Online Coaching & Mentoring - one on one

High Five - Online Coaching "Works"

Online Mentoring.... does it work?

My main passion for life is personal growth. Both for myself and for others. Here is a true story of a relationship I developed online that brought me to a new-found understanding that mentoring online, on a deep personal level, works.

I wont share the real name of the person I have grown to love and appreciate beyond words, but I will tell you that she has become like baby sister to me. So I will call her Sis in this story.

I met Sis one day when I was chatting to a friend overseas using Yahoo Chat. A knock came to my online door and "Sis" introduced herself to me. She had done a random search and found my name because I had something common to her in my Yahoo Profile.

We chatted often and shared many deep and "touchy" parts of ourselves. There were fears Sis revealed that she hungered to overcome. Also, I quickly found many talents in her character that were unused and unexplored.

When we first met, she was unemployed and scared to reach for her dreams. One of which was to see some of United States, as her mother was born and raised in the Eastern side of the US.

Sis was obviously highly intelligent and well educated.

Over time, I encouraged her to step more out of her comfort zone. First I knew she must find employment and due to some of her fears, it would be best if she had a job dealing face to face with public. Even though her education could have landed her a high paying executive assistant job, she needed more contact face to face and less with files, typing and administrative work.

She landed a job serving people in a very low paying job that, in a way, compares to a waitress in a greasy spoon diner. "Perfect I thought to myself."

Next I encouraged her to start researching what she would need to make a trip to the US possible. Maybe a work Visa, as she wanted to stay longer than she could afford. A 2 week vacation would never come close to fulfilling her dream.

She amazed me with her "growing enthusiasm" and it was evident quickly that she was becoming self confident. About this time we spoke on the phone a couple times.... me in Canada Sis in Europe.

She came across a wonderful opportunity as her hunger to explore grew and her fears of stepping out of her comfort zone diminished. She found (online) an advertisement for a live in counselor in a group home. The pay was next to Nil, but living expenses were included along with specialized training in a unique holistic method of working with the handicapped. This fit one of her passions of the heart. Although educated for executive assistant type positions, she had a passion to help others.

Not long after, she got the position, then borrowed the money from her parents for flights and BANG, she found herself in a California. A scared stranger in a strange land, but she was there!

We continued many chats and emails as she settled into her new home. Slowly she become less fearful and our chats decreased, but when we did chat - I was no longer "just her mentor." Now she was sharing great stories of exploring and meeting new people and doing new things. She even took drivers training and received her license.


Her year ended all too soon, but there was an extra treat in it for me.... my Sis made a stop to see me in Canada before she went back to Europe.

She has grown from a scared little girl to a beautiful young lady. Recently she found a man and they married. I now have a Brother In-law...LOL

All this happened in just over three to four years.

Personal Growth and mentoring is a very rewarding and deeply personal thing. I am blessed to have many in my life who have come to me offline and my mentoring has made a difference.

Young men I have mentored, coached and "partied with as one of the boys," (even though I am the age of their parents) have got married and found great careers. Their girlfriends/wives have shared with me how much I have meant to them. It is a great feeling.

Offline this type of experience is common, yet my experience with Sis proves to me that online can bring the same rewards.

Online mentoring works.

Neil Sperling




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Comments 59 comments

ms kim profile image

ms kim 8 years ago from IL

Thank you for sharing this. How lucky for you that you could help someone out like that. Sometimes I watch the news and it seems as if we aren't moving forward but slipping back. What you've done is prove that with a little bit of kindness and compassion we can move forward You truely are blessed


One Aussie 8 years ago

Neil, this is just the typical 'you' I grew to love dearly, and while a beautiful story it's not at all surprising to me. I remember a certain 'young' man in his forties who was still searching for his right path also, and it's evident he's found it. The old saying 'good things come to those who wait' is Ok and the right thing to do sometimes, but most other times you have to make things happen or the world passes you by while you're waiting. It takes courage and strength to break our comfortable patterns and we all need a helping hand and guidance now and then while always reading the 'Signs Along the Way'. It's nearly birthday time again - keep safe. :)


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 8 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Thanks Ms Kim. Yes I am blessed. Hope.... is the answer. Where there is hope there is energy and love to make the changes needed in this world. Inspire hope, and you have made a difference far greater than you can imagine! Love light and laughter to you and yours!


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 8 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

One Aussie - where would I be without you? Thank you for being a huge part of my life. My love for you "Just is." Thanks for being there..... and I will always be here for you too!


Jen Maxwell 8 years ago

What a great experience this was for both of you. I feel that by helping others I learn a lot about myself and that is always valuable.What an asset you are Neil.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 8 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Thanks Jen - see you on Adlandpro!


monitor profile image

monitor 8 years ago from The world.

Offering oneself as a mentor comes with large emotional risk. Risk to the mentee and probably even greater risk to the mentor. You and Sis both overcame. One huge victory for mankind. Thank you for being there.

I am your fan and trust I will be able to read more from you.

Mon.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 8 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Thank You Monotor - Yes it is a risk..... however as helen keller said "life is a daring adventure... or it is nothing"


Matt Maresca profile image

Matt Maresca 8 years ago from New Jersey

Neil, I have been strongly considering offering mentoring in my weight loss field for some time now. I, too, am a big fan of personal growth and work daily on my biggest client--myself. After reading this, I am going to start working on it right away. Thanks.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 8 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Matt - I'm cheering you on!


Decrescendo profile image

Decrescendo 8 years ago

Interesting tip. Do you have any new updates coming?


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 8 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Decrescendo - LOL - give me time - I've only been here 5 days..... yes there will be more hubs on this topic.....


BeatsMe profile image

BeatsMe 8 years ago

Wished i knew someone like you when i was younger. Could've avoided a lot of mistakes.


tristaprez profile image

tristaprez 8 years ago from Portland OR

An article that is dear to my heart. I am going through personal coaching right now and am surprising myself daily at the strength that has been dormant in me (well, not dormant, but certainly underutilized when it comes to making things happen for ME.)


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 8 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Trista - thanks for dropping in - feel free to pm me any time.... never an end to learnging - only new beginnings.... Love Light and Laughter

Neil


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 7 years ago from Canada

Neil,

I am very familiar with life coaching and mentoring. Great hub and a wonderful story that you shared. I believe that, as a person, one should always strive to better oneself through self growth. Life is dynamic, and as a part of nature, we are bound to respond to changes in our lives, surroundings and environment.


bgamall profile image

bgamall 7 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

I don't have problems with being a person you come to for advice. I think people should have more than one that they can go to for advice. Mentoring implies that one is a student of life and one is a teacher of life. I am not really sure that anyone is qualified to be a teacher of life.Life is much too complicated for that.


Lady Rogue profile image

Lady Rogue 7 years ago from Cleveland Heights, Ohio

How fortunate the people you interact with are. Thank you for sharing your experience!


prettysmartjean08 profile image

prettysmartjean08 7 years ago

Oh yes! There are lots of things that can possibly happen online.  Apart from coaching and mentoring, frequent communication and exchange of correspondences may even develop certain types of relationships online. A stranger online may eventually be your friend, coach, consultant, your date, partner or spouse....LOL! Anyway, you've done a good job to a person who at that time needs uplifting and guidance. She was lucky to have found a real friend like you online. Keep it up! Interesting story, Neil :-)


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

Thanks for sharing this story. It is always uplifting to know of people helping others for no other reason than the reward of helping! Seems as if you and she did a great job together. :D


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 7 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida

Very inspiring story, Neil. Though I have no professional training in coaching, I too enjoy mentoring others, as I have appreciated being mentored and encouraged over the years -- Paying it forward, as they say today. I agree that it is very rewarding and deeply enriching to one's own life to see others succeed.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 7 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Beth100 - Life is dynamic, and as a part of nature, we are bound to respond to changes in our lives -- wow so true! Thanks for sharing

bgamall - having many mentors as we pass through life is the best advise I ever received. Wisdom shared is wisdom gained then multiplied. Thanks for the comment.

Lady Rogue - Thanks my fan - actually I feel blessed for having others in my life - both those who mentor me as well as those I mentor - again - wisdom shared is wisdom gained then multiplied.

prettysmartjean08 - I see by your comment you live up to your name - Pretty Smart! - Thanks for commenting.

k@ri - you are so correct - we did a great job "together"

Connie - Paying it forward is a great way to live - thanks for paying it forward and commenting.

Sorry I missed commenting on this hubs comments - for some reason I do not think I got any notice of comments. LOL probably too busy to notice.

Love - Light - Laughter

Neil


Army Infantry Mom profile image

Army Infantry Mom 7 years ago

Awe,..What a wonderful story. It amazes me how one stranger online can make a world of difference to someone. When my son first deployed to Afghanistan, I posted a comment on myspace that I was going to fall apart, within the hour I had a wonderful lady named Candi, who reached out to me. She talked to me online for hours, telling me to stay strong, come to find out her son was killed in Action in Iraq and her other son was deployed to the same area her first was killed in. I was amazed how she reached out to me,..when people should have been reaching out to her. Her son will be home soon God willing and she taught me the real definition of endurance and strength. She is a online friend I will have forever.


The Rope profile image

The Rope 7 years ago from SE US

what a very special man you must be. i am privilaged to be able to read your hubs and now i feel even more honored that you joined my fan club.


wendi_w profile image

wendi_w 7 years ago from Midwest

Great Hub .. I am very curious about life coaching and mentoring myself.But have never seen a real story about it


izettl profile image

izettl 7 years ago from The Great Northwest

INSPIRING!


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 7 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Army Infantry Mom - Cool to hear another story of onlline connections and personal growth. Thanks for sharing!

TheRope - likewise my friend - I truly appreciate your comments.

wendi_w - I hope you get to participate in one - sounds like you can coach your own way to. Reach out and touch someone... you touched me just by taking time to comment!

izettl - Why thank you my friend! Thanks for taking time to comment and let me know you were here. You Are Appreciated!


Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah Demander 6 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

What a great example of how online mentoring can work. It gives me hope. Thanks for sharing this story, and for changing the world, one life at a time.

Namaste.


Diane Inside profile image

Diane Inside 6 years ago

I always had this misconception that those seeking to be mentors were full of themselves. Not that I have had much experience with them. But your story of your sis, seemed more of a friendship that was one of support not I know more than you kind of thing. It was heartwarming to read. I am happy to be following you and look forward to more of your writings.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Deborah - I am so glad you dropped by. A deep and caring person you are - I appreciate your uplifting comment.

Diane - True mentors are not giving the other advise for their own glory. True mentors really do care for the ones they mentor.... goes beyond friendship! To be a mentor - one has to have an eager student.... and in most cases the mentor learns as much as the student through the experience. I appreciate your comment.


zduckman profile image

zduckman 5 years ago

Great hub. I love to be of service, and am studying psychology for this reason. I am fascinated about the potential of coaching.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

zduck - cool - thanks for the comment and may you lead/coach/mentor from the beauty within


LanaLu profile image

LanaLu 5 years ago from New York

This is an amazing Hub, Great job and I love your positive outlook in life and being a counselor I have to agree with you there is no better feeling than knowing you helped someone.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

LanaLu - Thanks so much for your positive comment. So true - it is a good feeling to know you can make a difference.


Derdriu 5 years ago

Neil Sperling: The online world offers opportunities in the midst of pitfalls. It is reassuring to learn that mentoring, which makes such a difference in the offline world, works on the Internet as well.

Thank you for sharing, voted up, etc.,

Derdriu


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

derdriu - yip - both online and offline coaching / mentoring can make a difference.

Thanks


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

I believe in on-line coaching and have witnessed the powerful benefits of this. I mentor many young people in the music business where encouragement and support is crucial to "believing in themselves".

Growth and development can be a win- win for both student (client) and the mentor (teacher).

I like your style and voted UP!

vocalcoach~


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

vocal coach - very cool you dropped in! I very much appreciate your comment and support.... now if I could only sing with you .... or at least sing better LOL Thanks :-)


jesusmyjoy profile image

jesusmyjoy 5 years ago from Bucyrus Ohio

great post


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

jesusmyjoy - glad you enjoyed it


debra green 4 years ago

Thanks for the story..i was slow getting to it..I can really appreciate it as you have also helped me with your insight, guidance, and freindship...something i will always be grateful for is the time we have spent walking side by side down life's path, and the growth and clarity that it has given me.With love in my heart i Thank You !


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Debra - the pleasure is mine.... warms my heart that someone who is in my heart can say I made a difference in their life. THANK YOU!


Dale Hyde profile image

Dale Hyde 4 years ago from Tropical Paradise on Planet X

Great hub Neil, and most true! I have online mentored quite a few individuals about spirituality over the years and it has been very effective. Online is a wonderful tool for us to use to help others grow in various areas of their lives as well as receive the same in return most of the time! Voted up, useful and interesting.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Dale - glad you dropped by. Yes - Teaching, coaching and sharing over the web works... see my hub on the power of duplication you will see how using the web is even more powerful if you keep duplication in mind. Thanks for taking time to comment!


Dale Hyde profile image

Dale Hyde 4 years ago from Tropical Paradise on Planet X

I will check it out, Neil! Thanks. :)


That Grrl profile image

That Grrl 4 years ago from Barrie, Ontario, Canada

In the end, I think all we really have is the good we did in the world, the times we made/ left something better than we found it.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

That Girl - So true - make the world just a wee bit better than we found it... and collectively imagine the result! thanks for the comment my friend.


Suelynn profile image

Suelynn 4 years ago from Manitoba, Canada

I love this story, Neil. How kind of you to help someone along. Sis is lucky to have you as a friend and mentor. I arrived in America in 2000 and have recently accepted a job in Manitoba, failing to find one in the States. It may take around three months to get paperwork cleared. I have never been to Canada. I will be moving from the extreme heat of Texas to the cold climes of the great white way. I have no experience of ice and snow! If you have any words of advice, I am all ears. :)


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Welcome to Canada - Winnipeg is about 205 hours from Toronto (I'm about 1.5 hours from Toronto)... in fact it takes about the same time for me to drive to Texas as Winterpeg... yes I said WINTERpeg as that is one of the coldest places in Canada. Advice -- get warm winter cloths and save all you can so you can take a Jamaican holiday every January.. LOL

Dress warm - a ski jacket and ski overalls are an absolute plus.... and remember - the summers here are amazing... LONG LONG sunny days. you will love summer. If you end up in Ontario - make sure you look me up, I'll give you a warm hug!


Suelynn profile image

Suelynn 4 years ago from Manitoba, Canada

Neil Sperling, you are one sterling individual! :)

205 Hours from Toronto to Winnipeg??? It boggles my mind to think that the drive from Toronto to Texas would equal that from Toronto to Winnipeg!

I will indeed be purchasing warm winter gear when I reach Canada... the very thought of it has turned up my internal thermostat about ten degrees, sitting here in sultry South Texas! I have never owned ski overalls or jacket, although I did get on a pair of skis on a dry ski run in Johannesburg many years ago! You make summer sound like a lover's playground! I so enjoyed your description. :) If I do ever meet you in Ontario, I will certainly look you up and give you a very warm hug right back!


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Suelynn OMG -- LOL -- I missed the period -- that should read 20.5 or 20 and 1/2 hours .... Thanks for the second vist ..... I'm hugging you now!


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota

You are such an inspiration Neil and what a win win for both you and sis to meet. It is amazing some of the relationships you can build on the internet. I am so glad you two met and she is doing so well now that she's moved forward and let go of the fears.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

minnetonka twin - Thanks for the cool comment. Yes the internet is a way to bridge the distance between friends and make new friends - plus coach and develop personal growth. All good!

Love - Light - Laughter

Neil


zduckman profile image

zduckman 4 years ago

Voted up and Awesome !!! Great hub...Thanks


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

zduckman - thank you for the comment and the vote - mucho appreciated


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

This type of story always reminds me of the time of New World exploration. They would leave their families for years and yet stay in touch through mail. We can do so much better with the internet.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Ericdierker - so true -- the web has brought us closer and shortened time...... thanks for the comment my friend.


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Pardon my thoughtlessness. I did not mention how wonderful mentoring is for all involved. Prisons, schools, industry, sports, vocation and avocation are all enriched by those individuals who give back, not for self but in selflessness.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada Author

Eric - no worries mate.... glad you returned and thanks again for another great comment. Cheers

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