Top 100 Ugliest Motorcycles In History - The Ultimate List!

Yes, there they are! The one hundred worst rubbish, detritus, mutant, flotsam and jetsam throwaway scrap metal piles of offensive sewage junk ever to violate the eyeballs of motorcycle riders around the world! This awful offal collection is the definitive list of all the motorcycles that will make you lose your lunch at first sight. Is there any motorcycle rider among us who can resist the urge to projectile vomit at the sight of any of these gargoyles from hell? But look at the bright side! Many of these bikes would look better under a layer of puke as it would at least cover them up a bit!

There have been many incredibly beautiful motorcycles designed, not the least of them:

  • BMW R75
  • Ducati 900 SS
  • Harley Davidson Sportster
  • Harley Davidson Super Glide
  • Honda CB 350 F
  • Honda CBX Six
  • Honda Nighthawk
  • Honda Shadow Aero
  • Honda ST1300
  • Indian Chief
  • Kawasaki Drifter 800
  • Kawasaki H2
  • Kawasaki Voyager 1700
  • Kawasaki Vulcan 1500
  • Kawasaki Z1
  • Norton Commando
  • Suzuki GS500F
  • Suzuki Savage
  • Triumph Bonneville
  • Yamaha Road / Wild Star
  • Yamaha XS 650
  • Yamaha XT 500

... and many more. However at the same time, the same styling departments who can produce such harmonious perfection take a left turn into hell and crank out such shockingly ugly designs that you have to run away screaming.

Do I have specific ones that I'd have to outline as the worst of the worst? Certainly the Suzuki Madura did establish an eye popping all time low in styling slurry, but there are many, many others that are just as worthy:

  • Ducati Multistrada
  • Harley Davidson Rocker C
  • Honda Pacific Coast
  • Hyosung Aquila
  • Kawasaki Versys
  • Kymco Venox
  • Moto Guzzi Stelvio
  • QLink Legacy
  • Suzuki B-King
  • Suzuki Boulevard M109
  • Triumph Tiger
  • Victory Vision

...and almost everything that Yamaha, Bimota, Buell, BMW and Triumph has designed in the past five years! Those five manufacturers do have to be singled out as they have turned their back on decades of beautiful design and consistently turned out cockroachcycles that replace flow and balance with a look that can only be compared to riding through a tractor parts warehouse with an electromagnet. Completely despicable! Shame on you, Yamaha, Bimota, Buell, BMW and Triumph!

However, the horror show didn't just start in this millennium, as horrific styling has a long history. There's the stomach-wrenching MZ Trophy, the vomit-inducing Vincent Black Knight, the retch-worthy BSA Rocket 3, and the Sears Puch which although isn't pronounced Puke, it certainly should be.

It is very unfortunate, but there are times when motorcycle manufacturers completely lose the plot and foist unspeakable junk on the riding public, and it truly is amazing that no matter what repugnant mess of a motorcycle is presented, there will always be someone out there who thinks it's the paragon of perfection and wants to defend it to the death.

Undoubtedly there will be some blind fanboi or other who will jump into the Comments section defending their own particular favorite steed, completely disregarding its evident aesthetic shortcomings and the fact that it's been hit repeatedly by the monstrous uglistick. To all you fanbois, I say Bring It On. All 100 of these bikes are more repulsive than a maggot sandwich with slime sauce and a side of fried larva, so just try to prove me wrong!

 

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Comments 36 comments

Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Note to Dirk Diggler, this is a family friendly Hub so your comment is deleted due to the language you used!


Mark on a Max 7 years ago

Did you skip the Road Dog because there is only one or haven't you seen it before?

http://www.walneckswap.com/miscpage_001.asp


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

I didn't include any motorcycles that are one offs or cottage industry products. The Ridley and the Excelsior were about as close as I wanted to get to minimal production and they were marginal at best so they made it into the list by a hair.


J_Eds profile image

J_Eds 7 years ago from Blackpool

Currently learning to ride... Loving every minute of it


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Take care and be careful, and it can be the best outdoor activity anywhere!


sheenarobins profile image

sheenarobins 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Learned to ride when I was pregnant. I was riding the motorcycle with my big belly and my ex-husband cursing at my back. anything that looks like a motorcycle to me is a motorcycle. hehehe


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

I hope your baby was born with a love of two wheeled open roading! Make sure to get him/her a baby helmet! :)


sheenarobins profile image

sheenarobins 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

hahah. You bet he does. His still 9 years old. I have a Swedish friend who takes him for a joyride everywhere in the city. Ahhh. Such good friends I have. They try to be a dad to my son. And my son goes "weeeeeeh." Unforgettable moments for him!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

It's great when kids can learn to appreciate motorcycling at an early age! I had never been on a motorcycle until I was 12 years old and got a Honda Z50. From that moment on, I've rarely been off of a saddle! :)


Shaun Lindbergh profile image

Shaun Lindbergh 7 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

And the CB750? :-( that's got to be one of the all-time greats! ... and then the Norton Commando.


Casey 7 years ago

Spend a little time learning what bikes fit into which categories, then try again... for example, the Rocket III isn't a "naked bike" (nor is a QLink Legacy), the Street Triple isn't a sport bike, the KLR650 is hardly a Supermoto (nor are 1/2 the others shown), and there is only 1 actual Hypermoto shown in its list... Straighten those out and then I'll help you with your sense of aesthetics ;~)


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Shaun Lindbergh, the Norton Commando is right there in the Hub, in my list of the all time best looking bikes. As for the CB750, the K0 version with the hideous oil tank in the sidecover and the flat bottomed jerry-can fuel tank was anything but gorgeous. We're looking at bikes from an aesthetic standpoint, not historical: if it was a historical review most likely the CB750 would be the number one all time!

Casey, well the Qlink is not naked but that's because its covered in a whole bunch of plastic panel junk, as for the other ones... the day when I ask for your aesthetic help is going to be the day that President Bush gets re-elected! :)


Mon ami mate 7 years ago

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,this list is just pissing in the wind.


six9k9 profile image

six9k9 7 years ago

Well in my opinion all crotch rockets can be classified as the ugliest bikes. Not only do they look like a suped up mosquito and serve no function but racing, usually the people who ride them are careless to those around them.


six9k9 profile image

six9k9 7 years ago

Some of the bikes on your list are actually sharp looking. I'm impressed that you even mention Harley in your list. They have produced some of the most desired cruisers out. And have recently busted into the crotch rocket type of bike scene. They have produced a couple of bikes which might be questioninble in looks, but have out sold any bike on the market.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Mon ami mate, I don't mind as long as you are downwind. :)

six9k9, I despise the looks of most crotch rockets, but there are a handful of them which are acceptable as long as the design is coherent with the function and they keep from becoming supergraphic billboards or random assemblages of ill-fitting junk parts. As for Harley, they are most certainly not doing too well lately as they've just laid off 1,100 workers!


Bill 7 years ago

You don't know anything about motorcycles, do you? Putting the Vincent on this list would earn you a PhD in ignorant.

I betcha something. Your ride probably makes all these combined look like a pageant winner from the concours 'd elegance.

Happy trails


tring-sandra profile image

tring-sandra 7 years ago from UK

Oh God u have a beautiful collection of motorcycles.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Bill, kindly defend the slapped on wavy plastic panels on the Black Knight. I just want to make sure that you actually have a pulse and are not legally blind. :)

tring-sandra, you have an excellent career prospect in becoming a professional satirist!


sputnik1156 profile image

sputnik1156 7 years ago from Jammu India

fine hub


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Thanks, sputnik1156!


Richard 7 years ago

I agree with most of these but the bike i cant stand is the one that looks like a stealth airplane i thinks its made by Victory.... great hub!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Victory Vision! Check out the ugliest Tourers!


shinysideup 7 years ago

This is one of the worst examples of motorcycle 'journalism' i've ever seen. The worst from a pool of juvenile choices on all these hubs.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

You are entitled to your opinion. If you're so experienced and mature, then go write your own list. :P


Jules 7 years ago

Bit of a wank of a list. Bikes like the Triumph Rocket 3 look good, and if you saw one in good condition nowadays nearly everyone would give it the thumbs up for its retro styling. The raygun silencer extensions arent stupid at all. The cb400f was another good looking bike. So what if the tank wasn't the most memorably styled thing in the world? It wasn't bad, just plain. As for the 4 into 1 exhaust, it was one of the styling features which appealed to people about the 400f. As for bikes with good styling, some of my favourites would have to be the Brough Superior ss100, Vincent Black Shadow, Norton Commando. And something about the tank and engine of the 1920 Wooler is quite delightful, for its era.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Hey, go wank somewhere else! :)

Actually, I do agree with you on the Norton Commando. One of the most beautiful motorcycles EVER. Have you checked out the new 961? I drool just thinking about it! :)


Alan 7 years ago

Since there is no doubt that you are well educated in your chosen topic, I would be looking to get shot down if I was to challenge you on any facts. I do however find it beyond comprehension that you could even make mention of the Hyosung Aquila in any "ugliest" list. Bike lover or not its beauty is undeniable. Have you made this choice based on the fact that it is an affordable Korean beauty that's badge holds no water with the biking elite or are you honestly going to try and make anybody believe that this bike is ugly? Not the best build quality in the world, but ugly.....Come on


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Not the best build quality in the world, and not the best aesthetic value in the world. The Aquila is an overchromed misbegotten aberration. :)


Nick B profile image

Nick B 7 years ago from Normandy, France

I'm glad this is just your opinion.

Some of the bikes you mentioned must surely be included because... well, I don't understand why.

The bizarrobikes was something else however and I don't think I would be caught dead riding any one of them. Expensive and oversized paperweights, but the golden age bikes? The Honda 400? What on earth was wrong with that?

Oh well, each to their own I suppose.

I like the Virago 1100 too, but then I'm a European and can't see the point in owning something like a Harley that breaks down regularly and can't stand up to the English weather.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

It's not my opinion. It's my eyesight. I look at the zit on the butt of the half ton woman and say it's ugly. I look at these bikes and have the same opinion. Others may argue that the zit on the butt of the half ton woman is beautiful. That doesn't prove I'm wrong or that there is a legitimate difference of opinion. It proves that my detractors are legally insane. :)


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Thanks for the great story. The Bonny is on the list at the top of this page, under the most beautiful bikes ever! :)


GP 6 years ago

One of the major problems your ladder is facing, Hal, is that you're not taking into account the time-period these motorcycles were designed in and the cultural environment for which they were intended and who's aesthetics were the prevalent influence in the designs of these bikes. What is not modern anymore was 40 years ago when it came out the biggest hit in design and the most beautiful too. What you're failing to recognize is that aesthetics are subjective, as they say "the beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Yet you obviously seem to believe you're the world's authority on what is beautiful and that whatever you say is the law and absolutely right, with no possible mistake.

Grow up.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

I'm way grown, dude. I was running motorcycle magazines road testing these very bikes when you were trying to figure out what was in your diaper. You obviously have a reading problem as I stated very clearly in the Hub some of the most beautiful bikes, and many of them are from the Golden Age. So try a reading comprehension class. It works wonders. :)


Cruznkc 6 years ago

Lets not forget what is truly important here... Two Wheels!

If your on two wheels, then your my friend, period! The bike is just an extension of the rider. We are all different in size shape and color, if we all were the same it would be a very boring world. If your on two wheels your part of the club and look good to me, no matter what you ride!


Gene 6 years ago

The 100 Ugliest...

People, Animals, Houses, Pens, Hair Styles, Shoes, Cars, Plants, Buildings, Paintings, Rockets, Mountains, Dogs, Windows, Cell Phones, and on, and on, and on... are mirrors that reflect the person who sees them as "ugly," "beautiful," or something in between. We do not live on one planet called Earth, we live on six billion planets because there are six billione of us--give or take a few hundred million. Perhaps, we need to see the "ugliest" this and that because we live in a shadow and would be blinded by the light if we dared to even look at it. Thank you, Hal, for reminding me that I create the world and see it reflected in my experience--not the other way around. Thank you.

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