These Things Are What is On The Mind's of "Juan Valdez" and his Donkey, "Conchita," Right Now

Actor, Carlos Sanchez, "Juan Valdez," started advertising coffee on April 12, 1960
Actor, Carlos Sanchez, "Juan Valdez," started advertising coffee on April 12, 1960
Carlos Sanchez
Carlos Sanchez
"Juan Valdez" and "Conchita" greet people in the market place
"Juan Valdez" and "Conchita" greet people in the market place


This piece is not about coffee or the manufacturing and selling thereof, directly. This is a very long, overdue tribute to a true “champion,” of American advertising: “Juan Valdez” and his loyal partner, “Conchita,” who just happens to be a professional advertising mule. But you would have known that if you had seen one of their many ads on television in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s.

“Valdez,” is played by senior-actor, Carlos Sanchez, who “fit the bill,” for the ad agency who were looking for just the right man (and mule) to be the spokesperson and spokesmule for a huge coffee company and distribution group that was based in Colombia, South America.

I cannot name “the” name of the coffee because of guidelines set forth by HubPages editors, and for the wise reason that I did not want to make any of these employees angry and have to inform me that my piece was “overly-promotional.”

Working in the coffee fields
Working in the coffee fields


Truthfully, this hub is all about what thoughts “Juan Valdez,” and “Conchita,” his “celebrity mule,” are thinking right now. This very moment in time.

I did another hub similar to this recently about what thoughts were running through actor, Tom Hanks’ talented mind, but Hanks was obviously too busy to call or email me to say “thanks.” That’s cool. I just happen to catch him on Late Night with David Letterman and I know that Hanks wasn’t shunning me for when Letterman asked him, “So what has been happening with you lately, Tom?” Hanks replied, “Well, wow! I have not had one minute to myself. I’ve been super-busy with a lot of things going on in my life.” He didn’t have to say all of that for my benefit, but him doing this just shows you what a great guy Hanks really is.

So in it’s sheer-simplicity, this story is sincerely-named---

This is What is on The Minds of “Juan Valdez” and His Mule, “Conchita” Right Now

"Juan" appreciates "Conchita" very much
"Juan" appreciates "Conchita" very much

Just whom is this "Juan Valdez?"

Juan Valdez is a fictional character who has appeared in advertisements for the National Federation of Coffee Growers of Colombia since 1958, representing a Colombian coffee farmer. The adverts were designed by the Doyle Dane Bernbach ad agency, with the goal of distinguishing 100%-Colombian coffee from coffee blended with beans from other countries. He typically appears with his mule Conchita, carrying sacks of harvested coffee beans. He has become an icon for Colombia as well as coffee in general, and Juan Valdez's iconic appearance is frequently mimicked or parodied in television and other media.

Source: WikiPedia

The famous "Mr. Ed"
The famous "Mr. Ed"
"Ahhh, delicious coffee beans."
"Ahhh, delicious coffee beans."
Loaded, ready for the market
Loaded, ready for the market

NOTE: I did not put whom is thinking what thought. I gave you, my valued-followers, credit for figuring that out. Kenneth

  1. “Dear God, could you have made this mountain trail any steeper?”
  2. “Juan promised me a year ago, to allow me to have a 15-minute break after two hours of hauling coffee beans.”
  3. “I sure wish that “Juan” would learn to take a shower. And humans like him think that “I” smell.”
  4. “At least I do not have to worry about down-sizing for I know that “Juan,” is not able to do all of the work.”
  5. “Conchita is sure eating more in her old age. She is getting slower going up this mountain in Colombia.”
  6. “That was a close one at the press conference today—me, accidentally-speaking English instead of Spanish.”
  7. “I hate to deceive “Juan,” but if he knew that I could talk, he might get greedy and take me on the road.”
  8. “He makes me so angry at times. I wish he would try and ride me so I could have the pleasure of bucking him off.”
  9. “Did he forget, again, that lunch was a half-hour ago? My stomach is growling like an angry tiger.”
  10. “The nerve of those customs agents thinking I was hauling something besides coffee beans.”
  11. “Why did I agree to walk up and down this mountain in order to get this gig?”
  12. “Why in the world am I still drawing a peso more than minimum wage?”
  13. “That idiot tourist back there actually asking me to do the “Mexican Hat Dance!”
  14. “Sometimes I wonder if “Mr. Ed” started out this way?”
  15. “No---oooo boo—dddy kn---oooo—ws, the coffee I’ve seen.”
  16. “I just had to agree in our contract that I would never use a 4x4 or ATV.”
  17. “Has there ever been a coffee farmer and his pet mule ever went on strike?”
  18. “Why did my mother name me “Juan?” Why not “Larry,” or “Val?” That Ricky Ricardo got all the breaks.”
  19. “If “Juan” thinks it is easier going down-hill, he is much the fool.”
  20. “Hey, what happened to the new shoes I was promised?”
  21. “Wish he would hurry. I want to go to the World Cup this afternoon.”
  22. “I can be thankful that “Juan” didn’t decide to be a banana farmer.”
  23. “Wonder if I can get my brother, “Jack,” to fill-in for me tomorrow? I need some “mule time.”

Coming in the near future . . .”Reasons Why "I" Will Never Be a Guest on Letterman.”

A vintage moment with "Juan"

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Comments 10 comments

Nancy Hardin profile image

Nancy Hardin 2 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

Maybe Conchita would like to have given Juan a few kicks, do you think? But I have a lot of fun with your Hubs. You have to be one of the most fun, creative writers I've ever read. Keep on keeping on, my friend.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

My Dear Friend, Nancy,

Where I live in northwest Alabama, there is a huge storm front headed out way, so please forgive me for this short comment. Thank YOU so much for your sweet and caring comment. I am sincere. YOU, Nancy, are a rare woman to tell me this uplifting series of words. God bless you richly.

And I will keep on as soon as Yahoo Mail starts downloading OUR mail. They have been on and off since last night, Oct. 1. Talk to you soon and pray for me.

Nancy Hardin profile image

Nancy Hardin 2 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

Sending my prayers for your safety my friend. Find a hidey-hole, as my daughter in Oklahoma calls it, and crawl in until it's over.

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sheilamyers 2 years ago

Totally hilarious! All of the thoughts were funny, but I most enjoyed reading Conchita's thoughts. The best was the one about her wishing Juan would try to ride her so she could buck him off.

BarbaraCasey profile image

BarbaraCasey 2 years ago from St. Petersburg, Florida

My stepfather, who was in the coffee business for over 50 years, met "Juan Valdez" at numerous coffee conventions. He was a coffee icon for such a long time.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, BarbaraCasey,

Wow. I would like to meet your father sometime along with whomever is Juan Valdex today. What a great marketing strategy.

And thanks for your nice comment. Stay in touch with me.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author


Thank you for the sincere warning. We did find a hidey-hole, and thank God, the storms flew over.

Thanks for your care and comment.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sheilamyers,

I am very glad that you liked this hub and laughed too.

I was toying with the idea of doing a expose-type hub on "Conchita," and how show business was a huge lie and how she ended-up addicted to coffee; hitting the bottom of the mountain; things like this, but Folger's, no joke, might object or HP would.

Just give me some time.

Thanks, dear friend.

notsuperstitious1 profile image

notsuperstitious1 2 years ago from Canada

Enjoyed reading about the thoughts of Jaun & Conchita. Great Writing.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Oct. 25/12:20 a.m., cdst

Dear notsuperstitious,

Thank you sincerely for your nice comment. I have read some of your work and Wow! If I had your IQ and intellgence, I would be busy with nvoels and screenplays.

Thanks for the following and I pray that you are not disappointed with the decision you made. It would hurt me badly if something I wrote or something I said, was not up to your standards.

I mean it. You are such a talent. Keep up the fine work and write me when you can.

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