him! ~Sherri


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Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

iamakid, I, also, used to be afraid of dogs, and I would never have taken in Cinnamon if not for two things. First, she was an older dog I had known for some time and knew her beautiful disposition well. She was a lady, through and through! Second, my daughter and her dog lived nearby, and I knew I could count on them for good advice about dogs and about being a dog owner, and also for emotional support (I didn't know the first thing about dogs!)

My experience with Cinnamon turned out to be magical. She taught me so much, including how to understand dogs so that I didn't have to be unreasonably afraid of them.

Having a pet really can make magic happen in your life. But it is also a big responsibility financially and physically. I think you will know when the time is right to have your first pet, and in fact, it just may be that the pet finds you instead of the other way around, which is actually how I came to have Cinnamon: she needed a new home, and her owners picked me. It really did come out of the blue.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. I wish you and your pet-of-the-future the best of everything. :)


mary615 profile image

mary615 3 years ago from Florida

I commented on this Hub 7 weeks ago when you wrote this about Cinnamon. Just want to tell you of our loss, our beautiful Shih Tzu who died 5 days after giving birth. I wrote a Hub about that loss. I know you must still be grieving over your loss. It will take me a long time (if ever) to get over our loss.

Love, Mary


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Sally's Trove 3 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Mary, thank you for thinking about me and Cinnamon and posting here about Rikki. I followed you on Facebook to keep up with the news about the babies and Rikki's passing, such joy mixed with sadness. It does indeed take a long time to get over the loss. Even now, more than two years after Cin's passing, every once in a while I still expect to see her in her favorite place in the living room...old habits die hard. :)


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 3 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

You did the right thing … you know you did.

You put the needs of her poor tired body before your own selfish need for her loving company. It was a hard thing to have to do so instantly but you chose the right action. This fact alone must be your comfort.

This hub made me cry … but then anything with animals in it makes me cry which is why they are a subject for my writing too.

Bless you, m’dear.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 3 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

Angie, thank you so much for your kind, understanding, and affirming words. Letting Cin go when I did does indeed bring me a kind of comfort...letting go so quickly for the sake of the pet, while putting my selfish feelings aside, was something I couldn't do before. In that, Ed was my teacher.

Bless YOU. :)


CR Rookwood profile image

CR Rookwood 3 years ago from Moonlight Maine

This is so beautifully written and expressed. We went through a very similar experience with Rocky. He was almost 10, and for an Alaskan Malamute (he weighed 133 pounds) that was old, but I had never had a dog before so like you I hoped he could stay with me forever. Took him on our normal walk, where he had a great time and seemed fine. Left for the grocery store when he settled in a for a nap and by the time I got back he was throwing up.

We decided to keep an eye on him--he's thrown up before and it passed but in the middle of the night he was struggling for breath and could barely stand. We literally rushed him to the 24-hr animal hospital just in time for him to get an x-ray and die, but we did get to spend a final moment with him before he passed. It was like he was waiting for us to let him go and when we did he passed on.

I lost both of my parents early in life, but I have never felt grief this raw. If you've never had unconditional love and an animal gives it to you so freely, it changes you forever. Thank you for sharing this with me. Bless you and Cinnamon. Love hurts but it is worth experiencing anyway. More than worth it. Maybe that's all Jesus meant--take the pain, accept the love, love back, it's worth it.


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Sally's Trove 3 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

CR Rookwood, my heart is with you. Alfred Lord Tennyson's words speak to me this evening ... "'Tis better to have loved and lost / Than never to have loved at all." I think that is what Jesus meant, too. There is such pain in this loss, but such beauty in the love. The pain will fade, truly, but the love will live on forever.

Our first dogs have made that crossing over Rainbow Bridge. In that we are thinking of them today, together, I have no doubt that they are there with each other, looking down on us. We'll see them again.

Best wishes to you, my friend. ~Sherri


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

O I do know this pain. It has happened too often and each time I said, no more, no more pets...it hurts too much to lose them. But I always find another to warm my heart and fill my home.

Honoring our pets by writing about them helps to keep the living on and is a way to share them with others.

Sending Angels to you today :) ps


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Sally's Trove 3 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania Author

pstraubie48, thank you so much for taking the time to leave your thoughtful comment. I very much admire your willingness to open your heart and home to pets even when it hurts so much to lose them. :)

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