Top 100 Ugliest Motorcycles - 10 Sportsbikes
1) KTM 1190 RC - It takes a lot in a category as packed with as much grotesquery as Sportsbikes to reach number one, but this KTM truly deserves it. The fairing resembles broken slabs of bakelite that were pop riveted back together; the seat is insufficient for the most anorexic waif; the miserable excuse for a rear fender is a joke; the fuel tank has more angly bumps than any part ever should; the exhaust system peeks out like a salamander from under a rock; and in a sportsbike universe of ugly headlight treatments the Katie's takes the cake. KTM, I salute your bald faced chutzpah in building this expensive pile of manure!
2) Buell Firebolt - Hey, I'm not a complete Buell-hater! I actually had some good things to say about the styling of the BatBuell 1125CR. If you have to have a Dark Knight theme, then I think that bike pulled it off just fine, batwings and all. But there really is no excuse for the Firebolt, which combines the "just ran into a guardrail" engine scrunch with a pokey, droopy dual eyed fairing that would look better on a snow sled. Is there anything at all that's even remotely acceptable in the styling of this bike? No!
3) Ducati Paso - When you first set eyes on this monstrosity, your first reaction is to determine whether this is a bike with a red raincover on it, or if someone actually had the massive bad taste to drown a motorcycle with this much clunky bodywork resembling pop riveted Fisher Price! Unfortunately the latter is the right answer, and the Duck Paso has gone down into motorcycling history as one of the most covered-up and ugly bikes ever made!
4) Suzuki Hayabusa - If the fact that it is probably the most outrageously overpowered and dangerous production motorcycle wasn't enough to make me hate it, Suzuki's so called stylists certainly went the extra mile to max out the DespicaDyno. We've got two, count 'em two, stacked side scoops on the fairing with the top one being compound; an earmuffed front fender; a headlight that seems to ooze like molasses out of its setting; insipid vents around the bizarre turn signals; a cannon ram rod as an exhaust; and a molded "Big Jugs" breast where the pillion seat should go. I wonder if that Japanese character on the fairing means SUCKER!
5) Triumph Street Triple - Decked out in green bodywork to resemble Shrek's Snot Rag, this misbegotten bucket of bolts does absolutely everything wrong in what passes for its styling. The double bug eyed headlight squats under a big plopped pile of ogre mucus, the fuel tank seems to have been pushed back until it's vertical, the side covers are really the fender or are they really the seat base, the headers are a convoluted mess, and it just goes to prove that Triumph's last decent bike was the Bonneville.
6) Kawasaki ZX-14 - Didn't anyone at Kawasaki ever learn that less is more? Could they possibly have junked up this already ugly bike with any more cheap pinstripe flames? What is it with this styling trend that every sportsbike has to look like it's screeching to a halt and leaning forwards? And what is that corrugated red stripe slashing the fairing asunder? If the intent was to make the front of the fairing look like a Virgin Galactic space plane, they missed by a mile, just like the rest of this thoroughly bungled bike.
7) Honda DN - I have to confess I really don't know what this DN is supposed to be. It's got the swoops of a sports bike, but when you look at the ergonomics, it's got the seating position of a cruiser. It's even got some weird sort of footboards, for cryin' out loud. if they made the muffler any bigger they could just hide the whole bike behind it! And is that windshield supposed to deflect even one mosquito? All of the rest that I see is just lumps and bumps and angles that don't add up. I think DN stands for Do Not buy!
8) Honda Fireblade - Although somewhat more "conventionally" styled than the head-scratching DN, there is more than enough ugly sauce to adequately baste on this Fireblade. Why not just stick a shovel blade from the rear of the tank, pad it with a bit of vinyl and call it a seat for two? The fairing sets new standards for bugliness with its counterintuitive vertical orientation, and the huge black shrouding on the undercarriage that nearly swallows up the muffler is just horrific. This is the perfect bike to run over with a steamroller.
9) Suzuki SV - An original dweller of the Top 10 Ugliest List, this aerodynamic snowplow vividly demonstrates everything that is wrong with modern Japanese styling. From the ridiculously upswept two step seat all the way up to its ferret nosed dual headlight front droop, this is one incredibly ugly motorcycle. As I stated before, there is one good looking thing on this bike and it's the engine. So, of course, Suzuki did everything possible to shroud it, including the pointy plough at the front. Can you even tell it's a V-twin? Shame on you Suzuki!
10) BMW K1 - Ok, let's try to disregard the hyperthyroid bumblebee paint job, and try to look around the misshapen giant K1 that doesn't exactly overlap correctly over the front fender. But what the heck is that fender anyway? it looks like someone threw a garbage bag over the front wheel! And what fanatic maniac designed the rear bodywork? Too spindly and see-through under the front seat, and uber flabby on the rest! A complete pile of Teutonic Trash!
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