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Driving Rules

  1. darkside profile image83
    darksideposted 8 years ago

    Driving Rules:

    1.)  If, at any time, you have witnessed a green light, it is okay to proceed through the intersection, regardless of the current color of the light.

    2.)  The shoulder becomes a lane if you are driving a Porsche.

    3.)  If you paid more than $60,000 for your car, you automatically have the right of way, regardless of the situation.  This is especially, applicable in parking lots.

    4.)  Get to know your horn.  Use it as often as possible.

    5.)  While driving on the freeway and talking on your cell phone, alternate between 45 and 100 MPH. This is especially effective if driving in the fast lane.

    6.)  Every lane is the suicide lane.

    7.)  For parking purposes, all SUV's are compact cars. Honest.

    8.)  If a cop attempts to pull you over, give chase. You won't get away, but it's guaranteed you'll make live TV.  Towards the end of the chase, be sure to throw random items out of your window.  It will give the reporters something to talk about on the 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, and 11 o'clock news.

    9.)  Never use your turn signal, unless of course you are on the freeway with no intention of merging.

    10.) Totally disregard on-coming traffic.

    11.) In case of rain, immediately pull over.  You can not drive in any sort of precipitation.

    12.) While driving uphill, do not down shift.  While driving downhill, ride your brakes.

    13.) On narrow canyon roads,  feel free to use the centre divider as a passing lane.

    Source: My Email Inbox

  2. WeddingConsultant profile image82
    WeddingConsultantposted 8 years ago

    Darkside, I LOVE it man.  Great stuff!  This reminds me WAAAY too much of the way people drive here in the Washington D.C. Metro area!  Drivers around here are crazy and selfish.

    In fact, I wrote a hub about drivers and cell phones:
    http://hubpages.com/hub/What-is-proper- … -etiquette

    Surprised that one didn't make your list!

  3. funride profile image78
    funrideposted 8 years ago

    Now I understand why Portuguese people drive like mad http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_5_11.gif!

    They all must have received that same email lol.

  4. Stacie Naczelnik profile image89
    Stacie Naczelnikposted 8 years ago

    I love frequent "horners."

  5. The Indexer profile image80
    The Indexerposted 8 years ago

    Don't try using your mobile phone while driving in the UK - you'll get arrested! If you cause an accident because you were using a phone (unless hands free) you stand a good chance of getting a jail sentence. There are still plenty of idiots who try to get away with it, but people are gradually getting the message, just as they did with seat belts a few years ago.

  6. Stacie Naczelnik profile image89
    Stacie Naczelnikposted 8 years ago

    They just passed a law in Washington State that it is illegal to text message and drive at the same time.  The silly thing is that it actually had to become a law!  Sounds like common sense not to do those two things at the same time, but I guess not.