13 Things That You Are NOT To Do at High-Level Corporate Meetings

Speakers are the focal-point of high-level corporate meetings
Speakers are the focal-point of high-level corporate meetings | Source
Some big corporate meetings have meetings inside the big meetings
Some big corporate meetings have meetings inside the big meetings

What is your favorite part of a high-level corporate meeting?

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A bit about high-level corporate meetings

If you are now a valued-member of the workforce and just love your job in your office or if you are a seasoned-veteran of this big company, this piece is aimed right at you. And you, the “newbie,” and “seasoned-veteran,” will know instantly what I mean when I say this phrase: “High-Level Corporate Meeting.”

Some workers love these meetings for it means two or three days in a swank motel in Las Vegas or some other fun town where you stay in a comfortable room (at company expense), listen to the company C.E.O. talk in volumes about “Profit Sharing: Not a Game in The Sandbox,” or “Be ‘Mr. Punctual,’ and “Get Things Done.” Then you and your cronies (male and female), can head for the motel bar, have a few drinks, eat a great dinner, (these also at company expense), and do whatever you want for the rest of the night (which I might add is NOT at company expense).

Discussions help energize a high-level corporate meetings
Discussions help energize a high-level corporate meetings
New ideas are introduced at huge high-level corporate summit meetings
New ideas are introduced at huge high-level corporate summit meetings
Females, I am glad to say, are taking more leadership roles in the corporate world
Females, I am glad to say, are taking more leadership roles in the corporate world

High-level corporate meetings have changed over the years

I will be honest. And speak from experience. I have attended my share of these company events over the 23-years I worked in the business world, and some of these meetings can go on and on saying nothing. Bo-o-o-o-o-ring, says it all. Then “some” high-level corporate meetings can be a bit fun, if you just look for the fun in these company get-togethers where everyone either looks alike or dresses alike or both.

Then there are those employees who are rather talented at their jobs and good people at heart, who just cannot sit still for four hours straight, listening to monotone speeches without moving a muscle. Honestly. I was one of these employees and had to really discipline myself to just keep out of trouble.

To be of further help to employees without self-discipline, I have compiled this handy list of . . .

13 Things For You NOT To Do at High-Level Corporate Meetings

Music legend, Ray Charles, sits in on a summit-meeting during the 60's of the record label he worked for in his early career
Music legend, Ray Charles, sits in on a summit-meeting during the 60's of the record label he worked for in his early career | Source
Woman explaning facts and figures about inflation
Woman explaning facts and figures about inflation
Business leaders meet for a quick cup of coffee and some "shop talk"
Business leaders meet for a quick cup of coffee and some "shop talk"
Charts seen on big-screen monitors help big corporate meetings to be organized
Charts seen on big-screen monitors help big corporate meetings to be organized
  1. Squirm and fidget in your imitation-wood chair because the sound of your butt sliding to and fro against the fake wood sends out an annoying sound comparable to a lady’s long fingernails slowly sliding down a chalkboard. And doing this will cause you to get many angry glares and lips of other employees “mouthing” “When this is over, I am going to take care of you.” And no, this does not mean buying you a hot dinner, a stiff drink and some soothing words of encouragement.
  2. Do not make any animal sounds no matter how talented you are. Sure, this got you a lot of laughs when you were in high school, but dude, you are now a part of real life with a wife and child to support. Plus you cannot afford to have a criminal record for this is grounds to get yourself terminated.
  3. Before this high-level corporate meeting, DO NOT fill-up on water, soda, or a few discreet rounds of beer. Or didn’t you read the memo on conduct expected of you while this meeting is in progress? Point number three specifically stated: “No restroom breaks will be taken during this meeting. Attendants can use the restroom facilities at morning and afternoon breaks (10 minutes each) or at your lunch period (22 minutes). If you are caught sneaking to the restroom “during” this important meeting, you will be reprimanded and it will go on your employment record.
  4. No extra-loud coughing, clearing of the throat, or other physical distractions.
  5. No eating during the meetings. This means small snack items: Lifesavers, Tic Tacs, Icebreakers, Frito’s corn chips and other food-based items. We will enforce this due to how disruptive the sound of eating can be in a huge conference room.
  6. No whispering to a male friend or female friend. For any reason. If you must chat with a colleague, be sure to chat about the topic BEFORE or AFTER the meeting or be terminated.
  7. No laughing under your breath at something a coworker mimicked with his mouth a few rows away from you. This juvenile action shows us that you are not interested in our company.
  8. MEN: do not stand and adjust your “privates” during our meeting. You may do this at your break or lunch periods.
  9. FEMALES: do not stand and adjust the wrinkles in your skirt or apply fresh make-up. This too is an unwanted distraction.
  10. Absolutely NO cell phone usage. In case you have an emergency, one of our pages working our meeting will come by and discretely-escort you to a telephone.
  11. Absolutely NO iPad or Iphone usage to watch programming of any nature instead of respecting our facilities and speakers who were invited to speak at our yearly-meeting.
  12. You may not wave at or try to get someone’s attention while the meeting is in-session.
  13. If you are caught by our security cameras placing your feet on the back of the chair in front of you, we have the right to terminate you.

And finally, it is our hope that you enjoy yourself at The Desert Pearl Motel this weekend and thank you for attending our yearly corporate summit meeting.



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Comments 12 comments

aesta1 profile image

aesta1 2 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Worthwhile reminders! Some people really get bored with many presentations in these meetings. Doodling is very common. When mobile phones were new, my phone rang during the talk of a Minister and I did not know what to do. My friend immediately grabbed it when she saw my predicament and stopped it. Whew, I wanted to disappear.


old albion profile image

old albion 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

Hi Kenneth. Another greatly entertaining hub. Your insight into many things is of the highest order. How do you manage to output so much work. Well done.

Graham.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

I'd add: unless you are planning a second invasion of Europe, no meeting needs to run longer than one hour. Anything that needs more time and attention should be broken out to a smaller committee. I don't know how many meetings I've sat through where two workers hash through a detail that no one else needs to be in on. Good thoughts, Ken!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Kathleen,

Thank you, good friend, for your comment. I appreciate what YOU added which makes a world of sense.

I have endured such meetings and then those meetings where the speaker is unprepared and just says "uhhh," after each of the points me thinks he has made, but we already had them in an outline given to us a week prior to the meeting.

This almost makes me glad to not be near these wastes of time anymore. And dear Kathleen, have a peaceful night and a happy holiday season, Thanksgiving and a Very Merry Christmas.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

aesta1,

My sincere thanks to you for your kind comments.

Loved your cell phone reference. Did you buy that good friend a lunch? Please stay in touch with me.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

old albion,

You sir, are a true friend and gentleman. I appreciate your kind and uplifting remarks.

I do what I can to make my followers happy. This would be my main goal.

Have a peaceful night.


CatherineGiordano profile image

CatherineGiordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

Isn't it nice to be out of the corporate world? The worst of these meetings were in-house meetings called by a boss to justify his existence. And all you got was a coffee and maybe a free bagel once in a while. Then I had to stay late to make up for lost time and get my work done.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Catherine,

You are soooooo right. I seldom let those hectic days (and some nights) pass through my mind.

You are right, dear friend. I had a boss who would call an impromptu meeting to "fish" as he told me. He had a way to read employees' expressions to know or not if they were loyal or not.

I just agreed and went along with him.

Thank you for your sweet comment and stay warm.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

Oh how I remember those meetings! I think the most important item, as you mentioned, is watch what you eat. There is no time for bathroom breaks to handle unwanted situations! Your humor makes this all so easy to read and apply.


vkwok profile image

vkwok 2 years ago from Hawaii

If I ever get into the world of business, I'll know what not to do.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

teaches12345,

Thank you so much, dear friend. I want to thank you for sticking with me for so long as my friend and follower.

And I do not take you for granted.

I also remember those long, drawn-out corporate meetings with all of the newspapers in our chain would meet and let the publisher talk about what he had done, and surely, he had done a lot, but when you do things for others, I was raised to not remind them each time you seen them.

Teaches, my friend,

Merry CHRISTmas.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

vkwok,

Thank you for your nice comment and what is to stop you from getting into business?

I have faith in you.

And Merry CHRISTmas.

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