A Few Truths About Brown Noser's

Look familiar?
Look familiar?
No caption needed
No caption needed

I can remember

When America was the strongest industrial nation on earth. The easiest way to get to the top was to simply come to work, clock-in, and work. And do good work every workday. This principle worked well for many. But a lot of men and women never made it to the top of the corporate ladder. Instead they remained on the assembly line for the remainder of their 20-year career.

Then years later as progress evolved into a thing called “greenback prosperity,” someone, somewhere invented a filthy, stab-in-the-back way of succeeding in the office or factory by just, as it’s opponents nick-named it: “Brown nosing.” Now for decency’s sake, and to respect the HubPages editors, I cannot go into detail as to what is really meant by being a “brown noser,” but since you are very keen with common sense, you can pretty-much figure it out because a lot of you either used to or still do work for the public in some capacity.

"Brown Noser's" can be male or female
"Brown Noser's" can be male or female

To define "Brown Noser"

  • Any employee who is quick to agree with whatever the boss says, bad, good, or stupid.

  • Any employee who is always complimenting the boss even if he or she looks bad, good, or pathetic.
  • Any employee who will resort to tattling on you and your co-workers for the smallest infraction to just get ahead.

Are you desiring to be a "Pro Brown Noser?"
Are you desiring to be a "Pro Brown Noser?"
Awful creature, but a reality in the workplace
Awful creature, but a reality in the workplace

Spotting a "Brown Noser"

  • You can’t. They do not stand-out from the crew at the factory or office.
  • They dress just as you and your coworkers dress—bland and without advertising their under-handed way of working.
  • They laugh and share issues with you just like a “Regular Joe.” This is what makes them so dangerous.

What are the give-away signs of a “Brown Noser?”

  • No, their nose is NOT always brown. This is just a hilarious joke the employees who love teamwork made up to laugh at them.
  • They are always wearing a sickening grin not because they are happy, but to impress the boss.
  • They love to sit near the boss in staff or company meetings for it makes them look like they have authority.
  • A “Brown-Noser is in and out of the boss’ office so many times in a day you think that they are delivering a hot pizza to the boss for lunch.

Do you have a sign like this in your workplace?
Do you have a sign like this in your workplace?
Cleaning the boss' shoes is only one of the tasks performed by "Brown Nosers"
Cleaning the boss' shoes is only one of the tasks performed by "Brown Nosers"
"Brown Nosers" always keep their heads up the boss' behinds
"Brown Nosers" always keep their heads up the boss' behinds
Ken Osmond, "Eddie Haskell," was THE BEST "Brown Noser," on "Leave it To Beaver"
Ken Osmond, "Eddie Haskell," was THE BEST "Brown Noser," on "Leave it To Beaver"
Most office-holders know how to "Brown Nose"
Most office-holders know how to "Brown Nose"
"Brown Nose" mask for work
"Brown Nose" mask for work
Politician Paul Ryan cartoon
Politician Paul Ryan cartoon

How do YOU deal with "Brown Nosers" in your workplace?

See results without voting

Why the tag, "Brown Noser?"

I mentioned the term, "Brown Noser," in the beginning of this story. Well, because name-calling behind one’s back seems more tame and less apt to cause trouble in the workplace than to just walk up to the “Brown Noser” and say, “Tim, you are nothing but a low-down, two-faced “Brown Noser!” NOTE: the terms, “low-down” and “two-faced,” are many times added to give more filth and degradation to the “Brown Nose” name.

Other vulgar names that are synonomous with “Brown Noser”:

  • Butt kisser
  • Boot licker
  • Yes, man.
  • Suck-up

These names are equally-disrespectful, but these names do not keep the “Brown Noser” from getting one promotion after the other before you and your coworkers’ very eyes. “Brown Nosers” have the inside-track to “getting things done,” and always being in the boss’ good graces. The boss loves them so much that you have now started going into work with a nauseated stomach.

How do you like this expose on “Brown Noses” so far? But wait. It only gets deeper and more-informative. Just imagine that you are a new employee, actually “helpless prey” for the “Brown Noser” in your office to use as a good friend only to gather valuable information that will help the boss be stronger and “more on the ball” with his management skills.

What do most “Brown Nosers” usually say to New Employees?

  • “Hey, friend. My name is ‘Beford Newglass.’ If you need any help getting adjusted, just get with me and I will ‘show you the ropes,’” “Brown Noser” says in friendly tone, winks, and walks away.
  • “Hey, ‘Randal,’ is it? How about going to lunch with me and it’s on me. Awww. Forget it, ‘Randal.’ You can buy one day this week.” Note: taking the new employee to lunch is just a deception to get the New Employee to trust the “Brown Noser” enough to share confidential thoughts that New Employee has about the company.
  • “Randal,’ this burger is great, huh? You have been with us now, uhhh, six-months, right? What do you think of ‘Mr. Busterfield?” Note: Careful, New Employee what you say to this “snake at lunch.” He is gathering information that will either get you fired or get the boss to make your life miserable.
  • New Employee: Never reply to a question like this by answering:
  • “I think that ‘Mr. Bustfield,’ is a ‘windbag,’ and gets all over my nerves.”
  • “Mr. Bustfield,” needs to be sacking groceries at “Universal Groceries,” downtown.”
  • “How did ‘Bustfield,’ ever get to be boss, is a mystery to me.”

If you cannot understand all of this valuable free advice to spot a “Brown Noser,” then this one section of advice will surely open your eyes.

Hard-Facts About “Brown Nosers”:

  • The “Brown Noser” is always going to side with the boss, so do not disagree with the boss if he asks for opinions about a new company project.
  • The “Brown Noser” is always laughing, grinning, cracking clean jokes, and giving the impression that he is working hard each minute he or she is on company property.
  • The “Brown Noser” is always the one who accepts all of the overtime that is offered just to be the boss’ “lap dog.”
  • The “Brown Noser” is always the one to volunteer to take his or her own automobile and drive clear across the state at his or her own expense to deliver an important package to the boss’ college buddy—and the “Brown Noser” does this all without any extra pay.
  • The “Brown Noser” is always first to add to the boss’ remarks in an office meeting as to give you, the New Employee, that he is the Assistant Manager. (e.g. “Dwight Shruitt,” The Office/ Rainn Wilson).
  • The “Brown Noser,” always and you can “make book on this,” tells you what the boss expects and the orders for the day. This action by the “Brown Noser,” makes points with the boss allowing him to not get up from his extra-expensive leather high-back chair.
  • The “Brown User,” without being told by management, just walks around to everyone’s desk looking over their shoulder inspecting their work. This jerk goes so far as to listen-in on the salesperson’s calls as to give them tips and advice on how to be a better salesperson. But if you show irritation, “Brown Noser” threatens to write you up and discuss your anger issues with the boss.

Hey, good luck when you go in to your job in the morning. And by the way, those shoes you are wearing look great.

© 2014 Kenneth Avery

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Comments 10 comments

Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

There is always one lurking about. They can cripple a good business.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 2 years ago

I don’t know where you got those photos, but if I could get away with it, I would post them on my office walls. Sometimes brown nosers are very obvious about what they do. It’s the Sneaky Snakes that you have to watch out for. In one division of our office, the dregs rose to the top while the experienced cream stayed on the bottom, and you’ve just explained why.


junko profile image

junko 2 years ago

Ken you have a writing talent that is uniquely yours and you use it to shine a light to serve others. I'm not brown nosing, write on.


sheilamyers 2 years ago

All I can say is you described "brown nosers" perfectly and anyone reading should have no problem figuring out which of their co-workers fit the description. I answered your poll with "I ignore them", but there are times I laugh at them to their face. I'm not at my current job with any expectations of ever getting a higher position because I enjoy what I do. Even if I wanted to go higher, I'd never become a "brown noser" to get there.


vkwok profile image

vkwok 2 years ago from Hawaii

I'm glad I'm not working with any Brown Nosers!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

vkwok,

Me too. For you and me both NOT working with brown nosers.

I do not see how one of these people can live with themselves.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Eric,

I agree. And I am not a brown noser. I prefer the title "Tanned Nose," for at least I am getting a halfway compliment.

I am kidding. I have never been a BN.

Have a great week.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

sheilamyers,

Thanks for your nice and delightful comment. You laughed at them?

I loved it.

I believe I asked one at one job I had if they were a Brown Noser?

And you should have heard the denials and floor show that followed.

I was bored that day and needed something to keep me awake.

Please have a great week and I appreciate you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

junko,

LOL! I loved your remark. And I am not brown nosing either.

Come back and see me anytime. I never close.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MizBejabbers,

My photos just came from searches on Google. Type Brown nosers on the search bar and bam! You can get better photos than mine. I am sure that your computer is far better than mine.

I need to buy myself a new one---get myself a Christmas present ahead of time.

Thank you, Dear Friend, for making me feel good.

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