How NOT to get the best customer service over the phone

1. Make sure to be yelling at your children, pets or significant other when we come on the line to assist you and throughout the call. There is nothing more pleasant than to hear how you threaten your kid with a beat-down and then morph into the sweetest and most polite person to ever grace the sound waves. Please, sort out your household drama before dialing.

2. Ask for an explanation to a problem and demand a solution all while you interrupt us and not let us finish. You call customer service to get our help and not to bully us to not give it to you. Shut your trap and let us solve the problem. Okay?

3. Call us when you feel bored and lonely to tell us your problems which have nothing to do with the issue at hand. We are not paid enough to be counselors on personal matters. Call your friends but if they are fed up with you and your dilemmas, Delilah or Kim Iverson are there to help.

4. Threaten us with physical harm when you do not get your way on a situation that was clearly your fault. For the love of whatever… Just come and set this call center on fire so I can get a vacation from callers like you!

5. Make us change policy about how we service you right on the spot or else threaten us with litigation by spewing out what is supposedly illegal in our practices. Just hang up with us, the lowly cell center representatives, and serve the ones at the top with lawsuit papers who are very likely to be playing golf while we sit here and take your vindictive lashings. It is their fault we cannot give you the refund you want because they are too stingy to pay us enough to tolerate your crap.

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