Top 100 Ugliest Motorcycles - 10 Supermotards

1) Yamaha MT-03 - Here it is, folks! The bike that put 'Tard in Supermotard. The sheer ugliness of this abortion on wheels challenges even my considerable vocabulary. There isn't a single part on this entire motorcycle that doesn't deserve to be in a scrap heap, or looks like it just came from one. This is the bike that Tony Stark would have built in the Afghan Cave if he didn't have enough sheet metal to cobble together the Iron Man suit. What the hell was Yamaha thinking?

2) KTM 690 LC4 - This original member of the Top 10 Ugliest List has dropped down a notch. Not because time has made it look any less repugnant, but because even its Halloween colors, Kindergarten graphics, teakettle exhaust pipe, faux motocross seat stretching almost to the triple clamp, and the Spy Vs. Spy proboscis nose thing, can't quite compare to revulsion caused by the number one bike on this list.

3) Yamaha Scorpio - I'm embarrassed to state that the ancestor of this monstrous creation was my own very beloved and profoundly missed Yamaha XT500. The Scorpio is an XT500 that has been exposed to massive radiation and mutated. The Persian Cat Nose headlight and microfairing, the buzzsaw front disk brake, the upswept, guaranteed to sear your thighs exhaust, the tilted crunch your family jewels seat, the overwide rad shroud, the tank stolen from an old Moto Guzzi Nevada... I could just go on and on...

4) KTM Duke - I thought that KTM was an Austrian motorcycle manufacturer! What are they doing selling origami? The KTM Duke is truly one of the most misshapen, ridiculous, atomic-wedgy design ever dreamed up under the influence of serious hallucinogens. And if the styling wasn't vomit-inducing enough, they painted it with that black and white pattern to emphasize the horrific angles in case you missed them at first look. KTM's stylists need a visit from another famous Austrian: The Terminator!

5) Aprilia SMV - Weren't Italians supposed to be able to design beautiful vehicles? What about the Ferrari Daytona? How could they foist on the motorcycling world this two wheeled stupidity? The bottom of the frame looks like it was made of melted caramel, it adheres firmly to the proboscis leading to the radiator shroud school of design, and don't even get me started on that matte black front wheel saddle fender. Aprilia, you have shamed all of Italy with this one!

6) Suzuki DR-Z - Just when it seemed that Suzuki was going to stick with a more or less "conventional" styling for their Supermotard, they ended up painting it in the most atrocious combination of lemon granita yellow and about seven dozen shades of blue. To make things worse, they forgot to paint the side covers (even in yellow... anything at all...), and the fork legs look like copper spatulas that have been dipped in custard! Who would want to be caught dead on this yellow monster? Not me, thanks!

7) Husqvarna 610THE - OK, so let's see if I get this straight. The idea of supermotard is to emulate motocross styling but fitted with racing style street tires, right? What for? In order to jump sidewalks and run over pedestrians? Supermotard is for Superretards, and there are few better ways of illustrating that point than this wedgy, angular, misfitting aberration.

8) Aprilia SXV - At least Husky tried the somewhat trendy street-y Joseph Coat Of Many Colors style on their miserable excuse for a Supermotard, but Aprilia didn't even show that restraint and went with a full out Supercross graphics job that graduates a really ugly bike absolutely into repulsive territory.

9) Suzuki DRBIG - This appalling mixed up thing from hell featured a proboscis that would have made a KTM 690 LC4 proud with a mini popped up windscreen that does nothing except make the bike look even goofier. What's the point of having an upswept exhaust pipe when you have street tires and a tight fitting front fender?

10) Kawasaki KLR 650 - Anyone who designs a motorcycle with a brown saddle and then mixes it with white and green semi-camo paintjob and then proceeds to slather that mess atop a peaked "morning wood under the sheets" tank and a completely useless minifairing deserves to be raking latrines for a living. Most of the KLR variants were just about as butt ugly as this model, and let's not forget the hideous Tengai!

 

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Comments 30 comments

kdhelmick 7 years ago

Your comments on the reason for supermotos in the blurb about the Husqy simply illustrate that you don't get this segment of motorcycling.

Some seem to think that motorcycles are for nothing but cruising and displaying forms of tatoos and Mad Max inspired clothing that call their sanity and familial relations into question first and foremost. Perhaps ones perfect idea of motorcycling bliss is a smooth enough ride that the rider's "squaw" can flash other motorists. The Sturgis devotees are looked at with equal disdain, I can assure you.

Supermotos are nearly as fast as hyper sportbikes on a short track, but perform feats of dynamics the sportbikes couldn't dream of. Who wouldn't want an incredibly light weight bike that corners as well as a sportbike but allows one to ride without a regularly scheduled chiropractor visit?

Besides that, defensive riding dictates that you're always scanning for traffic, and preparing yourself for having to jump the curb when a GM J-Car's female driver pulls out in front of you. If you try that on a sport bike or cruiser with their 3 inches of travel you'll be a very hurting unit and likely in a tree, whereas a similar maneuver on an enduro or supermoto may end with you laying the bike down on the grass after you jump the curb but most assuredly in better control all the while.

The only "styling" critique of yours I can agree with is your comments on the KLR.

PS: Love the Rose-in-skull tat, Bra...


Dona Rosa profile image

Dona Rosa 7 years ago from Tennessee

You always got the cool lists, another good one here, WTG!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Thanks Dona Rosa. Much appreciated!


filip 7 years ago

You dont no nothing about motorcyles,you thinking like a woman


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Wow, that's not exactly a sexist remark... I thought chauvinist pigs like you died off decades ago... guess I was wrong. :)


astro 7 years ago

I feel sorry for the blind individual who has constructed this list. they clearly have no taste in motorcycles.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

I feel sorry for the totally blind, deaf, and dumb person who thinks that any of the motorcycles on this page are anything but vomit-invoking! :)


Gin Delloway profile image

Gin Delloway 7 years ago

nice hub! I like it!!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

To that loser who has been using this Hub as a means to vent his homophobia and whose comments I've deleted, try posting now! MORON!


Alvyn 7 years ago

I DONT BELIEVEEE that those bike are the ugliesttt really sorry Licino.... i think this guy is crazy :/ THIS Aprilia SXV is a wonnnderful bikkee


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Youuuuuu areeeeeee aaaaa nutbarrrrrrrrrrr... :)


JonSterling profile image

JonSterling 7 years ago from Houston Texas - United States

Motards are pretty sweet looking to me - but the BMW and Kawasaki KLR are pretty double-bag ugly... My favorite is a converted Honda CRF-450X - Most power and torque for a single jug motor and the lightest so it really let's you straighten out the curves at the Tail of The Dragon near the Smokey Mountains.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Personally I like the WRF450's styling better (GASP... did I say I actually liked a modern Yamaha...) but like all enduros, it's meant for off road use primarily. The whole idea of blasting around paved corners on a bike with a foot of suspension travel is just plain silly.


Carl 7 years ago

You know I've owned quite a few bikes, ridden damn near everything from harleys to busa's and dirt bikes in between, these bikes have their own segment for a reason, it sucks when someone who has never ridden one makes comments on bikes like the SM bikes. Its like saying trials bikes are ugly and should be burned, they're made for fun and amazing riding. Maybe one day you'll get off your high horse and try riding something other than a cruiser. Before you say something like you must be a sport bike rider, my main rider for 5 years has been a 05 HD nightrain that I put 28,576miles on, love the bike, but crap suspension, had to throw out the stock pipes and carb and replace lights every time it rains. Its on its way out the door, next bike will probably be a busa again. Reliable and fun and comfortable, I'll save the drz400sm for running over pedestrians.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

I've extensively ridden both Suzi and Yammi supermotards. They're great. Just rip off the stupid little wheels and the idiotic slick street tires, plunk the big wheels and knobbies back on and go enjoy them the way that they were originally designed to be ridden! :)


Speedstack 6 years ago

The best part about this country is that everyone can have their own opinion.

The KTM Superduke and Aprilia SXV are engineering marvels, exude brute horsepower and professional racers consider them to be sport bikes at the purest level. As for all of the other bikes listed, critics, from well respected publications, have given them nothing short of rave reviews for the market segment that they were built for.

If everyone thought like you, then the sides of the road would be littered with broken down Harley Davidsons from brainwashed consumers who chose bland form over function.

I should come up with a list of the top ten ugly motorcycle helmets. Guess whose would be on it??

Open your mind a little.....


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

The worst part about this country is that the educational system is so horrifically underachieving that they turn out people LIKE YOU WHO CAN'T READ.

WHAT PART OF "UGLIEST" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?

This is an AESTHETIC (look that up) analysis! It has nothing to do with the engineering or performance of the model.

Damn! How stupid are you?


some guy 6 years ago

The Husky and SXV look like pure sex. Aesthetics be damned, I'll take one of those over a cruiser any day!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Yup. Pure sex. With Phyllis Diller. I guess you like that sort of thing... :)


Rico 6 years ago

Ahhh Hal, Your a Fruit Loop. If your not joking and completely serious by this blog then you have got to have a couple screws loose. lmao, btw all these bikes look great to my untrained eye, and im almost sure, engineering marvels to boot. well thanks for your opinion just the same, and thanks for the beautiful pics that you posted


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Well, it's too bad then that you have one eye that is untrained and another that's blind. :P


monster 6 years ago

tu si que eres feo!


Jeff Montgomery 6 years ago

"Yup. Pure sex. With Phyllis Diller. I guess you like that sort of thing..."

Now that was funny! I found Supermotards to be revolting when they first appeared, but they are great bikes and the looks are growing on me. Yeah, growing on me like the substance reeking havoc in the space station in that horrific film from the late sixties, "The Green Slime." I hated the looks of the Triumph Speed Triple, but I bought one anyway. I foolishly traded it in on a Daytona 675. Now, I'm looking for another Speed Triple with styling that you either love, hate, or tolerate. Supermotards and Speed Triples share unusual styling and fantastic performance. Personally, I can put up with the former to exploit the later. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your styling critics!


vince 6 years ago

If you consult a motobike psychiatrist he'll tell you : you don't like supermot :

Incredible but true......

Didn't need a public list to discover that.


Sebastien 6 years ago

er dude, number 3 most ugly bike is not a yamaha lol its a Derbi Mulhacen "Cafe Racer" style, i know this because i own one... its not even a Motard lol... its a "cafe racer" but still... its not a yamaha... :(


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author


will 6 years ago

What are you on about writer! Motards are sweet. what do you ride??? a ped i bet.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Does the bike in my avatar look like a Piaggio Ciao, moron?


yetimcclin 6 years ago

Hal, Sebastien is right. That's a Derbi label on the radiator shroud. But I guess since you found one picture that somebody mislabelled as a Yamaha, it must be true.

As for your disdain for motards, well that's your loss. If you're so concerned with looks that you refuse to acknowledge the brilliant performance of this category of motorcycles, then you may very well be hopeless.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

1) Motards are for ... er... the ones that rhyme with them.

2) I've sent off the pic to Yamaha USA for ID. I'll report back what they reply! :)

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