Why Can't We Be Friends?

I looked at my girls playing in the yard. The “playing” seemed a little rough at times. My four year old doesn’t quite know what to make of her four month old sister yet. I think she’s happy but sometimes I think she wishes we would just take that new addition back to wherever it was we got her. But look at them now on the blanket on the grass. Oh yuck, just a minute, it sort of looks like Moki has found a dog poo. I hope it is a bone.

“You little weasel?!?! Gimme that NOW!” yelped Moki.

“Not yours!!!” laughed Zoey - keeping the desired fruit just out of reach.

“I swear when I get a hold of you, you will pay!! You’re nothing more than a rat! “ huffed Moki.

“At least I don’t eat poo! You poo-eater!!!” Zoey taunted, “AND you eat friggin’ road kill!!!”

“That one time! Look at you… your mother must have been a cow”, pouted Moki, turning her attention to the poo and giving up on getting the rawhide back.

“Hey!!!! Daddy!!!!! Daddy’s here!!!!” they both chimed in at the same time.

Yeah, it is poo. Gross. I guess I should’ve inspected better before grabbing it. I was so sure it was a dirty bone. It is not. Why do dogs even eat poo? I’m pretty sure it is because some dogs like the taste of poo. Period. People have argued with me that it is because of dietary needs or worms or the dog was sick or lacked a vitamin, etc. I don’t buy it. I think for the most part, some dogs just like poo, probably the ones that spend a lot of time licking their ass or sticking their nose in yours.

These dogs are always in competition. If the rat terrier has a bone then the husky puppy needs THAT bone. But that’s OK because the rat is more interested now in the dog toy that the husky has. So we switch items and they are happy for a few minutes. We’ve actually gotten the dogs to eat a few old bones the rat didn’t even want to touch before and those bones have been sitting around for months, maybe years. You just make the husky take it for a look see and soon enough the rat terrier, Zoey, thinks it is a prize and is whisking it away from the puppy. Then they back and forth with it until it is gone. Usually, the husky pup couldn't have cared less and is still reeling from a “WTF mate why did you stick this old rawhide in my mouth?” but now that the rat is interested that old rawhide is as good as anything dead and smelly lying in the road (or better even).

I think the rat is laying the groundwork with the taunting and wrestling, knowing this husky puppy is going to grow into a beast like her big brother Quin, who passed over the winter. Better to lay the law down now when the husky is small than having to do it to a 110lb full grown beast as she did with Quin. To that end, Zoey likes to taunt and barb her baby sister with rawhides that she keeps out of reach; or run around in the backyard with that husky pathetically trying to keep up and yelping high pitched yaps at her new big sister (who is already smaller than she is) to for the love of all things holy just drop that empty plastic water jug because for some reason she just really really needs it at this moment.

“I can’t believe daddy took my poo” cried Moki.

“Yeah, they don’t like you eating it. Maybe they want it all for themselves?” questioned Zoey.

“It is delicious” Moki agreed. “Now that it is gone though I can no longer fight my overwhelming desire to bite your back leg and neck.”

“I will so kick your ass” Zoey snarled, “bring it on!!!! I’ve been waiting to give you payback for eating both of my peanut butter dog treats this morning. Let’s go settle this up on mommy and daddy’s waterbed!!!!”

Oh Jesus, there they go. Into the house… what now? I think they are going to do their dog dominance fight scuffle thing. Why in the house? Hell, why on my waterbed? No doubt that is where they are going, to fight it out on my waterbed. The two of them tussle constantly. Why can’t they just be friends? I wonder if they wonder about it? Just stop the power struggle and lay down in the yard with our stockpile of bones?

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Comments 2 comments

Rasta 6 years ago

The puppy is a beautiful dog!The other one, not so much.


bballbeadle 6 years ago

Nice piece! I am jealous of your doggies' friendship. I have an established cat with a juvenile cat. There is very little frolicking, and more hissing and batting. Art says they're having fun, but I'm pretty sure I see pure hate in their eyes.

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