Successfully Dealing With Receptionists

THE RECEPTIONIST . . .

Perky, cute, hot, sexy, and a voice so silky that even if you had a complaint with her company, you would stay on the line (on purpose) just to hear her talk.

The receptionist is "the" most under-appreciated employee in today's workforce. I am not exaggerating. I am telling you a cold, hard truth that I felt needed to be told.

The average receptionist is expected to put in long, unappreciated, unnoticed hours for her office or company all without complaint. She is expected to manage a phone system that would make NASA green with envy. And still, during all of this stressful work, look pretty and smile at whomever walks through her lobby.

Her, "Good morning. May I help you?" may sound rehearsed, but let me assure you that it's not. Our friends, the receptionists, are "made" to smile even on their worst days--with headaches, toothaches, menstrual cramps, and a griping, lazy bum of a husband at home who thinks her job is "glamorous."

Speaking as a male, there is no way that I could do what these hard-working ladies do for sometimes up to 60 hours a week. I just don't have it in my fiber. And if you are thinking that I am publishing this story to make points with some receptionist, you may be right. I am all about giving credit where credit is due.

So much for the National Secretaries Day. These girls are not secretaries. Actually, and no offense to secretaries, a secretary should have to do the work of any given receptionist and then tell in her own words what her work day was like.

FOR WAY TOO LONG . . .

The receptionist has been overlooked by their bosses for way too long. I am all for a National Receptionists Day, ladies. What do you think? If you already have one, great! If not. You deserve one in my humble opinion.

Can you, "Mr. Office Manager, C.E.O., or plant superintendent, imagine for one moment what your day would be like if you didn't have a highly-trained receptionist? Let me spell it out for you. Chaos. Mayhem. Loss of productivity. Employees disgruntled. No visible morale. Does that look like a place that you would love to manage? Not me.

HERE ARE SOME MYTHS ABOUT RECEPTIONISTS . . .

1. (If you are a male) flirt with any receptionist, and she will be so appreciative for the attention that she will see to it personally that you get right in to see her boss for a lucrative sales presentation that will make "you" huge bucks in commission.
2. Receptionists are known "party girls," after-hours. Funny. In my 23 years of working for our local newspaper, all of our receptionists went home at five and came in at eight the next morning--all without a hang-over or the smell of Jack Daniels on them.
3. Receptionists are really a group of "non-thinking" bimbo's that swinging bosses hire for their own use such as picking up their lunches, dry cleaning and buying gifts for their wives at home just so he, the swinging boss, can brag to other swinging bosses about "his gal" who will give her life for him.
4. Receptionists are not to be considered "professional." What jerk wrote that stupid law?
5. Receptionists should always do as they are told. Why? Are jerks who want to "cut ahead" of other people waiting in the lobby any better than the average clod on the street?

WARDROBE FOR THE RECEPTIONIST IN YEARS PAST . . .

1. Short skirts that show more leg than a Playboy magazine.
2. Low-cut tops for the entertainment of the higher-up's.
3. High heels that give her the "wild" look.
4. Lots and lots of eye make-up to again, give her that "wild" look.

Today's professional receptionist can choose her wardrobe because she is not a "bimbo," or some "loose" woman who thrives on the attention of men.

She is well-versed in all facets of computer software, hardware, telephone codes, etiquette and how to look and act professional at all times of her work day.

Today's receptionist is not a gabby, flirty, gum-snapping, girl who just "blew in" one day and out of a heart of lust, her boss with a gut that overlooks his shoes, gave her a job in hopes that one day he could make her "party" with him just to be a meager raise.

Can you say Sexual Harassment? Let me tell you this. Today's receptionist knows full-well when a boss or customer is coming on to her. And she can do whatever it takes to protect herself thanks to our Federal Government who has long ago passed legislation that takes care of the receptionist.

THINGS (IF YOU ARE A MAN) NOT TO SAY TO A RECEPTIONIST . . .

• "Hey, sugar thighs!" "How's 'bout us hitting the dance floor at nine tonight?
• "Give you this fifty-dollar bill if you will let me get in to see "Hal."
• "You look good enough to pose for Hustler, babe!"
• "Do you think that this $500-dollar suit makes my butt look big?"
• "Anymore at home like you?"
• "I wish my wife looked like you."
• "Nice tan! Do you lay out nude on the beach, 'sweet cheeks?'?"

HOW TO CONDUCT YOURSELF WITH A RECEPTIONIST . . .

1. Be brief. State your name and make sure that you have an appointment. That's it. No chit-chat. No flirting no matter how hot the receptionist looks. She does not dress for YOU, but herself.
2. Sit patiently in the lobby and do not ask over and over, "is the boss about ready to see me? I have a really high-level meeting at the Pentagon later this afternoon."
3. Do NOT wink at any receptionist or offer them a bribe. You might be thrown out of her office.
4. When talking to a receptionist on the phone, be polite, but not gushy. Do not compliment her on any trait--voice, tone or how she might look. Be nice, but be professional.
5. Always say, "thank you," in-person or on the phone with a receptionist for they do NOT hear this phrase enough.
6. Do NOT gaze into her eyes while you are hanging on her desk in the lobby. Do you know how pathetic you really look when you do this? No wonder you are not allowed to see that many managers.
7. If she gets up from her desk to carry some papers to her boss' office, do not let-out a "wolf call," a "wow, what legs," or "love that wiggle." The security guards are only a call away.

AND TO RECEPTIONISTS EVERYWHERE . . .

"Thank you for the hard work that you do." "On behalf of men working and now retired, keep up the great work, ladies."