How to train your human to your standards

Trouble. One of these days I'm gonna forget she's in there and throw garbage on her. she LOVES a clean waste basket lol
Trouble. One of these days I'm gonna forget she's in there and throw garbage on her. she LOVES a clean waste basket lol | Source
Trouble admiring herself what a character. Shes the only girl.She has to make sure her fur be lookin good!
Trouble admiring herself what a character. Shes the only girl.She has to make sure her fur be lookin good! | Source
Trouble playing in the sink and the waters on lol. she loves it! so cute
Trouble playing in the sink and the waters on lol. she loves it! so cute | Source

My name is Trouble; here’s a day in my world:

Just so the humans can use it to behave - every single day! There’s

photos of me on my mom’s profile, I’m the one playing in the trash

can, looking up innocently, like, ‘what did I do? Aren’t I so cute?’


Sometimes I give the ‘I’m so cute’ look so they keep me, but I still

should show them how cute I am just in case, you know. I love playing

with papers in the trash and I am grateful that my mom changes the

trash bag often.


I love my human mom, but, you know she might miss something. I need to

inspect every bag or box that comes through my door. It’s just better

if I do it myself.


One of my favorite things to do is take my paw and clear off the

dresser and counter tops. Then I get to watch my mom get frustrated

picking everything up. Then I follow her at her feet and purr loudly,

she especially loves it when I give her some affection while she

cleans up the mess.


If I don't like where my Mommy puts things back, I'll swipe them off

the table again. Then she has to pick it all up again, under my

supervision.


Trust me, not all of us cats think we take great pictures. I have a

few cute ones, but, does mom really have to frame them and post them

all online, too? I can't have other cats seeing me play in the CLEAN

water in the human litter box, that stinks, too!


Daddy always says, "You're the one who brought that "thing" home." I

am not a "thing.” Daddy even you sneak me goodies, when mom's not

looking. I know my dad loves me. He plays with me when we're in what

mommy calls the Man Cave. Anyone can go in there - unless I put my paw

down to that!


Maybe Dad needs a sign saying, “Daddy and Trouble only.” If mommy

needs a screwdriver ,she can darn well wait until Dad and I allow her

in. Hey, It's a lot of work to guard the cat door, the man cave, AND

the whole house, plus keep Mommy in line. It's tiring. That's why I

sleep so much.


I think Daddy loves me so much, but he doesn't want Mom to know, so I

do let him refer to me as "That Thing." I love to watch t.v., too. I

often stand or sit right in front of the screen. I mean, I'm the

entertainment here and they should be watching me and not the stupid

TV!


I love to play. Playing with me usually involves me hiding somewhere

they can't see me, and running out real fast. That scares them and by

the time they figure out what happened, I'm long gone, or I’ve darted

back to my hiding spot I just ran out of. It's so funny you should see

how high the humans jump. Mommy has a bad heart and she jumps the

highest. I'm so much more smarter than they are, so I love to lay on

their computer keyboard, just to let them know I am here. Yeah, it’s

like, you're time online is up, I'm here now.


I eat before all the other cats. I get my issue of cat nip before the

others, too. Just try not putting me first and there will be a huge

mess, and attitude from me, and real heck to pay. Mommy loves me and

is good to me, and she knows better too, and feeds me first.


I love my humans, it's the other cats and a - ugh - dog that live here

too, and that dog ticked me off. After all, I am a cat. Duh.


Mommy has taken to locking me in her room with her at night so I won’t

attack the other pets. Why do they need others anyways? I mean I AM

here now. Oh! I forgot, they were here before me. Still, she should

have just kept only me! I know I'm being selfish, it's just how I am.

My family's coping with what to do about me, but, so far I'm so good

at it, they have no idea what to do with me.They love me of course,Trouble and all.


Oh I almost forgot! I love standing on mom's chest in the middle of

the night and I meow real loud, so when she opens her eyes the first

thing she sees are my yellow ones. Glaring at her, to get up and let

me out to potty. That's her punishment for locking me away from the

other pets at night, stopping me from playing in things that are so

much fun! ALL the things I just love to do! She has to pay for locking

me up at night. That's right; I come stand on HER chest, not Dad's.


One day , I'll have Mommy trained just like I have Daddy trained. It

really would make my life easier and a lot less stressful. I know they

can all be trained because I trained Daddy. Also, all of them are

already trained to use the human litter box. I often wonder what kind

of cat trained my humans to use that human litter box.


Sometimes, I just let them love me before I drift off to sleep.

However, if someone moves I'm on it! I love my humans, they have the

‘oh, I’m so cute-looking’ trait, too. I bank on it to keep me here,

keeping them. I'm only allowed to be petted when I feel like it. I

have been known to cause trouble. That's why I *think* they named me

trouble. Maybe it's because I am.


Copyright 2012


Comments 24 comments

Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 3 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon Author

Trouble is mommy's girl. She is absolutely the funnest cat I ever had. she is VERY MUCH LOVED trouble and all lol. She doesn't miss anything!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

Haha! love it! we used to have lots of cats too, so I can totally understand your great hub, we had one that would always yell its head off if we didn't take notice of it! it was louder than any baby! spoiled, thats what it was! lol! great hub, and made me laugh, nell


stessily 3 years ago

Rusti, Such a charming tribute to Trouble. I'm so glad that Trouble has shared her pointers for training of humans. I especially chuckled over these words from Trouble:

"I love my human mom, but, you know she might miss something. I need to inspect every bag or box that comes through my door. It’s just better if I do it myself."

The photos are adorable!

Thank you for sharing Trouble with everyone.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 3 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

This is sooo cute. Cats are so good to own us and let us love them to bits.


Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon Author

Thankyou she's my baby for sure!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

....well I had no 'trouble' enjoying and appreciating your poem from a cat's point of view - but then again - isn't everything in life from a cat's point of view - lol - my two best friends 'own' me by the way - Little Miss Tiffy and Mister Gabriel - Little Tiffy is the one in the photo and she was my mum's cat. She is a diva and is now 18 years old.

sending you warm wishes and good energy from lake erie time ontario canada 2:33pm and I can tell this wonderous piece of writing is truly a labor of love coming from you ......


Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon Author

Oh thankyou. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! Love to you my friend.I read your hubs and you write good ones.Alot of times I read them on my stupid tablet and it's hard to leave comments for you on that thing.I suppose once I learn it , it will get better! I hope! Here's to us cat lovers!


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

I just came back to read this Hub again because it is SO cute and creative. I'll shar with my FB friends and followers cause I have a lot of cat lover friends!


Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon Author

Trouble,(my cat) would have alot to say I'm sure! Thanks for reading it and commenting,I love to hear what people think! Thankyou so much.


vespawoolf profile image

vespawoolf 4 years ago from Peru, South America

Very cute! If only pets could talk...


Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon Author

Thankyou too! Thankyou for taking the time to read my hubs. I'm gonns hop around here, as soon as my pain and heart pills kick in. Thanks again for being so sweet.


hi friend profile image

hi friend 4 years ago from India

very descritive and a great hub


Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon Author

Thankyou. I love my trouble she's sleeping next to me now.You and your cat will adjust ,as soon as she trains you.! :)


Dubuquedogtrainer profile image

Dubuquedogtrainer 4 years ago from Dubuque, Iowa

Very cute with cute photos! Voted up! Reminds me of my old cat who has since passed away. I have a new cat and we are still adjusting to each other but she could wear that badge as well - Trouble!


Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon Author

Thank all of you so very much.I am not a writer I just thought, this would be a fun hub to read. I love trouble, in fact she's laying with me now. She has her sweet side and is a funny cat.She keeps us laughing.I'm glad I could share her antics and all of you enjoyed it.Thank all of you so much for reading it and mostly, finding the humor I meant it to be here.Thanks again so much.


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

What a cute Hub. Trouble has trained you well, that's for sure. I don't have a cat, but I have a miniature schnauzer who has me trained well,too. I wrote a Hub about her. Check it out when you have some time. This was a really fun Hub. I voted it UP, funny, etc.


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

This is a cute and entertaining hub! Your cat reminds me of my cats and dogs. They certainly believe that my family's life should revolve around them!


kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 4 years ago from Massachusetts

Hi Rusti,great entertaining and funny hub enjoyed every moment of reading,and Trouble is so cute.

Vote up and more !!!


SandyMcCollum profile image

SandyMcCollum 4 years ago

Great story, very creative and very descriptive - and described correctly, as I know Trouble. Once in a while she'll slow down as she goes by me, and that's my chance to pet her. If I miss it, it's too late. Great read, thanks!


Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon Author

Thankyou everyone,I had so much fun writing this one and I'm so glad you all enjoyed it. It was just meant to be cute.Trouble really does those things tho.Especially glaring at me, standing on my chest. Thankyou for all the nice comments.Thats the most comments I ever recieved on a hub. So I'm kinda proud.Thankyou all for taking the time to write me.


katyzzz profile image

katyzzz 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

An untroubled trouble you have there, and ginger to boot, what could be more pleasing, love your style.


laurathegentleman profile image

laurathegentleman 4 years ago from Chapel Hill, NC

This is adorable! (And it further affirms that if I were to be any animal at all, I'd be a house cat!! haha)


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 4 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

We don't have a cat, but our dogs try their best to train us.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Very funny hub! There is no doubt who runs the house when a cat lives there. We can all relate to this one.

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