The strangest funny excuse for not going to work!

Back in the 1980s, my brother Tim and I worked at a Truck sales business in New Paris, Ohio. Tim had missed quite a few days of work for numerous excuses.

Our boss, Henry came out of his office one morning, walked straight up to me and said 'That brother of yours is going to drive me insane!" I just folded my arms and looked at him while trying to hide a grin.

He ranted on "He just called in and told me he couldn't come to work because a cow fell in the well.....how does a goldamn cow fall in a well?" Henry was fuming and went on saying " I am taking the wrecker out to his house and there had better be a goldam COW in that WELL!"

It was killing me not to laugh and as the word passed through the shop....I could hear people busting out laughing!

Henry came back about three hours later. He walked up to me and said "Well Tom, there was a cow in the well...we pulled it out with the wrecker....the cow is OK."

I asked "Is Tim coming in to work then?" Henry replied "I think so...unless he pushes that goldamn cow back in the well....thats it...hell....I'll bet you a dollar on a doughnut that he pushed that cow in the well!"

The whole shop was listening and everybody busted out laughing! Henry walked away mumbling something and I only caught a few cuss words as he went in his office, slamming the door!

Tim came in a little later and was grinning from ear to ear. He told me how the cow must have stepped on the old boards covering the well. They harnessed the cow with the help of a farmer and got it out.

To this day....I believe that our old boss, Henry, thinks Tim pushed that cow in the well to have an excuse to not come in to work.

Tim and Grandbaby.

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Comments 45 comments

ralwus 7 years ago

Why does this sound so familiar? funny story indeed. Did she spill her milk in the fall I wonder?


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

Funny story, Tom. I can write a book on great excuses to use to not come to work and even more excuses for why I'm late for work. All of them "work."


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

ralwus...LOL...Tim told the story on the radio years ago...they were having a "Best excuse for not going to work" segment. I think our boss was crying over spilled milk. :) Thanks! :)


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

john....grins....LOL...I need that book! :)


Pete Maida profile image

Pete Maida 7 years ago

That's a great story. That's one of those things that is too crazy not to be true.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

Pete...thanks...Tim and I still crack up about it after all these years.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky

This is so cute and funny.I love it. Real down home stuff. Thanks Tom


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

That's funny as hell. Reminds me of my home town.


Raven King profile image

Raven King 7 years ago from Cabin Fever

Thanks for a great laugh. This story is too funny.


caticorina profile image

caticorina 7 years ago from Italy

It`s a funny story,thanks for sharing.


Ginn Navarre profile image

Ginn Navarre 7 years ago

I loved it!!laughter is what the world needs more of. My best excuse when I called into work was (I died.)


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 7 years ago from Philippines

Ha ha ha...funny, funny!


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

alekhouse....thanks much! :)

Tom...grins...Indiana? Thanks! :)

Raven.....thank you! :)

caticorina....you're welcome and thanks! :)

Ginn...LOL....LOL...(I Died) LOL! Thanks! :)


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

jill...thanks much! :)


AsherKade profile image

AsherKade 7 years ago from Texas

lol....I love hillbillies....


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

Asherkade...me too! :)


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

That is priceless! Closest I ever came to anything remotely like that was tipping cows while *herbally altered* at a dance in 9th grade:-).


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

Mighty Mom (herbally altered)....LOL...wow...you too huh...I loved tipping cows! Thanks! :)


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

LOL, truth is stranger than fiction, isn't it?


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

FP...oh ....yes it is...Thanks! :)


sabu singh profile image

sabu singh 7 years ago

So hilarious. An enjoyable read. Thanks Tom.


wesleycox profile image

wesleycox 7 years ago from Back in Texas, at least until August 2012

This story is hilarious. Surely the boss would or should know that you can't push a cow into a well. HaHaHa. Great laugh.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

sabu....thank you much! :)

wesley.....LOL...never thought of that but you are right! Thanks much! :)


maggs224 profile image

maggs224 7 years ago from Sunny Spain

Being a member of your family sounds a real fun thing to be there seems never to be a dull moment in your household and there's always something unusual happening which gives you a seemly endless supply of material for your wonderful hubs.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

maggs....thanks much...I do have a fun family. They are an endless supply....thanks again! :)


jim10 profile image

jim10 7 years ago from ma

Great funny story. I can't believe the cow actually fell in a well.


Adam B 7 years ago

That's some funny s**t. I used to come up with some outrageous stories as to why I skipped certain classes in school.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

jim....thanks...Tim's boss couldn't believe it either. :)

Adam....thanks...I loved skipping school too...you can tell I skipped eng-lit a lot in my writing. :)


Triplet Mom profile image

Triplet Mom 7 years ago from West Coast

Great story, funny excuse. I love it!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

Tom, you have had quite the life. Your brother sounds like quite the original! I think it is sooo funny your boss went out to catch him in a lie...only to find he was telling the truth. You tell the BEST stories!! :D


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

Triplet Mom...thanks much! :)

K@ri....thanks...our boss...I'm sure thinks to this day that Tim pushed the cow in the well. Now...I'm not so sure he didn't? :)


shibashake profile image

shibashake 7 years ago

Glad the cow made it out ok. Makes me almost want to get a cow. :)


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

shibashake....LOL..."get a cow"....watch out for wells! :) Thanks! :)


Am I dead, yet? 7 years ago

Ah Tom, if only it were easy to get out of doing just about anything. I love reading about your family's mis-adventures! Certainly brightens up a day =]


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

AIDY....Thanks much! We have many! :)


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California

Another entertaining and funny story. You are the best. Let me stop commenting and go back to reading.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

fastfreta....I think you have the record for commenting on my hubs in one night....thanks a million! :)


TINA V profile image

TINA V 6 years ago

This is a funny story. Perhaps, the boss might have experienced receiving many excuses from his former employees. So he tends to doubt all reasons given for any absences or tardiness. :-D

Have a great week!


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 6 years ago from Ohio Author

Tina...thanks...LOL...yip, my brother had already given him many excuses and so did I. We missed lots of work back then. :)


Sifan profile image

Sifan 6 years ago from The Little Planet

Hahaha.... it's so funny! I laughed from the beginning to the end.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 6 years ago from Ohio Author

Sifan....thank you...glad to make you laugh. :)


Faybe Bay profile image

Faybe Bay 6 years ago from Florida

What a great story! My ex-husbands used to say that I could come up with an excuse for anything, but the truth was I learned it from calling my brother and his friends off school, and later for calling my husbands off work, and keeping the piece with their Mothers. "No ma'am, he wasn't drunk, the cops just took him in because of his long hair! They don't like him, I tell ya, they just don't like him and his car is too loud..."


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 6 years ago from Ohio Author

Thanks Faybe Bay...LOL...that long hair does it every time! :)


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma

Fact truly is stranger than fiction. That would be a hard one to make up and an awful lot of trouble just to not have to go to work. It would be harder to push a cow in a well than to actually show up at his job so I believe his story.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 4 years ago from Ohio Author

Thanks Pamela....LOL...unless Tim used his Jeep. :)

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