A Tribute To Regretsy

Regretsy is a blog displaying craft disasters and awful handmade items found on Etsy. April Winchell, the founder of the blog and the Regretsy concept (“where DIY meets WTF”), amused millions with her hilarious satire on items that could only be described as plain weird, badly made or disgustingly freaky.

On Etsy, users are only permitted to make nice comments on each other’s artwork, which makes for a very polite website – but Winchell wanted to unleash free speech on some of the weirder works, such as felted placentas, corn poo soaps, bad bubble gum paintings and merged animal taxidermies, for the world’s amusement. In 2009, Regretsy became a sensational internet phenomenon for crafters, with 96 million people visiting the blog within 72 hours of its origination.

Many of the creators of the spotlighted items suddenly received lots of extra traffic and international attention and even today, Regretsy items can be bought on Etsy and Ebay as replicated craftworks or original Regretsy items at phenomenal prices. Unfortunately, in February 2013, the Regretsy blog stopped publishing new finds due Winchell’s increased workload and an issue with Paypal.

This hub is a tribute to April Winchell’s Regretsy and its readers, who have created a truly marvellous achievement in creative web entertainment, while underlining the importance of free speech in internet commentary.

I guess the reason for this is that the world just doesn't have enough diseased vagina paintings.
I guess the reason for this is that the world just doesn't have enough diseased vagina paintings.

Angry Vagina Oil Painting

By Danielalopresti

Next time you have an STD or a vaginal infection, why not paint a picture of it to hang on the lounge room wall? It would make a good feminist statement – if you want to offend everyone in the vicinity.

Apparently it is an “amazing original piece” created as part of a Vagina series. The only other one in the series I could find was a Vagina On Acid. Maybe it would be easier to create the artwork by sitting on a palette and transferring the paint to the canvas for a more realistic effect.

You just can't get Halloween soaps like this.
You just can't get Halloween soaps like this.

Bloody Not-So-Eerie Fingers Guest Soap

By Agonysdecay

Just in case your guests were scared by the sight of real blood, you can use these fake bloodied finger soaps to give them a little tiny weeny scare.

Perfect for hiding in your bathroom on Halloween, because let’s face it, they just aren’t that scary. Apparently they are handmade from pure vegetable glycerine soap and you can get them in a range of colours.

Flattened Barbie Head Brooches

By RaroArt

These brooches are good examples of downcycling – where you take something that functions OK and make it worse than the original. At first I thought the Barbie face was meant to be “artistically” stretched, but it turns out it is just a side effect from inserting a pinback button in the back of poor Barbie’s head.

According to the seller “the hair is cut and acrylic varnish [is] applied to the skin to protect from smudging”. I’m just glad the seller isn’t my hair stylist!

Would you pay $28.65 for any of these?
Would you pay $28.65 for any of these?
The name of this ring confused me...at first I thought it was something you put on your leg.
The name of this ring confused me...at first I thought it was something you put on your leg.

Adjustable Leg Ring

By ilovestrangethings

Supposedly shaped like legs, this ring is sure to impress – when you are not wearing it.

Shine a torch behind it to make shadows, and you'll see some unusual, alien things.

On the finger, it just looks a bit silly, like a wonky inner bike tube with a nail in the end, made in silver.

The seller went to a lot of trouble creating the concept, based on the fact that she was a rhythmic gymnast as a child and “this piece is a result of years of pointed dancer toes”.

But she needn't have bothered - it's better off as a spidery sculpture. Or maybe a Halloween napkin ring.

At $42.41, you might be better off making your own strange plant.
At $42.41, you might be better off making your own strange plant.

Whatsit Wall Art

By HermanMarie

It has charm, in it’s own, minimalist way. But is it a man with his nose sticking out and holes in his head?

Or is it a game where you break off the nose bit and try to feed it through the holes?

Apparently, it is supposed to be a “strange plant”, maybe a cactus.

Made of wood and acrylic paint in the seller’s favourite colours, it would be an addition that never quite fits in to any home.

Message to cats around the world subjected to this indignity - "Just say no".
Message to cats around the world subjected to this indignity - "Just say no".
Crocheted cat toy sperm and a pretend bloodied cat toy tampon.
Crocheted cat toy sperm and a pretend bloodied cat toy tampon.

Crocheted Cat Toy Penis

By Meowadays

The idea for this handcraft defies description here, but firmly belongs in the nasty category of animal humiliation.

Why anyone would want to watch their cute moggy playing with personal human body parts, poo and body liquids is beyond comprehension.

You can’t help but feel very sorry for the poor cat in the photo, being forced to use the “wiener cat toy” which is “made with certified 100% organic catnip”.

The seller also creates crocheted cat toy bloodied tampons, cat toy sperm, cat toy poo, dog toy poo, crocheted Christmas penises and other disgusting items that are probably best remaining in the seller's mind.

I'm sure you'll agree that this "craft" looks like the seller is trying to palm off leftovers to some gullible idiot.
I'm sure you'll agree that this "craft" looks like the seller is trying to palm off leftovers to some gullible idiot.

Taxidermy Oddity Mink Bones & Moss Home Décor Vase Candle Holder

By MACsOddities

If you don’t have enough candle holders in your home, you could always buy this one at $28.65 in a desperate attempt to establish your bad taste.

A nod to the taxidermy category of Regretsy, this useless looking glass cylinder vase apparently comes with “real mink bones inside, along with 5 different varieties of moss”.

Lauded by the seller as being “one of a kind”, it probably is due to the fact that no one would want to buy it.

As a special bonus, the seller includes a candle for illumination.

Vote Now!

Would you consider this giraffe to be "art"?

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Giraffe Green

By Thegoodmachinery

A “decorative figure” the Giraffe Green is hand painted in colours guaranteed to make your eyes hurt and your house uglier. A note from the seller says “these figurines are not meant to be used as toys” and that’s a relief, because who would want to fork out $137.54 for a child’s toy, even if it is hand painted?

This is the world of wild art, where the seller loves animals…in all the wrong colours.
This is the world of wild art, where the seller loves animals…in all the wrong colours.
Why the octopus? Why the eyes? It just doesn't make sense.
Why the octopus? Why the eyes? It just doesn't make sense.

Octopus Eyeball Creature Business Card Case / Wallet / Ipod Nano / Cigarette Case / Earbuds Case

By Sweetheartsinner

Wow, just look at all the uses this thing has! It’s almost like a metal case you can buy and decorate yourself! And add extra exclamation marks to prove it!!!

The seller goes to great pains to point out that it is “handmade by me and brand new – you won’t find this design anywhere but here because this is a SHS original!” They then go on to detail exactly which piece of ID or coins or cash or how many smokes etc that can fit into this marvellous artwork. Just say no.

Fries With Eyes earrings.
Fries With Eyes earrings.

Vintage Retro Bright Soft Yellow Crazy Fun Cluster & Antique Gold Tone Vintage Clip On Earrings Set

By BlueSparrowVintage

If the name doesn’t confuse you, then these earrings sure will! The artist has managed to get a vat of spongy yellow fries and merge them with eyes and make earrings with them. Actually, that’s what they should be called – “Fries With Eyes Earrings”.

But nevermind, I digress. This “fun” cluster apparently was not created by the seller, but was possibly made in the early 1950s-60s by an unknown craftsperson. The backs of the earrings are heavily aged and tarnished. Next!

Was it practise or "art"?
Was it practise or "art"?

Cat With Missing Face

By DoManuk

A very exciting development in the world of cats is this painting – where viewers can attempt to find the cat’s face.

Just hang it in your house and watch the fun begin.

The seller was so excited about this work, that they remarked “Oil on canvas, 39 x 48cm” and priced it for $188.98 which seems somewhat extravagant.

One is left wondering “but you don’t get a face with that!”

Suprising, the seller actually has some other decent items in his store. He must have a had a bad day when he created this one.
Suprising, the seller actually has some other decent items in his store. He must have a had a bad day when he created this one.

Twisted Antiqued Copper & Aluminium Wire Cuff

By TwistedCopperPC

From the sound of the seller’s description, he’s obviously put a lot of work into this one, what with all the dipping, hammering, tumbling, writing, finishing, waxing, beading and other methods.

However, I am disappointed to report that while it is the seller’s favourite piece, it looks like something an eight year old crafter attempted before they figured out they’d never wear it.

The seller mentions that “copper cuffs and rings have been said to help some individuals suffering from arthritis feel better after only a few weeks of wearing them”, which adds up to an attempt to sell you an ugly bracelet for $51.58.

The seller makes a whole range of "Twisted Teds" that probably wish they had been made into something else.
The seller makes a whole range of "Twisted Teds" that probably wish they had been made into something else.

Twisted Ted Zombie Teddy Bear

By Chailleux

You have to be a certain kind of person to be attracted to this bear. Maybe you watched a massacre once, or visited a Hostel.

Either way, this Zombie Teddy is sure to shock others, though no doubt you can cuddle up to it for comfort late at night after a good horror movie or breakup.

I’m glad to see the seller says “this is a piece of art not suitable for children” and even gladder that it “comes with its own certificate of authenticity” just in case they start pumping them out in China for everyone.

Dinosaur Terrarium

By Run2theWild

If you have a kid who likes dinosaurs, you can either spend $51.58 to get one of these (with the live Kentucky moss inside), or just simply cut open a $2 toy dinosaur and put in a jar. Then fill the jar with garden bits.

So easy a kid could make it.
So easy a kid could make it.
Imagine wearing this down the street to start a new fashion trend! You'll be the biggest dolt around before you can say "knitted beards just don't work".
Imagine wearing this down the street to start a new fashion trend! You'll be the biggest dolt around before you can say "knitted beards just don't work".

Bearded Beanie

By KnittingOleBag

Going to hold up a petrol station or McDonalds but don’t have the requisite balaclava or fake beard on hand?

Well now you can buy the pattern and knit it yourself in preparation for the raid.

Never mind that it is more time consuming and expensive than the real deal – this way you’ll look as fake as they come and security cameras will be able to see most of your face if you’re silly enough to buy and make this.

Paper Collage Postcard – Surreal Mystery Man Eyes

By Dadadreams

Part of a Postcards From The Edge series, this “collage” does not seem arty enough for its price tag.

Sure, the artist went to an immense amount of trouble of cutting out a strip of eyes and gluing it onto a postcard, but there could have been more thought put in.

Apparently it’s “a fun work of art” and “bits of ephemera [are added] to vintage postcards”. What a load of codswallop.

Here's a tip - give any kid two postcards and ask them to make one. They'll do something more interesting...

Maybe it's meant to symbolise something?
Maybe it's meant to symbolise something?

Very Strange Flower Brooch

By KidsInNagano

Now, I don’t want to pick on kids in Nagano, Japan, but this brooch is a little bit weird.

Its eyes are not colour co-ordinated properly and it doesn’t grab me as something I’d want to pin to my cardigan.

I agree with the seller that it is a “one of a kind, handmade, unique plush brooch”, but that’s about where it ends, because I don’t think it would make a “great present for someone”.

Collect a whole wall full of these to hang in the shed to impress your hunting mates. Or not.
Collect a whole wall full of these to hang in the shed to impress your hunting mates. Or not.

Mummified Fetal Pig

By Superseller2

If you’re a collector of animal foeti or simply bored with filling your house with nice Etsy things, why not check out this “awesome little guy with no odour”.

Makes a great ornament on the coffee table and a novelty screaming point for guests.

The good news is that the seller is recycling waste from the farm fishing and science industries. So instead of being put on the garden, Fetal Pig is now treasured forever.

Where are the eyes?
Where are the eyes?

Kawaii Poo Moustache Charm Necklace

By PeeWeesClayHouse

A “hand sculpted” polymer clay necklace charm that will add “the perfect touch of whimsy to any outfit”.

I mean, poo just isn’t the same without a moustache on it for that extra kick. Pair with khaki pants and a colostomy bag for maximum impact.

If you are a crafter and have not read Regretsy, you’re missing out on a hilarious read!

I bought the book in 2010 and it’s the most amusing craft related book I own. It’s also one that’s fun to re-read occasionally – and to inspire yourself in avoiding creating bad handcrafts.

All crafters have a collection of items that didn’t turn out quite right – but the ones in Regretsy are so bad, you’ll wonder why they were created at all - and why the creators thought they could actually sell these things online.

There's also an insightful and witty section at the back where the sellers comment on being chosen for Regretsy, as well as describing their weird items in more detail. This book is a fantastic gift idea for any type of crafter, and will keep them amused for years to come.

© 2014 Suzanne Day

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Comments 18 comments

BigBlue54 profile image

BigBlue54 2 years ago from Hull, East Yorkshire

You know they say it's wrong to take drugs, well here I think you can see why this is not true in all cases. These people should really be on something. Very strong sedatives comes to mind.

The Beard Beanie I had seen before. If you don't mind I will have to excuse myself from the joys of owning my very own mummified pig fetus. Having said that if I decided to remodel my homes décor and go for the ever fashionable abattoir look I will come a-knocking.

Thanks for the Hub Suzanne. Definitely an interesting way to start your week. Now I am off to drink very strong alcohol until all these pictures have gone away. :(


Suzanne Day profile image

Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia Author

Thanks BigBlue54 - I kept finding weirder and weirder ones as I went in. They all ended up in the WTF category!


sallybea profile image

sallybea 2 years ago from Norfolk

Suzanne Day

I did not know what I had been missing all this time !

All I can say is that I am grateful that none of my own creations were doomed to end up there! Sometimes it is really hard to come to terms with the fact that some people can make money out of anything. The trick is knowing what to make to end up with all the dosh.

Oh well, one can live and regret - great Hub - thanks for sharing.

Sally


beckisgiftguides profile image

beckisgiftguides 2 years ago from Indianapolis, Indiana

I had forgotten about Regretsy! Some of these are positively terrible, but oh, so funny! Makes you wonder if the creators did them just to make people laugh, huh? Voted up, FAI.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

Oh my goodness....this is just too strange for a Monday morning. LOL...thanks for sharing this one.


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

Although I've unintentionally done my own regretsy homemade items here and there, nothing compares to these! Funny stuff!


BigBlue54 profile image

BigBlue54 2 years ago from Hull, East Yorkshire

Maybe your in need of some strong drink as well. I'll share mine with you if you like, we can both drink ourselves into oblivion. :D


Suzanne Day profile image

Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia Author

OK you've talked me into it. Free Hubpages drinks to those who visit the Tribute To Regretsy page. And a bottle of virtual hard spirits for anyone who buys the weird teddy bear!


grand old lady profile image

grand old lady 2 years ago from Philippines

Regretsy has a really interesting concept for her blog, and I plan to follow her. We all have our regretsies. I regretsy the fact that Regretsy thought of her blog first.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

This is so funny , some of those things are just downright crazy and the asking price. I bet there are people out there stupid enough to pay as well. My wife is an Etsy member and has a shop there...she'll find this hilarious. thanks for sharing Suzanne.


Susan Recipes profile image

Susan Recipes 2 years ago from India

Great share Suzanne. Thanks for sharing. Voted up and interesting.


Solaras profile image

Solaras 2 years ago

Thanks for sharing; I had never heard of Regretsy before. Enjoyed the horror.


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Interesting and beautiful creations


ChitrangadaSharan profile image

ChitrangadaSharan 2 years ago from New Delhi, India

This is so unique and interesting! And creating something like these is also a talent, although of a different kind.

I had not heard about this before and thanks for sharing this in the form of a hub.

Thanks and voted up as interesting!


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 2 years ago from California

Love, Love this!


Sheri Faye profile image

Sheri Faye 2 years ago from Chemainus. BC, Canada

OMG....so funny! I heard about regresty after it had closed and wondered what it was all about. Those cat toys! Thanks for the chuckle and well written!


vespawoolf profile image

vespawoolf 23 months ago from Peru, South America

I´ve never heard of regretsy, but browsing these photos gave me a laugh this morning! Some of them are downright disgusting! Beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder.


MarleneB profile image

MarleneB 14 months ago from Northern California, USA

What were they thinking? I may be out of touch with reality so when you mentioned the term, "downcycling" I almost fell on the floor laughing. I'm still chuckling now as I type this. This is a fun tribute to a blog that surely generated a lot of good and hearty laughs.

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