Joe The Internet Millionaire Retires

Joe The Internet Millionaire Retires

HELLO, IT'S ME AGAIN.

My name is Joe The Internet Millionaire. I made a fortune by Working Online In My Spare Time. Hopefully you've heard of me by now.

I HAVE AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE

Please be ready for an important message from me.

PUT DOWN THE TV REMOTE

Turn off the TV. Mute your cell phone. Put the cat out.

THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT

What I have to tell you will change my life.

ARE YOU READY?

This is much more important than the nonsense spewed by Perry Marshall, The Rich Janitor, Big Clint, The Rich Jerk, Johnny Deeppockets, or Oprah Winfrey.

This is more important than anything you'll see on The View.

OK. HERE IT IS.

I am retiring.

LET ME TELL YOU WHY

I am retiring from the Getting Rich Online Business. I have made so much money while working from home in my spare time that I simply can't handle any more.

Want to bathe in money? Try my Extremely Simple Online Money Making System.
Want to bathe in money? Try my Extremely Simple Online Money Making System.

ARE YOU AMAZED?

This revelation should be shocking to you. I have conclusively proven that it is possible to have too much money.

The stuff is everywhere. I can't walk from the in-ground pool to the diamond-encrusted Jaguar without tripping over piles of cash.

I can't walk into the bank any more; they refuse to accept any more of my money. They have too much of it already.

I have more Internet Money that Kevin Trudeau, Matthew Lesko, The Rich Jerk, and the woman who owns Get-Rich-Online-In-One-Hour-A-Week.org.

I make more wealth in 5 minutes than all the TV infomercials ever broadcast in human history.

Last night while I was sleeping, a new Internet Money Making system came to me in a dream. I set it up this morning while I was brushing my teeth and by the time I was finished flossing I had earned another Huge Online Fortune With Almost No Effort.

WHO WILL TAKE OVER FOR ME?

You may be wondering; "Joe, who will operate your Getting Rich On The Internet Business?"

I pondered that question myself. Many of my retinue expressed interest in assuming the mantle of Internet Millionaire. I do have a retinue.

No members of my posse seemed right for the job. Too many times I found them raiding my refrigerator or swimming in my in-ground pool when they should have been Building Their Internet Wealth In Only A Few Hours A Day.

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY SUCCESSOR

Please make the acquaintance of the next generation of Internet Millionaire. After long and carful consideration, I have elected to pass on my vast knowledge of Making Money Online While Still In My Pajamas to a trusted member of my household. He's been with me almost from the beginning. He stood beside me when I was a young struggling Online Millionaire. He never questioned my methods, goals, plans, desires, ambitions, strategies, or choice of TV programs. He likes the same pizza toppings that I do.

DO NOT BE SURPRISED

My Online Internet Money Making business is so simple that a rodent can do it. I have researched and tuned my techniques to the point that running on a little wheel seems complicated by  comparison.

DON'T WORRY. I'LL STILL BE AROUND

I don't plan to vanish completely. I will continue to create Amazingly Simple Systems For Internet Wealth. I will slowly drift into the background and work on my reality TV show.

Thank you for your support.

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Comments 8 comments

Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV

Wow Joe,

You scared me at first when I thought you wouldn't be around anymore. It would be like the end of M*A*S*H* or Seinfeld on TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Tom Whitworth: Old Internet Millionaires never die...


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

Great. I might take your challenge up!


dabeaner profile image

dabeaner 6 years ago from Nibiru

You dirty rat. Don't you dare retire until you have Hubbed more so I can get from half a million to a whole million. By the way, you do realize that just a million is today just "chump change? A million is just to start. I eagerly await your advice on becoming an internet billionaire.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@dabeaner: It's nice to be wanted!


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 6 years ago

Glad you're not retiring, wish you were an internet millionaire.


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 6 years ago

I don't know what I'm doing wrong Joe. I've followed your system and still no bills of money coming out of any of the taps in my house. Please hold off your retirement or at least come out of it occasionally so we can keep learning how simple it is. Thank-you for all your advice so far. Really appreciate it you know!


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 6 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Perhaps you have found an equilibrium... I have retired three times and it does not work for me! Twice I lost everything due to "real estate." For me, I must stay engaged and "slay the dragons." I love challenges. I hope you do exactly what YOU want to do when YOU want to do it. Being "rich" is a state of mind!

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