How to be a Rottweiler for a Day?
6:30-6:45am Lazily wake up. Roll over for a morning belly rub.
6:45am Get yelled at for following mom into the bathroom.
6:50am Wake up daddy with sloppy kisses. "Complain" about how mean mom was.
6:55am Go back to the bathroom door. Sigh heavily. Wait by the door practicing "life's unfair" look.
7:00am Wag your stubby tail, because neither the sink, nor the toilet has swallowed up your mom. She's alive!
7:05am Go out for a potty break, walk around the garden with mom. Attempt to chew on roses. Attempt to chew on peas. Attempt to chew on weeds. Complain when not allowed.
7:10am Go back inside for breakfast. Be a good girl, and sit very still when mom fills up the bowl with Canidae. Stare at mom with all the love in the world when she opens up a can of sardines to add to your bowl of food. Have your breakfast.
7:20am Wait for mom to finish morning coffee. Chew on a squicky toy, to make sure everyone is awake in the house.
7:30am Leave with mom to go to doggy daycare. Pass gas in the car. Look out the window, pretending you didn't do it.
7:45am Arrive to daycare and gather up luvs from everyone who works there.
7:45am - 4:00pm Play, sleep, play, sleep, play, sleep, play sleep, play.
4:00pm Get picked up. Gobble up the treat. Pass out in the back seat on the way home.
4:15pm Listen to mom preaching about the benefits of resting in a cool house, vs. a hot car. Agree that inside is better, and crawl out of the car. Quick potty break.
4:15-5:45pm Enjoy a delicious nap.
5:45pm Wake up to the sound of mom chopping up the treats for class. Get excited.
6:00pm Arrive to class.
6:00-7:00pm Enjoy every bit of a yummy hotdog that comes your way. Pick up every treat (and anything that looks like it could be a treat) dropped accidentally on the ground, and missed by your classmates. Be perfect Rottweiler self and show off.
7:00pm Go home tired. Insist you don't have to go potty.
7:15pm Look suspiciously at the dinner bowl. Complain it has no sardines. Finish it up anyway.
7:20pm When daddy gets home, act as if he just got back from a year long trip. Lick, wag, roll over, look happy,
7:30pm Make rounds - check on everyone in the house, make sure everyone is home and still loves you.
7:30-8:00pm Watch mom making dinner. Interrupt by insisting you HAVE TO GO POTTY. Don't take too long outside, just long enough for the rice to burn.
8:00pm Watch everyone enjoying their dinner, while chewing on a marrow bone.
8:30pm Go with mom to the bedroom, and read before sleep.
9:00pm Lights out. Pass gas.
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