A Few Truths About Brown Noser's
I can remember
When America was the strongest industrial nation on earth. The easiest way to get to the top was to simply come to work, clock-in, and work. And do good work every workday. This principle worked well for many. But a lot of men and women never made it to the top of the corporate ladder. Instead they remained on the assembly line for the remainder of their 20-year career.
Then years later as progress evolved into a thing called “greenback prosperity,” someone, somewhere invented a filthy, stab-in-the-back way of succeeding in the office or factory by just, as it’s opponents nick-named it: “Brown nosing.” Now for decency’s sake, and to respect the HubPages editors, I cannot go into detail as to what is really meant by being a “brown noser,” but since you are very keen with common sense, you can pretty-much figure it out because a lot of you either used to or still do work for the public in some capacity.
To define "Brown Noser"
Any employee who is quick to agree with whatever the boss says, bad, good, or stupid.
- Any employee who is always complimenting the boss even if he or she looks bad, good, or pathetic.
- Any employee who will resort to tattling on you and your co-workers for the smallest infraction to just get ahead.
Spotting a "Brown Noser"
- You can’t. They do not stand-out from the crew at the factory or office.
- They dress just as you and your coworkers dress—bland and without advertising their under-handed way of working.
- They laugh and share issues with you just like a “Regular Joe.” This is what makes them so dangerous.
What are the give-away signs of a “Brown Noser?”
- No, their nose is NOT always brown. This is just a hilarious joke the employees who love teamwork made up to laugh at them.
- They are always wearing a sickening grin not because they are happy, but to impress the boss.
- They love to sit near the boss in staff or company meetings for it makes them look like they have authority.
- A “Brown-Noser is in and out of the boss’ office so many times in a day you think that they are delivering a hot pizza to the boss for lunch.
Why the tag, "Brown Noser?"
I mentioned the term, "Brown Noser," in the beginning of this story. Well, because name-calling behind one’s back seems more tame and less apt to cause trouble in the workplace than to just walk up to the “Brown Noser” and say, “Tim, you are nothing but a low-down, two-faced “Brown Noser!” NOTE: the terms, “low-down” and “two-faced,” are many times added to give more filth and degradation to the “Brown Nose” name.
Other vulgar names that are synonomous with “Brown Noser”:
- Butt kisser
- Boot licker
- Yes, man.
These names are equally-disrespectful, but these names do not keep the “Brown Noser” from getting one promotion after the other before you and your coworkers’ very eyes. “Brown Nosers” have the inside-track to “getting things done,” and always being in the boss’ good graces. The boss loves them so much that you have now started going into work with a nauseated stomach.
How do you like this expose on “Brown Noses” so far? But wait. It only gets deeper and more-informative. Just imagine that you are a new employee, actually “helpless prey” for the “Brown Noser” in your office to use as a good friend only to gather valuable information that will help the boss be stronger and “more on the ball” with his management skills.
What do most “Brown Nosers” usually say to New Employees?
- “Hey, friend. My name is ‘Beford Newglass.’ If you need any help getting adjusted, just get with me and I will ‘show you the ropes,’” “Brown Noser” says in friendly tone, winks, and walks away.
- “Hey, ‘Randal,’ is it? How about going to lunch with me and it’s on me. Awww. Forget it, ‘Randal.’ You can buy one day this week.” Note: taking the new employee to lunch is just a deception to get the New Employee to trust the “Brown Noser” enough to share confidential thoughts that New Employee has about the company.
- “Randal,’ this burger is great, huh? You have been with us now, uhhh, six-months, right? What do you think of ‘Mr. Busterfield?” Note: Careful, New Employee what you say to this “snake at lunch.” He is gathering information that will either get you fired or get the boss to make your life miserable.
- New Employee: Never reply to a question like this by answering:
- “I think that ‘Mr. Bustfield,’ is a ‘windbag,’ and gets all over my nerves.”
- “Mr. Bustfield,” needs to be sacking groceries at “Universal Groceries,” downtown.”
- “How did ‘Bustfield,’ ever get to be boss, is a mystery to me.”
If you cannot understand all of this valuable free advice to spot a “Brown Noser,” then this one section of advice will surely open your eyes.
Hard-Facts About “Brown Nosers”:
- The “Brown Noser” is always going to side with the boss, so do not disagree with the boss if he asks for opinions about a new company project.
- The “Brown Noser” is always laughing, grinning, cracking clean jokes, and giving the impression that he is working hard each minute he or she is on company property.
- The “Brown Noser” is always the one who accepts all of the overtime that is offered just to be the boss’ “lap dog.”
- The “Brown Noser” is always the one to volunteer to take his or her own automobile and drive clear across the state at his or her own expense to deliver an important package to the boss’ college buddy—and the “Brown Noser” does this all without any extra pay.
- The “Brown Noser” is always first to add to the boss’ remarks in an office meeting as to give you, the New Employee, that he is the Assistant Manager. (e.g. “Dwight Shruitt,” The Office/ Rainn Wilson).
- The “Brown Noser,” always and you can “make book on this,” tells you what the boss expects and the orders for the day. This action by the “Brown Noser,” makes points with the boss allowing him to not get up from his extra-expensive leather high-back chair.
- The “Brown User,” without being told by management, just walks around to everyone’s desk looking over their shoulder inspecting their work. This jerk goes so far as to listen-in on the salesperson’s calls as to give them tips and advice on how to be a better salesperson. But if you show irritation, “Brown Noser” threatens to write you up and discuss your anger issues with the boss.
Hey, good luck when you go in to your job in the morning. And by the way, those shoes you are wearing look great.
© 2014 Kenneth Avery
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