Why I hate telephone and internet marketing
Why I hate telephone marketing and other things that we don't need in life
The phone rings. I pick up, only to hear a background rumble. I say “hello”. Nothing. Then on the other side “hello, hello”. So I say back “hello”. It must be the man from the moon again, at least it sounds like it. Suddenly the voice says: “Hello, Ma’am” (this is a dead give-away that he doesn’t even know my name). “Hello, Ma’am, how are you today”? “Great, thanks, and how are you”? “Great, thanks”. Now that all the pleasantries have been exchanged, a short interval follows. I ask, “Who is this”? “This is James from mumble mumble...” and the rest drowns in the background noise. I know that James is not really James or the man from the moon. I suspect that he is Rajeev from India who has been watching 200 episodes of “Friends” on TV to acquire an American slang but he still can’t hide his real origins. After all, which North American would call you Ma’am these days? “Ma’am, you have been selected to get 200 free minutes”. I think, great, I have to listen to this crap for 10 minutes to get 200 free minutes that I can’t use. “James, I’m not interested”. “But Ma’am, you have been selected to....”. “Thanks for your generous offer James, but I don’t have a cell phone”. James totally ignores me and tells me: “Ma’am, you’ve been selected to...”. A bit aggravated, I tell him once again that I am not interested because I DON’T have a cell phone. This results in me being selected to get a free cell phone. “But James, I am living in the Canadian boonies and I DON’T have cell phone reception here”. “What, no cell phone reception, where on earth do you live”?!!!! he exclaims in a now very arrogant Indian voice. Now, I take this as a personal insult and before Rajeev or James or the man from the moon selects me to get my own “free” cell phone tower I hang up. I’ve just wasted 10 minutes of my precious time to get 200 free minutes that I can’t even use....
Now, while I am doing some internet research for this hub (looking up popular Indian names), this ad pops up on my screen. “Congratulations, you are the 1’000’000 visitor and have just won...”. I guess this must be Rajeev’s Nigerian cousin. Dam it, haven’t I blocked these pop-ups? While I am trying to close the first ad another one pops up and whenever I close it a new one pops up. Each time I'm the 1'000''000 visitor and I have just won something. They seem to be multiplying and in the end I give up. I’ve just won a free trip to the Bahamas. Amazing! Must be my lucky day. Not only have I been selected to get 200 free minutes, a free cell phone, my own free cell phone tower but now also a free trip to the Bahamas. And all that within a matter of 20 minutes. I feel like I’m being stalked and quickly switch off my computer.
The phone rings again. Another Indian James with a fake Jennifer Aniston accent. He claims he’s phoning in connection with my credit card. At least this time he doesn’t call me Ma’am, which makes it more believable. “ Mrs. so and so, as you are a very good customer who always pays her credit card bill on time, we’ve decided that you will get an extra low interest rate of only 6% this month”. No reaction from my side. “Hello, Mrs. so and so, you will only have to pay 6% this month, isn’t this great”? Still no reaction. Either he thinks I have fainted or am weeping with joy. “Well, actually I couldn’t care less James, because we always pay our credit card bill in full each month. WE DON'T PAY ANY INTEREST”! “Yes, Ma’am, I know, that’s why you are such a good customer and we give you an very low interest rate of 6% this month”.... Now I am speechless. I hang up the phone and unplug it for good measure. Better safe than sorry, I can’t take any more freebies today.
And now my question of the day: "Are telephone marketing and internet stalking really effective"?
Has anybody ever bought anything from a total stranger with a weird accent who places random calls?
Has anybody actually ever claimed that free trip to the Bahamas and gone there?
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