Calling all men - How much would you charge to rent your services?

Business plan summary:

Mr. Rental strives to be a company that hires men between the ages of 21 and 100+ for the purpose of rendering manly type services to single women (or perhaps married women), who, through no fault of their own, wish to rent a man for various purposes that cannot be remedied without the presence of a hired man.

There are thousands, perhaps millions of single women who are or are about to be reduced to the horror and destructive presence of CATS (shudder) simply because they do not have a man around the house for the necessary 2 or 3 hours a week when such manly presence is needed to do the few odd jobs that single women cannot or will not do.

Hot Dates - The Three On The Left or Julia Roberts

Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Julia Roberts, Steven Soderbergh
Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Julia Roberts, Steven Soderbergh | Source

Mr. Hot Date Candidates

  • Mathew McConnaghy
  • Brad Pitt
  • George Clooney
  • Matt Damon
  • Tim McGraw
  • Charlie Sheen
  • Taylor Laughtner
  • Barak Obama

Wanted:

Mr. Rental is seeking men, preferably young, handsome and strong, to perform duties as required by the female of our species. Experience is not required, but having a loving mother that raised you correctly is a plus.

Duties include, but are not limited to:

  • Mr. Sensitive - must have a large shoulder to cry on and be overly sympathetic to phrases like, "My jeans don't fit anymore!" or "My ex is SOOOO stupid!" or "My boss is such a bitch!" and "Will you watch Eat, Pray Love with me?"
  • Mr. Nice Guy - must bring flowers with every assignment and be willing to tidy up the house. Must be willing to cook, clean and take out the garbage without grumbling. Must never utter a single disparaging word. Must always compliment the woman and be willing and able to take her out to dinner or an event. This means that you will have to give up any and all TV shows, including sports like the Super Bowl.
  • Mr. Pretense - Requirements include: fancy dresser, drives a nice clean car, looks like a man that will fit in with the woman's family. This Mr. Rental will be playing the role of a loving boyfriend that may someday pop the question. It is only for show and Mr. Pretense must be willing to answer all questions about becoming a devoted, wealthy and loyal husband "some day". Bonus bucks if the family actually likes you!
  • Mr. Kill a bug - Must have large feet and quick reflexes. Must be available almost instantly whenever a spider, roach or imaginary bug is discovered. Must be willing to console ladies with phobias to insects at all hours of the day and night. It is possible that the hiree will request that you hang around in case another bug decides to wander in. You will be compensated for your time.

Mr. Kill A Bug

Victorian funnel web spider, Eeeeeek!
Victorian funnel web spider, Eeeeeek! | Source

More Men Rental Ideas

Mr. Rental (continued) is seeking men, preferably young, handsome and strong, to perform duties as required by the female of our species. Experience is not required, but having a loving mother that raised you correctly is a plus.

Duties include, but are not limited to:

  • Mr. Repair a leak - When giggling the toilet just doesn't work, a single lady needs to hire a man to repair the thing-a-ma-jig that controls the toilet flushing apparatus. Mr. Repair a leak will obtain more clients and command higher rental fees if he also knows how to change light bulbs, find jewelry that has been dropped down drains or in other inaccessible dark places and knows how to clean an oven.
  • Mr. Car Washer - Ladies cars get dirty and there is only one way to get them thoroughly clean, that's right, hire a man. Men love cars, men love to clean cars. They call it detailing. So if you are detail oriented and like to clean cars, this is the job for you.
  • Mr. Hot Date - No CAT can substitute for this rental. Mr. Hot Date is required to be HOT! Guys that do not resemble George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Dwayne Johnson, Liam Neeson, Josh Duhamel, Orlando Bloom, Jake Gyllenhaal, Bradley Cooper, Robert Downey Jr., Johnny Depp, Sean Connery, (or anyone who has played Agent 007), Michael C. Hall, David Beckham, Gerard Butler, Alex O'Loughlin, Jason Statham, Boris Kodjoe, Jared Leto, Christian Bale, Robert Pattinson, Justin Timberlake, Shemar Moore, Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel, Will Smith, Leonardo DiCaprio or Antonio Banderas need not apply. Must work for tips only!

Mr. Cash Cab Driver

Ben Bailey - Mr. Cab Driver and all around fun guy!
Ben Bailey - Mr. Cab Driver and all around fun guy! | Source

More Rentals Needed:

Mr. Rental is seeking men, preferably young, handsome and strong, to perform duties as required by the female of our species. Experience is not required, but having a loving mother that raised you correctly is a plus.

Duties include, but are not limited to:

  • Mr. Entertainment - Sometimes a lady requires a man for entertainment purposes. Must have an exceedingly gifted sense of humor. Must love women of all ages, shapes, sizes and socio-economic groups. Mr Entertainment will never be subject to layoffs. Work all the hours you can stand.
  • Mr. Massage Therapist - Must be registered and a graduate of a fully qualified school of massage. Must be professional in manner and have the hands of a god. Must be willing to work quietly and adoringly to maintain a lady's sore and tense muscular makeup. Happy endings are negotiable.
  • Mr. Taxi - This rental must be willing to perform personalized taxi services above and beyond what a normal taxi driver is willing to do. You will not only have to carry all heavy items to and from cars, you will be asked to be patient and have an exemplary driving record. You can never scream or have road rage. If so, you will be fired on the spot and will have to pay psychological damages to the woman who is telling you where to go and how to get there. You are also not allowed to get lost or be late.

Now what to charge for Mr. Rental?

Please answer in the comments:

Women : How much would you pay per hour?

Men : How much you charge per hour? Please specify which Mr. Rental you qualify for and why.

Mr. Rental survey...

Which Mr. Rental do you need to hire?

See results without voting

© 2012 Austinstar

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Comments - What's the going rate and need for rent a man? 61 comments

LucidDreams profile image

LucidDreams 4 years ago from St Petersburg, Florida

When I have the time I would be more then happy to help women out for free....Sometimes it is very nice to just hold a conversation with those of the opposite sex and get to know each other with no strings. Even as in my case, I am already in a committed relationship. It can still be a time for both that is enjoyable and worthwhile!


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I'll take all of them :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I will give ya 2 bucks for the dancing queen in the video! LOL Brilliant hub - you are too much!

I did vote for the Kill a bug guy - because Dave gets so mad when I make him run upstairs to do that. I can't believe he would expect ME to do that! lol


missolive profile image

missolive 4 years ago from Texas

LOL - this is too funny. My oh my! How does one decide?!

I think I'll keep my hubby, but it sure is fun to window shop! :)


barryrutherford profile image

barryrutherford 4 years ago from Queensland Australia

food for thought !


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Ok, why hasn't anyone voted this hub 'funny'? Do y'all think it's a viable business idea?


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

a middle aged man, (mature, balanced)

poet (sensitive)

theater actor (mr pretence)

soft spoken (nice guy)

lover of cleanliness (car washer,house tidier)

engineer by training (leak fixer -0f taps of course)

gym toned body ( massagist,hot date)

good conversationalist ( entertaining)

owner of a gas station (taxi etc etc)

and with a sense of humour (level 7 certified)

is willing to work for a dollar an hour plus 11 per cent service tax,2.3 % transaction tax and 66.33 % non curvy tax.(women with the right curves get all taxes waived)

HOWEVER

for risking staying over at the woman's place (and the attendant risks with the wife) the charges will be 250 dollars a bug killed.(if this is all she wants the man to do)

what a blooody waste of talent!!! this talented man(every woman's dream)goes into a ladies bedroom and all night just sits up killing bugs!!!!!! you will have to pay heavy for that lady.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

Yes, this is the best idea ever! I could use Mr. Taxi on Saturday. I need to renew my license, but don't have a car (how ironic!) and the motor vehicle admin office is not in a great location. I need Mr. Taxi to get me there and possibly fight off scary people that may approach me. Voted up and awesome!!!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Neelesh, I am rolling on the floor laughing my butt off! You are hired, my man. I get 50% for being your manager.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Well, JIAB, looks like we need to go into business. Anyone want to venture capitalize us?


Marlena Oechsner profile image

Marlena Oechsner 4 years ago from Wisconsin

Love this! Nice to see you took an idea and ran with it! I will take one of each Mr. Rental, but is there a discount for booking overnight, or is it simply by the hour? Does Mr. Sensitive come with a cuddling clause? Great hub!


nityanandagaurang profile image

nityanandagaurang 4 years ago

very unique and interesting hub austinstar.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

How did I forget the cuddling clause? I shall add it post haste.

Since I'm going to maintain that single women don't want to have to deal with cleaning out the cat litter, er, cleaning up after men - like putting the seat down, picking up undies with skid marks or dealing with spilled beer and food on the sofa, I will insist on hourly fees. We don't want the single ladies to have to deal with the minuses of having a rental man actually over stay his welcome.


adrienne2 profile image

adrienne2 4 years ago from Atlanta

Hi Austinstar, You really got me by surprise your article took a turn. I thought you were writing about an open-ended question asking a fellow male audience how much they thought their services were worth. Instead you went in a totally different direction. I found it creatively written, and funny also voted funny.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

But it is an open-ended question asking male readers to give me some idea of what they would charge to perform these services!

I'm trying to start a new business here. This is called market research. Ok, so I got stuck on the Mr. Hot Date, but really, single women need men to contract for these jobs! If guys can pimp out women, why can't I rent out men? (and get a piece of the action)


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Who voted for "other" and what did you have in mind?


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Austinstar...

As this writing thing does not seem to be paying off like I had planned...you know...with money...I would like to submit an application.

I think I would do well as Mr. Entertainment or Mr. Massage Guy. Conversely...I would like to HIRE a guy to be Kill a Bug Guy...I hate having to stop a massage to kill a bug. I also hate bugs.

Awesome article!

Thomas


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

The beauty of being a Mr. Rental is that you can pretty much set your own hours and fees. This would be a Temp agency that I would manage, you know, to free up the employees for more important assignments.

Most bugs I can handle, but I definitely need a rental guy to kill scorpions for me. I HATE scorpions.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

I hope no cats or spiders are killed or injured as a result of your very funny article.

I would like to apply for your agency. It might be a lot of fun, but I won't kill bugs. I like them.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

I shall have to draw up some kind of working contract.

You won't even kill scorpions? Creepiest bug on the planet.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana

ahah I loved this! it was quite entertaining and funny. A few of those was a bit...extreme lol and no one guy could definitely fit all of them there is none that exists! at least not in the real world lol. if only! haha oh and I am a single 24 year old and I already have a cat! Oh no's! lol great hub!


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho

Voted up and awesome! I voted for the Mr. Repair a Leak because my husband is about as handy as Paris Hilton with a power tool.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I could see this business plan becoming a franchise very quickly! I voted funny!:)


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 4 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

As a semi-pro househusband I can assure you that there is not enough money on the planet that would have me offer my services...to anyone but She-Who-Is-Adored, that is.

My going rate is a cuddle per day, which is great and everything, but with tax time fast approaching, I'm a bit worried about how I'm going to pay the government...

Cats are a bad idea. They are clean. Everything around them is not...

Chris


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Awwww, Chris - a cuddle per day. I'll double your fee to come work for me! You nailed it on the cats thing.

Sunshine - what a great idea. I wouldn't have to do anything except sell franchises! How much do you think I could get?

Jennifer - Paris Hilton with a power tool! OMG! I know the feeling. My husband needs Mr. Taxi just to drive him to the car out in the driveway. He gets lost on those circle rounds and definitely will NOT ask for directions.


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

This is an interesting concept. I am afraid I don't qualify. I am washed up, lazy and my car got repoed.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

WD, perhaps you should hire Ms. Rental!


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

I'm broke, too.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

TOO funny! I have a husband and I'd STILL like to rent Mr Kill-a-Bug if I could :D My husband just thinks its funny to watch me freak out over the spider in the corner ahahha Great Hub!!!


rasta1 profile image

rasta1 4 years ago from Jamaica

Know I understand why Jamaican men are so popular with American women. We'll do all of this for free and even build a little hut on the beach.


diogenes 4 years ago

Why am I reading this!?

Bob


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

I'm moving to Jamaica then :-)


Pcunix profile image

Pcunix 4 years ago from SE MA

Hmm.. and I've been doing all this and more for free for almost 45 years? I'm sending this to my wife!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Well, PC, that's the benefits of being married!


thougtforce profile image

thougtforce 4 years ago from Sweden

I really think this is a great business idea! In Sweden it would be called household services which is a really good deal. If we buy a service like this from someone, the state pays half the cost! But for now, it is mostly used for services like cleaning, building and such and no one have thought of this type of services. So you should considering to start your business here:)) Or may I steal the idea? But then I will need a few men.....

Tina


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Boy, do we have a lot in common, Lela. I'm stuck on Mr. Hot Date, too. Especially if he can morph into Mr. Entertainment, too, if you know what I mean. :)


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Thoughtforce, if things don't work out in Jamaica, I'll go to Sweden next. Go ahead and get the ball rolling as it were.

drbj, We are each one side of the same coin I think!


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

listen austin,where do i send the 50%.I am so swamped with work I cannot tell you.I killed 6 bugs at this ladies place last night and when i handed over the 1500 dollars to my wife telling this was my pay for working at the ladies' all night she exclaimed"what an idiot the lady is, based on your usual performance at home i wouldn't pay you 10.what a despo the lady must be" not knowing i had made the amount killing bugs!!!!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Neelesh - Wow, I'm making money already! You can send it to my PayPal account! Your wife gets to keep the other half. I'll have to set you up with another assignment right away!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

BOB! LOL LOL -- hilarious comments!

I see a guy who kills bugs is gonna be a hit!!


Stephanie Henkel profile image

Stephanie Henkel 4 years ago from USA

Wow, it sounds like I could rent out hubby for quite a profit! He's really good at killing bugs and repairing leaks! Maybe I could trade some of those services for a Mr. Taxi - mine gets pretty upset when I tell him where to go and how to get there! LOL... Love the hub, and the idea!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

I know! We married women are sitting on a Gold Mine! Right?


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

money sent but please make sure that the next assignment (read that as assignation)is not only for killing bugs in the ladies bedroom all night.it can get quite bugging just sitting there killing bugs and hearing madam snore.

as it is i make no money for all the hard work -half goes to you and half to my wife- i might as well have some fun!


diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

Beautiful women get all this for free

Bob


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Oh, Bob - Are you saying that it is only ugly women that have to rent a man?

Neelesh - You work so hard! I'm giving you a raise!


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

are there ugly women? never met one.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Thank you, Neelesh!


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

why are you speaking on behalf of the ugly women? you bob will attend to for free.

(just buttering the boss ok- nothing personal)


DannyStouffer profile image

DannyStouffer 4 years ago

Awesome concept! Very funny but feasible. I love the outside the box thinking. And your rental equipment maintains themselves or they may not get anymore work. High profit margin business too!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Wise you are, Danny!


Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

Wesman Todd Shaw 4 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

I don't think I'd be good at that business....I could well be a manslut - but I've gotten older and my tastes and tolerances of some things have changed.

Still, for the right female and should I be in the right frame of mind...this sort of service could definitely be made available!!! (...but whether or not I'd ever get any takers...is another thing!)


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

I'm sure you would do well as Mr. Kill-a-bug, Wesman :-)


Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

Wesman Todd Shaw 4 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

YEP!!! That and Mr. "snake be gone!" would do well for me!!!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

OMG...this is so funny....You have a great idea here, Austinstar. A young entrepreneur, I see.

Would you be the female counterpart to a "pimp?" Really, I hope these men must report to you before and after each appointment....and hand over your share of the money! It's only fair.

Wesman, you sly little bachelor, must you ALWAYS be singing your mantra as you head for the bedroom. Or is it a flute you play as the trail of ladies follow along behind you??

Austinstar....don't even think about adding "snake be gone" to the list of services. It will only encourage Wes!!


Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

Wesman Todd Shaw 4 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

LOL! I'm stuck on my Irish girl...she's not used to snakes for the obvious reasons, so I'm going to play that one UP UP UP!!!!!!!!!!!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

How much for all of them?! I am scrabbling about in my purse looking for some money, how do I hire? haha! love it, and the video was hilarious too! votes all the way! Oh and don't forget Ian Somerhalder from the Vampire Diaries! Ummm!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Yes, My company would pimp out all these guys and I would get a huge cut (for all the overhead you know).

O O

l

\_____/


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

This is soooo funny. I am good at killing bugs exuberantly enough to spot the wall. Leaky faucets stop me cold, but I can carry on a pretty good conversation about literary matters and West Texas in the fifties, not to mention the amount of rain in Oregon. Am tall enough to reach things on high shelves, but don't ask me to paint. Probably good for special circumstances only.

What a great idea you had here for a Hub!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Thanks xstatic! If you've lived in West Texas, I can put you down as an expert scorpion killer. I definitely need one of those! How are you with fleas?

I hope you are being paid well for your services.


Cathryn 4 years ago

How do I hire?


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Hi Cathryn, just contact one of the guys offering their services and remember to tell them to send me my cut of the fee.

Join hubpages and write a hub about your Mr. Rental experiences :-)

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    Austinstar profile image

    Austinstar1,075 Followers
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    Lela earned a B.A. degree in Journalism from Sam Houston University in Huntsville, TX. She has been writing for the online world for years.



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