Ode to the squirrel

Big Mouth Bandit

Ode to the rodent

Oh furry tailed rodents that suddenly appear,

With their shovels and baskets to collect what I fear.


My poor little bulbs that did nothing to you,

You take them and eat them the whole winter through.


I spent a day and fortune to make my palace enchanted,

Without thinking aloud what chatter you have ranted.


You call all your friends, family and spouse,

To take all the bulbs from this crazy ladies house.


She knows better then to think she is smarter then I,

She should know that I am cute but smarter so why


She plants them and thinks I can not get them out,

No matter how deep we will take them and she will pout.


She has tried every thing from pepper to spray,

But she knows that we will never go away.


So lady dear lady thank you for our winter feast,

We will throw out the roots for your useless beast.


Your dog tries to catch us and we are too quick for Jake

He barks and he growls but to him we will shake.


Our furry little tails as we take home our goods,

He will never catch us now or in any neighborhood.


Every year that you plant them, we will steal them again,

We thank you in advance for the trouble you spent now putting them in.


He is Cute and Clever

Why do they do it

I bought over 300 bulbs this year of many different species of flowers because I love them so much. I planted my Lilly's and to my surprise a few days later they started coming up. I had put mulch over them hoping the squirrels would not dig them up and they didn't.

So I was like ha the last laugh is on me you furry little rodents. So I planted two rose bushes on the side of the garage that faces the street along with all kinds of different bulbs because it was a very large space.

I covered it with mulch and a few days later I went out to find dug up holes and no bulbs. Of course I have many left to plant but my feelings were hurt.

Squirrels do not like bulbs one bit but anything that smells like fresh dug dirt, draws their attention thinking some other animal has hoarded nuts, fruit or berries. I would like to give them a bunch of nuts with some gin martini's attached. That would be funny seeing a drunk squirrel.

I tried cayenne pepper as stated but once it rains there goes another 20 bucks down the drain each time they bring their furry little families go upheave my bulbs.

We love them

My husband and I love any kind of animals and God knows we have a house full with four cats, a dog, two iguanas and two snakes and huge 55 gallon tank of fish. My day is filled with caring for all of these animals before I go to work. Why should I have to worry about a cute little rodent stealing my stash of bulbs.

We love the squirrels, we feed them and we have a big acorn tree out in the back yard that they always have a feast on then throw the hard shell in the pool. Yes we love them, think they are cute, we even rescued a baby at one place I worked feeding him cat milk and sending him to a squirrel sanctuary to live out the days of his furry tailed little life.

Nothing is fool proof

We all know that animals are smarter then people because they have survived decades and decades without us helping them. So what can you do? Let them enjoy their short little lives and hope that some of the bulbs are still left to grow.

I just decided to get some pots and start them in the house. They will be blooming before I plant them. I really think no matter what the animals rule the earth not humans.

No one realizes that rodents are the reason we have trees and plants. Along their path they dig holes and plant them and forget about them. Hence a forest grew and we chopped it down for our own greed. We ruined their homes so they ruin our bulbs.

I guess it's a fair war over time.

So how to stop them from digging up your bulbs

So now you want to know how to stop them from digging up your bulbs and sometimes you have to resort to war in order to stop them from eating your bulbs.

I bought some cellophane wrap and dug up the dirt and mulch I had put down. I planted my bulbs and mulched it some more, then put cellophane wrap over the entire area and tucked it neatly in the sides of the ground with cayenne pepper just in case they got through.

It sort of became a green house as I watered the area good before I covered it. Now there is two kinds of protection and they can't smell the dirt. I have won, so I thought.

That day they were sitting in my pine tree laughing at me and taking notes for the rest of the family to come watch the stupid lady thinking she had won.

When what to my wondering eyes appear, some furry little tails doing a jig on my freshly planted bulbs. They even left some turned up side down to show they had won.

They will steal more then bulbs

They really don't want them

You have to be as smart or smarter then the squirrel. You can't leave any trace of evidence that anything has been planted or they will get you good.

Instead of raking the dreadful leaves, use them as cover for your bulbs and remove the doubt that they will get to them.

It's really the only full proof method of getting them to stop stealing them.

Leave food in a feeder for them. If they are not hungry and have plenty to forage, then your bulbs may be saved. They will eat any kind of seeds. This has worked well in my garden area. More food for them means less likely they will steal the goods and invite the whole neighborhood of squirrels to join in the harvesting of bulbs.

You think they don't watch us? I had a walnut tree up north and it had gotten too tall to enjoy the nuts but the squirrels would eat them and throw the shells down directly on your head. Yes that is right they attacked me with my own walnut shells. Disbelief? Try it. Plant a tree and see if they won't attack you.

The Family That Steals Together, Stays Together

In conclusion

Those cute little furry tailed rodents, that everyone likes to see, except for my dog Jake, wreak havoc on most peoples gardens. We can only improve the quality of their life by feeding them high quality plants and bulbs.

The more expensive they are the better they will like it. So rock on little rodent, mama isn't mad at you anymore. I will keep planting and you will keep stealing and maybe in the end of this war I will get a few flowers in my beds. If not I will resort to buying plants that are already blooming. If I can't win the war maybe I should taste some of the bulbs I planted, after all we should always share with our neighbors.

Love to you. NOT!

More by this Author


7 comments

teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

That last squirrel pictured here is so cute! However, I am not so fond of them in my yard, as you mentioned, they do tend to dig up things. I enjoyed your article and glad someone out there finds these critters enjoyable.


Deborah-Diane profile image

Deborah-Diane 2 years ago from Orange County, California

Delightful poem! An I love the pictures and other info that went along with it!


Author Cheryl profile image

Author Cheryl 2 years ago Author

Your very welcome. I enjoyed writing it even if they stole my bulbs lol


wordswithlove profile image

wordswithlove 2 years ago from Pennsylvania, USA

Very entertaining, Cheryl - thanks!


Autumn 2 years ago

I think at some point anyone that has planted bulbs got robbed by a squirrel or two. Voted up this is so funny. You really are good at what you do. Up and AWESOME!


Author Cheryl profile image

Author Cheryl 2 years ago Author

Thanks Gwen this had to be funny or else lol


Gwen 2 years ago

This is so hysterical. Love to read your hubs.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working