Losing Kitty


I was responding to a comment in my Armageddon hub the other day and it bought to mind an incident that happened a few years after the Armageddon dream. This was written in one of my journals and I thought I would share it with you.

Kittys Demise

One cool autumn morning, one of my older sisters woke me from my peaceful slumber. She asked if I could baby-sit or so I thought, in my semi emergence from sleep. It didn’t dawn on me that she did not have a baby! I also forgot that I was meant to be working that day. Half asleep and still rising from the depths of my dream state, I agreed. Then proceeded to fall back to sleep. Only to be woken a few minutes later by weak little cries for mercy resounding in my ear.

I was up in an instant ready to tend to a little baby. Or so I thought. Staring at me was my older sister with concern in her eyes and a forced smile. She was cuddling a cute little kitty that could hardly have been a few days old. I found out that he was actually around three weeks old.

From what she told me, the kitty’s mother had abandoned her litter. It seems she had not been feeding them. For how long the mother cat wasn't feeding them, she did not know. Two other kittens from the litter had died, two were fighting fit and then there was the one she was holding ever so gently in her palms. My sister had made several attempts prior to coming to my house to place the kitty on the mother cat to feed. But the mother cat was not having any part of feeding and started growling and biting and clawing.

Musing over what seemed to be an unnatural act for a mother cat we wondered whether the maternal instincts leave after a certain amount of litters bought into our world. Mother cat had already had 7 litters. So perhaps that was why? We left our musing to concentrate on sweet kitty.

Together we desperately tried to gently hand feed the kitty. The poor little kitty had no energy to hold up his wee head. He had no energy to lap or suck anything we offered. We went to the vets and found they had a little kitten’s bottle, which we used to try and feed kitty. We tried many times, to no avail. Eventually nature had its way and the beautiful little kitty died, lying on my older Sisters chest.

For a while he struggled in uncomfortable pain trying to survive. Then he appeared to surrender and lay peacefully on my sisters’ chest. As we watched his breathing slow down he sighed one last very large sigh and was gone. I had only known the beautiful little kitty for a few hours yet in that short time he became a part of me. I along with my sister felt the loss. We wept for our loss.

About Loss

We felt the loss of the physical presence yet we were not aware of the transformation process occurring as we wept.

Since then, many experiences have shed more light and carved away some of the layers that cloak our awareness in illusion. Tuning into the transformation process has become a lot easier with time and practice.

Although loss of various kinds is still felt, when they occur, the power of loss loses its grip. It is now more of a nudge to be present.

Being present in the now is the most valuable lesson I have learned from loss both great and small both physically and emotionally. Being present awakens us to many processes we would otherwise be unaware of. Being present requires the inner and outer to “be” here and now.

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Comments 36 comments

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 3 years ago from New Zealand Author

Me too. Thanks Kim for stopping in.

Kim 4 years ago

i love cats they are so cool

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 4 years ago from New Zealand Author

Awww yes I understand all to well the moments and tears. Thanks for sharing.

Tari profile image

Tari 4 years ago from New Zealand

I read this and it reminded me of the little kitten I wrote of in my hub. Although I didn't touch too deeply on the loss as my story was more from humour, I too remember keenly trying to save our little Genius. I remember looking for a little kitty bottle at 10pm, finally finding one, trying to get the milk temperature right and spending all night drip feeding the wee mite. But the kitten already decided he was better off with God and so he went, quietly as he lay cupped in my hands. I remember his last breath, the quiet moment my sons and I shared as we buried his little body out in the back yard, the tears we shared... your hub was very touching.. and it got me all misty eyed in rememberance.. beautifully done..

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 4 years ago from New Zealand Author

Ah mother natures fountain of youth is second to none. How beautiful that she gets such freedom! Lovely to see you again. Thanks for dropping in my friend. Peace and Love.

epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

back to revisit this story my friend - and thinking about my own two best friends Little Miss Tiffy and Mister Gabriel - Mister Gabriel is my adopted cat - he is all white and deaf and Tiffy was my mum's cat and now is 17 and because she gets total freedom outside she still drinks from the fountain of youth - and here I am sending you warm wishes and good energy from lake erie time ontario canada 11:11am

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 4 years ago from New Zealand Author

Yes the memories do remain. Thank you.

DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 4 years ago

When I was growing up I was the last of four boys.My mohter and father had their share of dogs and cats.They had seen enough.So I would love my neighbors pets like my own and never had to clean up after them or take them to the vet.They have all passed away now but the memories remain fresh as new flowers that bloom every spring.I feel your loss but the time you spent with the kittens was special and will always be that way.Just a heart warming hub.

GClark profile image

GClark 5 years ago from United States

Another beautiful hub worth a Vote Up! Lovely story that brings back memories from my childhood of bringing home abandoned kittens, grown cats, puppies, birds with broken wings, etc. Thanks for sharing this tale. GClark

ThroughGlass profile image

ThroughGlass 5 years ago from London

my cat had a litter of kittens 6 months ago.

She abandoned one of the little girls in her small litter of 4. I had to nurse her, and hold her while she gasped and passed away in my hands, it was so sad. I cried, and buried her in my backyard. She was only a week old. Mama didn't want anything to do with her, it's like she knew there was something wrong right off the bat. The little baby always seemed to struggle from birth.

Thanks for sharing!. So sad

Carol Petretti profile image

Carol Petretti 5 years ago from California

Thank you for telling this story. Years ago we had a feral Mama cat bring her kittens to us. She lay down 4 feet from them, unable to care for them. She was very ill. We saved all but one kitten with the help of two of our other fixed female cats. The mother cat we had to trap and put to sleep she was to ill to save. Our two females surprised us by doing every thing for the kittens but feed them. My husband and I did the feeding, but bless their hearts they did try to feed them too.

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

Oh and what a pleasure it is to hear from you my friend. You are always very kind! OH yes all is well in my world as I hope it is with you. Thank you.

epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...well when I am in your world class writing presence I am always awakened by your intelligence and sensitivity - so nice to hear from you once again and I sincerely hope all is well with you these days - winter is here in Canada on this first day in December.

lake erie time ontario canada 3:00pm

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

writer20: Yes that is the way it seemed. Thank you so much for your vote!

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

What a beautiful story melovvy. Yes the joy of caring is forefront in my memories too as the years have passed.

writer20 profile image

writer20 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

Great sad story, I guess mama cat has had enough kittens in her short life and doesn't want any more. Vote up and beautiful.

Melovy profile image

Melovy 5 years ago from UK

I am so glad you left a comment on one of my hubs and followed me, because now I get to know you and read this amazing hub and comments. There is so much wisdom in here.

I was reminded of caring for a premature lamb a couple of years ago. With my sister’s guidance (she is the farmer not me) I had nursed this lamb till she was able to stand. We took her back to her mother for a short while. Mother and lamb were delighted, but the visit took a toll and a few hours later the lamb died. I had made the sentimental decision to name the lamb after my daughter who was born premature, so past patterns definitely reared up and I felt the loss keenly. Yet the memory that remains with strongest now is of the joy of caring for that lamb.

This hub is timely for me as a friend died three days ago after living with cancer for many years. Thank you for the compassion and wisdom within it.

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

Awww so glad to hear some survive Ardie. Thanks for stopping by and sharing.

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

Agreed no less intense. Thanks Kaismom for the feedback.

Ardie profile image

Ardie 5 years ago from Neverland

So sad I am near tears. My first cat ever was abandoned by her mama. I had to bottle feed her every 2 hours and keep her warm with a hot water bottle. Thankfully she survived because she was discovered soon enough. Its sweet you and your sister did what you could for the poor dear...

KaisMom profile image

KaisMom 5 years ago from Keizer, Oregon

That is a beautiful story and an astute realization. The value of a life isn't meant to be weighed. The package may be small but the desire to live is no less intense. Thank you. You made me think!

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

Thanks snakeslane

snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

Nice that you and your sister tried so hard to help the little guy. Regards, snakeslane

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

Thank you so much!

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

What a beautiful and tender hub which says so much about you.

I am voting up and bookmarking this one;thank you so much for sharing.

Take care and have a wonderful day.


pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

rwelton: That is sad that your wife wasn't allowed a pet as a child. It is the most wonderful gift a child can receive in my opinion. Better late than never however and I am so glad she was able to experience those connections one has with a pet!! Thanks for stopping in my friend!

rwelton profile image

rwelton 5 years ago from Sacramento CA

My wife was not allowed to have pets as a child, so when our daughter and I brought a kitten home, she bonded right away with the new "family member". Although you were only connected for a short while...it was a connection and the loss was painful. "Yes, it made sense". Thanks - Voted up.


pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

Thank you for your love and light. It is always a sweet embrace I enjoy. Yes I am sure you have experienced it more often than not!!

When we are fully present there is a shift in our awareness that focuses on the here and now. This awareness tunes in to the different energy patterns emerging and transforming from both physical and non physical things in the present. Some are subtle, some are very very intense depending on the level of awareness available.

The patterns of the past (at least most of them) dissolve into that present moment and we can perceive clearly the energy changes around us. Its a clarity that is hard to describe without misleading someone into a different direction altogether.

Loss loses its grip because the patterns of the past are not present to influence our present feelings of loss and whilst we may feel loss, it is a brand you experience. It enables us to still be aware of the subtle processes occurring (like the inner energy of the kitty leaving the physical and transforming) because we are not hindered by the heavier energy of past patterns.

Hope that made a little bit of sense.

Much love my sister and happy moving!

Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland

Sweet Sister, this was a very touching hub and an awesome story about life and death. I was wondering if you could explain a little more on the power of loss losing its grip through the process (I think I understand this, having gone through it myself so many times) But I am curious as to how you see it as a nudge to the present to be here and now. Take care and sending love and light as always!

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

Yes agree homesteadbound. Thanks for stopping in.

homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas

It is amazing how the little tiny creatures can bring out such deep feelings in us after such short periods of time. I think it brings out our own maternal instincts.

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

Happyboomernurse: Thank you for your kind comments. Glad you could stop in.

Lucky Cats: No need to apologize. It is amazing the things that touch us especially when little beings are helpless. Thank you again for taking the time to stop in and comment.

Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

Hi there pennyofheaven..I have to agree with Happyboomernurse..and I failed to say how touching is the way in which your sister held the kitten on her chest as it passed...just breaks my heart...I can't really say why these things touch me so deeply and actually cause hurt.. just a great love for the little beings. Bless the two of you for trying so dilligently to save that baby. Kind regards, and my apology for not completing my inner thoughts to you earlier..you deserve praise for all you tried to do. K

Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

What a sad, but touching story and I liked the way you brought it full circle to a lesson in loss. All we ever have is the present moment. It's a gift to be savored, even when we are experiencing losses great and small. Your sister and you loved that tiny, beautiful kitten and in the short time you gave her love, it helped bring the tiny kitten peace.

pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand Author

Yes indeed it was sad and I guess she was littered out. She wasn't spayed and I am not sure why but she never had any more litters. She disappeared off my sisters farm in the late 90% so I am guessing she slipped away to die. That's usually how they do it.

Thanks for stopping by.

Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

well, all I can say is this is very very sad. Poor babies...born and gone never knowing life..boy! This is tough. i hope mama cat is spayed, now..specially if she appears to be "littered out" and no longer interested in caring for babies....I've heard this can happen. Best of luck to you, mama cat.

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