How to sharpen a pencil

What a sharpener may or may not look like...

If you find a pencil sharpener that looks even remotely like this I would't buy it. Nor should you.
If you find a pencil sharpener that looks even remotely like this I would't buy it. Nor should you.

How to sharpen a pencil

 Firstly, you will need to purchase a sharpener. The type of sharpener will depend on the size of your pencil. Then again you could just throw a polar bear at someone and borrow theirs...

When you have bought a pencil sharpener (or borrowed one) then you can progress on to what has been called by some philosopher,'The most beautiful craft performed by outstanding wizards of pencil sharpeners.' So let us move on to this stage. *

You must first raise your pencil towards the large hole at the end of the sharpener and slowly, as to not sleep and poke your eye, insert it into the hole. When you have pushed the pencil as far as it will go into the sharpener you may start the next and most demanding stage. The turn.

To prevent causing injury you may wish to do some stretches but that is entirely your choice. Line up your hand about halfway along the pencil, gripping firmly but not to firm, and grasping the sharpener with a strong grip to prevent it turning and acheiving nothing.

You should then slowly turn the pencil in your hand in a smooth constant movement whilst pushing gently towards the sharpener to gain maximum sharpenege.

If you have followed all of the instructions above you should have a sharpened pencil and sharpenings (You could eat these if you so wish). Congratulations!

* I say this was a philosopher but I just made it up. Could have been said though...who knows?

Note: There are many ways that you can make this procedure even more fun (Is that even possible?!). For example you could perform this act whilst eating noodles in a submarine or whilst beating up black bears with your hands tied. Try some, experiment and let your imagination run wild and mention any brilliant ones below...

Comments 3 comments

Ultimate Hubber profile image

Ultimate Hubber 5 years ago

LOL!

Looking forward to other detailed hubs on such useful topics! :)


marellen 5 years ago

Crazy.....I am smiling though.....


PersonalPencils profile image

PersonalPencils 5 years ago

very interesting..

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