The Model Line-up Of The New Merged GM & Chrysler: Part VIII - Saturn

2009 Saturn Aura $22,430

In Europe, the Vauxhall / Opel Vectra is a large executive / family car. Saturn has tried to convince its North American customers that just by slapping a Saturn emblem on the grille, this car can serve as the smallest sedan in its lineup and its dead wrong. Even the version with the smallest engine, the 2.4 litre four banger is too much car for an entry level Saturn. Can you spell S-M-A-L-L C-A-R?

KILL

2009 Saturn Aura Hybrid $26,015

You've already got the Malibu Hybrid that is a Hybrid effectively in name only, why bother plunking that inefficient, heavy and borderline pointless system in a Saturn as well?

KILL

2009 Saturn Outlook $30,320

I think I've written this at least a couple of times so far… It's a Chevrolet Traverse with a different badge! Who needs it?

KILL

2009 Saturn Sky $27,320

Out of all the cars in the Vauxhall / Opel lineup, Saturn decided to import this monstrosity to serve as its convertible sports car? They don't even sell it in Europe any longer as it turned stomachs across the continent. How could they pass by the practical, economical, fun and sporty Vauxhall / Opel Tigra in favor of this mutation? Despite its Pontiac Solstice underpinnings, this is one excessive and profoundly butt ugly car that deserves to die.

KILL

2009 Saturn VUE $23,050

Here's where logic goes right out the window. The 2009 Saturn VUE is absolutely nothing more or less than the 2009 Vauxhall / Opel Antara. However, at some point while the vehicle is being transported across the Atlantic, the pricetag virtually evaporated! The VUE that you can buy for $23 grand is exactly the same vehicle that you'd have to shell out well over 40,000 Euros for across the pond: A staggering $55,000! This is nothing more or less than highway robbery on the part of GM Europe, and thus I have to reluctantly recommend that it be kept, if for no other reason that it's such an amazing (relative) bargain!

KEEP

2009 Saturn VUE Hybrid $27,930

GM has really only made about three or four of these just to state that they have a Hybrid VUE. No one in reality has ever really owned one, so since it's effectively illusory, let's kill it. It may really never have existed anyway!

KILL

Saturn was thoroughly disemboweled by the fanatical, unnecessary, and wholly destructive tinkering of the GM execs until it is now not even a shadow of what the brand was supposed to be. When Saturn was first devised, it was to be a completely separate division of General Motors with a new and different line of dealerships which sold vehicles that were specifically designed for Saturn alone and were not rebadged examples from other GM lines. Saturn was a breath of fresh air when it was first introduced, as many consumers truly did appreciate not only the practical and economical aspects of the first Saturn models, but the refreshingly innovative "sticker price is what you pay with no haggling ever" dealership policies. These were the ploys that attracted countless thousands of customers who would much rather have major abdominal surgery than go mano a mano with a sly car salesman in negotiating down the inflated sticker price on their next car. However, somewhere along the line, GM made the decision that Saturn needed to be fixed (disregarding the famous dictum that if it aint broke don't fix it), and thus thoroughly decimated the marque. Gone were the truly original Saturn vehicles, to be replaced by a bunch of completely shamelessly rebranded Vauxhall / Opels from General Motors' European operations. In the trip across the Atlantic, these cars weren't even massaged in the slightest to make them suitable for North American consumers, as a quick look at the cockpit of the Saturn Aura (Vauxhall / Opel Vectra) will make amply clear. Heck, last model year Saturn sold the Astra which they didn't even go as far as rename from its European model! Were they afraid of spending an extra couple of bucks per car by manufacturing a different nameplate for the trunk lid? Sure, there are some Vauxhall / Opel models which belong in the new General Motors / Chrysler Corporation's lineup, but these sad sack oversized, underperforming lumps aren't the ones! Where is the Vauxhall / Opel Agila, Vauxhall / Opel Meriva, Vauxhall / Opel Tigra, or heck, why not even the relatively (and somewhat justifiably) badmouthed Vauxhall / Opel Corsa? Saturn's Vauxhall / Opel cloning hasn't worked as out of all the models, they've picked exactly the wrong ones to import. Time to blow Saturn out of orbit!

Continued in Part IX

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