15 Rules For New Office Workers To Follow For Success

NOTE: This is NOT an angry boss

but a passionate boss who loves to see his company and new employees succeed.
but a passionate boss who loves to see his company and new employees succeed.

My 15 Rules For New Office Workers will enable you to deal with bosses like this

"I'm in charge," says this arrogant boss. But if you will follow My 15 Rules For New Office Workers, he will be your best pal.
"I'm in charge," says this arrogant boss. But if you will follow My 15 Rules For New Office Workers, he will be your best pal.
"But, sir, you gave me this afternoon off!" argues a hard-working employee of a boss who says one thing and does another.
"But, sir, you gave me this afternoon off!" argues a hard-working employee of a boss who says one thing and does another.
"Yaaay, the boss is gone!" Some employees despise their bosses to much that they party when he is out.
"Yaaay, the boss is gone!" Some employees despise their bosses to much that they party when he is out.
"Go where? Do what?" Some bosses can get this reaction from employees who do not understand their mythical process of dictating orders.
"Go where? Do what?" Some bosses can get this reaction from employees who do not understand their mythical process of dictating orders.
"Do what, sir?" This office worker's boss is very indecesive. Isn't clear in his instructions.
"Do what, sir?" This office worker's boss is very indecesive. Isn't clear in his instructions.

Rules, my new office employees, are everywhere

in the home, church, school, military and of course, the workplace. Have you ever imagined what our world would be like without rules? I have. And it's not a bad image, in some areas. "No Rules Football," would be my favorite entertainment. No rules. Just hard-hitting that sheds blood on the gridiron. Blitzing the quarterback before the ball is snapped. Ahhh, what a great show for CBS.

But back to reality. We need rules. To follow in order to keep us from a chaotic society. And to keep us from harm and danger. Just imagine our world without laws. People looting, shooting, fighting, killing, stealing. No thanks. The "No Rules Football" is violent enough for me.

The workplace also thrives on rules. Some rules for workers are not sensible while some rules are clear-cut. And in order for you, the fresh-out-of-college men and women, you need . . .

"My 15 Rules For New Office Workers To Be A Success"

NOTE: Parental discretion is NOT advised. Children are allowed to read this.

BE EAGER although you could care less about the "Wireless Apple Core Remover," just act as eager as any beaver and this will surely help you to make points with the higher-up's and coworkers.

ALWAYS RUN not slink, sidle or lumber. Run to wherever the boss sends you. If it's for coffee for him and his wife who is visiting, run. So what if others in the office laugh their heads off at you. They cannot fire you. So remember,run, run, run your way to lots of raises and promotions.

SMILE all of the time. No matter what is going on in your personal life. Even if "the" girl you loved more than your own soul has left you for some shiftless gigolo named, "Manny," smile. Bosses as a rule, comment to their bosses behind closed doors about employees who smile as being valuable to their companies.

TAKE NOTES about everything. Everyday. Never go anywhere without your notepad. Do not take a small tape recorder, that shows laziness. And that is one thing bosses cannot stand is laziness.

LISTEN to everyone when they speak. From the janitor to the vending machine guy. Everyone connected to your business has bits of information that may prove useful to you. God put your ears on your head for listening. Not to make you better looking.

BE EARLY every workday. At least 15 minutes early. Don't listen to those slackers in the office who get out their handkerchiefs and say, "here, buddy, let me rub that brown off your nose," they aren't happy to be working like you. Bosses know who cares about their job and who doesn't.

DO EXTRA things for people, bosses, visitors in the lobby, salesmen, and even rank strangers who stop by your place of business to ask directions to your competition. In this time of being early each day, make fresh coffee for your coworkers. Bring danish and blueberry muffins. Not everyday, that would be financially senseless. Just once a week. This gesture will pay huge dividends.

NEVER FLIRT with attractive females in the office. If you do, they can sue you and your company for sexual harassment. Be a "stick in the mud," and mind your business. Who cares if you never get to date them. They are not signing your paycheck.

NEVER ARGUE with coworkers over anything. If a senior employee says that the Green Bay Packers are a "lousy team," even with their 12-1 record, agree with him. Companies hate troublemakers in any form. An easy-going employee will go far in today's business world.

FIND REASONS TO COMPLIMENT (only male) coworkers on their work, performance in the company or for the way they helped you by loaning you that five-dollars so you could have lunch. Be sure to either return the favor to that friendly male employee or pay the money back now. A caring employee is management material. Good thing to know.

NEVER GET INVOLVED with any form of office politics. If "Jim" is passed over for a promotion although he had years of seniority and worlds of experience, but "Buddy," the boss' dim-witted, college drop-out nephew, got the high-paying promotion, do not join in "Jim's" resentment for the boss or his nephew. Console "Jim" but only on your own time. A kind word just might prevent "Jim" from storming in one day and "punching out" "Buddy's" lights that ARE on.

ALWAYS VOLUNTEER for any overtime offered. This is a great way to get a raise and promotion. So what if the lazy coworkers in your office are going to a strip club and having a "guy's night out," you are the one paying dues and you just might be their boss one day.

STAND UP FOR coworkers who ARE in the right. This is not office politics, but the moral thing to do. If "Ned," is accused of flirting with "Jane," the "60's throw back to hippy days," but he was with you at the time of the said flirting, then "buck the system." Stand up for "Nedd." He will pay you back one day. When he is sober.

BE BRIEF when you talk to the boss in his office for whatever reason you have to see him in private. Bosses love to not have to talk to employees.

Example: YOU: Err, Mr. Thompson, may I see you a moment in private?

BOSS: Sure,Wigglesman.

YOU: Thank you, sir. May I have a half-day off next Tuesday?

BOSS: No.

YOU: Thank you, sir.

See how easy that was? So what if you get a deadly virus from that appendix surgery that you needed off work for. Could be, out of pure pity, "Mr. Thompson," will give you that half-day off anyway.

DO NOT DISCUSS personal problems in the office. At any cost. For any reason. You are a single man fresh out of college. You cannot afford any black marks on your employment record. Keep whatever burdens you are bearing to yourself and "act" happy as you do your mundane tasks at your job. My point. By revealing a personal problem, you are also revealing your weaknesses to a coworker who might use them against you one day. Keep that in mind.

And on that certain day in your near future, when they start calling you, "Mr. Wigglesman, senior vice-president of the company," you will look back on the joyous day that you read THIS piece and used these rules to help you get where you are today.

And when you see a "special employee," that you have just hired and he is following these same rules, promote him immediately.

He might be my irresponsible cousin, "Jake," who has wised-up and now needs to work to support his new girlfriend, "Bubbles," and their new baby which in all probability, belongs to him.



This boss is lost in thought

about a group of employees who don't care for their jobs. He has a tough decision to make. Keep them. Or fire them.
about a group of employees who don't care for their jobs. He has a tough decision to make. Keep them. Or fire them.

Is "THIS" how YOU want to end up

in the world of work? I didn't think you did. So if you follow My 15 Rules For New Office Workers, then YOU WON'T be seen with groups of  "loafers" like this: unemployed.
in the world of work? I didn't think you did. So if you follow My 15 Rules For New Office Workers, then YOU WON'T be seen with groups of "loafers" like this: unemployed.

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Comments 10 comments

JGoul profile image

JGoul 4 years ago

Great hub. I disagree with one point, though. You seem to be implying that men should avoid commonplace social interaction with female co-workers out of fear of a sexual harassment complaint.

First, those complaints aren't as cut and dried as most people think. It's very difficult to inadvertently harass someone.

Second, you're right that bosses expect employees to walk a pretty fine line when it comes to their interactions with the opposite gender. But they expect you to actually walk it, not ignore the opposite sex. The work force contains two genders; employees who get promotions are the employees who demonstrate they can interact appropriately, fluently, and naturally with both.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Great tips. Less is always more and as my Grandma always told us "keep your own counsel".


Sueswan 4 years ago

Dearest Kenneth

BOSS: Sure,Wigglesman.

"YOU: Thank you, sir. May I have a half-day off next Tuesday?

BOSS: No.

YOU: Thank you, sir."

There are times when I have asked my boss for a half a day off and she always say yes.

Great hub my friend. Voted up and awesome.

Take Care :)


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean

Great Hub! Some would have an easier time than others smiling all the time, but it really helps. I also like "Listen." Thanks for the rules.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Great hub kenneth! I wish this could be copied and sent to all offices.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, JGoul, thanks for the nice comment. I loved it. But I was writing this in thoughts of new employees with MY IQ, low, but happy to get an office job. People like me, friendly and polite, can easily mistaken for a low-life male jerk who DOES use flattery for sex. Im bold now and honest. But men like me and my IQ, are most times the victims of a self-righeous female employee who only uses men like me to advance her career by helping her "friend," the boss, "weed out," caring, hard-working guys like me. Sorry to sound so harsh, but this is the truth. In my hometown, I knew two guys who had been with a company for most of their lives, and were fired by a new lady CEO from a complaint by a girl who was friends with her daughter . . .and she complained that these guys asked her for sex during lunch when all they said, by witnesses, was what time did she have? I guess asking time is against Federal law too. Now do you see why guys like, need to be MORE careful in the workplace?

Thanks again and share anytime you like.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, breakfastpop, long time no you. Where have you been? Busy with hubs, right? Im so glad that you took time to comment on this hub. Your grandma was a wise lady. So are you.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Susan,

Poor Wigglesman, I used myself as his character in the office. And when I DID work in an office, and needed a little time off, it was like going before Congress to ask for a new bill to be passed. Other employees would TELL OUR BOSS when they wouldn't be on duty. Hmmm, telling and asking . . .I must have used the wrong approach, LOL!

Thanks for your sweet comment.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, MsDora,

you are absolutely right. Smiling and listening could help our society to function smoother. And better. I admire you for your wisdom. Thank you for sharing. And thanks for your time in reading my hub.

Your friend,

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Catgypsy,

As usual, I find myself humbled by your comment. Are you sure that offices would use this? I worked in one who never used guidelines except for the family who owned the busiess. They gave us rules on how we could make his son more money. It was estimated the son made $800.00 a week...take home pay, while the workforce were glad to have $250-$300 a week. After taxes.

Glad those days are gone, catgypsy!

Come again soon.

Kenneth

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