Promotion vs. Privacy: A Personal and Professional Predicament

There is room for both . . . And understanding for each . . .

Recently I witnessed, but did not participate in, a rather lively debate regarding our identities and profiles as posted on the Internet and to Hub Pages in particular. I would have jumped into the fray with both feet (and my own strong opinions) but was out of town (playing disco ball in LV) and off the computer for a much needed holiday/rest. (1) By the time I returned the simple (distorted) misunderstandings were so deep I didn't want to so much as dip a toe in the muck and mire!

Quality counts . . .

I am an author who carefully weighs the risks between promotion and privacy. I have to. I am a transparent person by nature. Painfully so. I, too have Asperger, a form of Autism (2). One of the ways it manifests in me is that my brain does not compute nor recognize deceit. Deception is foreign to me. It is illogical. A glaring shortcoming is taking all people, even those I only know through the Internet, at face value. (I'm getting better but have a long way to go; I have wonderful friends who act as my safeguards!)

It never crossed my mind that some Bloggers/Hubbers may not be the sex, the age, or even the person they represent in their photos. It never crossed my mind that the beautiful profile photos might not be of the very author who wrote the Blog/Hub. (I guess I don't get out much!) Truthfully though, it doesn't matter to me.

What DOES matter to me is the QUALITY of their Blogs/Hubs, their fairness of heart, their positive participation and contribution to the Internet and HubPages community, their unique viewpoints, their graciousness when confronted with opposition, the genuineness of their message, their ability to put themselves in someone else's shoes, their independent thinking, the depth of their introspection, their ability to appreciate the minute details and the bigger picture, the motivation behind their efforts, their intent and their integrity.

These are qualities that cannot be faked nor hidden; to me, the importance of photos and profiles pale in comparison.

Valid reasons to protect privacy . . .

There are many VALID reasons why an author might choose a business name, nickname, moniker and/or avatar that preserves a bit of their privacy. Previous identity theft. Spousal abuse. Child protection. Branding. Cultural stereotypes. Conscientious objector to unjust war. Ex- lovers. Current bosses. Noisy neighbors. (3) Pole dancer with an IQ of 188. FBI informant. Secret shopper.

I think a bit of anonymity allows us to share our souls in ways otherwise too risky for some. I would give the keys to my home, both Mercedes and safe deposit box without hesitation to Robin, James and Paul Edmondson. But not to the 90 year old woman down the street who lives on the Internet with violent dementia and loaded guns who wishes me dead because she thinks I am sleeping with her husband who died 40 years ago. (4) We need to always remember that what we put on the Internet is available to those who love us and those who hate us equally.

Stalking . . .

My reason for using Earth Angel and my delicious logo (5): I was stalked. Violently. For three years I could not be alone. Not even to sleep. I took a shower in a room without windows. I traded cars with numerous friends so I wouldn‘t be followed, wore wigs, borrowed clothing, canceled all credit cards (that's how he first tracked me), put all my funds in my mother's name, paid cash for everything, changed my phone number weekly, moved my home four times and stayed with friends almost every other night. My best friend put all my utilities in his name, I never drove the same way twice, and relied on a long list of loved ones to provide underground safety for me. And a way to support myself. I finally had to move 3,000 miles away and even that was not enough. Five more years involved police protection. It's been a number of years hence and I still look over my shoulder to this day.

Internet and private records . . .

If you have never been abused, or seriously threatened, or stalked, or had your identity stolen, or had your children held hostage either emotionally or physically, count yourself as fortunate. As a Life Skills Coach for the middle and upper class, I rarely meet a single person/woman unscathed.

Our US freedom of speech and access (which I reverently protect and honor) allows anyone, good or bad, to access our credit report, social security number, tax return(s), drivers license, physical address, voting record(s) and professional license(s). Even utility bills are public record and THE ONLY absolute proof of residency (6) in case of Flood-Fire-Earthquake-Evacuation when it is time/safe to return. (Not even a current drivers license is considered proof of residency!) Google Earth makes it even easier to track someone. Have you ever Google'd your own phone number?? Or name?? Or address?? (7)

In the US one in four women will suffer abuse of some kind in their lives . . . usually at the hands of a loved one. This is unheard of in other developed countries. Of those, 50% will have their lives threatened and/or be raped at least once. (Getting worse . . . ) Usually many times. Two in ten will end up dead. (In my case, two dead, two more attempted.) With their families often too frightened for their own lives/safety to prosecute! (8)

Nom de plumes . . .

All of the authors Earth Angel Publishing represents have also been counseled in the risks of using their own names and photographs. They are given at least a month to research my precautions before signing on the dotted line with their decision. All of the authors I represent (except myself) have chosen to use nom de plumes instead of their real names. (11) An author can always change their mind later if they want to use their real name. But there are too many successful writers, like the novelist John Grisham, who wishes every day he had NOT used his real name. (12)

Unfortunately, the United States (and maybe all democratic countries) is home to many Bloggers/Hubbers who feel most powerful tearing others down. The fact that they don't possess the expertise needed to create what they attempt to destroy seems to elude them. A good example is Oprah and her Leadership Academy. (13)

I know what it is like to earn a stellar reputation and have it tainted by flippant comments made by someone who has a computer and more time/anger than brains! Those of us who write for a living cannot afford to have a loose cannon shooting unjustified mortar at our work. (Constructive critiques, however, are always welcome.)

For those who are serious about their writing careers, my recommendation is to create a "Brand" that is all your own. Separate email address, phone number, P.O. Box, etc. (14)

Share your reasons . . .

I am eager to hear reasons why you chose to use your real name and photo, or not. I think there may be as many reasons as there are Bloggers/Hubbers. I look forward to your comments below!!

Condemn or applaud . . .

Yes, most of us write Hubs because it's fun and if we earn a few dollars along the way, it's icing on the cake! For many of us, earning a living as a writer/author on the Internet is the only way to remain self-sufficient while secluded in a safe environment. (9)

Can you imagine how many people around the world are working the Internet to earn funds to make some kind of safe escape from intolerable circumstances?? Yes, there are scammers galore . . . And those of us who work the keyboard regularly can spot them pretty easily. (Okay, maybe not me.) Let them go. Give it up to karma.

However, if a responsible 300 pound woman in a tiny town is abused regularly by the breadwinner and is still managing to raise 5 exceptional kids while working every spare minute/hour in secret to secure their financial escape and safety, does it really matter that she uses a photo of a pretty foreign celebrity in her profile to hasten her goal? Would we condemn her?? Or would we applaud her!!

HubPages is a democratic forum. Blessings to Paul, Robin, James, Paul, Jason, staff and HubPages for this unique Internet opportunity. Everyone gets a voice. Grains of truth rise to the top. The shaft blows away in the wind. (10)

Comments 27 comments

Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Thank you Idunn for the insight and the compliments . . .

"There are some too gentle to live among wolves . . . "

Although I don't get the impression that you're a "shrinking violet" I do get that you are a highly sensitive, highly creative, highly evolved soul . . . Unfortunately I know first hand those qualities are magnets for "crazies . . . "

If ever you have that problem again here at HubPages, please contact Paul Edmondson directly or any of the marvelous HubTeam (don't you just love all of them to pieces??) Maybe you already have as you mentioned you have been left alone for 3-10 days?? . . .

HubPages reserves the right to refuse participation in this community to anyone it deems inappropriate or potentially destructive . . . They try to be a democratic and as open minded as possible but they will not suffer fools . . . And I know they love you dearly . . .

Again, thank you for sharing . . . I, too will be on the look out . . . And my thoughts for at least one Internet site, HubPages, to be the safest for your inspiring words will be out there everyday . . .

Blessings, Earth Angel . . .


Iðunn 8 years ago

I really left, and when I came back I knew that she both had been here and would again.  She's here, but that stubborn streak arises.   There is nothing for her to win.

My heart of course goes out to you.  You had to deal with physical danger and this woman falls under a different type.  Like your other friend, the writer, my stalker specializes in behind the back libels and little 'in your face' personal comments directly to me to let me know she's around and in trying to get others to help her with "mob" attacks, others she uses up for those attacks and then dumps on later with their own information in new slander campaigns at them. 

She doesn't make friends, she makes temporary allies.  Anyone who tells her anything about themselves is completely doomed.  She gets most of her 'rush' off making as many people unhappy as she is and upsetting others makes her feel 'powerful'.

It's not a surprise.  There has been no time or place on the internet for me in the last 4 years that she hasn't turned up in 3 - 10 days.  She is always around.  I fianlly simply decided not to hide and returned here where at least I could deny comments and not be forced into interaction with her various alts and personas.

I quite enjoy your writing too, earthangel, and perhaps I did not stress that enough.  I think you have written an important hub and I hope it is widely read.  I do know from researching stalking and mobbing that cyberstalking is increasing exponentially.  Laws are starting to be passed to cover aspects of it, in view of that 13 yr old girl who was stalked to death by a woman much like my stalker.

I think eventually the law will catch up to the crime and then perhaps the internet can be a safer place to be.  


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Blessings to you Idunn . . .

I knew I must have hit a sensitive nerve by your comments . . . I am so sorry that you have experienced cyber-stalking . . . And yes, it is just as illegal and can be almost as devastating as physical stalking . . .

There are so many nutso's out there I often wonder why those of us with any sanity left just don't all go underground . . .

We all respond to Hubs through the lens of our experiences; mine include being stalked by someone with the intention, the money, the opportunity and the brains to have me killed . . . No maybe's about it . . . And he was arrested when the hit men he hired turned him in . . .

Being found out and arrested however, only added fuel to the fire and made him even more comitted to making sure I never saw another day . . . By the grace of the wild divine, under cover hit men with consciences and an unusually high IQ (even though I'm blonde) I stayed just one step ahead of him for years . . .

And no, he's not gone yet so I still look over my shoulder today . . . I hate having to live this way, but the key word is "live . . . " That's the perspective my Hub was written from . . . How does one still operate openly and authentically on the Internet and still preserve one's safety . . .

Sabotaging ones' good works and reputation on the Internet can be devastating . . . A single undeserved derogatory comment can undo months of solid content . . . I've had it happen . . . And I cried my eyes out . . . When it happened to a friend of mine who had just written a top selling book, I took action on her behalf . . . Which is what I should have done on my own behalf but it never crossed my mind . . .

In her case, I went to the top brass of each of the Internet sites where vicious comments were being posted . . . Amazon, eBay, B&N, Borders, etc. . . . They each took the time to read all the positive comments about my friend's book, and then deleted the negative comments as inappropriate/biased/unfair/unhelpful . . .

For me, I have stopped putting so much stock in my "reputation" which I once coveted as an important asset . . . Too many idiots sling unwarranted arrows at things that are good . . . At least with the Internet, our writing constitutes a "body of work" and can stand on its own merit . . .

Again, I am a fan of your writing and thinking process . . . I am delighted that you are back at HubPages (although did you ever really leave??) as so many people wrote about missing you dearly . . .

I send warm wishes that whoever was bothering you has gone on to other distractions . . .

Blessings always, Earth Angel . . .


Iðunn 8 years ago

I think it's a very good hub. However, as a victim of a chonic online stalker who promotes and sincerely believes I deserve to be stalked simply for being visible anywhere ever and being easily liked, perhaps I'm bringing that to the table.

I'm certainly not accusing you but I do feel it cannot be stressed enough that the ONLY responsibility for a stalking situation lies with the stalker, not the victim for being visible, available, vulnerable or any other such nonsense.

When some nutso spends up to 8 hours a day for multiple years searching any possible place I might go and following me around trying to interact with me in 50 'fake' names and personas dropping just enough hints so I'll be aware that she also found me here there and the other place simply to enjoy the power trip of trying to upset me, the behavior problem is hers, not mine.

God knows how many people who like irish, revolutions or social justice she's slandered and attacked that have no clue who I am, because to have found as many quiet places as I went, she had to be casting a pretty wide net.

That is exactly why I stopped hiding. First it doesn't do any good, and second, even with me gone she never quit and moreso, by not appearing as myself it gives her the advantage of attacking me without any chance for others to compare what she says with what they see.


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Tuesday Evening Greetings Idunn . . .

I'm glad you stopped by . . . And flattered as I am a fan of your writing and poetry . . . Thank you for taking the time to pen your thoughtful comments . . . I must say, however, my impression is that you were responding to someone else's opinion, not mine . . . I agree with your comments fully and couldn't imagine what I had written that would point to an opposing perspective . . .

I have now reread this/my Hub several times looking for the items to which you seemed to take exception . . . I make a concerted effort to chose my words wisely as I know they are read around the world - and viewed through the personal lens of a million unique experiences . . . I'm afraid I am at a loss to find the potentially offending words/sentences . . .

Would you be so kind as to point out what I wrote that gave you the impression: 1) I wanted anyone to be a fake person? 2) I was blaming the victim?? 3) I was blaming the Internet?? 4) I think stalking victims should drop off the Internet?? Since I do not support any of those positions I would like to change the potentially misleading words/sentences . . .

This has been a very successful Hub . . . (Did you notice the second batch of comments?? There are TWO Comment boxes in this Hub . . . It was an experiment . . . ) It has spawned about 12 new friendships outside of HubPages with women who, unfortunately, have been/are being stalked . . . And spawned a series of 13 Hubs about stalking . . . http://hubpages.com/relationships/STALKING-in-the-...

Again, I appreciate you time and energy . . . I honor the positive contributions you make to the HubPages community . . . I look forward to hearing from you . . .

Blessings always, Earth Angel . . .


Iðunn 8 years ago

I have to say this about anonymity and the internet. If someone really wants to stalk you, a little pseudo-anonymity doesn't really help. I would not receive any value at all out of interrelating with others on the net if I had to be a fake person to do it.

In a way, it almost sounds like blaming the victim a bit in here. It comes off like saying that by being honest, a person deserves to be stalked. Girls in short skirts don't deserve to be raped. People sleeping in their houses aren't responsible for being making themselves murdered because someone else broke in, it isn't your fault you get robbed because you didn't have good enough locks to keep the most aggressive thief out.

The blame for internet stalking belongs solely and exclusively to the stalker, not to the victim for freely relating to others in a small community.

I think you have written a useful and important hub, but I do disagree with you there. I don't think the solution to stalkers is to have victims drop off the internet or change every detail of their lives online because might makes right and the stalker is difficult to prosecute.

I think the answer is for communities to take steps to pick up where the legal system (so far) fails the internet. Make no mistake about it. Stalking online is every single bit as illegal as stalking offline, just harder to prove. None of that justifies the stalker's putrid behavior.


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Thank you for your best wishes Nice Guy!! I do my utmost to never cross his path again!! I am also writing a series of HubPages on Stalking!! Thank you for sharing!! Blessings, Earth Angel!!


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Blessings to you Gabriella05!! Thank you for your kind support!! It happened a long time ago so I am less scared than I used to be!! Alas, there are certain things that still happen that bring all the old memories rushing back!! I am safe and sound and surrounded by love!! I wish and pray the same for you and yours!! Blessings, Earth Angel!!


gabriella05 profile image

gabriella05 8 years ago from Oldham

It horrible, what happened to you. I am speechless I just hope that you will not be scard


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Thank you Kenny for your always kind words!! Yes, it was even more outrageous than I alluded to above!! I will write more about it in a separate Hub on stalking!! Blessings on your day gentle soul!! Earth Angel!!


Kenny Wordsmith profile image

Kenny Wordsmith 8 years ago from Chennai

That's very outrageous, what happened to you. I never realized to what lengths such people would go! Thank you for sharing, God bless you.


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

You are so correct CounterPunch!!

Thank you for your thoughtful comments and Hub-link!! I agree with you about Democracy!! See my Hub http://hubpages.com/hub/America-Sleeps-While-Democ...

The problem is balance!! Sooooooooooooo many of the tactics I had to learn in order to protect my life and my whereabouts, I learned later, are the same ones criminals use to avoid procecution and the law!!

Again, I wind up going back to the single biggest crisis facing the world today: The lack of independent thinking!! Sound, logical, rational, albeit time consuming, independent thinking/discourse would NOT bring us all to the same conclusions!! It would however, provide multi-level all-inclusive soundly-creative solutions to most of our pressing issues!! See my Hub: http://hubpages.com/education/In-your-opinion--wha...

Thank you again for taking the time to express independent thinking at its BEST!!

Blessings to you CounterPunch!! Earth Angel!!


thecounterpunch profile image

thecounterpunch 8 years ago

Hi Earth Angel,

I'm a bit like you as for not expecting that some people can be so nasty as to turn other people down.

But for me the stake of privacy is much bigger: It's just about Democracy. All is done today in medias to make people think that if someone is anonymous (as you can see it is my case) it is for bad reason and anti-democratic. This is just a pervasive mass psychological persuasion for a political agenda which is about tracking all people on earth with microchips and so prepare them to abandon the privacy idea:

http://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Astonishin...

"The end goal is to get everybody chipped, to control the whole society, to have the bankers and the elite people control the world."

- Nick Rockefeller quoted by Aaron Russo in this interview.

People tend to think narrowly about personal security, they should think more globally about the whole security of the people that are threatened covertly under many disguised pretext either e-business, terrorism protection, children protection, progress etc.


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Thank you for the comments Eileen!!

Yes, it was awful!! For me and many, many other people (primarily women!!)

Yes, there are some really sick people out there!! I have found, however, that the ones who are the most dangerous are the ones who look normal, but some life event throws them off their already precarious balance, previously hidden!!

Yes, credit cards are still used to stalk the people who use them!! I am not a computer whiz by any stretch but I could find out all about you within a few minutes!! I am writing a new Hub on this very subject!! I am torn, however, between putting the "how's" out there so people can better protect themselves, and giving the "how's" to people who may want to use them against other people!!??

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!! Again, thank you for your comments!!

Blessings to you and yours and safety this Season!! Earth Angel!!


Eileen Hughes profile image

Eileen Hughes 8 years ago from Northam Western Australia

I would not have believed that a credit card could get you in to so much trouble.

It must have been awful for you.There must be some reall sick people out there with nothing better to do.


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Thank you cgull9m!! Yes, I am much safer, live in a gated community and am surrounded by GREAT friends!! (That's not to say the elderly 'crazy' woman down the street likes me any better today!!?) It is a shame that not only do we need to protect ourselves, but children even more!! Thank you for the lovely comments!! Blessings to you and yours!! Earth Angel!!


cgull8m profile image

cgull8m 8 years ago from North Carolina

Great hub, sad to see even in a modern world one has to live in secrecy, it is sad the stalkers are getting worse by the day. The parents have to start teaching kids how to respect people and privacy from day one if not they will be like the one you mentioned. I am glad you are in a better place and safer one.


compu-smart profile image

compu-smart 8 years ago from London UK

Wow! It sounds like your in a better and smarter place now:)

Thanks for your blessings x


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Thanks for the comments Compu-Smart!!

The person stalking me wasn't some crazed maniac off the street without resources!! He was smart, rich, famous, intense and had a full staff!! I was traveling on business through out the western US a lot and had a wonderful boyfriend who would fly to meet me!!

Within two hours after charging something on my credit card he would call and say, "I really think you should have chosen the blue over the pink in that Victoria Secret teddy you just ordered . . ." Or he would call my boyfriend and say, "I really think if you are going to get lucky tonight, you should have booked the penthouse suite . . . "

Once, we were in another state and ordered room service for dinner!! My stalker conference-called both our cell phones at once to ask how we would like our salmon!! Before the dinner ever made it to the room!! That's when I cancelled ALL credit cards!!

Glad you are not using them any more either!!

Blessings and safety on your day!! Earth Angel!!


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Hi Cheryl!! Thanks for the comments!! Actually, many best selling writers who tackle various genres' at once also use nom de plumes!! Once an author becomes recognized for a certain topic or style it seems to work against them in another!! I know a famous and prolific author in SF who uses 30 different names!! (And a staff of ghost writers as well!!) Thanks again for the comments!! Blessings to you and your writing!! Earth Angel!!


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Thanks Aman!! Glad you stopped by!! Yes, some of us guard our privacy religiously!! Blessings!! Earth Angel!!


compu-smart profile image

compu-smart 8 years ago from London UK

A great hub Earth Angel..

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I hope this Hub can educate people so as not to fall in to the same trap.

Lucky for me i keep my privacy with many different names and i never shop online. Not because of security reasons but No credit cards reasons!! Even if i did have i still would not trust the net..


Cheryl Regina G. Villanueva 8 years ago

Nom de plumes are truly common among writers. This hub of yours is likewise a good eye-opener, particularly for internet people who want to stay discreet. I myself use a pseudonym once in while for security reasons. So, it's not a surprise anymore about keeping one's identity..it's the "in" thing nowadays in this cyber world.


William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey 8 years ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

Your story is riveting, Earth Angel. It's natural that everyone is not going to agree with everyone else, but what's important is a spirit of mutual respect. My granddaughter told me how to put a picture on the computer, but I haven't had time to experiment with the process. That's why I use Bing Crosby's Postage Stamp for my Avitar (but I do so gladly because of my respect for Der Bingle.) I do worry a bit about those who would steal my ID, and, at 72, I'm not in the running for Bachelor of the Year.


Aman deep Garg profile image

Aman deep Garg 8 years ago

Informative,i agree some people loves their privacy more than anything else.


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

Thanks Jormins!! YES, I am delighted that Oprah is traveling with Obama!! Actually, my ministers adult grandson/model is front and center traveling with them as their road manager!! And yes, it is very, very dangerous on the Internet if one does not practice caution!! Thanks for dropping by!! Blessings on your day!! Earth Angel!!


jormins profile image

jormins 8 years ago from Chicago, IL

Its so true how dangerous the internet has become, I forget where I saw (prob. Dr. Phil) a statistic of an enormous number of registered sex offenders on MySpace. Its always better to error with caution on the net these days.

ps- have you seen Oprah is now on the campaign trail and things continue to look good for Obama in Iowa. I've never been a big fan of Oprah but I'm opening up to her after that.

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    The good outweighs the bad . . .

    So in this Season of Love, Forgiveness and Joy, I can only imagine that high stress levels were responsible for the odious discourse now running through several threads. Not many like my enthusiastic/cheerleader ‘!!' at the end of each sentence either. Even fewer like my "Blessings always" but my intentions are positive and my heart is in the right place. I may not agree with all the opinions expressed in the Blogs/Hubs but I learn sooooooooo much each day that the good far exceeds the bad. I pray we cut eat other some slack for cultural, experiential and philosophical differences.

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    Earth Angel profile image

    Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

    Hi Ralph!! Thanks for the nice comments!! That was what I was hoping for; authors and writers giving more thought to the information they put out there on the Internet!! If you do decide to change, will you please let some of us, your biggest fans, know your new id so we can still follow your wonderful writing closely??!! Blessings, Earth Angel!!


    Ralph Deeds profile image

    Ralph Deeds 8 years ago

    I never gave this issue much thought until now. I may change my approach. Thanks.


    Earth Angel profile image

    Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

    Thanks Mad Work at Home Mom!! I assume your mean "mad" as in too busy, too stressed, too overbooked and NOT "mad" as in "angry" or as in "crazy!!" ;-) GREAT humor!! I love your Hubs!! Blessings, Earth Angel!!


    madWAHM profile image

    madWAHM 8 years ago

    I like using a nick-name/fake name because it' more fun, interesting and mysterious. Mine (madWAHM) pretty much describes - mad Work at Home Mom - what I do and that I've got a sense of humor. I've found that many work at home moms can relate.


    Earth Angel profile image

    Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

    Very good points Lissie!!

    I'm not sure what the ultimate solution will be to names, nom de plumes, etc.!! As long as misguided people use honest information to harm gentle souls, there is going to be a balancing act between sharing too much and too little fact!!

    For me it was easy because Earth Angel has been my nickname from childhood and Earth Angel Publishing has been my company name for years!!

    I, too am very proud of my body of work, but not so proud as to want to jeopardize my safety!! I still need a bit of a shield between myself and the crazies!!

    I just saw a GREAT 2-hour documentary late last night here in the U.S.: Big Brother/Big Business, all about how much of our personal information is being collected for "marketing" purposes!! It was soooooooooo scary!!

    For those unsure of using a nom de plume, I recommend a variation of their own name!! Middle then Last!! Or, Last as First!! Or New as Middle!! etc.

    And remember, in many parts of the world, taking on a new name happens as part of changing directions in life!! Spiritual awakenings!! New professions!! Even marriage!! So if you look at your new career as an author as being married to your calling in life, you could use any name you wanted!!

    Thanks so much for the comments!! I love reading your perspectives!!

    Blessings, Earth Angel!!


    Lissie profile image

    Lissie 8 years ago from New Zealand

    Very interesting - I've actually jut decided to use my own name - as an author anyway. I hate the name, it was my father's who meant nothing much to me, but I never got around to changing it. It's one saving grace is that it's distinctive - in general if there is someone in the country with the same one - we are probably related! I think its different in Australia/NZ - recently I changed the internet a/c into my partner's name for, tax reasons, they had to put me on as authorised party otherwise I wouldn't have been able to do anyting with the a/c! I need his signed authorisation to pick up a refund from Medicare for him! I thought about getting a nom-de-plume for marketing - and even made one up that I liked in fact it's better than my real name! In the end I decided to keep signed iwth my own name - it seemed a bit dishonest I guess, I'm proud of what I write and what I do I don't want to hide it, if someone from real life who know's me comes accross my work at least they will know it's me and I guess that's an ego thing! Just my 2c worth your mileage will vary


    Isabella Snow profile image

    Isabella Snow 8 years ago

    Great hub! Personally, I dont care if people use their real names or fake names or real pics or fake pics. Its perfectly acceptable for people to use fake everything, considering the world today. Personally, my photo is me, the name is a pen name I write books under. Its pretty normal for authors to do this - and I sing under a stage name, which is also normal for musicians. But my opinions, my words, my everything is 100% honest and that's all that matters, IMO. Again, great hub!


    Earth Angel profile image

    Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

    Dearest Susan!!

    You are most welcome!! Please feel to write me about this at any time!! Just go to the HP box Contact Earth Angel and personal emails will be accepted!! This is one of the reasons I became a Life Skills Coach!! I had NO clue before this all happened!! Most women have NO clue until they are faced with similar circumstances!!

    Yes you were stalked!! Yes you were made to feel uncomfortable/fearful in your own home!! And fearful for your beloved animals!! And right after a break up!! Yes your boundaries were violated!! And although it may not have been a physical attack (thank heavens - or was it??) it none the less shakes us to our very cores and undermines the very foundation we have carefully constructed!!

    Is there a chance your stalker somehow felt he "could be there for you" in your time of "need" after the split?? I know it sounds ridiculous but over the years I have had at least a dozen men inappropriately plant themselves stubbornly in my life when they discover I'm single!! (And many of them were married!!) Some want to protect me!!?? Some want to assure me they know what is better for me than I do myself!!?? Some want me to assume the position of "the little woman!!" And they ALL want sex in exchange for "looking out for me!!??" (I may be petite in stature but nothing else!!)

    I'm glad you moved!! Lack of immediate proximity often is enough to discourage a stalker, depending upon his motivation!! (I know that sounds sexist but 99.9% of stalkers are men!!)

    And it sounds like you have a wonderful and safe life now!!?? Yes?? Remarried?? It is often not until we are safe that we are able to process these challenging past events!!

    I must admit, I still come unhinged at times!! All of my friends know every detail of my circumstances!! Without them I would surely be dead!! I am blessed to have so many that will come running in the middle of the night if I am in a panic, real or imaginary!!

    Yes, I will write many more Hubs on this subject!! I would love for you to contribute!! And yes, I have been writing a book on this very subject for the last several years!!

    Thank you so much for sharing your painful story!! Feel blessed for getting out of it fully intact!! Each night on the news we hear of women who weren't so fortunate!!

    Blessings on your life and your safety and your writing!! Earth Angel!!


    AskSusanPeters profile image

    AskSusanPeters 8 years ago from Oklahoma

    Earth Angel,

    I never knew who gave the plant to me.  I had a few men who were interested in asking me out at the time so I didn't really give it much thought.  I had recently gone through a divorce so I was saying "no" to everyone. 

    No, it didn't stop when the plant died (at least I don't think so)....couldn't tell ya when it died.

    My stalker wanted me to know he was stalking me.  He would let me know when he was at my house by unhooking the phone line outside of my house and calling me.  Of course, I couldn't call for help because HE would answer my phone!

    I did move but only a few miles away from where I was living.  My stalker continued but not to the extent he was at the first location.

    I had horses.  He would lead my horses from the pasture and place them in my front yard then leave.  I called the law several times.  They would come out to my house and look around.  While the law was inside my house the stalker would knock on a window to let them know he was still around then leave by the time they got to the outside of the house.

    Oh, the stories I could tell!

    You really should take notes and publish Hubs on all this stuff.  I write a book but it is not my "field".  People have no idea of what it is like to be stalked.  Or, maybe, they have been stalked and never realized it.

    Bless you for letting me get this off my chest and for being there for me to tell my story.  I've never really given all these events a second thought for nearly 10 years but I guess it all bothered me much more than I ever dreamed.

    Susan


    Earth Angel profile image

    Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

    BINGO!! Happens all the time!! And often the device is so small that when the plant dies and you throw the whole thing out you never even see the device!! Did you ever discover the "friend" who left it?? Do you still have the plant?? I imagine the answer is no to both!!?? Keep thinking about it!! Did it stop about the time the plant gave out?? Or you moved?? You may have figured it out!! Blessings on your detective work!! Earth Angel!!


    AskSusanPeters profile image

    AskSusanPeters 8 years ago from Oklahoma

    Earth Angel,

    I never thought about a device put into a plant, etc. As a matter of a fact I had a pretty potted plant left on my door step around the time all this started. It was nearing my birthday so I didn't give it a second thought. I just figured one of my friends had left me a beautiful plant.

    Hmmmm,

    Susan


    Earth Angel profile image

    Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

    Greetings AskSusanPeters!!

    Thank you so much for sharing!! My hair on the back of my neck still bristles when I hear of others in similar circumstances!! AND I am so glad it finally stopped for you!!

    Yes, stalkers are often very slick and know the laws and the lines-not-to-cross much better than we do!! And they will push the boundaries as far as they can!!

    Thank goodness that the laws have been MUCH improved!! In California the definition of stalking has gone so far as to include, "anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe in your home or in public . . . "

    I have learned A LOT about stalking!! In the beginning I HAD to learn in order to keep one step ahead of him!! Since then I have always kept one finger on the pulse of stalking tactics and laws!!

    Your case, unfortunately, does NOT sound like someone going through your trash!!?? Sorry!! For $50 at Radio Shack you can purchase a hand-held device that lets anyone listen to conversations within your home from the comfort of their car or their porch down the street!! For another $50 you can purchase a Nanny-cam and hide it easily in a potted plant given as a gift!!

    Sometimes it helps to figure out the motivation behind the stalker!! It is not always logical!! In my case, there was something about me that reminded him of his mother who had passed away a few years earlier!! The fact that I was 20 years younger than him 50 years younger than his mom did not factor in to his mental picture of me!! They were large people, I am petite. They had jet black hair and eyes, I am blonde and blue eyed!!

    It turned out to be my ability to nurture!! He wanted it!! And if he couldn't have it, no one could!!

    I've had other less extreme cases!! A man and his wife wanted someone for a threesome and thought if they showed intense interest in my life and every move I made I would somehow be interested!!

    I've had several who were convinced I was the answer to their mid-life crisis!!

    I've had even more who think I am some kind of savior and their guarantee to heaven!!??

    Keep your eyes open gentle one!! Thank you for sharing!!

    Blessings on your day!! And the warmth and safety of Spirit always!! Earth Angel!!


    Earth Angel profile image

    Earth Angel 8 years ago Author

    Thanks William!!

    I was thinking of you as I put Christmas music on with Sir Bing!! Happy Holidays Sir William!!

    There are many ways to put your real photo on HubPages that would still protect a bit of your privacy!! No close ups!! Side shots work!! Wearing a golf hat and swinging off the tees would be a GREAT one!!

    Plus, a photo doesn't have to be your official avatar, it can be one of the photos within a single Hub!!

    Bachelor of the Year or not, at age 72 with good credit and a history of writing for a newspaper, you are a greater target than most!! We should ALL check our credit reports at least twice per year to keep on top of any fraud!!

    Thanks for the comments and for dropping by!! I always love hearing from you!!

    Blessings on your day!! And your swing!! Earth Angel!!


    AskSusanPeters profile image

    AskSusanPeters 8 years ago from Oklahoma

    Earth Angel,

    Powerful hub. I thought long and hard about putting information out about who I am. I often feel I've included too much information about myself but chose to provide what I have even though I think having that data out there scary.

    I, too, have been stalked. My event took over a year to end. The folks doing the stalking don't even realize what they are doing is wrong. My stalker may have taken quite some time and consideration before begining his adventure with me but from my perspective it all began out of the blue.

    This person knew things before I did. He would have my cart waiting for me at the grocery store loaded with things he knew I would have to replace in my cabnets. I'm guessing he had kept a watchful eye on my trash to have this information. I never shopped on the same day....how did he know I was going to the store THAT day or even that store?

    The questions and fears go on and on. Then, one day, about a year and 1/2 later it all stopped. Why? Who knows.

    The worst part of the entire situation was that I could not get any help. He was slick.

    That all being said, thanks for a VERY informatvie hub!

    Susan


    AskSusanPeters profile image

    AskSusanPeters 8 years ago from Oklahoma

    Earth Angel,

    Powerful hub. I thought long and hard about putting information out about who I am. I often feel I've included too much information about myself but chose to provide what I have even though I think having that data out there scary.

    I, too, have been stalked. My event took over a year to end. The folks doing the stalking don't even realize what they are doing is wrong. My stalker may have taken quite some time and consideration before begining his adventure with me but from my perspective it all began out of the blue.

    This person knew things before I did. He would have my cart waiting for me at the grocery store loaded with things he knew I would have to replace in my cabnets. I'm guessing he had kept a watchful eye on my trash to have this information. I never shopped on the same day....how did he know I was going to the store THAT day or even that store?

    The questions and fears go on and on. Then, one day, about a year and 1/2 later it all stopped. Why? Who knows.

    The worst part of the entire situation was that I could not get any help. He was slick.

    That all being said, thanks for a VERY informatvie hub!

    Susan

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      Notes . . .

      (1) See Some Like It Scott Hubs on Sequins Sweaters

      (2) See Isabella Hub on Asperger and Dyscalculia

      http://hubpages.com/hub/Aspergers-Syndrome-Whats-It-Really-Like

      http://hubpages.com/hub/Dyscalculia-Dyslexias-Lesser-Known-Sibling

      (3) I concede that there are many more invalid reasons, but they go elsewhere other than HubPages

      (4) And I'm the one who literally saved her life and got her to the Hospital Emergency Room when she had a stroke earlier this year!!

      (5) My logo, website, stationary, etc. were designed by the extremely talented James Edmondson of HubPages fame!! James, you are still THE BEST!!

      (6) I am working on a series of Hubs for emergency preparedness that will cover these oddities in-depth!!

      (7) Another Hub in the works!!

      (8) For those of you who think Michael Moore's documentary, "Bowling for Columbine," overstated the facts regarding violence in the US, NOT. (As I start my series of Hubs on Stalking, Violence, etc. I will confirm more US facts.)

      (And of course as I am writing this, the Nebraska Mall shootings just took place . . . Stop the world and let me off . . . Prayers to the many loved ones who remain . . . )

      (9) Don't take us lightly!!

      (10) Or is that just my wishful thinking?? We Asperger's (like Einstein and Gates) operate in a different reality!!??

      (11) As the publisher, I am required by law to operate with a certain amount of transparency. As the publisher of many authors, I am compelled by spiritual law to operate with full accountability.

      (12) More on the murder, and defense, based on his book later. Along with the tens of thousands of dollars he spent defending himself in a case he had nothing to do with! (And he's an attorney!!)

      (13) See my Hub on supporting Oprah, I never did finish the Hub but support Oprah 1,000.000.000%)

      http://hubpages.com/hub/Love-and-Support-to-Oprah

      (14) Of course, another Hub coming!! In the meantime, cgull8m offered a GREAT suggestion: http://cgullworld.blogspot.com/2007/07/googles-grandcentral-personal-online.html

      Thanks again for dropping by!! If you liked this Hub please consider a thumbs up!!

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