How to Stop Your Cats from Keeping You Up at Night
Do you wake at 3AM to purrs? Does falling asleep feel like that cat attack scene in Dario Argento's Inferno? I own three cats that once sleepily lounged during the day and at night, ran around my house like a couple of drunken frat brothers. I first bought a toy from Petsmart that promised to keep them quietly enthralled. This toy has blinking lights embedded in a soft mat. The idea is that your cat will quietly bat at the lights. My cats quietly batted for a few minutes, then started batting my face. Next, I tried to keep them awake during the day, but as soon as I left the house, they were back at it. Finally, I found the solution.
I created a cat apartment! Or, in other words, I locked them in the bathroom! Set up a bathroom with a litterbox, a cat bed, food, and water. If you have a bathroom far from your bedroom, this is ideal as the cats will not be too keen on being locked away at first. When you're ready to go to bed, herd your kitties into the bathroom. You can get them settled with a few cat treats, perhaps a bedtime story. I like to tell my cats the stories of how I adopted them. Then go to bed. Now, this next step is very important: NEVER let them out during the night. No matter what sounds you hear coming from that bathroom. They'll try to trick you by howling, hissing, and scratching. My cats even rammed their bodies against the bathroom door! Don't let them fool you. Do this for a few nights, and although it might be a bit stressful (my cats retaliated by urinating all over my couch), trust me. Eventually, they will become bored in their little bathroom apartment, and they'll start sleeping at night. And it will all be worth it.