Top 10 Ugliest Motorcycles Of All Time

Hey, check out the latest addition to the Ugliest Motorcycles List by reviewing:

The Top 100 Ugliest Motorcycles In History - The Ultimate List!

Buell Lightning. Looks like it had a head-on collision.
Buell Lightning. Looks like it had a head-on collision.
KTM 690. This is what happens when a motorcycle is mated with an anteater.
KTM 690. This is what happens when a motorcycle is mated with an anteater.
Honda V45 Magna. Everything is wrong with the styling of this bike. The motor was powerful, though!
Honda V45 Magna. Everything is wrong with the styling of this bike. The motor was powerful, though!
Honda Rune. How many people shelled out $30,000 for this two wheeled aberration?
Honda Rune. How many people shelled out $30,000 for this two wheeled aberration?
BSA Rocket 3. More at home on the Thunderbirds puppet set than on the street. Check out the triple muffler extensions!
BSA Rocket 3. More at home on the Thunderbirds puppet set than on the street. Check out the triple muffler extensions!
Triumph Rocket 3. Two Rocket 3s make it on the list. This behemoth looks like it was welded from tractor parts. And what is that chrome tumour growing on the fuel tank?
Triumph Rocket 3. Two Rocket 3s make it on the list. This behemoth looks like it was welded from tractor parts. And what is that chrome tumour growing on the fuel tank?
Kawasaki KZ1300. Hard to believe this bike came from the same company that built the Z1. The recumbent buttocks fuel tank sitting on the heads, the square headlight and instruments, the feta cheese cylinders... gag...
Kawasaki KZ1300. Hard to believe this bike came from the same company that built the Z1. The recumbent buttocks fuel tank sitting on the heads, the square headlight and instruments, the feta cheese cylinders... gag...
Yamaha Roadliner. How to take a lovely Road Star and massacre it. Gotham City styling meets swoops in all the wrong places. The fenders and mufflers are simply styling horrors. And the Art Deco tank!
Yamaha Roadliner. How to take a lovely Road Star and massacre it. Gotham City styling meets swoops in all the wrong places. The fenders and mufflers are simply styling horrors. And the Art Deco tank!
Suzuki SV1000. Takes naked styling to a new low. The only great thing about this bike is the engine, so they hide it!
Suzuki SV1000. Takes naked styling to a new low. The only great thing about this bike is the engine, so they hide it!
Honda CB400F. Nondescript tank, leg perforating rivets on the seat, and I'm sure a good welder can straighten those exhaust pipes right out.
Honda CB400F. Nondescript tank, leg perforating rivets on the seat, and I'm sure a good welder can straighten those exhaust pipes right out.
After careful consideration borne of spending every free moment on a motorcycle saddle since May of 1970, and with the power vested in me by me, I hereby declare the ten ugliest motorcycles ever to disgrace the roads of our world.

Number 10: Honda CB400F. Honda destroyed the jewel-like CB350 Four after just one year of production and replaced it with this square-edged faux racer junkpile. The exhaust pipes set a new low in idiotic styling and the rest of it is so undescript that it barely even registers. Ride it for two hours and you'll have holes in your legs where those saddle rivets are.

Number 9: Suzuki SV1000. How to take a phenomenal motor and bury it inside angular and completely pointless styling. Is that bottom scoop designed to plough a path for the rear wheel in snow?

Number 8: Yamaha Roadliner: Ugly is as ugly does. If you look carefully at the trailing curve of the front fender, you'll think it's an optical illusion. The Art Deco overlay on this bike is like styling a minivan inspired by Michael Keaton's Batmobile. can someone please tell me what those triple lines are doing around the frame neck?

Number 7: Kawasaki KZ1300. Design a great six cylinder inline engine, make sure no one can see the beautiful cascading pipes by hiding them behind a Ford F350 radiator, then hide the rest of it beneath a tank that is shaped like the seated rear end of an obese man. Mix with square headlight and instrument panel and a tail section from a Suzuki GS. Mix and puke.

Number 6: Triumph Rocket 3. I'm all for innovative styling but this monster just looks like it's an engineering mule. the other side of the bike at least has some visual interest with the three inline cylinders. This side is just cobbled together with shapes that don't fit and curves that don't jibe. Maybe they should have made the already huge picture frame radiator larger and hid the whole bike.

Number 5: BSA Rocket 3. The original Rocket 3 is even uglier than its bastard offspring. Obviously designed by Gerry Anderson for use in his futuristic puppet shows, it's hard to believe that this same basic bike was marketed as the Triumph Trident which had Bonneville-styled good looks.

Number 4: Honda Rune. The price of a custom-built cruiser without any of the style. The designers of this long, low, bulky battleship may have thought they were setting new styling trends, but all they did was forge a joke. The fenders should have been put back on the 1929 Reo Flatbed where they came from and the exhaust pipe should have had a guard to keep cats from crawling in there and going to sleep.

Number 3: Honda V45 Magna. Admittedly it was close when placed up against the Suzuki Madura (aaargh!) but the Honda won the battle since it has even more tacked on pipes, bars, slabs and pointless doohickeys than the Manure-a.

Number 2: KTM 690. There simply is no excuse for this sort of design. The may seen as some sort of trendsetting supermotard design, but all it does is just uglify a market segment that is already producing the ugliest bikes around. Maybe the proboscis should be made out of metal so that it can impale pedestrians who get in the way.

The Number 1 Ugliest Motorcycle of All Time: Buell Lightning. How to take a perfectly wonderful Sportster motor and wrap it inside a train wreck. The whole bike looks like it's sitting in a scrap yard after an 80 mph head on collision with an Amtrak. There are no words to describe the profound repulsive hideousness of this... thing!

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Comments 191 comments

shroom 9 years ago

Good thing not everybody thinks like you do.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

You can't really say that anyone finds that misbegotten pile of Victorian scrap metal they call a Buell Lightning actually attractive??? :)


shroom 9 years ago

You seem to take great pride in your verbal ability to mock. :) If you're curious, your list is being discussed here:

http://www.hondashadow.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4...

Me personally? The Buell won't win a beauty contest. I'll agree with you on the Rune, Triumph Rocket, and the KZ1300. You're way off base on the Roadliner, Honda CB400F, and the BSA Rocket. Hey, opinions are like a$$holes, right? :)


Cappy 9 years ago

What might be ugly to you...might be a beauty to others. Have you seen what couples look like....Hansome Guy-Ugly Woman or Beautiful Woman-Ugly Guy. Please post a picture of your other half.....I bet she's a beauty. And BTW....who gave you permission to be an expert on the beauty of bikes.

Don't forget....Picture of the Woman


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Hi, Shroom. Thanks for the link. I'm glad to see such a diversity in opinion running the gamut from strongly pro to strongly con. Top Anything Lists should provoke debate, as that's what they're all about. You will never ever ever find universal agreement on any Top 10 list on a subject that has 11 versions or more, and that brings out the best in the Web: "I may disagree with your opinion, but I defend vigorously your right to say it."

Cappy, haven't you ever heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and different people have different opinions? You should feel free to post on your blog your own version of the same list or the Top 10 Ugliest Dogs or the Top 10 Ugliest Manolo Blahnik shoes. Have you ever heard the Joe Jackson song: "Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street"? As for my girlfriend, she's 29, 5'7", 135 lbs and every inch a magnificent lady. I'm middle aged, decrepit, balding, fat, flat-footed, wear horn rimmed glasses and look like Uncle Fester who wandered onto the set of Revenge Of The Nerds. What can I say? Some chicks just dig the brainy types! :)

As for the pic? Dream on, Cappy. Get your stimulation from bigjuggs.com. I don't share! ;)


RacknRail 9 years ago

I totally disagree with the BSA Rocket being on that list. I like that bike. Why no BMW's with those ugly cylinders sticking out the side?


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

The Beezer is on the list due to its: lumpy and misshapen inset tank; completely outsized six slice toaster sidecovers; afterthought fender pinstriping; triple RayGun chromed-biro muffler projections; oil cooler side reflectors stolen off a post-war Mack truck, and catch-yer-crotch-gap between the tank and the awkwardly front-sliding smooth seat. Remember that BSA-Triumph had subcontracted the styling to OGLE Design which was universally acknowledged to have really screwed it up. The BSA-Triumph execs recognized that they had given birth to a mutant and quickly restyled it with a more classic tank, horizontally split sidecovers and traditional mufflers in an attempt to move some off the dealer's floors. And of course they handed a special edition over to the one and only Craig Vetter, the greatest two-wheeled stylist of all time (and I know Arlen Ness personally... sorry dude, you're #2), who turned the scraggy nubby wart into one of the most beautiful motorcycles of all time, the Triumph X75 Hurricane. Craig showed the inherent beauty hidden in that bike through his flowing, choppery, pinch-waisted, WASPish, and totally unforgettable design that today's cake decorators a la Teutul would be wise to study.

As for Beemer, I can assure you that their bikes of the past few years would certainly fill spots 11-20, with the R1200 leading the uglypack! "Beauty is only skin deep but ugly go down to the bone!" :)


Robert 9 years ago

That 400F is better looking than any of your ancestors, and it would be far more welcome in my garage.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Considering I'm descended from a long line of Neanderthals, mutants and ogres, am I welcome in your garage too? Have any cold beer? Pizza? :)


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Hi, Jono! So that WAS you I waved to this morning at the Home For The Aesthetically Challenged! I'm so glad that you're getting therapy. I know that making you stare at the perfect, harmonious lines of my 2005 FXDL is going to be painful at first, but just think of how great you and your loved ones will feel when you are reintegrated as a productive member of society! :)


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Hi, Jono! You're more than welcome to reformulate your post and resubmit, but if you keep using expletives, I'll just keep erasing your post! I'm sure that we can have a conversation about motorcycles without getting scathological. This is a family hub! :)


DrifterDon 9 years ago

Confederate should have been on the list and not the Stratoliner, a great looking bike.

DDon


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Yes Confederate has a face that only a mother bulldog could love, but it's really a cottage industry manufacturer. If you include Confy, then you've gotta put in all the garage builders. My thoughts on putting together this list was to just include the big multinational manufacturers.


Danny Devito 9 years ago

I think the Lightning is nice, and just the right size for me. But Id be more worried about its gearbox being made of swiss cheese.


Ronnie Corbett 9 years ago

The Buell is a little unfriendly on the eye, but makes up for it in character (and the fact it is one of the few bikes I can reach the ground on)


Snow White 9 years ago

I disagree about the looks of the Lightning. My seven little friends love thiers.


David Blunkett 9 years ago

I think the Buell looks really nice


GOD 9 years ago

You have some nerve critisizing the Buell especially when your riding the fart noise on wheels FXDL....... what an antiquated design penis machine only good for straight roads and impressing morons with. All show ....NO GO


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

GOD, I have several questions for you:

1) Why do you kill kittens?

2) Why did you have to give me so much hair on my back?

3) Why couldn't you have made Carbonara sauce calorie-free?

and

4) Why are you masquerading as Jono???

P.S. If you really want to see a penis machine, look at the giant chromed uncircumcised muffler on the Yamaha Roadliner!


aussie 9 years ago

meh, you are a typical "yesterdays hero" fossil wannabe-biker.

how can any of us expect an old man like you to appreciate modern styling? all you have demonstrated here is that you are old. good luck with that :)


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

A note from the Paleontology department: I'll have you know that there are many 2007 models that I can really appreciate from a motorcycle rider and from an aesthetic perspective. They include the Yamaha FJR1300A, Ducati Sport 1000 Biposto, Triumph Speedmaster, Suzuki Bandit 1250S, Kawasaki Concours 14, Honda 919 and Gold Wing GL1800 (I'd kill to be able to really ride a CRF450X but my ass would crack all the way to the base of my skull). You can see none of those are "cruisers" but among my favourites in my favourite category you can count the Yamaha Road Star, the Kawi Vulcan 2000 LT, and most FX series Harleys. Besides, young whippersnapper, a little resspek! Not only will I gladly meet you on the curvy road of your choosing on identical rides and allow you to savour my dust, but I was riding across continents when you were still trying to figure out what was in your diaper! :)


aussie 9 years ago

you'd only kill yourself trying ol' man.

i have no problem with your list, they are your choice of the 10 ugliest bikes and you have posted them with relevant knowledge and integrity.

I am happy to meet you for a run, and when i do, i will introduce you to other new things such as the calculator, the microwave and colour TV :P

now off to bed ol'chap, lest your hi fibre diet get the better of you.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

All I have to say is:

Mosport Ontario race track - August 2005 - Yamaha YZF-R1 (new, box stock) - 1minute, 23.78 seconds, which is 2.62 seconds off the all time track record.

Y'know, dust really tastes good if you put some ketchup on it first, and it goes extra nicely with humble pie! :)


binky 9 years ago

hi hal,

135lbs must be the heaviest inflatable doll getting around, built by Hardly Driveble perhaps ? xxxxxx


busarider1 9 years ago

Nice list. It generates discussion so it has some merit! Of course I was really looking forward to seeing my beloved steeds (hayabusa and v-strom) somewhere on that list. I don't think the buell is so much ugly as it is funky. The Rune I'll agree with ya. I've tried liking that bike but everytime I see it I go back to not liking it. The Rocket is huge and has a presence about it, but I don't think it belongs on that list. There are a couple of ducati's that could replace it!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Hi, Binky. Well, she certainly is a doll, and I do my part to keep her inflated by a daily regimen of pumping! :)

(Er... so much for the family Hub rating...)

Thanks for the props busarider1, the Suzi 1000 I've listed here can easily be interchanged with the V-strom in the uglistakes, as for the hayabusa, so much of it is covered by that plasticine lump fairing that who knows what ugliness lies underneath? As for the Ducatis, at least the Italians have the aesthetic sense to call it a Monster! :)


Aldo 9 years ago

Great list to inspire comment! You left my current bike out...the Boss Hoss has gotta be the ugliest bike of all...okay, maybe you don't consider the Boss Hoss, the only production V8 motorcycle, a motorcycle, but an aberration in a class of its own. If ugly is cute, then your number 10, 7, 6, and 4 are real cuties for me, with profiles, only a mutha like me could love.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Well, Aldo, the Boss Hogg...er... Hoss, is certainly butt ugly, but as in the case of the Confederate, the manufacturer is more of a customizer/cottage industry. The only truly international, volume, ground-up manufacturers really should be: BMW, Ducati, Harley/Buell, Honda, Kawasaki, Moto Guzzi, KTM, Suzuki, Triumph, Victory, and Yamaha. You can argue that other brands such as Royal Enfield, Ural, Hyosung, Cagiva/MV Agusta, Aprilia, Husky and the Chinese 250 cc builders should be included, and if we look from a global perspective perhaps they should. But if we keep it to the North American market then even Moto Guzzi just barely fits onto that list.


The Mighty MagnaWing 9 years ago

Well I don't know what kind of drugs you might be on but the V45 Magna was, is, and allways be one of the prettyest bikes I have ever seen or had the fortune to own. Now if you want to look at a bike that isn't as pretty as the Magna but still better looking than anything else you listed take a look at a V45 or V65 Sabre.


buttwheat 9 years ago

I have to agree, the v45 magna is/was butt-ugly, decent motor, horrible styling, what the heck were the japs thinking when they put that POS together? I've seen better lines on my great grandmas face!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Dear Mighty. I have always respected opposing opinions as all of truth is essentially subjective. However, I regret to inform you that you are OUTTA YER FREAKIN' MIND!!!!!! Thank you and peace be upon you. :)


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Good "line" buttwheat... I liked it! :) I guess I have to ask you where assfalfa is, though.. :)


WhatThe 9 years ago

Funny, the Honda didn't make my list top ten ugliest things I've riden. Ironically enough, your mom did though.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

My momma's so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

My momma's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

My momma's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

My momma's so ugly, she made an onion cry.

My momma's so ugly, when she tried to take a bath, the water jumped out!

There! Happy? But at least I have a momma, and I wasn't hatched! :)


TJ 9 years ago

What planet are you from? There are too many on your list of ugly bikes that are really classics in their own way. I won't stoop to some of the comments here but it seems you don't know street bikes very well or you would know that Magna, CB, Suzies etc. you listed are loved by tens of thousands of people. Why waste your time on here showing how little you know.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Er... maybe 'cuz the bikes are about as alluring as a Joan Rivers Playboy Centerfold, and the people who think they're beautiful have descended from blind moles? :)


mandingo999 9 years ago

Whoever said the SV was ugly probably can't even ride.


svforme 9 years ago

As my tag suggests, I ride an sv1000. I've just read this poll through to the end and thank-you all for making my day... A great belly laugh all the way through... Hal, you would make a great fisherman, you know how to get 'em biting...lol


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

svforme, thank you for "getting it!" (wink wink) :)

P.S. The SV is still ugly and its mommy dresses it funny. :P


hkyglie 9 years ago

Another SV rider here, while the styling of the SV is not run of the mill, that is part of it's appeal. Why own a cookie cutter race rep that everybody & their brother rides. Yes beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but just because you don't like something doesn't mean someone else can't or won't. It really doesn't give you the right to berate the people that do.


SVfan 9 years ago

Here is what some of the 5000+ members of the SV forum think of your list.........

http://www.sv-portal.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2...


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Hi, hkglie! I can certainly respect your opinion and support your right to express it. This is Web 2.0 which is the truly empowering phase of electronic communications where anyone can express their opinions. And my opinion is: If you park an SV by the beach, the cats will try to bury it. Farmers are buying up used SVs to park in their fields as scarecrows. The reason Suzuki named it SV is because it's a S**t Vehicle... need I go on? :)

Hi, SVfan! I'm so glad that my fan club base has expanded to your forum! :) Tell the guy who wants to punch me in the face that there's a very long line in front of him and to take a number. And, to the guy who wonders what I ride, tell him to read further up on this comments column... and to the guy who wonders what I know about bikes, tell him that I was the publisher and editor of nationally distributed motorcycle magazines when he was still trying to figure out which teat tasted better. :)


realbinky 9 years ago

First, that other binky is an imposter.

Some of your list make sense, but some not-so-much. First, there are no Hardleys on it. The beauty (or lack thereof) of some bikes can only be seen from the saddle, and Hardleys show the lack. The v45, on the other hand..."useless dohickeys?" Name one, unless you mean a 80s bike with things like cancelling singals, 2 extra cylinders, and some personality. Those are extras, but not useless


pete 9 years ago

Well, Hal Lacino, i don't agree with all your choices but your ability to defend your position and run rings round some of the half-wits that challenged you has just given me 10 worthy minutes of entertainment.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Hi, realbinky. Yeah, I suspected that about the other binky. He really had shifty eyes and seemed to keep looking over his left shoulder as he was typing. Yes, there are no Hardleys, even though the mighty H-D has produced some bow-wows that would scare small children. Any model at all would definitely qualify among world class nausea inducers from their fortunately short-lived misbegotten takeover of Aermacchi, an Italian motorcycle manufacturer whose lineup of 125cc two strokes and phallic 350cc completely horizontal four stroke singles fit into Harley's product range about as well as I fit into Nicole Richie's Givenchy evening gown. Even before that, the opposed twin XA model was absolutely stomach turning, but they may have justified it because it was a war model and they figured that the Germans would take one look at it and run away screaming. In the 2008 range, (please forgive me, Willie G.) the complete styling miscues include: the FXDF's exhaust; any Sporty sans peanut tank; the entire FLTR is well past its sell by date and its frame mounted fairing should have been discontinued in the '90s; and the worst styling offender is the Rocker C's seat taken right out of the Buell dumpster. However nothing, but nothing compares to the VRod. It definitely deserves a spot "bubbling under the Top 10" of the ugly bikes as it simply has no reason to exist. Is it supposed to be a bike for the Ecstasy club set who long for the street cred of riding up to their pusher on a Harley, or is it supposed to appeal to the sport rider who can buy a much faster and better handling ride for about half the price? Maybe Harley should put an Aermacchi sticker on it and be done with it. As for the Vomit45, allow me to explain what a useless doohickey is: it is all the odds and ends that are just tacked onto the bike with absolutely no forethought whatsoever. The Magnagag looks like you went through a hydraulic pump factory with an electromagnet. Actually, it shares a remarable resemblance to the air compressor down at the Shell station. Please defend: The venetian blind rad; the mysterious tubing that runs around the crankcase and up to the cylinders and which obviously inspired the designer of the Borg costume; the chromed cigarette holder stuck just below the leading edge of the tank; the way too thin gas tank itself that looks like it was mounted about four inches too far back, runs under the seat and leaves the entire frame neck exposed but not to metal, nooooooooo, but to a graying plastic blob. And anyone who can defend a square headlight on a motorcycle has more cojones that I would ever have given him credit for. Now go find the other binky and tell him that he left his lunchbox here and it's ticking.  :)

Well, pete, all I can say is thanks for the props! We are here to entertain! Please show your appreciation by sending a fully tax deductable donation of $20 or more to Hal c/o Hubpages... :)


Roger 9 years ago

Two bones to pick: First, your list is supposed to be "of all time". So where are the weird looking NSU bikes from the 1950s? The Norton Rotary? The bloated Guzzi cruisers (whose tradition continues to this very day in the 750 Nevada Classic)? Second, I'd suggest dropping the Honda CB400F (which is not that bad a bike when considered against the competition of its era), and adding the BMW K1200LT. Yes, yes, I know, "the weight vanishes at speed". But what a top-heavy bloatowagon it is to look upon!!


DjGeNeSiS 9 years ago

I think you seriously ought to reconsider. Obviously you haven't been around bikes much.

KEEP READING!

xxGeNxx


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Roger, you make excellent points. I may have been swayed by my pure unadulterated adoration for my CB350Four to have given the mutant CB400Four any slack. I would definitely consider that the K1200LT would have at least a cointoss chance at #10. As for the Norton and the Suzi Rotaries, their innovative technologies allowed them a bit of a latitude when it comes to their styling horrors, but that did not necessarily make them any more attractive. The Guzzi cruisers had none of that. Old tech. Elephantitis styling. True "immondizzia"!

Maybe we should have a Top 20 to keep everybody happy? :)

Dj... I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm sure you'll be more coherent when the narcotics wear off. :)


rider 9 years ago

The BSA looks like a BSA and I like 'em. http://www.motor-cycles.us I agree with you about the Buell making your list.


legz 9 years ago

A 'top ten ugliest bike' list compiled by the owner of a Harley.

For someone who claims to be well educated i'm surprised you fail to notice the irony.

Having said that,I defend your right to an opinion (no matter how wrong it may be) and your right to chose your own bike (even if the weight of the hideous waste of raw materials is measured in tons rather than pounds).

:-)


Skinny 9 years ago

Where's the Multistrada?

Rocket 3 and the CB400? Summat up with your eyes matey! lol


Kermittheflyingbog 9 years ago

Personally I think all those bikes stood next to a HD Softail would look like victoria principle whilst the HD would look like Jade Goodey, not to mention the 1920's engineering just blacked up to make it look modern.

The CB400 is a beautiful bike and was a future trend setter, the only thing that harleys set the trend for was the wheels on richard nobles thrust 2 and massey fergussons 1965 series 135


Gaz 9 years ago

Missing bikes:

Aprilia moto 6.5

Y2K guppy

Ducati Paso

Dodge Tomahawk

I have to say I think most HDs are ugly as sin, just goes to show it takes all sorts.


Jyle Dupuis profile image

Jyle Dupuis 9 years ago from Henrico, Virginia

I kind of like the Honda Rune. I wouldn't pay $30,000 for it though.


Tony 9 years ago

Harleys are a class of there own...........and that class is ugly bike.............

Me thinks you need to get some new glasses Hal if you think those bikes are ugly and theres many others out there that should be on that list before them.......admitted some of those bikes arent the best looking but there is some proper minging bikes out there that should be on that top 10.

like quite a few half a masseyfurgesons...sorry hardly rideable....harley davidson knew i would get it right in the end.


Hodge 9 years ago

I have to disagree with some of your choices but defend your right to express an opinion. The BSA, in my opinion, should be removed from that list.


rotax 9 years ago

nice choice of top ten ugly bikes. must say tho i disagree with 2 or three of them.

was your bandwidth not fat enough to get ALL the harleys in up there?


FunnyGuy 9 years ago

Funny thing here...we read a critiqe of *UGLY* things but

A) I don't see a picture of the author here...(is he TOO UGLY??)

B) I'm SURE he voted for BUSH...talk about UGLY!!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

rider: I usually prefered the BSA styling to its Triumph stablemates. I think the problem with this model is that BSA didn't style it but they subcontracted out the job to a kindergarten student. Glad to see that we have another Buell hater! :)

legz: A Harley is Charlize Theron grabbing you by the lapels, tossing you down on the bed and grabbing the Cool Whip. Some of the frailer little bikelets are Nicole Richie tugging on your sleeve so she won't fall over and passing on the Cool Whip since she's already eaten a strawberry today and she's full. :)

Skinny: The Multistrada is bubbling under the hot 10, definitely in the top 20.

Kermittheflyingbog: Let me explain the difference. If you design a motorcycle and you have to keep changing it, that means that it wasn't right in the first place. When you have a timeless design that is perfect in every way, you can just evolve it slowly as you have already achieved the ultimate! :)

Gaz: The Dodge was a concept bike, and yes, a very ugly one at that, The Paso and Aprilia definitely belong in the top 25 or so, and I have no idea what the guppy is, sorry!

Jyle Dupuis: Considering I know of a three bed, one bath, fully refurbished, new furnace and central air, detached home on a nice corner lot in this great little town near the Montana/Saskatchewan border for $9,000, I would say that $30,000 for a Rune is a bit much too! :)

Tony: Remember the Kenny Chesney song "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy?" Well, that's the difference when you ride a Harley, tractor, whatever... we get the chix! :)

Hodge: Thank you. But the BSA stays. :)

rotax: Thank you for the semi agreement, but most Harleys only belong on a list of the most beautiful things on earth, right next to Jessica Alba and a young Christie Brinkley. :)

FunnyGuy: I tried to take a photo of me for the Hubs but the camera lens kept breaking. Thank goodness my girlfriend is dazzled by my sparkling intellect! :) And what part of "I LIVE IN TORONTO AND THAT'S IN CANADA AND WE DON'T VOTE FOR YOUR PRESIDENT" did you not understand? :P


Roger 9 years ago

Is this a great thread, or what?!


dragline708 9 years ago

The Rocket III might be ugly to some , but

the fat lady sure can dance !

Or you can have beautiful thin lady , that just

lays there and looks good , it all boils down to

what Your satisfied with when the light go out ;)


Rick A 9 years ago

While I can agree on a few, my opinion is quite different on most others. It'd seem best to do an online poll and write about bikes people can actually agree on. There are many, many uglier bikes than most pictured here.


Duck 8 years ago

You must have never come across a Moto Guzzi Quota. Noe of the bikes in your top ten are even in the Quota's zip code when it comes to ugly. 


Zack 8 years ago

Hal, that was Effin hilarious.

At first I was outraged to see a Buell at the top, but as I read the comments and your replies, I almost wet myself.

After burying my closest brother last week, those were sweet, happy tears today.

Thanks

Zack


PACARVER 8 years ago

BUELL?? Most Ugly???...it is one of the cleanest,most advanced design to date. The CRACK you smoke is bad sh*t dude!!...or your jealous cause you cant afford one. Take one for a ride,do yourself a favor. you'll find it is one of the BEST(all round) bikes you could ever imagine. Don't compare it to a (garbage davidson) or a (GSXR) it is nether.


rick 8 years ago

What are you compiaring these bikes too. A boss hoss -harly ? lets see the ugly turd you ride


Laurie 8 years ago

It's funny how someone with such obvious bad taste can think himself worthy enough to comment on style. Lesson 1. You're an American...you don't possess the necessary brain power to do good taste. Lesson 2. Don't ever comment on things you know nothing about. Lesson over.


Northwind 8 years ago

The SV thou's belly pan is a bolt-on...


Rodger Sutton 8 years ago

I own a 2005 NRX1800 A Honda RUNE. I have been riding Motorcycles for over 50 years and this is one of the finest ever built.

I just goes to show yo. You don't know sh*t fro Shine'O'ah. I hope I don't offend the people at Shine'O'ah.


killergator 8 years ago

Harley's are like food from Mcdonalds. Billions served, over-priced. made of junk you shouldn't touch and never fresh. Notice the list is compiled of bikes other than Harley? Buelle doesn't count - it's only on the list because Hal wanted to create the appearance of objectivity. Show me a quality Harley that doesn't look like it was designed circa 1943. How about that world famous quality? How many stories out there about bolts falling off of them while cruising down the road?

Hal have you ever riden a Rune? Doubt it. It's obviously too much bike for you. Guess you believe that if it doesn't make you feel like you're striken with Parkinsons disease while you're riding it then it makes your list.Just keep clinging to that tired ole styling. You are no different than a 40 year old woman who still dresses like mid eighties version Madonna because she thinks it's still cool . Your taste for bikes is stale. Enjoy the next Big Mac - ooops Harley. I'm going to go enjoy my prime rib. Cya in the rearview .


3Putt 8 years ago

Hal...It comes down to the long standing argument. Those with Harley's and those who drive anything else. Harley is absolutely the best at marketing their products; anything short of genius, they would sell the V-Rod and nothing else. It's clear that you endorse Harley-to the point of no longer being objective and that's a shame, because after reading your list, it is clear to me that your credibility is very much in doubt.


bob 8 years ago

Peckerhead. nuff said.


slydog 8 years ago

I have a Honda RUNE and could have bought 3or 4 Harleys for what it cost.

What does that tell you.


slydog 8 years ago

I have a Honda RUNE and could have bought 3or 4 Harleys for what it cost.

What does that tell you.


slydog 8 years ago

I have a Honda RUNE and could have bought 3or 4 Harleys for what it cost.

What does that tell you.


slydog 8 years ago

I have a Honda RUNE and could have bought 3or 4 Harleys for what it cost.

What does that tell you.


Nathan 8 years ago

Well, I don't think ANY of these bikes rate as the ugliest of "all time," except perhaps the KTM. One of your choices of ugliests happens to be one of my choices for most stylish. I suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


HARDLY 8 years ago

I pushed all them Hardlys all over the U.S.


svforme 8 years ago

Haven't read this thread for awhile... Still getting bites on the same bait Hal!!!

Good onya mate, entertaining reading...


GazzaRuney 8 years ago

This dosent even merit a (*&%$*^%%)(* comment !!!!!!!!


Mopho 8 years ago

The 2005 FXDL definitely deserves top gong on this list. I give birth to something more captivating than any HD every time I take a dump.

Well written and a good laugh though.


Tim 8 years ago

Presumably this is a hoax?


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

No, this is not a hoax. Are you a hoax? :)


joecool14u2 8 years ago

well, i ride a '76 cb550k, and being its of old styling, and is still my means of transportation, i cant knock old school bikes, but i agree that some new technology is sweet, your ride depends on you, are you a biker or are you a day rider that don't read his plugs, if you haven't adjusted your own valves you need not apply as a biker ehh, who can afford to pay someone else to do what has to be done every 3000 miles, i get it all the time guys telling me there bike is in the shop or they have to take it somewhere else because the last place messed it up, and what the hell do you need to take your bike to get dynoed every time you tune it up, and why do you want a 90 hp harley with a belt drive that handle 60-100 hp to have 140hp engine kit, what you think the fairies are going to protect that rear drive or something, and how many of those speed demons on bikes faster than nascar have even been down going over 80mph, its so unpleasant, one time and i bet your done going over 80mph, and why do i care if your car is faster than my bike, your car can fly for i care, i ride for economy, preference, enjoyment, to get to work everyday, not to ride like its the last time, but to ride like i'm going to do it again tommorrow! so ride what you will, just respect what others do as well, or it would be a boring place we rode the perfect bike the perfect way dictated by the perfect biker in a perfect world, we are all different, just cruise along and enjoy it while you can, safe riding, joe


eldar 8 years ago

Wow, this list is nothing but poor opinions. But at least it is just a list of poor opinions. After all, it has to be poor opinion to claim the magna is ugly when it looks better than any hardley ableson ever made. Granted the rune is ugly but shelling out 30,000 is something most HD owners are familiar with.


eldar 8 years ago

Wow, this list is nothing but poor opinions. But at least it is just a list of poor opinions. After all, it has to be poor opinion to claim the magna is ugly when it looks better than any hardley ableson ever made. Granted the rune is ugly but shelling out 30,000 is something most HD owners are familiar with.


misterpm profile image

misterpm 8 years ago from Netherlands

I like such a topic, still think 6/10 should not be in this list. But hey, everyone his opinion!


joaojeronimo profile image

joaojeronimo 8 years ago from Maputo, Mozambique

Hey I liked the 1st 6th and 9th motorcicles lol...


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

I'll be happy to give you the number of my optometrist. :)


martin 8 years ago

No mopeds and scooters? Is the Honda C90's ugliness overlooked becuse of it's size, or familiarity?


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

The scooter variant of the C90 made my best 10 motorcycles list! :)


rharper profile image

rharper 8 years ago from West Texas

I was reading your comments about the Honda V45 Magna... it looks like the V65... did the 45 have the camshaft problem, too?

Source of info: http://www.hondamotorcycles-usedmotorcycles.com/ho...

Robert

P.S. The link goes to my friend Richard's website... he talks about the magnetized looking frame and why people liked it. Something about going past safe parameters.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

The V65 cam flattening problem was also evident in the V45, but only the early models. The combination of changing the alloy used to make the cam and increasing the oil flow to the head made this problem generally go away. The V's frames were horrendous right through the '90s and were strictly corner to corner rides. I've personally experienced a highway ramp speed wobble that nearly turned into a tankslapper on an '85 V65. I think what he's referring to in the "magnetization" is that the styling on all the '80s V4s, whether by Honda, Yammy or Suzi looked like the the bikes were magnets for the ugliest junk ever stuck onto a motorcycle. The styling of all these V4s was nothing short of wretched. If you really wanna puke, check out the Suzuki Madura. UUuuuuuuuuuuuggghhh...


HumptyHump 8 years ago

You must have written this article before the Victory Vision came out. It's good to know the Buell will no longer be at the top of anybody's ugly list.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

I've been planning a Top 25 Ugliest List and I can assure you that the Vision will be on that list! And believe it or not, there is a NEW number one ugliest. You'll just have to wait to see! :)


Sam 8 years ago

LOL! What a joke.


Swordsman 8 years ago

I've always thought the Lightning's looked like giant robotic cave crickets. Given that 90% of sportbikes are nigh indistinguishable, I like it... probably better than anything else on the road.


Swordsman 8 years ago

BTW, he didn't list any H-D because there's so little difference between them, it's an impossible choice. =P If you've seen one H-D bagger/chopper, you've seen 'em all... for the past 50 years. I exclude the V-rod, obviously... it's the one truly sharp design H-D has had in decades.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

Geez... and the VRod is the only recent Harley that I despise as a bland, neo-Japanese POS! As I stated in my TriGlide Hub, The Muscle cleans up the ugly bugly lines of the VRod a bit, but still makes it look like something that might have come from the Lifan or Hyosung styling departments. Yuck! I guess we have to agree to disagree! :)


Swordsman 8 years ago

Wait, so you think the VROD is "bland" and "ugly bugly", but you have no problem with the f'd up Fat Bob FXDF and that squirrel tail of a passenger seat? =/


Swordsman 8 years ago

My bad, I meant the Rocker C (FXCWC). The pic I was using as a reference was mislabeled. (Yes, I need pictures with labels to tell one from the next).

~SM


VALMAC 8 years ago

Hey HAL

I own two and have owned one other on your list 3 out of ten aint bad

I guess our tastes realy differ


vietnamese translation service 8 years ago

I like these bike pics!


Sas 8 years ago

Hmm, to each his own I guess. However, your opinion on the subject seems seriously skewed


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

Swordsman, the Rocker is a metal aberration. Willie G. should be ashamed of himself.

VALMAC, different strokes for different folks.

vietnamese translation service, thanks!

Sas, my opinion on the subject is my opinion on the subject. Don't like it? Write your own Hub! :)


Web Wanderer 8 years ago

You're kidding about the Lightning, ya? One the most stylish and (highly valued) motorcycles out there...they get snatched up quickly...they certainly are not your run of the mill sportbike, with comfort and good agility to boot. I'd have to disagree with the SV1000 listed on here as well. Do agree about the KTM...and some of the older bikes too, but then again, those were from a few years ago.

It is kinda funny, you have pretty much the whole gamut of motorcycles on here (except maybe tourers, which in my opinion are kinda ugly as a whole class...though they have their perks). I'd be interested to see a few pictures of what you think are the best looking motorcycles out there.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

This will answer your question:

http://hubpages.com/autos/Top_10_Japanese_Street-L...

... and I'm still working on the 25 Ugliest Bikes of All Time! I might even end up with FIFTY! Stay tuned! :)


Chris 8 years ago

hahah funny stuff!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

Note to triumphman: You keep on using profanity in your comments, I'll keep deleting them. Let's see who gets tired first.


Nibby 8 years ago

Surely BMW make the ugliest motorcycles of all time.

One fell over at a show with American and British bikes,everyone looked round and was relieved it was only a BMW.


Ferrel 7 years ago

This list indicates the shallow motorcycle background of the writer. There are no ugly bikes going back before 1970? What about Eastern European bikes from pre Soviet era break up? I'm sure the Chinese would factor in here somewhere - they make some cheesy copies of other makes. Come on, try harder!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

As I've stated before, I'm working on a MUCH LARGER list of UGLYBIKES dating back to the Stone Age. Coming soon! :)


Viper 7 years ago

Although I cannot argue with any of your choices, I personally would replace the KZ1300 with the Victory Vision.

The KZ still looks like a motorcycle that a normal Joe would ride, while the Vision looks like it should be straddled by one of the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. Take a look at the Vision head-on and you'll have flashbacks to the semi with the psychotic clown face in the movie Maximum Overdrive!

And a question for Bueller who posted the link to the bike with the odd rear end configuration...Was that merely a suspension mod designed to help that poor little bike support the two half ton monsters on it, or is there a purpose to that ridiculous looking nonsense? I just don't see the point of making a trike out of a Zoom-Splat.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Sure, the Vision is a Nightmare, and check my large list of uglybikes coming soon. You can bet it will be on there.


Mark on a Max 7 years ago

Roadog, the ugliest custom of all time.

http://www.roadog.com


b.whit 7 years ago

How come you specifically say the honda magna v45? i'm thinking it cause you didn't know there was 3 models of the magna, the v30, v45, and the mighty, fast as hell v65. i have a 1986 magna vf700c, aka the v45. i love this bike i've never ridden a more comfortable bike, i can smoke the sprotster 883 off the slop lights, meaning i don't know about top speed but on the way up to 55mph, i win. i've also heard sportsters can have some pretty bad mechanical problems pretty early in life. personally i think its gorgeous and multiple people i've encountered have told me the same thing. yeah sure everyone has an opinion so while you may not think it looks great it is an awesome bike.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

b.whit, at the time that these Magnas came out, I was the Editor of a major national motorcycle magazine, so actually wrote road tests on all three. I know them all very well, and can assure you that the 1986 V45 is just as ugly as the smaller and larger brothers!


Saffie Supaat 7 years ago

Mr Hal,

thank you for this very interesting site. I really enjoyed reading it although I may not really agree to the list.You are a very witty man and your responses are great. Ride safe always Sir.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Thank you very much Saffie. I really appreciate your kind words! :)


KCFemme 7 years ago

Hey Hal, I love looking through all your lists. I'm an admin over UnitedBikers and just posted a link to them to open up a discussion. Feel free to join us.


Vox T 7 years ago

The CB400 is certainly a nice looking machine, the KZ1300 definitely has a brutal, handsome air about it. Even the Rune has more charm than some typical metric cruiser. As for the classic post-modern lines of the BSA Rocket, well sir, you quite clearly are a nincompoop. I can't believe a single Harley Davidson or Victory didn't make your list.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Check the Top 100, Mr. Poop! :)


Jamie 7 years ago

Hal thanks for the entertainment! I disagree about the Buell....but who the heck am I anyway. thanks again!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Hey, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Even on the... YUCK... Buell! :)


Peter C 7 years ago

Wish I had all your "ugly" garage... I'm curious about your "Most Beautifull Top 10 Bikes".


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Although this is not specifically a "MOST BEAUTIFUL" but "BEST OVERALL" and it includes Japanese bikes only, here you go:

http://hubpages.com/autos/Top_10_Japanese_Street-L...


PWRHNGRY 7 years ago

Wow, couldn't pass this site up. I can honestly say that whoever calls these bikes the top ten ugliest is absolutely ignorant and obviously has pathetic taste. Also, must be the proud owner of an oil leaking, loud and obnoxious Harley that has to be pushed on occasion because the POS is independable. hahaa, what a joke. Anyway, keep on listing your garbage as there are plenty of ignorant people who with the same taste who will enjoy it.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Hey, thanks for the compliments. I appreciate it. Now run along as I wouldn't want you to be late for your hot date with Joan Rivers. :P


Toronto condos 7 years ago

ok, i don't understand at all. some pieces seems very nice and original (honda rune)...but you are a man, you know better...


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Well, I don't prescribe to the notion that men know anything better than women as I've found in my experience that very often the opposite is actually true. As for the Rune, I'll definitely admit that it has a very striking appearance, it's just one that makes me reach for my barf bag. However, there are many Rune enthusiasts out there which lead me to think that they're either blind, or that Honda mixed up hallucinogens with that metallic paint! :)


Chris 7 years ago

Well I own a Yamaha Stratoliner, a Buell Lightning, and looking forward to getting a Victory Vision, and I've always wanted a Rune, nothing better than standing out from the mundane crowd of everyday motorcycles.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Great! Are you going to become a polygamist now and marry Susan Boyle, Phyllis Diller and Rosie O'Donnell? Nothing better than standing out from the mundane crowd of everyday men... with taste! :)


LadyLuck 7 years ago

lol, this page is two years old or so? We're just now getting around to discussing it here:

http://www.motorcyclistsunited.com/forum/general-m...


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Hey, interesting conversation over there! :) You might want to check out a more recent and considerably expanded list of the Top 100 Ugliest at:

http://hubpages.com/autos/Top-100-Ugliest-Motorcyc...


creativeMind profile image

creativeMind 7 years ago from Cochin

KTM 690 is the ugliest among all.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Excellent taste! Yes, that KTM is really butt ugly! :)


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina

Some of these bikes look like station wagons! These are for people who think they were cool before cool was cool.

dori


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

It's funny that you mention that they look like station wagons as some of them, especially the Rune does! :)


aprilia 7 years ago

worst.. list.. ever!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Worst... comment... ever! :P


Jon 7 years ago

I just bought a 1984 V45 Magna. It is the most beautiful bike I have ever seen. I have wanted one since they came out. They handle as awesome as they look. And the sound is amazing. The only bike I know if that you can tell what it is by hearing it.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Yeah. I don't have to even see it. I can just tell by the sound that it's BUTT UGLY! :)


Jon 7 years ago

I will take it over any fat, ugly crusier that's built nowadays. What are the Japs thinking now? No distinction between Harley and the Jap bikes.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Yeah, because the Japanese (not JAP... that's derogatory) wisened up and stopped making mutant gargoyle wannabe cruisers! :)


Jon 7 years ago

Yeah, and they started making tanks. No thanks.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

I do agree with that point. I would LOVE to go back to the age where a 900 was a huge bike and a 1200 was a massive displacement reserved only for Harley Big Twins! :)


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

BSA 650! You idiot! You write such an interesting comment and then pepper it with filthy language! What a moron! Rewrite it so that I can publish it on a family friendly site like this and then I'll prove you wrong on every point you've made! As it is you're gonna be stuck in electronic limbo forever. What a wanker!


bsa 650 7 years ago

wanker is also filthy language.

and also i would add comment to something i don't know.

can i guess your american? after reading your bio - it sounds like it, some americans are wonderful people, however those which are an arse- go the full hog and stand out in the hall of prats (to use a family acceptable language).

however i am looking forward for you to prove me wrong on these points because believe me pal, on such a small island like the uk, you soon learn a lot of people that built these bikes, i personally don't own a rocket 3 but know many who do, designed and built them. as for the 400/4 i own one myself and find it a brilliant bike.

I have just happened to save a copy of my comment being a long on i anticipated that would happen.

.......

hey Hal, just for your information the bsa rocket 3 was designed in house, and before you want to try and prove me wrong, i know the designer of it and have seen some of the original designs and prints. and not ogle design or who ever you mention.

believe it or not but the bikes of the era were by original design up to similar specs as the honda's 10 years later, but big costs in machinery etc meant that the company owners were too happy to revel in the cash than spend some money than keep a business thriving (a typical english trait, and i am english born and bread, not a trick the japanise would do)

as for that apparent triumph hurricane you speak of, obviously you have never noticed it is a bsa rocket 3 with the rear loop chopped off, longer forks and a different styling kit. if you ever get the chance to get near one you will notice that the back stamping on them is BSA and not triumph - WHY? because bsa knew in 1972 that they were on their way to closure as did everyone, and the only way to market these in the USA was to label them as triumphs.

as for the 400/4 your just an ass for listing that, yes it superseded the 350/4, the tax free (in uk today) under powered little machine it was, compared to something with good servicing is capable of good speeds handling and acceleration, comfy for a tall rider like my self yet small in stature - and until you crash one they're an indestructible bike.

now i don't condone anyone saying these are the top 10 bikes i don't like, and listing anything they like, personally i don't like most harleys, some are just ok- like the riders some are ok, some are complete anatomy heads.

however and like most people who have replied in horror, it isn't for you to state a fact, opinion yes fair enough, but state its your opinion, and not make it seem like a poll.

and if that aint bad enough don't come out in these comments with crap and duff information, if you have got it from a book, and if you know anything about bikes or mechanics you will know by now that what's in the book needs to be taken with a pinch of salt, because usually they have got their duff information from some dipstick - maybe even you!

and after reading you bio, being a motorcycle journalist it makes sense, still doesn't mean you know anything, like our Jeremy Clarkson, doesn't know anything real about the subject just talks a good talk, and my fellow you do!

good night. good day!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Dude, wanker is used on TV all the time, so if it's fine for airwaves, it's fine for Hubs.

So now I will start the process of proving that you are just as clueless as the "habanero peppers cure cancer" bozos.

First of all... What geography class did you attend where they taught you Toronto is in the United States?

Now, let me set you straight on the Beezer as it seems you need a lot of straightening out. The BSA Rocket 3 was styled by Ogle Design, an outside contractor which had a long history of producing some of the ugliest motor vehicles on the planet. Tom Karen was the head of Ogle at the time. End of conversation. If you have some pub buddy who over a few pints tried to convince you he's the designer, he's just as clueless as you are. I too can claim that I designed the space shuttle, but WHERE'S THE EVIDENCE, DUDE?

So who the hell is claiming that the X75 was not a restyled Rocket 3? Vetter was a genius. Karen was a hack. So what?

The Honda 400/4 is an abomination. It's the bike for the connoisseurs of rat feces. Of course the engine is good, as the 350/4 was stellar, but what part of THIS IS A STYLING ANALYSIS do you not understand?

You see, when you have the profound honor of dealing with someone like me who unlike someone like you knows his subject inside and out, my opinions are fact. You may now genuflect and lay your prostate at my feet. And where does it say this was a poll? I polled ME. Why? Because on this subject, I'm right, you're wrong, and that's all there is to that.

Now, if you'd like to make a comment that is backed up by fact rather than alcoholic delusion, I'll be happy to entertain it. Otherwise, just go back to the pub and go talk to the guy who really wired together the first Apple computer while the two Steves were having sex with each other.

Sheesh...


bsa 650 7 years ago

i can't be bothered arguing, like i said on a previous post, looking at it in a different light i find it all quite comical.

i still agree to disagree, however i am not going to keep harping on about this, it is getting tiresome (i didn't know i mentioned torronto, but i did know it was in the usa, you didn't need to explain that)

the people that own these bikes providing they are in good running order love them for what they are, design, handling etc. i hated my cb400f until i sorted out all the mechanical and electrical faults, and now its like a totally different bike.

i hope you enjoy your time on this forum, and always remember that, one day life always comes around to bite you in the arse. just a tip for the future.

I would suggest for you that you do pop over to the uk some time and see if you can meet up with some of those who actually worked for bsa or who ever you wish to have opinion of, they will tell you exactly what went on as opposed to the glossy magazine editorials which were posted around the world to look impressive.

there isn't any need to think of a snide comment back because i cant be bothered talking any more.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

bsa 650, I can't be bothered arguing with someone who continues to insist that CANADA'S LARGEST CITY IS IN THE USA. It's like engaging in a battle of wits with an unarmed man! :)


bsa 650 7 years ago

sorry typing error in that last comment, was meant to say " i did know torronto wasn't in the usa" and not was. why would i argue over that? that would be a dumb thing to do.

Anyway good luck with your future hubs and projects.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Thanks dude. Have fun! :)


AJ 7 years ago

The CB400F, one of the ugliest bikes of all time? Are you high?!

The rest of the lot, you are right on the money. I would have started with Buell as well but would have gone so far as to use half the spots for Buell. They are the most hideous motorcycles on earth.

The SV1K I think is hate it/love it styling and I can understand someone hating it.... but the 400? That bike is an icon! There are a dozen bikes that belong on that list before the 400 even get considered. How about the Y2K? The Road Warrier, Battle Twin, or Westwind??


moby_dog 7 years ago

Damn, I always kinda liked the Lightning. I hate the other Buells (Firebolt, 1125R, 1125CR, Blast yuk) but the Lightning was the only one I liked. I think you may have forgotten one that definitely deserves a place on this list however. The Suzuki B-King. Front, sides, back, this bike is butt ugly no matter which way you see it going down the street. Please Suzuki, for the love of God if you ever make another bike this damn ugly, please don't export it.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

AJ: The Honda 400F next to the 350F looks like an accident victim! :)

moby_dog: Suzi's Burger King was not out yet when this list was written. By all means check out the Top 100 list which was written later, as it has a place of (dis)-honor there! :)


joe C 7 years ago

I have a kz1000 '77 before the square styling. i don't mind the z1 square body, especially the RTC turbo black and orange really looked great, but agree with the 1300's bulky tank. the HONDA cb400 is interesting only because of the sweet 4-1 exhaust. also it was remarkably bad-ass for its little size. i would die to have one and gave up my chance at one time. now i have a H-1 kawasaki im working on and have it only for the looks and the smoke.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Ah, the H1! The first real two wheeled rocketsled. It would have vied for the greatest bike of all time honors if all the world's corners were straightened out. As soon as the going got twisty the H1 would do it's best to highside you! Ouch! :)


Danerobb profile image

Danerobb 7 years ago from Philippines

Yes, an interesting list, and it seems that the feedback on your curious list chugs along....

As the owner of a really nice 07 Softail Custom, bikes as eye candy is paramount.. To me, most sports bikes are ugly! They may corner like hell under the right rocket pro, but their looks generally is all distorted angles and flow has little to do with design.

I have a Japanese acquaintance who designed and built his own chopper, and well, it's also all weird angles that simply don't work! But definitely the shape of most sports bikes has to do with oriental asian sensibilities of what "good" taste is all about.

The Magna V45 was designed, like the VMax, for gut raw power, and it succeeded for it's day. Lovely looking? Nah.

The Rune was certainly stylistic and not BAD looking, but the pipes simply way overdone.

The Rocket 3 also isn't bad looking: in fact some people love it. But it's hurt by the weird looking overdone mill.

The English? haha

As with the Rune, the Roadliner has style but the pipes. What is with this fixation on pipes? How about trying something really cool looking that simply complements the bike in sound and looks... that would be enough.

As for the others, yuk. But often the owners of these ugly bikes are enamored with them, until of course the next upgrade time arrives...


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Hey Danerobb, I find myself in agreement with you on most of your statements. Ride on!


Richard W 7 years ago

DUDE, are you sniffing GLUE ????????????


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Dude, are you? :)


George 7 years ago

The Buell is one of the hottest looking bikes on the planet. Pure art.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 7 years ago from Toronto Author

Sorry... you know... I've been an editor since I got out of university... so I can't help but correct your typo. Your last word is missing the first letter: F. :)


Shane Meyer 6 years ago

I'm very disapointed in your chosing the 75 cb400f as one of the ugliest bikes. the others fit ok.... but the cb400f doesn't belong. Do you even do any research when you added any of these? The 350 four was a pathetic machine lacking power in every way with handling just horrible. When honda debued the 400f, it's true it wasn't a smash hit but it held it's own. The cafe racer styling and the 4 into one exhaust were unique to the time! No other company at the time produced a stock 4-1 exhaust system. everybody could easily identify that bike just by the exhaust look, not to mention it produced a sound note that made it sound ready to eat other bikes. when it came to it's handling did you every even ride one? it was the best handling bike of it's time and every road test produced supports this. its purky 6-speed gear box ( something of a rarity at the time) got it up into the triples ( around 110 mph) and its set up allowed it to out handle most bikes of the period. Although it's true it wasn't the fastest on the straights, in the corners it could out handle even the fastest two stroke triples produced by kawasaki and yamaha, not to mention pretty much all fourstrokes of the time. The seat doesn't even chafe at all, infact its flat design is among the most comfortable ive ever riden. The gas milage is an awsome 50mpg, for 1975 thats great considering most bikes get lower than that today! the cb400's are among the most collectible bikes today and i don't think they belong in this list. The other bikes maybe, But the cb400 is one of the best smaller bikes ever built during the 70's thats all.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Er dude... right or wrong, you're dissin one the my top 3 favorite motorcycles I've owned. The CB350F IMHO was a dream. It just wasn't marketed properly. It was a sober, competent, sophisticated do everything bike. But Honda panicked and pulled the plug trying to go after the canyon carver crowd and came up with the horrendously misshapen CB400F.


Biker Y 6 years ago

I have a Roadliner Midnight. To dirt bikers it may be ugly, but at all the events I go to, I get complemented. They LOVE the Retro look. At night when they see the dash, they love its glow. I have never had anyone say anything negative about the bike.

It was designed and built in California, that may be why people who only ride in fair weather may want to diss it. I ride year round. Put 100000 miles on my Valk Interstate before the warranty was up, 85000 on my Vulcan 1500a before the warranty was up.

But that is what makes the bike industry what it is, different tastes for different people.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

One of my favorite motorcycles of the past decade is the Road / Wild Star. I do have my reservations about some of the Roadliner styling though. I think that the Art Deco went a bit far. :)


Andreone 6 years ago

Could you say us what's your motorcycle, if you have one?


Lieut320 6 years ago

I owned a Honda CB400F Supersport and it was great, it had handling, power, well not enough of it but it was a great bike. I rode it from Cleveland , Ohio to Niagara Falls and back riding 2 up. You said "Honda destroyed the jewel-like CB350 Four", was a very pretty bike but had zero power and no handling, my CB350 twin was faster.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Andreone: Read my Hubs and you'll learn about all 37 of my bikes.

Lieut320: Nonsense. The performance diff between the 350 and 400 Four is almost nonexistent. To quote Gordon Ramsay: You're talking out of your arse.


dongately profile image

dongately 6 years ago from Sana Clarita, California

Ugly Motorcycle is an oxymoron. To paraphrase Will Rogers, I never met a motorcycle I didn't like. If you find 100 of them to be ugly, you must be picky, picky, picky


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Yup. Mr. Picky! Daz me! :)


ab420 profile image

ab420 6 years ago from MA, USA

If you include bikes that never made it to "real" production... I'd add in that Dodge Tomahawk with the Viper engine lol.


tysonwelch4673 6 years ago

Very cool!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

ab420, what was Chrysler smoking when they made that absurd behemoth? :)

tyson, thanks!


ab420 profile image

ab420 6 years ago from MA, USA

Hal, I have no idea... I think they were just trying to create "brand excitement" or something.


humagaia profile image

humagaia 6 years ago from United Kingdom

You knows your stuff and communicate it well. So much so that I am going to link to your Hub so others can see how a good Hub is put together. Keep biking!


mr mr 6 years ago

Ill agree with you on the KTM, I don't know what they were thinking with that exaust and front end! I do like the Buell though, Other than the engine its a work of art, Just because somethings different dos'nt make it ugly.


adorababy profile image

adorababy 6 years ago from Syracuse, NY

If I were just judging solely by the looks, I think these engines look really good.


Mike 6 years ago

Were they not building Suzuki M109r bikes when this list came out?


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Check the top 100 ugliest list. :)


Kowalski 6 years ago

I grew up when the Jap bikes started appearing on our roads in the U.S.A. and what I saw didn't look very good. What I saw was cheap, thin metal cookie cutter junk. I never saw a Jap bike that was worth owning. All 4 Jap bike builders were putting out bikes that were priced cheaper than the competition, and they offered electric starters for the idiots who wouldn't know a kick starter from a fuel tank. I wouldn't own a Jap bike even if it was given to me.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

FYI: Jap is a racially derogatory term. Clean up your act.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Kowalski, I'm not publishing anything with racially derogatory terms. I told you already to clean it up.


mbsyderc 6 years ago

I don't find any of these bikes ugly.and i think the Buell is one of the best looking bikes.what do you think looks good? a Harley with ape hangers and studded leather bags and seat with fringe leather hanging of the grips,and don't forget the 3 foot high sissy bar.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

The Buell is SOOOOOOOOOOOO good looking that they're no longer around. I rest my case. :)


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

HEY!!!!

Minulla on yksi asia sanottavana! Nämä moottoripyörien ruma ruma ruma!

hehehe

:)


CommanderB 6 years ago

Totally agree! Especially on number 10. I've seen this on other similar lists.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Thanks, dude. I'm glad someone around here has eyes! :)


Fred 4 years ago

Hal, Even though I don't agree with a couple of your choices, Your page gave me a number of great laughs "the cats would bury it" line brought me to tears. I hereby declare myself guilty of liking the Buell, so help me God with the sentence I deserve.

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