Practicing Uncommon Appreciation to Enhance Relationship Building

Practice Uncommon Appreciation!

Appreciation: Worth More Than Gold!

Building relationships in both our personal and business lives is a key factor in determining our overall success in both realms. It is extremely easy to allow ourselves to get caught up in the day to day details both at home and work often leading to forgetting the most important details of all, those people who are truly important to us.

Recently, I read an article by Jack Canfield in the October, 2008 issue of Success From Home magazine entitled "Practice Uncommon Appreciation" where he describes why mastering the art of appreciation is a major factor in determining our success with others. Canfield's piece definitely struck a chord helping me gain a better understanding of how different people react to the manner in which appreciation is expressed.

Learning the nuances of appreciation and properly applying those details helps us succeed at both enhancing personal relationships as well as succeeding at attraction and relationship marketing.

Are we really that different?

People Really Appreciate Differently?

Amazingly, people do indeed respond in different ways depending on how an expression of appreciation is provided. Canfield differentiates the three sub-types of appreciation as auditory (we hear it), visual (we see it) and kinesthetic (we feel it). Our brain uses these three vehicles to take in and process information. Everybody tends to prefer one type of appreciation over the others. Each type of appreciation has a different "tool" we can use to convey our feelings including:

  • Auditory - In day to day personal contact, this is usually the simplest where a person is either directly told or verbally acknowledged during gathering how much they are appreciated. Now with the world of audio and video Internet media, auditory appreciation is now extended to the virtual world as well.
  • Visual - Expressed by giving gifts, cards, plaques, notes, flowers, candy, and the list goes on and on.
  • Kinesthetic (touchy-feely) forms of appreciation can be a simple hand shake or pat on the back (especially in the professional world) or hugs, kisses, dances, massages on the personal side (where appropriate of course!).

I know in the case of my wife, cards, flowers and whispers are nice but the reaction received through a simple touch or taking a moment to dance a bit to a song on the radio is far greater. On the other hand, a friend and work associate really perks up when they are acknowledge or praised during a conversation.

Employee - Supervisor Perspectives

Another interesting fact made by Jack Canfield in his article pertains to the motivation differences between employees and supervisors summarizing the major findings from management consulting firms. After perusing the table below, I believe you will clearly note the divergent viewpoints of each group:

Motivational Difference of Employees and Supervisors*


  1. Being Appreciated
  2. Being in the Loop
  3. Being Understood
  4. Secure Job
  5. Adequate Pay
  6. Interest in Job Tasks
  7. Possibility of Promotion
  8. Loyal Support of Management
  9. Comfortable Working Conditions
  10. Proper Discipline


1. Adequate Pay

2. Secure Job

3. Possibility of Promotion

4. Comfortable Working Conditions

5. Interest in Job Tasks

6. Loyal Support of Management

7. Proper Discipline

8. Being Appreciated

9. Being Understood

10. Being in the Loop

Derived from: "10 Ways To Really Motivate Employees" in the Canfield article.

Do you really believe prospects and customers are any different?

So take note of the reactions of your family, friends and even business associates to identify their particular appreciation preference. Mastering this art will definitely not only help raise your personal relationships but also raise your attraction and relationship marketing game plan as well. In either case, greater success will be yours in the end!

Who is Jim Hickey?

Jim was formerly an "old school" network marketer now helping home and small business owners to utilize attraction marketing and relationship building methods to grow their Internet presence. You can access additional information resources and tips to propel the growth of your business by visiting Jim's blog.

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Comments 7 comments

Eric L Walker profile image

Eric L Walker 7 years ago from Kalamazoo, MI

Hi Jim,

Smart article - not something that gets talks about very often. You what would be interesting is to take a survey, or study this "uncommon appreciation" as it pertains to the internet network marketing business. So many people get tied up and are trying to accomplish their goals, yet social networking remains THE best tool for business building. Even small tokens of appreciation like leaving thoughtful comments, etc. A little goes a long way. Nice work here.

-Eric Walker

cindyschulson profile image

cindyschulson 7 years ago from San Diego, CA

Great hub Jim. You've give us all real food for thought. I think all too often we let our appreciation go unexpressed. We're all so busy that we don't take the time to tell someone or show someone how much we appreciate them. In the world of attraction marketing, expressing your appreciation is especially important because we're all just floating around in cyberspace. When we take a minute to leave a comment, send an email, send a card, or pick up the phone, then the connections become more tangible, and we're building a real and lasting relationship.

Many thanks,


Jim Hickey profile image

Jim Hickey 7 years ago from Maryville, Missouri Author

Hello Eric and Cindy,

This is something we sometimes take for granted, both in our personal and professional lives, and one area that we never should.

I'll have to keep stopping by and re-reading this just to help keep me on track!

Thanks again for stopping and adding your insight,


The Rat RaceRebel profile image

The Rat RaceRebel 7 years ago from Up-North, MI

Jim, I always learn something from your articles and videos. You have a way of finding "golden nugets" others gloss over.

This is just for you Jim!


Jim Hickey profile image

Jim Hickey 7 years ago from Maryville, Missouri Author

Hiyas Shelly ....

Thanks as always for your friendship, support and advice; they are all highly appreciated :)

I really, really, really .... loved the comment bubble :) (gotta figure out how to do that)!

Richard Goutal 7 years ago

I recently received an email from a man who was a student in my very first high school teaching assignment in 1967-68. I had not heard from him since I left that small city after that first year and moved to another state. In the email (he found me through Google) he mentioned how much he appreciated having me as a teacher, going on to say, "you have no idea how much joy you brought to my otherwise joyless life." I was, and still am stunned. It was powerful! I thought about this for days.

Jim Hickey profile image

Jim Hickey 7 years ago from Maryville, Missouri Author

Hello Richard,

Thanks for visiting and commenting!

Great example of how a sign of appreciation carries so much weight and the impact it can have. It also shows how important good teachers are and the fact their (or in this case your) actions leave lasting impressions on student's lives.

Thanks as well for sharing and helping shape the lives of young people.

Best always,

Jim Hickey

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