Dog Not to Be Fooled With
Monday, July 6th, 4:10 p.m., 8579 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd NE, Sandy Springs, GA — Outgoing Peewee Girl Sprout Pixie Pinderpest rings the doorbell, hoping to finalize the sale of the last two boxes of peanut butter cookies from her 72nd carton of cookies, to take regional lead in cookie sales. By 4:17 p.m., all that’s left is one pink sneaker, shoelace untied.
Sunday, August 15th, High Noon, 8579 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd NE, Sandy Springs, GA — The small troop of evangelicals wish one of their number, sub-deacon Duwayne Lane Brainstain, well, as he climbs another suburban stoop to bring the word of our Lord and Savior to one more household in need of salvation. Within a quarter hour, the saliva-covered spectacles of Mr. Brainstain lie shattered near that suburban stoop.
Tuesday, August 24th, 11:47 a.m., 8579 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd NE, Sandy Springs, GA — Neighbors are jarred by a high keening squeal, followed by rather gruesome noises, then sudden stillness. Splayed along the walk are the scattered letters and circulars from local mailman Fertis Jones’ bag. No other remnant of the bag (or Fertis, for that matter) can be found.
Wednesday, Sept 8th, 2:03 a.m., 8579 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd NE, Sandy Springs, GA — The world’s unluckiest home burglar climbs the board-on-board fence at the rear of the yard, and makes it about as far as the rusted swing set. By dawn, a few bits of bone and an incisor-gnarled fake wooden handgun are all that greet the rising sun.
Need I say more?
Steer clear of this place!
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Sure, you may like your mole rat, gerbil, python, tarantula, goldfish, potbelly pig, poodle, lynx, mastiff, ferret, cockatiel, budgerigar or Guernsey, but I say pachyderms are tops!
Look around. Who's got it good? Rex & Buck & Mango & Tuff Guy, that's who.
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