Chainsaw Carving a Bear and how I carve.
Yes...I did it! I never even gave it a hug! It looked half dead anyway with many limbs broken off from a storm. I took my trusty chain saw and attacked the tree with vicious orgasmic swipes! As the massive trunk fell, I envisioned hippies jumping off the limbs and calling me a killer!
I raised my chainsaw in the air and shouted,"Victorious....Oh brothers of steel!" Then I had lunch....egg salad and chips....while sitting on my kill. I began to ponder my act of environmental abuse. I became guilt ridden as I munched on the last of my Pringles chips.
My soul cried out to be redeemed as I finished my Pepsi. That's it ....I shouted with glee...I will carve this tree into a monumental piece of art. I shall carve a Bear! I felt my guilt leave as I dropped my Pepsi can into a rabbit hole.
I went and got some more tools....an air grinder....12 inch Craftsman trusty little chain saw...wood files....wood carving tools....hatchet....hammers, etc.
I cut the main outline of the bear with the big chainsaw and went to work on the details with the little saw. The more I carved...the more I felt redemption!
When I finished carving, I sealed the wood with a mixture of half shellac and half mineral spirits. Then I painted my bear.
I stood back and shouted behold......Shaquille O'Neal? Shit....my bear looks like Shaq! I started laughing and wondering if I should put a Sun's jersey on the bear.
Maybe next time....I'll carve Shaq and it will look more like a bear?