The Mullet Made Him Do It: Round 2 with the ADHD American Eskimo Puppy

As the sun glistens over the shades and quietly and peacefully through my window, I awake. I lay there for a moment and enjoy the silence and my warm bed. I finally decide to move out of my warm bed and into the morning chill (well actually deep freeze) of our home because, as my fiance says "we MUST conserve on the propane".....Really? You'd think with the HUNTING that is done daily, he has hunted and gathered enough to make up for it. Nope, got one bird that has the chest size of a golf ball. Seriously, it is taking up room in my freezer (which is warmer than my house) in the right corner of a small sandwich bag...perhaps if we gather 86 more of these birds, we can feast on....oh I don't know....appetizers. Anyway, I digress. Let me paint the picture, I have on a tank top, a sweatshirt, ANOTHER sweatshirt, a pair of leggings, sweat pants, socks AND slippers....this is what I SLEPT in.....definitely will have to add one more layer to get through the day....well except for the 10 minutes we get to turn the heat on to "take the edge off".....let me tell ya, the edge ain't comin' off.

At any rate, I step into my home office, after Joe goes out on his daily hunting and gathering tour because he found "an awesome spot that was unknown to any other human being around....lots of bird there." He was good enough to feed all animals on the property including "Little ADHD Puppy", Timmy. I'm sitting here in the silence of the morning with my coffee (which is quickly cooling into an iced latte in the brisk morning air of our home), as I hear the shrill barking of a little white dog....that being my little Timmy {which I must go check on now because he is waaaay too quiet....Be right back...yes, he was on the dining room table and spritzing with water doesn't seem to have the same affect on him as it does on cats...annnnyyy whooo.... }. With every YAP YAP, a nerve in my neck twitches and I am near convulsions when I decide to bring him into the house.

I open the door, and by Gawd, its warmer out there than in here. Even with the frost on the ground, I am enjoying the sun bouncing off my back. I find my little "precious" animal completely entangled within my evergreens and rock garden. So, for the nearly 100th time (AT LEAST) I will untangle him and he'll once again be happy and start humping my shepherds tail....very charming for sure. I carry him in the door and set him gently on the floor. He tears off like its the first time he's been inside. Every cat must be hurdled, every transition between carpeting and tile must be concurred with an enormous leap into the air.

The first stop....to see if there is cat food left in any of the dishes. Nope. Poop in the litter boxes. Nope. A cat wanting to play. Nope. Well, I guess today the kitten is playing whether he wants to or not. My seriously sweet kitten is a white persian....to which Timmy thinks is a mop for the floor. This mop has a loose handle which we humans refer to as a tail. So, I must save my kitten as he's being dragged across the kitchen floor by putting him safely in the bathroom where he can rest comfortably.

All I can hear, as Timmy tears through the house, are the low growling of two other cats that really don't have a problem taking him down if they need to. He, of course, thinks that growl is an invite to play "pssssttt......come over here, we WANT to play with you, cute little puppy. Come on, lets play". Of course, the more they growl, hiss and swat at him the more the puppy pose comes out. My shepherd, who normally plays with him, is even worn out by this time and it's what? 9 A.M.!!! Well, that's this morning and thank goodness for the time change which occurred last weekend because 7:30 p.m. is when he goes to bed now.....less than 12 hours to go!!

But, let me tell you a story that even I think is hilarious. A few days ago, we were to be at my fiance's (Joe) child's "wax museum". We needed to be there for the 11:15 a.m. tour. About 10:45 Joe starts rounding up Timmy and Mia (the shep) to come in the house. Make sure Timmy has pottied and Mia is right behind. Perfect, we'll be on time and we have several other errands to run. Specifically and most importantly, my nails needed to be done. Timmy is on a yellow tie out that has seen better days. We have learned that it is not the BEST idea to allow him to run freely through the yard as we do the labs and Mia.

Joe walks over to get Mia who is standing by the pasture. Timmy takes a running leap off the steps and snaps the line. He is now free. When I mean free, I mean free to run over to Joe. But does he stop, nope. Into the pasture he goes. How much fun it must be to run through the ankle deep mud and MUCK, since its been raining for three days straight. How fun it is to run and antagonize the horses. Meanwhile, Joe is starting to fume....and thinking "My gawd if that little animal gets stepped on, I'm going to die myself....because Stimp will kill me." Joe is trying to "gain" control of the situation. Right? Ya, Right? Suddenly, Timmy stops, his bionic ears have heard something in the distance, he is snapping his face around in every direction to see what it could be...."what's that over there? Something shiney? Nope, it's a barn cat....my favorite squeak toy." He tears out of the muddy pasture, through the even muddier corral and into the barn. We're even more horrified when he goes in there because my barn cats have taken down opossums, this little animal will be "cake" for them.

Joe quickly follows....well running actually...behind in the hope of cornering the little animal as he tries to devour 9# of cat chow and play with the cats, who seem to enjoy his presence even less than the indoor cats do. Joe takes a leap.....yes, a leap, at him....slides across the floor but Timmy slips through his hands like a greased pig. Now, I'm getting ready for the wax museum and am wondering what in the heck is Joe doing "it takes him 3x longer to do anything." I fumed as I held my hands out to look at my ragged nails. Getting more and more agitated because my nail appointment was after the wax museum and we were cutting it close already. How could he be so insensitive to my needs, I thought. I glance out the window and I see a small white streak with a yellow string go by and Joe standing there with a smoke in one hand. Upon further inspection it was Timmy, with his lead which had snapped earlier, running past Joe.

Actually not just "running". It was the kind of running where they lower their tail and tuck their behinds underneath them for the sole purpose of being able to get full throttle propulsion out of the hind quarters. His ears are back and he's hauling you-know-what. Apparently, this was his method of movement throughout the 15 minutes of terror through the yard, pasture and barn. As always, when we get frustrated at our lack of being able to catch the little animal, we call in backup....the shep, Mia. Joe tells Mia to "go get him". She goes to get Timmy, catches him, takes him gently by the nape of his neck and takes him down for 2 points!! Good Job Mia, Joe praises as he walks up to get Timmy. He reaches down to pick up Timmy and Mia LETS GO!!! Dang it all!! Off the little greased pig goes again and the game is still on. This happened a few times, I guess. Somehow, and I'm not sure how, Joe did finally get ahold of the little animal and he was securely tied up again in the garage.

I walk out (of course I'd not heard the story yet), a little miffed because we are now running late and Joe is a mess...."what is wrong with you??!! We were supposed to have left 15 minutes ago". He starts mumbling some 4 letter words in regard to my precious pup. I look over at Timmy who is standing there wagging his tail, happy as can be to see me and looking like an oreo cookie with the mud, muck and white fur. I happily say "well, hi my little sweetie, you are such a sweet little boy aren't you? yes you are." Joe's mumbling continued well into the afternoon.

Meanwhile, the goat continued to eat premium horse hay out of the wheel barrel that was 20 feet away from the pasture with the horses looking on in horror, disbelief and sadness,(see other hubs on this one)

And, I have to wonder "is it the MULLET we made him wear for halloween that has caused us such a fuss?" I must end this story to go and put on some more layers of clothing. Thanks for your time.©

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Comments 8 comments

lovegodgirl profile image

lovegodgirl 6 years ago

awsome hub i love dogs to


Stimp profile image

Stimp 6 years ago from Upper Midwest Author

Thanks.


AshleyNikole profile image

AshleyNikole 6 years ago from Virginia

Another good one. Did you get my American Eskimo Hub? It has some info about bad breeders at the bottom. Love your hubs about your Marley pup :)


Stimp profile image

Stimp 6 years ago from Upper Midwest Author

AshleyNikole.....I will check it out fo sho!! I'm sure there'll be more of my Marley pup coming soon....the action with him never ends. But I love my little knuckle head.


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

I had a dog like this-I loved him,but hated detaching half the garden off his coat.


Stimp profile image

Stimp 6 years ago from Upper Midwest Author

Itakins: Yes, that is an issue. the issue I struggle with now is his insatiable energy. I got 'em, though. I won, I finally won!! I trained him on my treadmill tonight....he trotted for 15 minutes at 1.5 miles per hour and went .30 miles. He is one tired little doggy. And, he seemed to love the exercise. We have a ton of snow and nowhere for him to play.


TeaRish profile image

TeaRish 6 years ago

hahahhaaaaaaaaa!!! that was frickin' hilarious!!! good times with awesome pets...


Chaotic Chica profile image

Chaotic Chica 6 years ago

I LOVED this hub!!!!! You had me in stitches!! Oh, I sympathize with Joe because I would have been you! LOL I can't stop laughing and the mullet is just too much! LOL Two thumbs way, way up for this!

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