My Deer Story

MY FUNNIEST LIFE EXPERIENCE

 On this particular day I had a tooth pulled in the afternoon and worked an eight hour shift in the evening. When the Novocain started wearing off I took a muscle relaxer for the pain in my mouth. At the end of the day I was spent and looking forward to getting home. While driving home very tired I noticed the car in front of me seemed to be falling apart with pieces of the bumper flying every where. All of a sudden a large deer flew into my lane; I had to swerve to avoid running over it. In a matter of split seconds I watched as this man pull to the side of the road.  Confused and appalled my mind questioned why someone would deliberately throw a deer out of a car. I immediately dialed 911 when answered I said “yes this is Jude” (like the world knows me by my first name) I started with my location. I told him I was driving north on Interstate 70. His response was “ma’am I70 doesn’t run north” at that specific time I drove past a sign that said I70 West; so I responded with “oh, 70 W –I’m driving west”.  He retorted with “what is your emergency?” I animatedly began to tell him how the man driving in front of me threw a deer out of the window of his car and caused me to almost wreck. As well, he now pulled over to the side of the road to pick up the evidence because he knows I am calling the police. I could not believe someone would be so sneaky. The officer said “are you sure he threw the deer out of the window?” I said “yes, I don’t remember the deer being strapped to the top of the car prior to it landing on the road”. Then the officer said “ma’am do you think maybe he could have hit the deer?” Talk about a light bulb going on! “I said hum - yea, maybe he did hit the deer! Yea… I think he could have hit the deer.” As I pondered this idea in my head I assured the officer “I do think that’s what happened! He hit the deer.”  I’m not sure if this guy was laughing but as I drove the rest of the way home I was relieved to know that someone wasn’t trying to kill me. The next morning I began telling a coworker of my experience. Apparently a deer running across the road at night getting hit is common there. But I was from Texas and the largest thing running across the road outside Dallas is an armadillo. As my coworkers listened and laughed uncontrollably Karen, whose brother was the Sheriff, gasped and said “you didn’t call the police?” As I confirmed this she asked “and at what point did you realize all of this in your head was the Darvocet talking?” I thought for a moment and said “right now”.   

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