Memories of our Loved Ones

My little Tyson. He didn't get the time he deserved and the chance to grow old! Sometimes life just doesn't feel fair.
My little Tyson. He didn't get the time he deserved and the chance to grow old! Sometimes life just doesn't feel fair. | Source

Losing a loved One

Some people may be able to consider animals 'things' or 'tools', but those of us who invited them into our lives as companions and family members feel different.

We see the living creature, we see their soul, we see the love they give us, we see the true and unconditional friendship only an animal seems to be able to offer.

When we lose them, it's like losing a part of yourself! Like a piece is torn out of your heart! The pain and loss seems to tear us apart!

Only those of us who truly loved an animal as a friend and family member, can understand.

While we want to belief that we can love them like our human friends or family, we can't. Not because we don't love them enough, but because deep down inside we were raised with the standards and believes given to us by those around us.

Our love for our animal companions is no less than what it may be towards our human companions; it's just different!

In a way it actually may be stronger!

Maybe, because we know we can love them without holding back, without having to fear disappointment; full of trust and full of the knowledge that no human can give such true love in return!

And in the end the medicine for our grief, for our human- or pet loss, can be very similar.

Filling Holes

Some of us decide that we can't fill the spot or 'replace' those we lost and loved.

Others will adopt or rescue another pet and try to fill the emptiness with similar love and looking for the distraction a new pet can offer.

But if one does decide to find a new 'friend', the most important thing is to remember that this new friend cannot replace the one we lost!

It is important to not adopt for the wrong reasons. Animals are very receptive to what we feel and when our frustration kicks in at the disappointment of not being able to replace a lost love, the animal will know and feel the rejection.

It's not a replacement, and can't ever be, but a new life that comes into our homes!

It's important to remember that and allow the new 'friend' to become a truly valued and loved addition to the family.

Especially if it is a rescued animal that has come from a bad situation and has never known anything but rejection of that love it tried to faithfully give to those it considered its 'pack'!

We can't replace the lost ones. Nobody can bring them back to life!

We can either pretend to protect ourselves from future loss by not ever getting another 'friend'; or we can save a life and rescue another one. One we will love for who he/she is; not for the one we lost!

And we can look back and remember...

Remember

Remember when you brought your 'friend' home for the first time? Remember your first night together? Remember the things you did?

Having shared a life a pet parent has tons of shared memories; good and bad. The 'pet' will have had memories that may have caused fear of its owner or situations; or created at trust well earned. The parent will remember moments spend together, vacations, trips, walks, talks, fun, games, messes on the carpet, chewed shoes, scratched furniture.

But after one has lost this hopefully long-time friend, the bad things just don't seem that important anymore!

One looks back and remembers the things that made this friendship so special!

An animal's love is unconditional and freely given. We tend to turn to them when we ourselves feel angry, sad, lonesome, down.

Because we know they will listen to us, truly listen. They will feel what we feel and respond with that faithfulness and love to help us heal!

Those shared moments and beautiful memories are a gift that can't be taken away. And while our grief will not go away with the one we lost, those memories can make it lessen and make us value what we had; not what we don't.

And no matter if we do decide to add another 'friend' to our home and family, the most important thing to do is to move forward; and smile at the good things we had!

Moving forward

Some great things were born out of the terrible loss felt over the death of a beloved 'pet'.

Some amazing people have started rescues, foundations, sanctuaries; or simply started volunteering for organizations that help rescue.

If you aren't ready to chose another 'friend' or just don't want to risk falling in love again and losing maybe another, this may the avenue to go.

Especially if you only invite one animal into your life, the choice can be tough. You have to be able to 'click' with each other and know that you are mend to be together. There has to be this connection that too many often just can't see or understand.
Volunteering is a great opportunity to find that connection; and help animals in need while you are doing that!

Others may find the comfort in numbers; they have more than one animal and when one is lost, those others will suddenly become more attached.
Sometimes a cat or dog or else that before wasn't that attached to its parent will suddenly seek its parent out; like it is trying to fill the void and make up for the loss!
It helps bring the family closer together; especially if it is somebody rescuing seniors or those with health conditions that may cause an early death.

But no matter what you decide, remember to move forward; and if you do look back, look back with a smile!

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Comments 6 comments

Mitch Labuda profile image

Mitch Labuda 4 years ago from Toledo, Ohio

We had Reggie, who lived with us for 10+ years, leave on Saturday at 11:00 a..m. He back legs and hips, finally gave out and he passed quietly in my arms at the vets office. He is a friend, confidant, loyal and he helped us and others in our dog rescue to be dogs again.


Maddie Ruud profile image

Maddie Ruud 4 years ago from Oakland, CA

Thank you so much for this Hub. I lost my very first dog this weekend. He was so important to me through such difficult times that I'm having trouble coping with the loss.

And Mitch, I'm sorry to hear of your loss too. I'm sending comforting thoughts your way.


barry bowe profile image

barry bowe 4 years ago from Folcroft, PA

Interesting. I liked it a lot. And it gave me ideas to create my own post about the same topic.


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

I'm so sorry you lost Little Tyson he's was such a beautiful cat. Voted up and awesome,Joyce.

My stray ginger cat is letting me get closer to him now.


Cat R profile image

Cat R 4 years ago from North Carolina, U.S. Author

To Mitch and Maddie: I'm so sorry for your loss. Especially if you have been together with them for a long time, it is a hard blow. I try to tell myself that they had a good life and that they are in a better place now; but it doesn't always work. Especially when I take in Seniors, it is something to be expected, too often feared, and something one just can't get used to.

But since there are so many in need still out there, I seem to be signing up for the heartbreak again over and over.

In the end it is so worth the tears and grief when they go, because the great memories I have of them will overshadow that grief.

Glad you liked it, Barry. I'm sure there are more ways to cope with it out there and everybody reacts different to grief/finds different ways to deal with it.

Congratulations, Joyce. I know you 'guys' will be friends soon. I do ask that you make sure your Ginger Cat is fixed when you do become friends. It would be a shame if he produces more unwanted ones that would eventually die a horrible death in a kill shelter.

Thank you all for the great inputs.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Such a beautifully written hub and thank you for sharing.

Beautiful and sensitive;great words and thanks for sharing this gem with us on here.

Take care and enjoy your day.

Eddy.

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