Heart-breaking Confessions of an Assistant Manager

An assistant manager trains a new employee
An assistant manager trains a new employee | Source

An Assistant Manager Defined

IF . . .

Someone in the company gets blamed for low profits
Someone in the company takes verbal abuse
Someone in the company is called on first for working overtime
Someone in the company never gets that much credit
Someone in the company is never considered for promotion
Someone in the company is always doing something for the company

Then it's a safe guess that it has to be
THE ASSISTANT MANAGER

ONE DAY WHILE GROCERY SHOPPING

Have you ever witnessed this experience: You are strolling down an aisle in your favorite grocery store and then your world is rocked by the sound of a baritone voice yelling near-obscenities in such a rhythm, you think the voice is that of a hacked-off auctioneer.

Upon further snooping, you are shocked at what you discover. This angry bear-like man is chewing the hide off of a lesser man who is almost in tears and shaking with fear. You gasp in disbelief for you were raised in a soft-spoken, moderate-living household and then your moderate life continued as you married a soft-spoken, moderate man.

A female assistant manager of a grocery store is one of the hardest-working employees you will ever see
A female assistant manager of a grocery store is one of the hardest-working employees you will ever see | Source
This girl is happy for her being assistant manager has helped her employees score big numbers in the latest profit reports
This girl is happy for her being assistant manager has helped her employees score big numbers in the latest profit reports | Source
This girl instructs her new office manager on what she needs him to do
This girl instructs her new office manager on what she needs him to do | Source

YOUR EYES CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE

During your shopping task, you are still bothered by the scene you just witnessed, so you, in a discreet manner, ask a store employee what just happened. The employee, who is smart enough to look both ways as he tells you that the big guy is the store manager who despises mistakes made by his staff--especially those made by his assistant manager, the guy who was small in frame, taking the chewing.

Then you prop on your shopping cart and go into a daydream-like trance and during this disconnect from grocery shopping, you study about assistant managers in every job you can think of. And you wonder who takes up for them especially in situations like the one you just endured. And you also wonder if these forlorn men and women ever get a chance to "get things off of their chest?"

University of Tennessee head football coach, Butch Jones chews-out a coaching assistant

An assistant manager greets her customers with a beaming smile when they patronize her restaurant
An assistant manager greets her customers with a beaming smile when they patronize her restaurant | Source
The clerk, girl at PC, listens to her assistant manager tell her about the new client
The clerk, girl at PC, listens to her assistant manager tell her about the new client | Source
An assistant manager's job is not glamorous. This assistant manager is swamped with research work
An assistant manager's job is not glamorous. This assistant manager is swamped with research work | Source
Female assistant manager, back to camera, gives her staff a list of daily tasks
Female assistant manager, back to camera, gives her staff a list of daily tasks | Source
Assistant manager on phone is getting things done, but what is he doing with his shoes off
Assistant manager on phone is getting things done, but what is he doing with his shoes off | Source
  • "I hate it, but many is the night I have eat my share of fresh grapes."
  • "I wish my boss would open his car door and be attacked by a scared wolverine that was hiding in the front floorboard."
  • "My boss doesn't know it, but the last coffee I brought him, I put some Salt Peter in it. No wonder he was in such a pesky mood the next day."
  • "If it wasn't for me getting arrested, I would plant a few hundred bucks in the boss' desk that just happened to come from a cash register."
  • "I wish I had a way to pay "Lillie Dupree," our hot divorcee cashier, to get the boss in a few compromising positions and let me film him. Then I bet you he would treat me with some respect."
  • "I so wish my stuffing the commode in the men's restroom when the boss had to take a dump had worked."
  • "What if a rugged guy were to put the moves on the boss' decent-looking wife?"
  • "I hate it with a passion when the boss tells those stale stories of when he was in a frat in college and broke the campus record for riding a cow he and his friends had stolen."
  • "One day soon, I am going to disguise my voice and talk like my boss and call up a married woman and talk suggestively to her. I want him to take that for making me work overtime without pay."
  • "Wonder where I could buy myself a couple of Boa Constrictors and turn them loose in this store when I am working at night all alone?"
  • "I bet the boss would freak if he came into his office to see that someone had taken a black marker and made him into an ape in his family photo he keeps on his desk."
  • "I bet I could write him a letter from a fake hot lady who shops here all of the time, but I wouldn't use her name."
  • "Ahhh, I might call our corporate office from a pay phone and be a disgruntled customer who smelled liquor on the boss the one time I shopped here."
  • "Next time the windbag boss tries to chew me out, I will stand and grin at him."
  • "I got it! I am going to loosen the nuts on his office chair and when he sits his fat butt down he will hit the floor."
  • "A stray dog who eats from the dumpster has a better life than me."
  • "I hate the boss' stupid sideburns. I'd love to smear jelly in them and pour a jar of fireants on him."
  • "I wonder how hard the boss' head is and if he would faint if someone threw a can of Chef-Boy-Ar-Dee spaghetti and took him in the forehead?"

And so goes the sad confessions of an assistant manager. Do you see an upgraded "It's a Wonderful Life," in my future?

This assistant manager is fully-prepared to serve her customers with a positive look
This assistant manager is fully-prepared to serve her customers with a positive look | Source

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Comments 10 comments

CatherineGiordano profile image

CatherineGiordano 22 months ago from Orlando Florida

No one liked getting chewed out, and sometimes all we have in response are revenge fantasies. the more creative they are, the more satisfying they are. A good manager does not need to chew out employees.


Kathleen Kerswig 22 months ago

I have worked for managers and I have been one. I learned so much as a manager because I learned that I do not like to ask people to do things that I am not willing to do myself. And, I also learned that I got much further with my staff when I treated them with the dignity and respect that I wanted to receive myself. It worked out well on both ends. Thanks for sharing!


ologsinquito profile image

ologsinquito 22 months ago from USA

I am horrified at what people have to put up with at work. There is so much disorder right now, and this is part of it. Great article. Voted up and shared.


Dip Mtra profile image

Dip Mtra 22 months ago from World Citizen

interesting. Voted up. I guess these managers need to understand that instead of chewing, talking in a softer tone will get the job done more efficiently and faster.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dip Mtra,

Thank you for the nice remarks. I agree. Speaking softer and kinder will get more done instead of cursing and degrading.

Visit with me anytime and thanks again.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Catherine,

I couldn't agree more with you. Managers should NOT yell and chew-out employees.

I worked for a manager who loved to chew ME out in front of the office staff. He didn't do that to the other employees and let me be honest. That built -up a lot of resentment in me toward him.

Thanks for your friendship and follow.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Kathleen,

You are so right. You are very wise.

I too was a manager twice in my work life and I found out something else. When you ask or tell an employee, even in a nice way, three or more times to do a task and they just sit and talk. It is time to make a change.

Right?

Come back and visit again.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

ologsinquito ,

You are so right.

People in fast-food restaurants are out for themselves and that is it.

If you stand in the big chain department stores and listen, you will hear managers chewing out employees thinking no one is listening.

Yes, things have changed and not all for the good.

Come back anytime.


ologsinquito profile image

ologsinquito 22 months ago from USA

Hi Kenneth, I tried to send you some fan mail, but I don't think it worked. Anyway, thank you for your most kind words.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, ologsinquito,

Did you go to my profile page and look midway down and to the right where it says Fan Mail? Try that and I will look for your email. I am always glad to hear from my follower/friends per my note to you, I meant every word. I value ALL of my wonderful followers.

God bless you richly and thanks for this comment.

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