They've Emasculated Formula-One Racing

Now we've got capon racing!

With much hand-rubbing of anticipation, I settled back yesterday to watch the first race of the 2014 F1 season from Melbourne.

All the usual race preliminaries were followed, and off they went for the warm-up lap...fine, my smile grew.

Then the four lights went green and I opened my ears to enjoy the snarl of all those mighty engines: the banshee scream of the Ferraris, the nasal wail of the Mclarens, the growl of the Bulls and so on.

Eh? The cars were moving and the race was on. S--t! I must have forgotten the volume control...no, it was on full and I should have been assaulted by a wave of sound.

I watched with growing incredulty as lap one unfolded and this new breed of race car slid smoothly around while all making exhaust sounds like your family Fiesta!

It was just like a giant video game. These new hybrid cars with their battery-gas motors were much smaller than the "real" F1 of last year; they were said to have more torque and sashayed out of the bends OK, but where was that top end speed the old V-8's used to excite us with? And where, damn it, was the roar!

These new engines are 6 cylinders with a turbo charger and seem as docile and boring as a VW Passat, say.

And do they twitch around! Supposedly as the battery motors kick in, the power and torque onto the wheels is doubled, making them hard to control, as was obvious by the jinking around. In fact, many seems to be in constant lateral movement, even on the straights.

There is no doubt for me - and for many more fans I'm sure - they have castrated this great sport by taming the steeds we loved beyond recognition. The Greenies and Nannies have won I suppose as they only use (are allotted) 100 gallons of gas per car for the whole race, nearly half of what the machines used previously.

We should be pleased at one change, I suppose - even the crashes look tame as the lighter cars seem to stop as soon as they hit a barrier... loosing their little nose cone perhaps, "attishooo," whoops, silly me!

The drivers these days are a bunch of pussies, too. When asked about the new cars is was obvious several of the racers hated them but were as one diplomatic in their replies. One driver whose name I don't recall did say, "They're OK, but much slower...I thought the ideas was make the cars go faster!" I concurr absolutely; the big cars were safe and very few people are even hurt in crashes any more.

Maybe - as I think will happen - the mufflers will get changed to at least have them sound like F1 cars again. Or chuck the lot into the compacter and get our beloved V-8's back! If something isn't done, I will have to stick to Sky TV and watch US Indy where real muscle cars and drivers with real b---s still compete. F1 now is tamer than F3 and about as interesting as watching the traffic on the interstate!