Don't fink and drive
It's OK. Our lips are sealed.
Can you keep a secret behind the wheel? Does the power of all-wheel drive, that new-car smell, and the exorbitant cost of gasoline make you want to spill your guts? We're here to help.
Keep your cool
When the pressure builds and you just want to blurt out the combination to your gym locker or the last 4 digits of your Social Security Number, armpits can get sweaty. Apply a few strategic swipes of Secret Deodorant before it's too late. It comes in many handy scents, all of which coordinate nicely with that new-car smell.
Keep a few scents in the glove compartment. When you're pulled over by a well-meaning officer inquiring as to your knowledge of local speed limit regulations, you'll need it.
Nature's Secret Weapon Cat Urine Odor Remover
A recalcitrant cat or mink can ruin the new car smell of your new car. This handy concoction leverages the secrets of nature to restore your Corinthian leather to factory specifications.
It's not your secret. Don't feel bad about telling it.
James Bond Tea Mug
No one keeps a secret better than 007. This mug provides inspiration to aspiring covert operators and it fits in your cup holder. Cruise confidently to your cubicle-based vocation while sipping Earl Grey and dreaming of saving the world. We won't tell anyone.
Greg Norman's Secret
He's a pretty good driver and he has a secret. For whatever reason he's sharing his secret with all of us on Amazon.com. It looks like something that might help you tune the radio more efficiently or perhaps adjust the rear-view mirror at highway speeds.
Order a couple and put one on each hand. Go for a drive. Let us know if Greg's secret is worth keeping.
Escort Passport Radar/Laser Detector
Highway enforcement officers ensconce themselves secretly. They reveal themselves when it's too late for you and your insurance rates. Stock up on Escort Radar/Laser detectors in all your vehicles. Some secrets should be open.
Undercover Secret Sleeve for Laptops, iPad & MacBooks
Feel free to be ashamed of your laptop, iPad, or MacBook. Tuck it into this ingeniously designed protective carrier to disguise your reputation from prying eyes. It looks like a gnarled manila envelope but it protects like a fresh new manila envelope. Secreted inside are custom-engineered Velcro straps virtually guaranteed to swaddle your electronics.
Secret Message Invisible Writer Spy Pen
Doodle away the hours stuck in traffic while maintaining strict secrecy. This ideal writing device emits invisible ink. It's perfect for jotting down the license plate numbers of people who pass you on the right or cut you off at the roundabout. A flashlight tip reveals your scribblings at opportune moments. 6 year-olds and CIA agents will love it.
Order a dozen for your next birthday party or Trilateral Commission conclave.
Want to know more?
- Don't Ink and Drive
Stay safe on the road with this simple advice. Resist the urge to ink-up.
- Don't wink and drive
Life goes by pretty fast: if you wink, you might miss it. The same goes for driving.
- Don't think and drive
Keep your eyes and your brain on the road. Don't get distracted by external stimuli. You need all your synapses to arrive safely.
- Don't Stink and Drive
Don't let your car stink up your personal life. These products can help.
- Oprah Says Hang Up and Drive
Deep Thinker Oprah Winfrey wants us to hang up and drive.
- Don't Prink and Drive
Prinking while driving just might be the worst thing you can do behind the wheel. We're here to help, and we're not from the government.
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