Speeding Ticket Nazi

I have another fine story about speeding tickets from Milla Mahno - this girl just seem to love that kind of stuff :)

Traffic violation, ugh! That is the last thing I want to deal with these days. It's 8:30am, you're headed to work, and things are operating smoothly. Traffic is flowing as it routinely does and you get pulled over. Officer says you were in violation of some stupid penal code; you habitually roll your eyes thinking he is a Ticket Nazi and how can I persuade him that I wasn't speeding?

So, I am a mother. I got a mortgage that is overdue, dinner on my mind and health insurance to pay for. I cannot handle another traffic ticket. I have been down that winding road before and it gets expensive. So you overtly surrender your license, registration and insurance card. He lollygags back to his car to check your driving record and meanders back to present you a speeding fine.

So I barter with the Ticket Nazi, "Please, is there any possibility you can just offer me a verbal warning instead?" He looks at me as though he understands my turmoil; nonetheless he gives me a speeding ticket anyway. Then I get back on the road praying I don't ignorantly mess up again and get myself more traffic tickets.

How do I get pulled over in a Chevy Astro van? I know it is not that pretty but golly, it aint that bad! I wasn't driving like some out of control maniac or trying to set a new record. I just happened to cross paths with a ticket bully and I cannot afford it.

As if overlooking my car payment wasn't enough, tossing in speeding fines to my ever growing pile of debt was enough to make me want to seek a way of getting out of it. The only question left was which way would be the best way to go about it? So I headed to the study room to do some research. In today's information age I held there had to be a loophole in the law somewhere.

So I am thumbing through some book that guarantees you will find ways to beat traffic tickets when I see that this anthology piece of literature was written for ticket citations that happened in the state of Arkansas. Seriously, to top that off the law concordances were another blunder because they are written in hieroglyphs which didn't make a lick of sense to me. Now I figured it was time to resign because the search seemed inconclusive.

Pretty much crying my eyes out, some man tells me to try this publication that he found on the web because it worked for him. So I think I will give it a try. I could feel something I hadn't felt in years as I came upon the site because it was simple and chalked full of relevant information.

I did indeed use it; but I still had to pay a fraction of the ticket. It would seem I did some things wrong when I was stopped that day that cost me the eradication but most of it had to do with a laser, radar detectors or in other words evidence.

Don't get me wrong, the next time I got pulled over I did use it and I swear by it. I didn't even need to go to court! Muhahahaha...Those ticket tyrants should think twice before stopping this mom. They can harass me till they retire for all I care but all they are doing is wasting my time which, by the way, still irritates me off.


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Tell me what you think :) 53 comments

pylos26 profile image

pylos26 8 years ago from America

good adjective...and good piece...thanks...pylos26


WHoArtNow profile image

WHoArtNow 8 years ago from Leicester, UK

Clever hub, its always worth nowing what the law allows you to say, do or ask for in those situations. A good hub misha!

The girl in the second picture looks young though! She'd be pulled in the UK every 5 mins!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Very entertaining Hub Misha. We have Police like that here, they spend so much time on traffic violations that they forget to go after the real criminals.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

I totally agree with Misty...remembering my 2nd ticket ever last New Years Day on my way to the hospital for a treatment...Unmarked car with a jerk of a cop in it too...but I paid the ticket...was too sick to fight it...BUT not now ! ! ! Thanks sweetie...G-Ma :o) hugs


vitaeb profile image

vitaeb 8 years ago from Shenandoah Valley, Virginia

Wouldn't it be nice if the cops issued speeding tickets to the Wall Street Gang?

Just wishful thinking?


Melissa G profile image

Melissa G 8 years ago from Tempe, AZ

I'm confused... you're a mom? "So, I am a mother..." "Those ticket tyrants should think twice before stopping this mom" ???


thranax profile image

thranax 8 years ago from Rep Boston MA

Misha wrote more then 10 hubs, impressive =D

Na, really nice Hub-I enjoyed it!

~thranax~


Misha profile image

Misha 8 years ago from DC Area Author

Thanks guys and gals!

Whoartnow, I guess she'd be pulled off because she is pretty, not because she's too young :)

Cindy and G-Ma, yeah, that's one of my big problems with speeding and stop tickets - it's all about revenue, not safety...

Vitaeb, sure, reckless driving no doubt :)

Melissa, do you think moms should be stopped more often? :O

Thranax and pylos - Thanks!


sm firepepper red profile image

sm firepepper red 8 years ago from Orange County, California

Misha,

Great hub. Even though many police departments deny it, they still love to give out major tickets for minor offenses simply to make money for their departments! Now the new trend is those silly speeding cameras or the traffic cameras... no way to argue, just more revenue for the city. As if we don't already pay enough in taxes!!!


rockinjoe profile image

rockinjoe 8 years ago from Standing right behind you!

Great hub, as always, Misha. Those flashing lights behind you is the worst feeling in the world. Knock wood, I haven't received a speeding ticket in 20 years. I think a lot depends on the attitude of the driver as to the amount of the ticket you'll receive. I was stopped for not having an inspection sticker a few years back and the cop didn't even write me a warning. (They usually give you what they refer to as a five day warning in my state for inspection infractions)

But, I imagine if you get a Nazi. you're pretty much at their mercy. Slow down everyone:)


Melissa G profile image

Melissa G 8 years ago from Tempe, AZ

Ah, now I see the note about this being a story from Milla Mahno. That makes sense. To answer your question, I don't think whether or not someone is a mom should have any bearing on whether or not they get a speeding ticket. I agree that there are better ways for a cop to spend his or her time, but I also don't want any hockey moms speeding through my neighborhood.


Madison Parker profile image

Madison Parker 8 years ago from California

I HATE tickets. We all speed. I don't know anyone who actually gos 65 on the highway! It's just a matter of who gets caught!

Good hub!


Misha profile image

Misha 8 years ago from DC Area Author

Thank you for stopping by and commenting :)

Firepepper, yep, this is exactly what I am ranting about - it is all about revenue, and safety talks are just to blurr the picture...

Joe, I bet you can get out of ANY ticket showing the pic of your wife's chest :D

Melissa, LOL, I figured that :) Also, I think nobody will speed through any neighborhood if speed limits are abolished. Then people will think what they do. :)

Madison, yeah, if everybody breaks the law - the law is bad, not people :)


saikens profile image

saikens 8 years ago from Tellico Plains, Tennessee

I live in a VERY small town that love to pull you over if you go even 2 miles over the speeding limit,and then find any excuse to get you even more than a ticket, such as a trip to jail if you don't watch your attitude. It's GREAT! I am being sarcastic of course. ;)


magnoliazz profile image

magnoliazz 8 years ago from Wisconsin

Guess what? It's not fair, but a good looking woman rarely gets a ticket where I come from! It's the drunks coming out of the bars, then...out of towners (guys like you Misha! LOL!!!) who get it the most, then the rednecks, fat women are next ( it seems as if they are really down on fat women who speed), then the oldsters...it's a whole ticket system.


justmesuzanne profile image

justmesuzanne 8 years ago from Texas

Good advice! Thank you! :)


Ralph Deeds profile image

Ralph Deeds 8 years ago

Nice hub on an unpleasant topic.

Many Michigan communities are using traffic fines to help make up for declining tax revenues.

http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081117/METRO/811170333/1409/METRO


minnow profile image

minnow 8 years ago from Seattle

Great hub!


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York

'Tickets'...Oh my God! That's the worst thing which can happen to someone in the morning hours, especially. I have been hit twice with these 'money making tools' of the department. I never knew there was a website like the one you have mentioned here. Thx. Good read.


Roger Renwick profile image

Roger Renwick 7 years ago from Florence, Alabama

hi Misha, great hub, good topic, i try to always obey the speed limit, and stop at all stop sighs, it is hard to do when you have people trying to push you through the intersection because they are in a hurry to get nowhere.


druneric profile image

druneric 7 years ago from Ohio

Cute, funny, informative.


born to be free profile image

born to be free 7 years ago

Hello Misha, I remember a small town near Washington, we never worried about getting a ticket, the local cops were always down at the local pub stoned. Oh, and by the way, Thank You.....


SevDiggity profile image

SevDiggity 7 years ago from Hartville, Ohio

Misha, I love this hub... I have come in contact with the Ticket Nazi myself many times, had my license suspended for 6 months in 2008, have had my share of fighting off tickets (that I honestly felt were not given for valid reasons)... and you are right; it's not about safety. It's all about revenue. And I went through so much hassle just trying to get the proper forms to get my license back... researched everything on my own for HOURS in the local library... the court system in Canton, OH, didn't even supply forms for appealing license suspension or any others needed. I fought like crazy to change things, and finally after contacting the right people, they now supply the forms. So I at least saved others the hassle that I went through. But now I can proudly say I have been without any tickets for a whole year :)

Thanks for sharing Milla's story!


WordWielder profile image

WordWielder 7 years ago from Austin

HA, Great read! The pictures add a nice ambiance to the story!


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area Author

LOL Thank you everybody for stopping by and taking time to read and comment! I really appreciate it, I just was very busy lately, so sort of neglected this hub...


RKHenry profile image

RKHenry 7 years ago from Your neighborhood museum

I'd like to make a retraction. Misha great hub. I'm a fan.


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area Author

LOL RK I am always glad to get a new fan - and what exactly you are retracting?


tdarby profile image

tdarby 7 years ago

This is a great hub--thanks. I have a ticket Nazi up the street from where I work. I may try this out next time.


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area Author

Hi Tdarby, thanks for visiting :) Sure, give it a try, it will help if you have enough guts to implement it :)


AJHargrove profile image

AJHargrove 7 years ago from USA

A well-written story, and the pictures really added something. I especially like the boxing glove one. :D


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area Author

Thanks AJ :)


cliff 7 years ago

maybe instead of spendidng so much time figuring out loopholes to get out of the tickets you deserve you should all spend some time figuring out what the driving laws are and learn how to abide by them. if the laws are bogus then write to your goveror, sherriff, etc and have the laws changed or updated. and i would say that if the laws are writen in hyroglyphs they definately need an update


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 7 years ago from East Coast, United States

Misha, I know how to avoid a speeding ticket - don't speed! Just drive an old heap that couldn't break any speed limits if you begged it too. Oh, and let your mind wander a bit as you drive, you really slow down when you're thinking about who would play you in the movie of life. Or what to cook for dinner. Or what you could have said to that stupid bitch across the street when she started yammering about the 'parking situation over at your house.'


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area Author

Why should I Dolores? I like to drive fast, and I know how to do it way safer than the average person driving within speed limits. And sorry, thinking about something else when driving is a recipe for disaster, no matter what speed. :)

Cliff, I do know traffic laws quite well, and not only American ones, but in several other countries. And I do know which of them do help safety, and to which extent. You can write to your senator if you wish, I choose to drive as I like :)


cosette 7 years ago

I have to say, I think due to the sluggish economy, speed traps are popping up all over the place, as is the prolieraftion of photo radar and red-light cameras. I do know they drive pretty fast in Russia - it's like L.A. - you have to move or you'll get run down. anyone who can manage to navigate in those streets is awesome in my book ;)


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area Author

I think your observation makes sense, yet i don;t really see a significant increase where I live. that said, my county was always known for its crazy speed traps and biased courts... :)

Yeah, they drive fast in Russia, but relatively safe, cause those who drove unsafe already killed themselves :D


writewingman profile image

writewingman 7 years ago

I can really relate to this hub. I have been told that I have a lead foot. Just this year alone I have already been cited for speeding 3 times and have received tickets for all 3 occasions. I have accumulated 6 points on my record and it is a miracle from God himself that I have not had my license suspended.


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area Author

LOL Take a defensive driving course. Approved by DMV. In most states you get 6 good points right away. And try to educate your foot, judging by your pic at your age it seems quite risky, not in terms of tickets, but in terms of accidents. :)


The Rope profile image

The Rope 7 years ago from SE US

Thanks for a fun read. I used to drive a long way every day to work and was always on the lookout but it's the non-traditional routes that have me on my toes. It's amazing the areas that don't have very many posted speed signs - that's when you KNOW the Ticket Nazis are probably just around the corner!


festersporling1 profile image

festersporling1 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

I didn't know you could get good points from the defensive driving. As with your hubs Misha, well written and easy to read. I am going to follow you for sure.


Misha profile image

Misha 6 years ago from DC Area Author

Thanks for reading guys. And yeah Rope, chances are nobody is monitoring your speed if there is a huge sign about helicopters and radars LOL


electricsky profile image

electricsky 6 years ago from North Georgia

2nd story I read on speeding tickets. One other story on cell phone use. Maybe they should ticket the cell phone users and get their quota from them as they deserve it more I think


Misha profile image

Misha 6 years ago from DC Area Author

Well, if you ask me - tickets should not exist at all. If you screw up bad enough to inflict any damage, you answer in court. Otherwise it is a free country. At least it is supposed to be free. :)


electricsky profile image

electricsky 6 years ago from North Georgia

You're right it's supposed to be free. - Often times speeding tickets are revenue generators for various local communities.


jaymelee23 profile image

jaymelee23 6 years ago from United States

Electricsky is right.. that's just what speeding tickets are for... generating money.. so much for a free country lol


Misha profile image

Misha 6 years ago from DC Area Author

Not that I argue against this LOL.


HarHarHar 6 years ago

Wanna go out for dinner sometime?


Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

Wesman Todd Shaw 6 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

I hate cops. You're sort of my hero, Misha, but the "beautiful" I gave you was for the WOMEN!


from planet earth profile image

from planet earth 5 years ago

Cops have laser radar guns that can detect your speed from 1500 feet away. We have an analog speedometer that might be close to accurate depending on tire size, wear etc. Where is our technology?


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time

hehehe great hub Misha ...as always

So true and I relate :)

Vote up


Misha profile image

Misha 5 years ago from DC Area Author

LOL Thank you Leptirela, it's been a while :)


truthfornow profile image

truthfornow 5 years ago from New Orleans, LA

Speeding tickets are a fundraiser for the police when they feel like they need some more money. Here in New Orleans, they only care about speeding and not having an inspection sticker. They let people drink and drive all over town. You got a great Hub!


Jimmy Evola profile image

Jimmy Evola 5 years ago from Australia

Nice piece, I hate those ticket nazis too!

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