How to Project Self-Confidence

How do they do it?


Some people just have it made. They are voted “most likely to succeed” in school. They receive job offers in their field right after graduation from college and climb the corporate ladder with ease. They marry the smartest, most attractive, most popular man or woman in town. They live in nice neighborhoods and send their children to the finest schools. They are respected members of the community. Others solicit their personal and professional advice. They are in charge of any situation—an unofficial leader that takes action when it is required. They enjoy life and live well.

These folks appear to be luckier than everyone else. How do they do it? How do some people seem to have it made from the very beginning? There is no simple answer to these questions, but the most successful people typically share at least one attribute: they radiate self-confidence. An aura of self assurance emanates from their every action. They exude a personal sense of worth and security. They are charismatic.

Your inner voice is likely shouting in protest, “That’s not fair! I’m a nice person! I’m likable! What can I do to get the same breaks?” Luckily, all is not lost for those who are a bit more reserved. We can teach ourselves to behave in a way others notice and respond to positively. We can learn to display self-confidence by focusing on specific behavioral characteristics. Let’s examine each of these behavioral keys and explore how they relate to an image of self-confidence.


Images of self-confidence

Self-confidence gives us the strength to do amazing things.
Self-confidence gives us the strength to do amazing things.
A casual yet confident look
A casual yet confident look
A poor choice in casual dress
A poor choice in casual dress
Don't stand like this...
Don't stand like this...
...but rather like this
...but rather like this
Words of inspiration
Words of inspiration
Allow your confidence to pump you up
Allow your confidence to pump you up

Keys to projecting self-confidence


1. Eye contact. Powerful people are not afraid to look into someone’s eyes. If someone looks into our eyes and we do not return their gaze, it is interpreted as a lack of confidence or even an acknowledgement of inferiority. There are people who exercise authority simply by staring at another individual until they look away. If we are uncomfortable with prolonged eye contact, we should not look down. Instead, we should make intermittent eye contact and gaze at the other person’s forehead the rest of the time.

2. Voice. The way we communicate says much about our self-confidence. We project poise if we speak in a deep voice which resonates from the chest with force and energy. The voice is an indicator of our emotional state, so tonal quality and the speed with which we speak must be considered. If our speaking voice is too high and fast, we are perceived to be nervous and insecure; speaking too slowly is viewed as indecisive. If we speak slightly slower than normal, it is said to indicate that we are intent on being heard.

3. Gestures. Powerful people usually keep their hands still and do not display nervous habits. Gestures that are deliberate and meaningful are used while speaking when emphasis is desired. Accomplished speakers typically practice and refine their use of hand gestures. Our gestures must always remain relaxed and natural; they should mirror the speed with which we’re speaking and never become flamboyant.

4. Posture. We reveal much about ourselves through our posture. When we’re sad, our head is down and our shoulders are slumped forward. Self-confident, charismatic people always exhibit good posture. The head is held high and the back is straight. Shoulders are pulled back and the chest is out. Good posture contributes to graceful movements that others equate with poise.

5. Walk. Self-assured individuals walk at a faster, more energetic pace than those with low self-esteem. When we walk in a slow, tired manner, we appear to be burdened with the weight of the world. It isn’t necessary to leave our friends behind in a sprint down the sidewalk, but a faster pace not only makes us seem more purposeful, it elevates our heart rate and increases the flow of blood to our brain and muscles. We are sharper and more attentive when we walk faster.

6. Smile. A simple smile makes us and everyone we interact with feel better. We radiate an inner peace and empathy that makes us instantaneously more likable and approachable. A smile informs all that the world is not getting us down. It affects the quality of our voice as well, making us sound friendlier and more alert. It is one of the simplest things we can do to exude self-confidence and one of the easiest, as well.

7. Personal space. Self-confident men and women command a larger personal space than others. Personal space translates into self-confidence in two ways: by respecting the personal space of others, and not flinching or moving away when others come close or touch us. If we calmly maintain our space when others have violated it, we will be perceived in a confident manner.

8. Personal habits. Are we dirty and dressed in sloppy or inappropriate clothes when we are in public? Do we need to comb our hair, brush our teeth, or shave? Do we hide behind sunglasses or countless layers of baggy clothing, as if trying to become invisible? It isn’t necessary to wear a suit or cocktail dress to the grocery store, but good grooming, attention to hygiene and dressing in an appropriate yet flattering way will demonstrate our self-respect. Do we smoke, drink or curse in public, allowing others to observe us in indulging our vices? Do we engage in excessive public displays of affection? Our actions also announce to the world how we view ourselves.


Final thoughts about self-confidence

 

Exuding self-confidence is a balancing act achieved by recognizing the distinction between assertiveness and aggressiveness.  It is the difference between a faith in our convictions and the need to always be right.  It is supporting others without deferring to them.  Assertive behavior is perceived as confidence; aggression is viewed as weakness.  This balance is maintained through accepting both our strengths and our weaknesses; and, of keeping success and failure in perspective.  It is avoiding highs that are too high and lows that are rock bottom.

A swagger comes naturally to those with self-confidence—less so for those seeking to appear confident.  This sounds obvious, but tools for projecting self-assurance and acquiring it are not identical.  Posture and eye contact are signs of poise, but they are only indicators.  Projecting confidence can help us develop it, but there are other factors, as well.  The inner peace of self-assuredness is realized through setting and achieving goals and supporting the aspirations of others.  It is derived from adherence to core values.  It is also achieved through treating others with courtesy.  Respect for others demonstrates a lack of fear and recognition that other people are not a threat to our hopes and ambitions.

Whether it is with a commitment to our values or the willingness to smile and stand tall when things aren’t going well, projecting self-confidence will ultimately transform us.  When this happens, it will transform our luck, as well.  It will allow us to make our luck.

And everyone will see it.

Self-help information from Amazon.com

Comments 95 comments

Ghost Whisper 77 profile image

Ghost Whisper 77 6 years ago from The U.S. Government protects Nazi War Criminals

Good hub Mike! You know...I have been on both sides and can immediately know who would be a great fit for the 'team' and who won't. (my job is about sales) A man or woman who is dressed nicely, yes! A man or woman who smiles, yes! Good posture is confidence mostly, yes! So it makes sense.

But...often people judge others by their looks and this may change their idea of the 'real' person sitting in front of them,ie; I am great at sales, have a confident walk about me,always smile, major eye contact person...but sometimes with me this backfires! Really it does! People see my walk as arrogant..not! My smile has been deemed flirtatious! NOT. Major eye contact has scared many job interviewers away from me *job threat I think..hehehe...

I say that all of your suggestions are perfect and to just be yourself and let yourself shine! The right employer will be the lucky one! ;)


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Ghost, thanks so much for your insights. You are correct, there is always the opportunity for misinterpretation of anything--even a small or a head held high. And, it is completely regrettable when confidence is intrepreted as something else. And, perhaps self-confidence actually does frighten prospective employers or even casual acquaintances--which is also a shame.

Hopefully, we can all find ourselves in a position where we are allowed to shine.

Thank you for your comments, your insights, and your support!!

Mike


WildIris 6 years ago

My son looks like your "poor choice in casual dress" candidate. And he wonders why coaches go ballistic on him when he shows up for baseball practice in flip-flops. You are right, there is a balancing act of recognizing the difference between the brash swagger of arrogance and the cool walk of self-confidence. This is a great hub I'm marking for future reference.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

WildIris, thanks for reading. I had to chuckle when you said my "poor choice in casual dress" picture reminded you of your son. I confess when I was young, my personal appearance sometimes left much to be desired, as well (long hair, mostly). I do believe maturity offers us perspective on how to carry ourselves in a manner that lets us shine while not offending others. The middle ground still isn't always easily reached.

Thanks for your comments, they are greatly appreciated.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago

Mike - Truly awesome hub. Very informative, excellent advice and very well written. I think you have pretty much covered all the bases.

Sage


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Sage, thanks for your coments. I appreciate the compliments.


hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

Excellent hub Mike, excellent hub. Well organized, full of good points but without useless words. Rated up, bookmarked, stumbled and when I'll write a hub on assertiveness I'll put a link on it. Very, very well done.


Wayne Tully profile image

Wayne Tully 6 years ago from United Kingdom

Brilliant hubpage about confidence Mike!.

I used to be an unconfident person, but now try not to be, it can be hard with a life time of put downs, but the ability to think positive and hopeful of what the future brings seems to bring new found confidence.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

hypnodude, thanks for reading and your support--stumbled, future linking, etc. is much appreciated. Your comment about the lack of extraneous words is especially gratifying--I do work hard at editing copy down to a manageable length. I thank you for noticing.

Take care!


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Wayne,

I know exactly what you are saying. Artists need self-confidence at least as much as anyone else because we put a lot of ourselves on display every time we create, and everything we put out there is essentially judged. So, confidence for visual artists is continually tested.

I am also more reserved by nature, but I'm working on it.

Thanks for reading.


mbwalz profile image

mbwalz 6 years ago from Maine

Great hub! And couldn't we all use a little (or a lot) of help in this department. I really loved #8 - personal habits.

My mother taught me this. So many people these days have an attitude about "I don't care what others think of me" and act/dress this way. This often communicates to others that "I don't care about you."

Oh, and I found turning 40 gave me a lot of self confidence. There's nothing like a few years and a little experience under your belt to help give you that aura of self confidence naturally!

There's truly a difference between being insecure (and caring too much about what people think about) and being secure and confident. How you appear can tell volumes.

I'm sorry so many young people don't get that kind of guidance before they leave the house.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

mbwalz, thanks for reading.

I always find the "I don't care what others think of me" attitude interesting. I often heard that from the young people that worked for me, and it indeed reflected in their dress and actions. I found myself responding to them that it looked like they did care--they wanted others to think less of them because they projected an attitude of indifference, defiance or even hostility. When told I was wrong, I said dressing more appropriately (especially for work) still allows them to not care what others think, but offers an opportunity for others to actually think well of them.

Sometimes they thought about that--most of the time they didn't....

You are correct, with age comes a confidence that originates from life's experiences.

Thanks so much for your comments, they are much appreciated.

Mike


ateenyi profile image

ateenyi 6 years ago from Chicago

Inspirational Hub!!!!!!!

Self Confidence will allow us to make our luck. To make eye contact, Walking in confident manner, Smiling etc. are some of the attribute displayed by self confident person. Thanks a lot for sharing so precious information. I await your future hub with great curiosity.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK

Thanks for a useful Hub - I need to work on my Posture. Walking? I must admit I walk confidently when I'm wearing high heels. lol.

This is a Hub I'd love to share with people.

Best Wishes.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

ateenyi, thanks for reading. Self-confident people are often viewed as having more luck, or even being blessed, but it is not a coincidence--they do indeed make their own luck.

Thanks for your comments, they are much appreciated.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Lady_E, thanks for reading. I need to work on my posture, also. Too much time hunched over a drawing table or bending over a computer keyboard has not been helpful!

By the way, feel free to share this hub with others, and thanks so much for your comments.

Mike


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

Terrific good hub, thank you!


IsabellaRothchild profile image

IsabellaRothchild 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

Thanks for the hub, great overview.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Paradise7, thanks for the compliment, it is much appreciated.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Isabella, I appreciate your reading. BTW, I just looked at some of your hubs and find them very interesting.

Thanks for your comments.


daisy storm 6 years ago

Good hub! I needed this reminder! Thanks Mike.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Daisy, thank you for reading. I appreciate your interest.


seasoning 6 years ago

wise words, we can all make improvement, for sure


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

seasoning, thatnks for reading. I know I still have plenty of room for improvement--especially my posture!


hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

10.000 hub views. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Extremely well deserved. :)


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

hypnodude, thanks for your comments. I find it staggering that 10,000 people would care what I have to say, but it is a nice honor and I thank you for noting it.

Have a good evening, my friend.

Mike


Dale Mazurek profile image

Dale Mazurek 6 years ago from Canada

A great hub, very well written. Your style is so easy to understand but still has so much valuable information.

Your hub is now also listed on my blog.

Great work

Dale


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Thanks for the kind words and the plug on your blog, Dale. It is greatly appreciated.

Mike


nadp profile image

nadp 6 years ago from WEST PALM BEACH, FLORIDA

I really enjoyed this and found it very interesting. The part about keeping your hands still really hit home. I know I have a problem with fidgeting with my hands or something I'm holding. You hub reminds me to work on that. Thanks.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

nadp, thanks for reading. My problem with my hands is slightly different than yours. I don't usually fidget with my hands, but I do sometimes use overly dramatic hand gestures when I speak. Sometimes this makes me appear angry when in fact I am not.

Thanks again, I appreciate your comments.

Mike


Paradigm_Online profile image

Paradigm_Online 6 years ago from Australia

Thanks Mike, that was a great read. I walk with a natural swagger (lol) but there are times and situations when I might find myself being less sure of myself than I would normally be. Thanks for the pointers. I'll use them in those aforementioned times and situations.

Cheers.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Paradigm, thanks for reading. My swagger is not natural, so I applaud your ability to "walk the walk" when self-confidence is required. I'm pleased you found something useful in my work.

Thanks again.

Mike


rml 6 years ago

Your article is very empowering and should be of great use to those who are a bit shy and introverted. You have a very well written article.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

rml, thanks for your comments, they are very gracious. It is any writer's hope that their words can be useful to someone.

Thanks again.

Mike


ramkkasturi profile image

ramkkasturi 6 years ago from India

Interesting and useful post. In today's competitive world selfconfidence is very essental.

Ramkkasturi


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

ramkkasturi, thanks for reading. Self-confidence is indeed an essential ingredient for success in today's ultra-competitive society.

Thanks again.

Mike


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

I absolutely 100% agree that self-confidence is vitally important in any situation, and in any endeavor for which the outcome is success. Though I'm not so sure I agree that self-confidence is necessarily an indicator that one is "living" better. I think of actors, politicians...

A lot of their confidence gets them in BIG trouble too. Speaking of confidence, how's about that Tiger Woods? ;)

Like anything in life, it's how you use it.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Springboard, you said it perfectly--self-confidence is vitally important in any endeavor for which the outcome is success. If we don't think we can do it, we won't.

You're correct, self-confidence can get folks in trouble, and Tiger is a good example. I'm not necessarily referring to him when I say this, but I wonder if the troube starts when self-confidence crosses that fine line and becomes arrogance?

Are these folks living better? I don't know... perhaps not. Sometimes it looks like they are, though. Perhaps that is a by-product of projecting self-confidence; you look like your life is better..........even if it isn't.

Thanks for your insights, they are greatly appreciated.

Mike


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

Hmmm. Now you make me think. :)

Perhaps arrogance IS something that looks like self-confidence, but is clearly not.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Springboard, glad you came back.

I've often considered the link between self-confidence and arrogance. Are they different characteristics that look the same on the surface, or is arrogance self-confidence, taken to the extreme? I do think that when self-confidence reaches the point we never doubt ourselves, then we set ourselves up for a fall. No one is always right, but there are lots of arrogant people out there that will take offense at being questioned or doubted--about anything. Their arrogance makes them lonely because no one can offer them help or advice, while self-confidence attracts people to them.

The relationship between the two is a good question, and I appreciate your insights.

Mike


Lamme profile image

Lamme 6 years ago

Great hub! It's not always easy to feel self-confident during trying times ... your hub reminds me that I need to work harder on the image I'm projecting to others. Thanks for a great article.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Lamme, thanks for reading. I need to work harder on what I project, as well--I still have bad posture, which makes me look unhappy or lacking self-confidence. I attribute this in part to leaning over a keyboard or drawing table, but I guess it doesn't matter why I have bad posture.

We'll all get there eventually. Thanks again for reading.

Mike


Just A Voice 6 years ago

Great hub Mike. Makes me want to work on my "self" portrait.

I have found self confidence to be a funny thing. When I was young, birth - 6th grade, we moved every 2 years. I became painfully shy for obvious reasons. When I hit 7th grade we finally settled into one place and by the time the summer between my 9th & 10th grade came, I decided I would change my appearance and attitude and become the confident person I wanted to be, and it worked.

But now I've found as I've gotten older, the reverse is happening. Now when I should be at my most confident, I find myself sliding back into that shy, ackward self. And once again I'm struggling to find my voice and confidence.

Damn! Back to square one.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Hi Voice, thanks for stopping by. Age has affected me somewhat also--instead of feeling more relaxed and comfortable with who I am, I've felt somewhat uncertain about who I am, what I'm doing, and why. Doesn't happen every day or all the time, but doubt creeps in..... At one point I assumed it was a mid-life crisis, but I dunno.

I doubt that you are back to square one, but I understand the challenge of remaining self-confident, especially if things aren't always going the way they should.

Good luck--to both of us.

Mike


revortay1 profile image

revortay1 6 years ago from PA

Great hub Mike! I know its quite old and I am a little late but I think that you make some great points and provide every one with some great tips. Its been proven time and time again that confidence opens doors no matter who you are.

Thanks again, revortay1


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Revortay, thanks for stopping by. No problem with commenting on an older hub, this one still gets a good number of readers, even if they don't leave comments. Confidence does indeed do wonders for us, and it often makes the difference between success and the alternative. We simply must be confident in what we do if we are to succeed.

Thanks again for reading and commenting.

Mike


Life Unplugged 6 years ago

Article is sure a self confidence booster !

Also I would like add to this great hub ,

Change the Way You Think of Yourself ("As a man thinketh, so is he.")

Abandon all your fear's,as it is the single greatest enemy of self-confidence,

Thanks for sharing !


Life Unplugged 6 years ago

Article is sure a self confidence booster !

Also I would like add to this great hub ,

Change the Way You Think of Yourself ("As a man thinketh, so is he.")

Also Fear is the greatest single enemy of self-confidence,

Thanks for sharing !


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Life Unplugged, thanks for stopping by. You're correct, our fears certainly affect our self-confidence, as does our perception of self. If we are fearful, it will show in everything we do.

Thanks for your comments and insights, they are much appreciated.

Mike


geegee77 profile image

geegee77 6 years ago from The Lone Star State!!

I really liked this hub..very good job:)


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

geegee, thanks for your comments, they are greatly appreciated. Take care.

Mike


Rebecca E. profile image

Rebecca E. 6 years ago from Canada

this is another awesome hub, and you and I probably both know several people who radiate that "self-confidence" but I must say excellent hub bookmarked for more reading.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Rebecca, thanks for reading. I know several people that radiate self-confidence. Sometimes it is interesting to see that they shake a little on the inside, even if they mask their fears well. Some people are just crucible steel, and there is never a crack in the armor.

I'm not there yet, although I would certainly like to be.

Thanks again for reading, I appreciate it greatly.

Mike


Stephanie J.B. profile image

Stephanie J.B. 6 years ago from FL

I really like this, very informative (and well written). I've realized that even if you don't feel confident, just standing up straight and making the gestures helps a lot.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Stephanie, thanks for stopping by. You are absolutely correct, an action as simple as standing up straight and making a few gestures can really make a difference. It isn't an all-or-nothing proposition--everything we do along the way helps and builds upon itself.

Thanks again for reading, I greatly appreciate it.

Mike


Angela 6 years ago

I've read about these behavioral keys before (except the one about personal space), but you managed to add some details to each that made this article superior to others I've read. (For example, if eye contact feels too intense, take a break by flicking your gaze to the person's forehead for a second to avoid looking down or away in what will appear as "defeat" or sign of inferiority.)

Thanks.


Daniel J. Neumann profile image

Daniel J. Neumann 6 years ago from Harrisburg, Pa

Nice hub, Mike. Now you just need to write a hub about not appearing as arrogant!

Cheers.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Angela, thanks for stopping by. I'm glad I could present this information in a manner that offered something new to you, and I am grateful for your positive comments. Thanks again for reading.

Mike


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Daniel, thanks for reading. I think the main difference between someone projecting self-confidence and someone who is arrogant is that the arrogant person never sees the need to doubt themselves--no matter what the circumstance, they are always right. A self-confident man or woman recognizes 1) that no one can be right all the time, and 2) that they lose if someone makes a valid statement or voices a logical opinion. Self-confidence isn't about beating someone--it can easily be a win-win scenario.

Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it greatly.

Mike


Underworld-Craft profile image

Underworld-Craft 6 years ago

Beautiful Hub! You sure do good and detailed research.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Underworld-Craft, thanks for reading. I appreciate your kind words.

Mike


LeanMan profile image

LeanMan 6 years ago from At the Gemba

Nice hub, self confidence really counts in every aspect of life.. I have learned that taking a self confident attitude makes a real difference as to how you are perceived and treated. Just don't appear too laid back and over confident!


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

LeanMan, thanks for reading. You're absolutely correct, appearing too confident is often perceived as arrogance, which never benefits anyone. A laid back overconfidence also can look like one is uncaring. How we project ourselves to others is always a bit of walking the proverbial tightrope, but when we get it right, we benefit tremendously. Thanks again and take care.

Mike


LasanthaW profile image

LasanthaW 6 years ago from Sri Lanka

Mike, this is a wonderful hub. Self confidence is so important to everybody to develop their future. You must not be afraid to project your strengths to others and even your qualities must be freely projected. Then, you'll be in a position to reinforce various ideas in your mind and encourage your development in a positive manner.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

LasanthaW, thanks for reading. I agree that if we project our best qualities in our interactions with others, it will support our personal development. Our growth will also gather momentum as we make gains. Thanks again for your comments.

Mike


Myron Matthews 6 years ago

Great hub Mike! Self confidence is probably one of the finest qualities a person can have. I wanted to say something about point 6. Smiling does make a person look confident and more likable and approachable, but I know from own experience that smiling too much can also fireback and make you look insecure.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Myron, thanks for stopping by and offering your insights. You're right, an ever-present smile can look phony and insincere. It is really helpful to have a natural smile. If you smile naturally, it will seem more inviting and less "plastic." Thanks so much for your comments, I appreciate them very much.

Mike


parrster profile image

parrster 6 years ago from Oz

Great read, simple but so true. I've just started a new business and this hub has reminded me of where I need to get back on track regarding my customer interactions. thank Mike


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

parrster, thanks so much for stopping by. I'm glad you found the information presented here helpful. Good luck in your new business!

Mike


Zenofsong profile image

Zenofsong 6 years ago

Everything in here is true, but I just can't imagine holding all this stuff in my head at once. When it comes down to it, confidence is a feeling and we need some way of really getting in touch with that feeling.

What I feel would make your hub go up to 100 would be talking about how one can either practice this safely. Most people suffering with anxiety cant just look someone in the eye. But, someone who is already feeling confident will find this natural.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Zenofsong, thanks for stopping by. I understand what you are saying, both about remembering these things and about practicing them safely. The beauty about recommendations of this type, however, is that there are partial victories. If one masters just one of these suggestions, they have made gains. And, since success tends to build upon itself, self-confidence can be improved through small gains.

I will consider your recommendation of talking about a safe haven for practicing. Thanks for the idea! Take care.

Mike


tdarby profile image

tdarby 6 years ago

Thanks for the info. It is good. I'm going to practice a few of these.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

tdarby, thanks for reading. I'm glad you found something of use in my article. Take care.

Mike


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

..why that's gosh darn easy - I come here to check out Mike's hubs .......


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Thanks, Epigramman! I hope it's that easy (lol)! I appreciate your stopping by and giving my work a read. Come back any time.

Mike


David Gottfried II 6 years ago

Hi Mike,

I enjoyed reading your article and I would consider it abundantly helpful advice, if it weren't for one teeny tiny obstacle in my case. You see, I was born without a torso. My arms and legs sort of just sprout from the underside of this hideous mass of flesh that my head sits on top of. Is there any plausible method in which you could transpose your infinite knowledge on how to disseminate pure, overwhelming confidence into a form that would be more achievable by a useless, unmotivated lump like myself? Pulling pussy is so very hard when I'm missing half of my structure. Thanks man, you're a trooper.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

David, thanks for stopping by. I don't know anything about you except what you have written here, but if I were to take a wild guess, I would simply say: don't worry too much about self-confidence. You've got self-confidence to spare.

For you to come to this venue and be able to describe your situation in such a matter-of-fact manner tells me you have everything you need inside. Your life might not be what you wish it to be, but you do not lack self-confidence. My guess is that you are projecting self-assurance in your every interaction with others.

I may not come up with the words to inspire you here in the comments field of this article, but I will say that you are a trooper, as well. You have inspired me.

I am more than willing to continue a dialogue if you wish it, here or through email. Thanks for your comments, my friend. Take care.

Mike


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Inspired to write 6 years ago from Wales UK

Wow great advice & a truly well laid out & written article. Thank you for sharing this. Dale


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Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Dale, thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you found my article interesting, and I appreciate the kind words. Take care.

Mike


ReSewn 6 years ago

Hey, Mike, I loved this article. Written beautifully, and very informative. As someone who has experienced anxiety in the past, I can offer a piece of advice when it comes to exuding self confidence (may be of help to zenofsong). If you think of yourself as a small piece of a whole, rather than a separate entity all together, confidence comes naturally. Imagine this, if you will. You, and others around you are merely cups of water that have been removed from one flowing river. Environmental factors have altered your make up, but ultimately, you are of the same source. When you bare this image in all social interactions, you will feel a connectedness to every person you encounter. This connectedness unites you with each of these people, which makes eye contact almost inevitable. You begin to speak with complete strangers as if they are a sibling. People are drawn to you, and they aren't even sure why. It has helped me wondorously! Again, wonderfully written :)


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Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

ReSewn, thanks for your comments and insights. Your analogy to cups of water is brilliant and quite appropriate. We all are alike in the end, and to a large degree circumstances have dictated many of our differences. We are truly connected, and to realize this should indeed inspire self-confidence. Thanks so much for adding your clear thinking to this article--it is greatly appreciated. Take care.

Mike


Danny 6 years ago

Wow. Powerful. Enough said.

Dan


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Nicky Bantham 6 years ago

A much needed and informative piece, Mike. Thank you!!Nicky


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Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Thanks, Dan. I appreciate your stopping by.

Mike


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Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Thank you, Nicky. I'm glad you found something helpful here. Have a great weekend.

Mike


onrea profile image

onrea 6 years ago from Rochester, NY

Good information on the small things that show self confidence. Often its the little things. Thanks for pointing them out.


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coolbreeze 6 years ago from Hawaii

Love your work. Your hub should be a class at college!


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Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Onrea, thanks for your comments. You are correct, the little things can make a big difference and it all adds up. Thanks again for reading.

Mike


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Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Coolbreeze, thank you for the extremely kind words. I am glad you found my article to be of value. Take care.

Mike


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TheToddMan 5 years ago from Wichita, KS

Mike, I love your writing but I also love to disagree with your viewpoints. In my opinion, everything you've described in this hub is "faking" self-confidence.

When it comes to self-confidence, "fake it 'til you make it" just doesn't work. Instead of projecting self-confidence, why not pursue clarity and once you've found it, eliminate those things from your life that don't align with who you really are?

Once you've done this, you'll have something far more valuable than self-confidence and that's self-assurance.


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Mike Lickteig 5 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

ToddMan, thanks for stopping by. I appreciate what you're saying, and in fact the point of this article was indeed to PROJECT self-confidence. I don't agree that this inherently means faking it, although I will concede that it could be interpreted that way. I also don't think projecting self-confidence has no value in attaining it. I very much believe that adopting a confident posture improves one's confidence, much the same way adopting a positive attitude can improve our mood. Trying to remain positive if you're feeling down isn't faking it--it's combating your negative feelings. Your perspective applies here also, however--change the things in your life that bring you down and your mood and attitude will improve. I would suggest that the pursuit of clarity can be a long journey, however, and self-confidence (or happiness) might not necessarily be waiting at its end.

Having said that, I don't believe your path to self-confidence and mine are mutually exclusive. They simply address the issue of lacking self-confidence from two different angles. There's no reason someone couldn't benefit from both your suggestions and mine, right?

Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate your insights a great deal. Take care.

Mike


Wayne 5 years ago

Excellent post Mike. You highlighted some great points that will help anyone exude strength and confidence. Now throw in a little humility and you're all set.


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Mike Lickteig 5 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

Wayne, thanks for your comments. Humility is necessary to keep self-confidence from becoming (or being perceived as) arrogance. So, as you say, hopefully some humility is in the equation, as well.

Mike


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HennieN 5 years ago from South Africa

Brilliant hub. I like practical and you can't get more practical as this!


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Mike Lickteig 5 years ago from Lawrence KS USA Author

HennieN, thanks for your kind words. I appreciate them a great deal. Stop by anytime!

Mike

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