Great and funny customer service quotes
The life of people working in customer service is not easy. They work hard and try to help everyone who calls them – no matter whether it is a real or a pretty ridiculous problem. In the following article, I have tried to collect some of the most funny customer service quotes ever born in history.
Please keep in mind, that ALL dialogues are real (from Hungary), none of them were just ‘made up’. May cause laughter!
C means Customer, while S represents Customer Service.
PROBLEMS WITH THE COMPUTER
Yes, having a computer can be nasty sometimes...
- S: What kind of OS do you have?
- C: I have no idea.
- S: What do you see when you turn the computer on?
- C: Nothing, it just starts.
- S: Can you please restart the computer to see?
- S: What did you see when the computer started up?
- C: Nothing yet, I still see the ‘Windows is shutting down…’ screen…
- C: I am unable to print.
- S: Then Click on the ‘Start’ button and…
- C: Fine, now listen mate, don’t start speaking to me in this special computer lingo, I’m not Bill Gates, damn!
- C: I am unable to connect to the internet!
- S: Are you sure you have entered the correct password?
- C: Yes, I saw my colleague while he entered it!
- S: Erm… what was the password he entered?
- C: Five stars!
- C: My keyboard is not working. Can you help me?
- S: Hopefully I can. Are you sure it is plugged in into the computer?
- C: No, I am not as I can’t see the back of the computer.
- S: Well, then pick up the keyboard and go 10 feet away from the PC.
- C: I am done, what now?
- S: Now we can be sure that your keyboard is NOT plugged in. Go back to your desk. Are you sure there are no more keyboards around you on the desk?
- C: Okay… ohh, there’s one! … Wow, and it is working!
- C: I wanted to write my first e-mail. But I have encountered a huge problem.
- S: Yes, what is your problem?
- C: I have found the letter ‘a’ on the keyboard, but I am unable to draw the little circle around it (@)…
PROBLEMS WITH THE TELEPHONE
Smartphone or not it is still hard to cope with!
- C: I would like to see the balance on my phone, and I am supposed to enter some kind of cross or what, that I cannot find on my phone.
- S: Yes, you have to push the hashmark sign that is on the bottom of your keyboard.
- C: Okay… but which one is that? The little snowflake or the ladder?
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- C: Good afternoon! I wanted to enter my PIN, but all I see are little stars!
- S: That is totally normal. As the PIN is supposed to be a secret code, no one else should see or know it, only you.
- C: But then how am I supposed to know what did I enter?
- S: What kind of mobile phone do you have?
- C: Black…
- C: I guess my phone is totally broken! It is unable to crawl onto the network for hours…
- S: Well, I guess you mean connect…
- S: Your new password that you should change once you have logged in is: lowercase ‘a’- like apple, uppercase ‘V’ - like van, ‘7’…
- C: Hold on! ‘7’ is lower or upper case?
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When even customer service gives up
- C: My phone is not working properly for a while now. It won’t ring when somebody tries to call me, no matter what I do. It’s a Samsung.
- S: It is probably because you have accidentally silenced you phone. Do you see a speaker icon crossed out somewhere on your screen?
- C: Yes, I do, but this is not my problem. As I have said…
- S: Believe me, this is your problem. Try pressing the power button a bit longer until you are able to turn the silence mode off…
- C: Nah, I have already done that, believe me, I know how to use MY phone. You sound like you didn’t understand my problem… Shall I explain it again?
- S: Ohh, no need, now I do understand your problem. Please press the power button longer than before.
- C: You mean now? While we are talking?
- S: Yes, please follow my instructions. Just push and hold the power button for while.
- C: Fine… I have started pr…
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© Copyright 2012-2014, Zsofia Koszegi-Nagy (zsobig)
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