Getting Two Female Cats To Exist Together In The Same House In Peace and Harmony

Dixie as a little kitten... as she grew, her nose turned almost completely black instead of pink.
Dixie as a little kitten... as she grew, her nose turned almost completely black instead of pink.
Misty a couple days after she was found, relaxing at our son's apartment.
Misty a couple days after she was found, relaxing at our son's apartment.
What WAS Mom thinking?? That water dish is bigger than Dixie is!
What WAS Mom thinking?? That water dish is bigger than Dixie is!
Dixie's First Birthday, little did she KNOW what was about to come through the front door!
Dixie's First Birthday, little did she KNOW what was about to come through the front door!
"Sassy playing" with one another.Misty has her paw outstretched... Dixie is not sure about it!
"Sassy playing" with one another.Misty has her paw outstretched... Dixie is not sure about it!
Misty giving her big sister a kiss! Harmony at last!!
Misty giving her big sister a kiss! Harmony at last!!
The Octagon Cat Pen available through Dr's Foster and Smith website... these things were lifesavers when we traveled across the country with our two cats, on the way out to Nevada!
The Octagon Cat Pen available through Dr's Foster and Smith website... these things were lifesavers when we traveled across the country with our two cats, on the way out to Nevada!

The Adventures of Dixie and The Mitt..

 

Dixie was born out in the country on a farm one cold March day.  She snuggled with her Mama until she grew big enough to go to her new home.

She came to her new home on Mother’s Day and her adventure began!  She walked around the house on those little paws, until she got tired of exploring, and wanted to find a place to sleep. Her new human “Mama” put her in a litter box, and she used it like a big kitty. Then it was time for bed… meow, meow, meow… quiet for a minute…. Meow, meow, meow….. quiet again for a little bit… Meow, meow, meow… all night long! How could one little six week old kitten stay awake like that ALL night!

After a night of not much sleep for anyone, her human Mama was sitting in a chair when all of a sudden, JUMP!!! She jumped up on her Mama’s lap and snuggled up on her chest and started to purr softly. “Hmmm”, said her human “mama”… “Someone has kitten chow breath, and it’s not me”… as little baby Dixie softly breathed against her new Mama’s cheek.

And so began our adventures in owning a beautiful little kitten! She played and grew and played some more… snoozed quite a bit, then played and grew some more!

We had her for about a year then received a phone call from our son. “MOM, we found a small cat that someone has abandoned… she is meowing outside of our door so we gave her something to eat….” “Mom? Do you think Dixie needs a little sister?” Oh boy… we weren’t quite sure what to think about that! Until we saw little Misty (I named her “Misty Blue” because she was abandoned in the springtime and the weather that spring had been atrocious) and fell in love with her. Rainy, cloudy, gloomy, “misty”… alone in the world.… so Misty Blue it was. We just didn’t understand how someone could just put a cat outdoors and abandon him or her. But then, she was found on the campus of the University our sons were attending at that time.  We figured that the school year had ended and someone went back home, or to an apartment for the summer and couldn’t bring her along.

She was cold, wet, and VERY hungry. Both physically hungry and emotionally hungry for some love and acceptance so she could grow to understand that humans are not all bad, and can be very loving and take excellent care of a beloved little cat. We took her to the vet and found out that she, too, was about a year old, just like Dixie! Only she IS a bit smaller either because that is just her genetic makeup or due to her lack of food for a while, we weren’t sure what caused it. But, to this day, she is just a little bit smaller than Dixie.

Now the FUN began! We brought her home… HISS!!! HISS!!!! HISS!!!! A very VOCAL Dixie let us know in NO uncertain terms that this little one was NOT welcome in our home. I had never heard Dixie hiss before, so that was a new experience! I had talked to our veterinarian and found out that the two cats that are the HARDEST to bring together and get them to get along are two female cats.  She told us that had they both been raised from very young in the same home, it would have been easier, OR, if one had been a male. A male/female combination is much easier to put together in harmony. Great. What HAD we gotten ourselves into?!

After several sleepless nights, because of trying to solve the hissing and not getting along problem, we had put Misty in our room at night with us.  Poor Dixie was lonely and wanted Mama, not this new little intruder! So, we were back to “MEOW, MEOW, MEOW” all night long. It was a very difficult road for about four months, and I have to admit, there was one point where we almost brought Misty to a shelter and almost dropped her off there. I put her in her carrier one morning after another sleepless night… and took her to the shelter and told the lady that our two cats simply could not get along, so we had to bring Misty there. I could not fathom these TEARS running down my face as I was talking to her. She told me, dear, just please bring her back home with you… and give her one more week. If things are not improved in a week, then bring her back to us. What a wonderfully wise and understanding soul this worker was at the animal shelter! I’m so THANKFUL I took that advice and brought Misty back home.

We had read all we could find about getting two female cats together and having them get along and one day actually enjoy being with each other. Unfortunately, everything we found was somewhat discouraging and grim!

One thing that really helped us was that all along, we had let the two cats “play” underneath the door; I called their game “sassy paws.” By letting them hit at each other’s paws, they became familiar with each other’s scent. I honestly believe that letting them play together (even though it was QUITE a sassy little game they were playing!) was the key to them FINALLY getting to know one another and eventually getting to LOVE one another. Another great thing to do is to take something that has the cats scent on it (a blanket or toy they like to play with) and introduce it to the other cat (while they are still separated), this will also allow them to explore each other’s scent, since that is what cat’s use to determine if a situation is “safe” or not.

Now, I’m not saying that they ALWAYS get along now, but they certainly seem to have learned how to play with one another, even though at times (usually at night around bedtime) they might become just a little rough. But they DO seem to know each other well, now. And Misty and Dixie both realize that Mama and Daddy love them both equally. AND, whenever Dixie gets a kitty treat, Misty will most certainly receive one, too. I can assure you that we turned this skinny little kitty into a healthy adult kitty … with a tiny bit of a “treat belly” on her! And Dixie, well, let’s just say that Dixie’s had her treat belly for a while now!

Are they spoiled? No, just well-loved. So, if you are in the situation of trying to bring two female cats into the same home and hope that they will get along, please be patient and know that it certainly CAN take up to four months, or possibly longer, for them to truly get used to one another and not feel that territorial “this cat is a threat” feeling that they surely will have in the beginning. Be patient, please, for once they do get along… it is a beautiful thing, as you can see from my picture of Misty kissing Dixie on the top of her head! She STILL will do that from time to time, then sometimes it turns into good natured “fighting.” It’s more play fighting than anything and reminds me of when our boys were little. They could be best of friends one minute, enemies the next, and friends again the next. Cats can behave in a similar way!

 Now when they are first introduced to one another, please separate them for their own safety if they are rough with one another. In the beginning it truly may NOT be playing but trying to hurt one another. So, keep them safe, allow them to “sniff” and get to know one another, and be patient. You just may have the beginnings of a beautiful friendship!

One last thing you can try is the octagon shaped cat pen that we used to carry these two cats when we moved across the country. Unfortunately, we didn’t have those at the time, so they played “sassy paws” underneath the door instead, but I think something like those carriers might have been helpful in getting the two girls together.

Once they are getting along and have established a routine in your home, they will be sweet friends and a source of never ending entertainment and JOY to you!

 

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Comments 14 comments

RedElf profile image

RedElf 5 years ago from Canada

We have a rag doll and two dogs - they all get on well but our kitty boy won't accept another cat. You are so fortunate to have two kitties together.


KathyH profile image

KathyH 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Aww, RedElf, I bet you do wish your rag doll would accept another cat... I've never been around a rag doll, but from pictures I've seen they ARE beautiful! Thanks for stopping by and reading! :)


Jean 4 years ago

That is a very nice story. I have two lovely ladies as well. Misu, a black-masked calico, was about 4 when Madeleine, a tabby, having been abandoned, made herself at home on our porch. Misu has always been a bit aloof but Madeleine was the sweetest, tummy-bearing kitty. We thought she was a kitten she was so small but it turned out she was 4 also. Well, long story short, they tolerate each other. Misu is very jealous of her and swipes at her every chance she gets. It breaks my heart that they don't get along better but I love them both and try very hard to praise and give them both equal affection....and treats ! Still, I think each would miss the other if one were no longer here. I can only hope that I will walk in one day to Misu licking Madeleine !!!


KathyH profile image

KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Thanks for visiting Jean, and for your thoughtful comment. I hope your two kitties get along one day as well. :) Ours sometimes "fight" but it is not real fighting. They just chase each other around for a little while until they both get tired, then they take a nap! For the most part, they get along. They sit together and look out the window, so we have peace in the house once again. I think our cats are like yours, they would miss the other one if one was no longer there. Thank you for reading and for your comment! :)


Holly OBrien profile image

Holly OBrien 4 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

Does it work for 2 male cats, too?


KathyH profile image

KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

I'm not sure, Holly, but I think it might! :) This might work just to get two cats of any gender to get along. I just remember our veterinarian telling me that putting two females together is the toughest thing to do! :) Hope you are able to get them to get along! :)


Rolf K 4 years ago

Hi Eveerybody, im so glad to read about the success stories here, because it gives me a bit of hope. I have a 2 year old female that I got from a farm from when she was very young, and as shes grown up she doesn't correspond well with strangers. A brought a new female kitten in, about 1 year old. I've been separating them in each room from the beginning, and letting them smeel each other through the door, only thing is, my 2 year old completely goes into defense mode, where she gets angry at anything that gets near her, even me. So im really afraid that I wont succeed. I guess the only thing i can do for now is keep them separated and let them smell each others belongings as you've said. Best Regards Rolf


KathyH profile image

KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

I really hope things work out OK for you, Rolf. We went through a time where we almost gave up. I was just about ready to take Misty to the humane society to let them try to find a new home for her because I thought our two cats might never get along. I was in TEARS when I brought her there in her carrier. The lady who worked there saw that I really didn't want to give her up, told me to take her home and just try it for another week or two. That was almost four years ago. Keep trying! It is worth it! :) Good luck!


Rolf K 4 years ago

Hi Kathy, thx for your response:) I did read the whole story about Dixie and Misty, but I can only imagine how difficult it must have been, well I knew that this wasn't gonna be easy, but Im gonna give it everything I got:) It might be worth mentioning that my 2 year old, Luppa, is a halfbreed of siamese and the new kitten, Tulle is a regular housecat. Reading up upon siamese cats, I notice that many only develop strong bonds with 1 individual. And I must say, she is so dependant on me...She has to sleep on top of me or at least so she can see me, if not she wont calm down. I just feel so bad about leaving the kitten alone in the next room at nightfall. Im not sure what's the best procedure here...I want the new kitten to feel welcome aswell of course. But sleeping in the other room, wouldn't mean a even more aggrevated Luppa. Any suggestions? Also, Tulle has a very curious personality and seems much more open to getting to know Luppa. I thought this would be an advantage, but Luppa doesn't not recognize her as a kitten, and find her more like a threat than anything else...

Best regards Rolf


KathyH profile image

KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Hi Rolf!

I'm not sure about Siamese cats, since our two are just regular domestic short hair cats, although I do think Dixie is more of a medium hair, she sheds all OVER the place! :) I didn't know that Siamese cats tend to bond with just one person. That might make things more difficult, although I think if you give it time, and let them get to know each other in a safe way, like playing underneath the door, maybe in time they will become used to one another. They might not ever be real close, even our cats are not real close. But ours do seem to enjoy each others company now that they are so accustomed to one another. Sometimes our cats chase each other through the house, but it is a playful kind of chase, not mean or hurtful. Then they both go their own ways and take naps. Cats do tend to be more solitary creatures sometimes than dogs I think.

I hope things work out for you. If you can, try to stay in the room where the kitten is sometimes, just to spend a little one on one time with the kitten to get her used to you. I know how hard it is to have one outside the door or in another room at nightfall though. We used to have to keep Dixie outside the door just to make sure they were both safe. She didn't suffer any negative affects from that. But it sure was hard on us until they got used to each other! Good luck! :)


Rolf K 4 years ago

Thank you so much Kathy, I cant tell you just how much I appreciate this:) About playing under the door, I thought this was a great idea, but the door between them does not have enough space under it to be possible. I have put a hook on the door so its slightly open instead, but since they can see each other, Luppa doesn't not dare to go closer to the door. 3 feet is the absolute closest she has dared to go near the door, and that is when Tulle is resting and not standing at the door. One crazy idea I had was putting each of them in their transportation box, next to each other. That way they would be able to smell, hiss and make weird noises all they want at each other, but without the chance of hurting one another. But then again, im thinking this could also make the situation much worse instead....any thoughts on this? I mean, they way I see it, is there is 2 possible outcomes of this: 1: Luppa will be overtraumatized and I will make it worse instead. Or 2: It will be hell for a long period, but then they might rest at last next to each other, and hereafter starting to smell and get used to one another through the cover between them. Once again thank you:)


KathyH profile image

KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

You're so welcome! I would definitely try putting them into carriers next to one another so they can't harm one another and see how they react! It certainly doesn't hurt to try it, you're right, maybe by sniffing one another and getting used to each other being in the same room will be beneficial! Hope it works for you!


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 14 months ago

This is a beautiful hub, and I'm glad I found it. You are very fortunate in getting two female kitties to become friends. We've tried it in our family a couple of times, and so far it hasn't happened. At best the two females only tolerated each other because they knew they had to, and anytime they came close to each other, they had a hissing match. Congratulations to Dixie and Misty for a lasting friendship.


KathyH profile image

KathyH 14 months ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

So glad you enjoyed reading this MizBejabbers! Sometimes they chase each other around like they're play fighting, but then as quickly as it starts, they're done! The other day, I noticed Dixie watching Misty while Misty got a drink of water and Dixie "slow-blinked" at Misty, a sign of affection. It probably depends on their personalities whether they get along, just like with people. Thanks so much for commenting!

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