Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest Crooks


Everybody loves a good dumb crook story. Here’s a few gleaned from a few internet searches.

Police received a call reporting a theft. The person also included some marijuana as part of the stolen items. The man called again later from his vehicle to say how upset he was over the police department’s inability to find his stash. It was later discovered he was operating his car under the influence when he placed the second phone call.

A man spent 19 years of his life behind bars for seven counts of intoxicated driving. Upon his release he gets arrested again for the same offense while celebrating his new found freedom.

A drive-by shooting was foiled when a man forgot to roll his window down before discharging his fire arm. He then had the audacity to get the window replaced and make an insurance claim.


Two guys were arrested after stopping to ask a cop for directions. They had just finished committing a crime when they stopped a policeman and asked for directions. The cop recognized them from a description just dispatched over the radio and arrested them.

A bank robbery failed when a teller couldn’t read a robber’s bad hand writing. The teller handed the note back and demanded he rewrite it. The robber did as instructed and during the rewrite the teller triggered the silent alarm, summoning police.

And Dumbest

According to one woman, her pet dog had just died and planned to bring the body to a vet. She packed it in a suitcase so as not to upset people during her trip. However, the suitcase was too heavy for her to carry. A passerby saw the woman was having a difficult time and offered to carry it. He asked what was inside that was so heavy. Since she didn’t want anyone knowing what was really in the suitcase she said they were computers. The man immediately took off thinking he had really made a big score.

A man who had just served 10 months in prison for bank robbery was arrested again…for robbing the same bank. And in another incident, a bank robber called a taxi to make his getaway.

Police arrested a man running down a street with a stolen cash register. The man had earlier gone into a restaurant and boisterously demanded change for a $10 bill. He didn’t get it, so he tore the register off of the counter and fled the store. Police caught him running from the establishment with the stolen property.

The owner of a motor home heard weird noises from outside. It was a thief trying to siphon gas from his vehicle. The thief got a mouthful of sewage for his efforts! He siphoned from the wrong tank.

A carjacker was captured after refusing to believe his victim's vehicle was out of gas. The car's owner had pulled into a closed service station because his gas tank was empty. The owner informed the thief the car was out of gas but was ordered to start it anyway. The car started but stalled a short distance down the street while the victim was on a phone calling the police.

When a robber's revolver failed to fire during a stickup, he stared down the barrel and pulled the trigger again. That time it worked.

Moments after robbing a bank, police found the perpetrator counting his ill gotten loot behind the bank. And another bank robber, not to be outdone, wrote his holdup note on the back of a police report of his last arrest.

Two men tried to rip off an ATM machine by hooking a chain from it to the bumper of their pickup truck. However, when they gunned the vehicle it pulled the bumper off the truck instead. They fled the scene, leaving the machine and their bumper… with license plate still attached.

A thirsty thief decided he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window and grab a case or two. He heaved it at the plexi glass window. It bounced back, hitting him on the head rendering him unconscious.

And finally, a man charged with auto theft appeared in court as ordered. He arrived in a stolen car.

More by this Author

  • The Great Depression, "Black Tuesday"

    On October 29th, thereafter known as "Black Tuesday," after nearly a decade of prosperity, the United States was catapulted into economic ruin.

  • The Littlest Marine

    Being short was never a big concern for me because I had never considered it as a disadvantage. I had always been husky and solidly built in my youth and able to handle any physical confrontations that arose.

  • Whatever Happened to CB Radio?

    CB's beccame popular during the 1970's. Partly because of the 1973 oil crisis and a nationwide 55 mph speed limit. CB’s were used to help truckers locate stations having fuel and avoiding speed traps

Comments 1 comment

Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 6 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California


    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article